Abby, Tried and True

by Donna Gephart

  She looked through the glass walls at the airport, hoping to get a glimpse of Conrad, even though she knew deep in her heart he was probably already on the plane that would take him to his dad’s house. But why else would her moms go back to the airport? Something must have happened to his flight. Maybe it was postponed until tomorrow and she’d get one more day with him.

  Mama Dee made a strange noise, like a laugh bubbling up, so Abby turned to look at the back of her moms’ heads.

  Mom Rachel turned to Abby with a huge grin on her face.

  Abby looked toward the airport again, and out of the airport doors came someone carrying a red suitcase and looking around.

  Abby blinked a few times, then exploded from the car.

  She tackled her best friend in a hug. “Cat!”

  Cat had dropped her suitcase and held on to Abby in a death grip. The two swayed back and forth.

  When they broke apart, both girls had tears streaming down their cheeks.

  “How? When?” It was all Abby could get out.

  “We planned it… to surprise…” Cat couldn’t catch her breath. “You!”

  They hugged again.

  Cat’s hair smelled like strawberries.

  “I can’t believe…” Abby swiped tears from her cheeks. “You’re here! You’re actually here!”

  “I’m here!”

  They held hands and jumped up and down together.

  When Abby turned, both her moms were standing at the curb, heads tilted toward each other.

  “Bring it on in,” Mama Dee said, opening her arms to Cat.

  Cat ran to Mama Dee.

  They all ended up in a four-person hug, and Abby couldn’t have been happier.

  After the moms put Cat’s suitcase in the car, they gave each other a high five. “Nailed it,” Mama Dee said.

  “Not easy to keep a big surprise like that from a smarty-pants like you.” Mom Rachel tousled Abby’s hair.

  Abby and Cat sat in the back seat together.

  “I can’t believe you’re here,” Abby said.

  “I can’t believe I’m here,” Cat said. “Your face is thinner.” Cat touched Abby’s cheek.

  “Your hair is lighter.”

  “You seem taller,” Cat commented.

  “You do too,” Abby said.

  The whole way home, they tripped over their words catching up on everything, until Cat got quiet as they drove down their street.

  “Everything looks the same, but also different.”

  “Going away changes your perspective,” Mom Rachel said.

  Cat grabbed Abby’s hand and squeezed. “It changes everything.”

  “Except our friendship,” Abby whispered.

  Cat nodded. “Except that.”

  As soon as they parked, Cat hurried out of the car. “It’s weird pulling into your driveway instead of ours. And even weirder that a new family lives in our house now.”

  Abby thought of Conrad. She realized it was the first time she had since Cat arrived.

  * * *

  “Cat!” Paul ran out of the house and grabbed her into a bear hug on the front lawn.

  “Paul! Miss Lucy!”

  Cat scooped up Miss Lucy, who miraculously did not pee on her. But she did lick her face nonstop until she put her back down.

  “You did lose weight,” Cat said to Paul.

  Abby put her arm around Paul’s waist and squeezed. “Actually, he’s gained a bunch back already. Right, Paul?”

  “Hard not to gain weight when both your moms are chefs.”

  “I know.” Cat jumped up and down. “I’m so excited. I can’t wait to eat all their good food. I love the food in Israel, but I’ve missed your moms’ cooking and baking so much.”

  Mom Rachel kissed Cat on top of her head. “We’ve missed you and your mom.” She pressed her hands to her heart. “So much!”

  “Yes!” Mama Dee grabbed Cat’s suitcase and brought it inside.

  By the time Abby, Cat, Paul, and Miss Lucy went in, the moms were in the kitchen, laughing and getting Passover dinner together for when everyone arrived later that afternoon.

  Paul, Cat, and Abby sat on the back patio, talking.

  Mom Rachel brought out limeade spritzers with mint leaves on top.

  Cat touched Paul’s hair. “It’s soft.”

  “Yeah, it’s growing back different, but the moms think it’ll get back to the way it was soon.”

