by J L Aarne
Ezekiel bit back a smile. “Would that bother you?”
“Perhaps,” Rainer said. “I have, after all, grown pretty used to seeing you lurking around and all that. Stalking me. Do you think that’s unhealthy? Becoming used to one’s stalker? Wondering where they’ve gone off to when they’re not around doing their stalking?”
“Sure,” Ezekiel said. “But it does happen.”
Rainer grinned. “I’m sure it does,” he said.
“Why?” Ezekiel asked. “Did you miss me?”
“Perhaps I’ve just grown used to you. Like a pair of shoes,” Rainer said.
“Shoes?”
“Would you like to come inside?”
Ezekiel shook his head.
Rainer sighed. “Ah, well, I thought I’d ask. As I said before, the offer stands.”
Ezekiel was looking at the new tattoo on Rainer’s forearm. It was Latin: Quod tu es, ego fui. Quod ego sum, tu eris.
It was an old riddle found on ancient tombs, in catacombs and on burial grounds: What you are, I once was. What I am, you will become.
Rainer could have just tattooed I am Death into his skin. It would have been less poetic, but more concise.
“You’re smiling, Agent Herod,” Rainer said.
“Am I?” Ezekiel asked, sliding his gaze up to meet Rainer’s.
Rainer smiled back and continued to lean on the door of his car. “I was watching the news this morning. They found a body in a butcher shop across town. Apparently he was skinned alive. Like an animal. You didn’t work that case, did you?”
Henry Lee Cairn’s body had been discovered the previous afternoon by people thinking about buying the property. Ezekiel watched the news with Jacob after he got home from work. Jacob had been horrified and Ezekiel had tried to be horrified, too.
“He was a serial rapist. I worked that case,” Ezekiel said. “Why? What’s your interest?”
“Why wouldn’t I be interested?” Rainer asked. “It’s fascinating. Man was skinned while still alive. Imagine the agony. It must have been unbelievable.”
Rainer touched the tip of his tongue to his top lip and looked thoughtful. Then he tapped his fingers on the door and stood up. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to it,” he said. “I’m going inside though, so you’re about to have nothing of much interest to stare at. Blacktop, courtyard, old lady walking her rat shit dog… I would be so bored. It’s like Chinese water torture, but you are very dedicated and I have the deepest respect for that kind of commitment. Have fun.”
Ezekiel watched him walk back across the courtyard and go up the steps into his apartment. Rainer could feel him watching him and it made him smile.
He finished his lesson plan for the rest of the week then he made a sandwich, opened a beer and turned on the TV. He watched Law & Order: SVU, then Law & Order: Criminal Intent, finished his sandwich, another beer and opened a bag of frosted animal crackers while he watched CSI. His neighbors had stopped fighting or they had died, but either way they had shut up and that was nice. He hated it when they started that while he was trying to relax and watch his programs.
He was forty-five minutes into Law & Order the original when Ezekiel knocked on the door. Rainer opened it and smiled at him. Ezekiel frowned.
“If you’ve changed your mind, you do not look like a man who is pleased by the decision, Agent Herod,” Rainer said.
“Can I use your bathroom?” Ezekiel asked.
“Are you going to search through my medicine cabinet for illegal substances?” Rainer asked. He was mostly teasing. He did not keep his illegal substances in the bathroom medicine cabinet.
“No,” Ezekiel said.
Rainer stepped back and pushed open the door. “Then by all means. Mi casa es su casa.”
Ezekiel’s lips twitched. “Thanks,” he said.
He walked by Rainer and went down the hallway. He didn’t ask him where the bathroom was because the apartment was small enough that there was only really one place to look for it. It was the second door on the right; the first one was a linen closet.
Ezekiel used the toilet, washed his hands and walked back down the hall. He intended to thank Rainer again and leave, but he paused in the doorway on the step down into the living room to see what he was watching on TV. The music had become very dramatic. The actor who was playing the interrogating cop was really leaning in toward the actor playing the guy he was grilling. That guy was