  “Paul?” Cat said in a serious tone.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m so glad you’re going to be okay.”

  He laughed. “You and me both. This was really hard. The moms took me to a therapist a couple times, and that helped. I’m just glad I’m finally feeling better, more like myself.”

  Those words made Abby’s heart happy. She hadn’t known about the therapist, but she was glad Paul had someone to talk to who could give him extra help.

  “You still playing the banjo?” Cat asked.

  “Yeah. Wanna hear a new song I came up with?”

  “Yes!” Both girls answered at once.

  Paul brought his banjo out and played an upbeat tune using his three steel finger picks.

  The notes floated into Abby’s ears and found their way deep into her heart. She wrapped her arms around her knees, soaking it all in—the music, Cat’s surprise visit, and Paul acting like his old self.

  * * *

  When the extended family arrived, everyone made a big fuss about Cat being there.

  “Our other granddaughter is here!” Zeyde Jordan announced.

  Bubbe Marcia hugged Cat, then gave Paul a big squeeze. “I’m so glad you’re doing better, bubbelah.”

  “Me too,” Paul said.

  “And look at that hair!” Bubbe patted the hair on Paul’s head. “It’s coming in curly.”

  Paul touched his hair. “It’s like I got a perm. I’m pretty sure it will straighten out and get back to normal soon.”

  Zeyde Jordan cleared his throat. “Did you all hear the one about—”

  “No!!!” Mom Rachel moaned, and everyone laughed.

  Zeyde reached into his pocket and pulled out three twenties—one for Abby, one for Paul, and one for Cat. “I was just going to say, why is money called ‘dough’? Because we all knead it.” He paused. “Get it? Knead, as in—”

  “They get it, Jordan!” Bubbe Marcia shook her head.

  Everything was exactly like it was supposed to be.

  Despite all the boring matzo they had to eat, Abby thought it was the best holiday dinner ever.

  * * *

  During Cat’s visit, she and Abby filled their days with all of their favorite things.

  They cooked and baked together. They walked into town and visited Once Upon a Bookstore, Dee’s Delights, and Perk Up.

  At Perk Up, Abby ordered hot chocolate, like usual.

  But Cat asked for a coffee. Black.

  “When’d you start drinking coffee?” Abby asked.

  Cat shrugged. “The people my age drink coffee over there.”

  “Oh.”

  “I don’t really like it that much, but I guess I got used to it.”

  Abby thought she might try a cup of coffee next time Mama Dee was making one, but she knew she’d put in agave nectar to sweeten it and add coconut milk.

  The door to Perk Up opened, and Miranda and Laura walked in.

  “Cat?!” Miranda shrieked and ran over.

  Cat hugged Miranda and Laura, while Abby stayed seated.

  “It’s so good to see you,” Miranda said.

  “Tell us all about Israel,” Laura said.

  Then Abby said something that surprised herself. “Pull up chairs and sit with us.”

  Miranda and Laura looked shocked, but they pulled chairs over. “Thanks, Abby,” Miranda said.

  “Yeah, thanks,” Laura echoed.

  “No problem.”

  “Okay.” Cat leaned forward. “Fill me in on everything that’s happened since I’ve been gone.”

&
nbsp; By the time they left, Abby felt really proud of herself. She didn’t care about the boring things Miranda and Laura talked about—what happened at the mall and which boy liked each of them—but she found a way to contribute to the conversation and ask questions, especially when they asked Cat about Israel, because she couldn’t get enough details about what Cat’s new life was like over there.

  The whole time, Abby didn’t shrink into herself. She was definitely changing—becoming more comfortable with poking her head out of her shell.

  * * *

  Before bed that night, Abby and Cat stayed up late talking, with only the soft glow from Fudge’s heat lamp illuminating the bedroom.

  “Do you think you and your mom will ever come back to live here?” Abby asked.

  “My mom said she thinks we’ll come back in three years, when our visa expires.”

  Abby’s stomach flipped with happiness, but then it twisted with worry. She wondered where Conrad and his mom would live when Cat and her mom returned to their house. “Where will you live?” Abby asked.

  Cat shrugged. “In our house next door, I guess.”

  “Yeah, of course,” Abby said. She decided not to think about it because that was a long way off. Abby knew it would be great to have both Cat and Conrad living nearby, if that could work out.

  * * *

  The last night Cat was with them, the moms made a feast, including vegetarian loaded tater tots, because they knew how much Cat loved them.

  Ethan came over too. He hadn’t been over in a while, so it was great to see him.

  Paul played his banjo for everyone after dinner, before Mama Dee served three different desserts. “A pie course. A cake course. And a cookie course,” Mama Dee said, laughing. “The perfect end to a perfect meal.”

  It was perfect.

  Good-bye and Hello

  This time, when Cat went back to the airport, Abby was sad, of course, but it wasn’t an overwhelming sadness like when Cat first left. Since that summer day, Abby learned she was stronger than she’d thought and could get through hard things.

  “My mom said we’ll be visiting for the last two weeks of July.” Cat hugged Abby on the sidewalk outside of the airport. “She already bought the plane tickets and everything.”

  “That’s only a few months away.” Abby sniffed. She couldn’t believe how quickly the time with Cat had passed. “My moms will be so happy. They’ve really missed your mom.”

  “She misses them too. But she really likes her new job at the university.”

  Abby nodded. “I’m glad.” She looked at Cat. “I’ll miss you so much, but we can do this.” It helped to know that Cat would be visiting again and that they’d probably be coming back for good at some point.

  “We’ve totally got this,” Cat said. “I’ll text you every day.”

  “We’ll video chat, too,” Abby said.

  They hugged, and when they separated, Abby realized neither of them was crying. A huge improvement over when Cat first left.

  “See you this summer, Abs.” Cat grabbed her suitcase and backed toward the airport.

  “Can’t wait!” Abby called. “We’re going to have the best time!”

  “The best!” Cat pumped her fist.

  Abby felt her moms’ hands on her shoulders.

  “She’ll be back soon.” Mom Rachel kissed Abby on the head.

  “Love that girl,” Mama Dee said.

  “Me too,” whispered Abby.

  After Cat went inside the airport, Abby and her moms drove home without saying much.

  Abby guessed they might be thinking about the same thing she was—all the things that had happened from the time Cat and her mom left until now, mostly about what Paul went through with surgery and treatments. What they all endured to help him through it. And how hard it was even after he was done with the treatments.

  Back home, Abby cleaned out Fudge’s tank, then wrote a poem while she waited for Conrad to return later that day. She was sorry Cat didn’t get a chance to meet Conrad during her visit, but she couldn’t wait to talk to him about Cat’s visit and find out how everything went at his dad’s house. Abby wondered if Conrad had memorized any new poems while he was there.

  She focused on her own poem, and the marks she was making on the page looked like musical notes, gently floating together to create a quiet rhythm.

  Good-bye and Hello

  Good-bye.

  Good-byes are hard,

  But they’re followed by hellos.

  Good-byes are endings,

  But hellos are new beginnings.

  After the good-bye,

  You need to keep your eyes

  And your heart open

  For the next hello.

  Hello.

  That evening, Conrad came over as soon as he got home from the airport.

  Abby opened the door before he knocked the second time. “Hey!” She loved how Conrad’s face lit up as soon as he saw her.

  “Hey, Abs. You look… happy.”

  She nodded. “I am.”

  Conrad walked in and sat on the couch with her.

  Miss Lucy jumped up between them and put her head in Conrad’s lap.

  “Aw, missed you.” He pet Miss Lucy’s soft ears. “You’re a good girl.” Then he looked at Abby. “I missed you, Braverman.”

  Abby relaxed into the couch. “Missed you too. How was everything at your dad’s house?”

  “It was really nice. We went to the library twice, a new bookstore, and three different museums.”

  “Wow!”

  “Yeah, they live in a big city with a lot of cool stuff. And my half brother and half sister were kind of adorable. I played basketball with them. They were almost as bad as you, Abs.”

  “Hey!”

  Conrad held up his hands as though she might hit him, but of course she wouldn’t.

  “So, when will you visit them again?”

  “Dad said I could spend the summer there if I wanted.”

  Abby’s breath caught. “Will you?”

  Conrad grinned. “Not sure I could be away from you that long.”

  Abby felt her cheeks heat up. “Yeah, that would be hard, but you should be with your dad, if you want to.”

  “Thanks, Abs. You’re a good friend.”

  Abby thought that Conrad was a terrific friend too, because he was happy for her when things were going well and he was there for her when things were hard. Abby knew she didn’t have a lot of friends, like some people did, but the two she had were such great ones that it felt like enough.

  Abby leaned toward Conrad and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

  He touched his fingers to his lips. “What was that for?”

  She shrugged. “Felt like it.”

  He nodded. “Good. Keep feeling like it. Now tell me all about what happened while I was gone.”

  So she did.

  * * *

  Later that night, Paul set up the Monopoly game on the table. “Let’s go, Six-Pack. You can have the dog token and be the banker.”

  Abby sat at the table with her brother and handed out the money. “You’re going down in flames, Paul. I will have no mercy on you.”

  “I’d expect nothing less.”

  Abby sipped the limeade spritzer Mom Rachel had brought out.

  Paul organized his money. “There’s no way you’re getting all the railroads this time. Not going to happen.”

  “Oh, we’ll see about that.” Abby glanced over at her moms.

  They were on the couch, watching TV with their heads leaning on each other. They held hands and looked happy and relaxed.

  Abby stopped to appreciate the moment. She knew it might seem ordinary to anyone else, but to her, it was absolutely extraordinary.

  * * *

  Before bed that night, Abby sat in front of Fudge’s tank and watched him swim from one side to the other. She touched her fingers to the glass. “Turtles have a lot going for them,” she told Fudge. “They’re awesome exactly as they ar
e.”

  Fudge swam to where Abby’s fingers were pressed against the tank, opened his mouth, and seemed to nod in complete agreement.

  Author’s Note

  This is one of the most difficult books I’ve ever written. I danced around a book about a young person dealing with cancer for many years, trying to write other versions that didn’t work. Maybe I wasn’t ready to face painful memories yet. After I finally wrote this book, dear reader, I set it aside and completely rewrote it because I wanted an honest story that told the truth about a very challenging experience.

  While the characters are creations of my imagination, the heart of the story is actually mine.

  In my mid-thirties, with sons who were in second and fourth grades, I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. That diagnosis shattered my world. I wanted to be around to help my children through the difficult things in their lives and to celebrate their joys. I wanted to celebrate the next wedding anniversary with my wonderful husband. I wanted more sunrises and sunsets. I had books to write. And, reader, I was terrified of the serious surgery and intense treatments that lay ahead for me. I remember desperately wishing I could have all of it behind me, but I knew the only way beyond it was through it. I also knew there were no guarantees I’d be okay on the other side, even though the odds were in my favor with the type of cancer I had—a dysgerminoma.

  The treatments I endured were the same ones Abby’s brother Paul experienced, except I had three weeklong rounds of chemotherapy in the hospital instead of four. Those with some forms of testicular cancer, like the kind bicyclist Lance Armstrong had, endure four rounds.

  After having three rounds of intensive chemotherapy, I was so depleted in every way that I couldn’t imagine summoning the courage to go into the hospital for a fourth round. I have great respect for those who’ve had to do it.

  I chose to specifically feature testicular cancer in this novel because when found early, successful treatment rates are very high. People need to be comfortable using words like “testicle”—a part of the body—so that there’s no shame when a young person might discover an irregularity. We want young people feeling comfortable telling parents and doctors and getting medical attention as soon as possible. The key to the best outcome is early detection. Eliminating shame or stigma can prevent suffering and save lives.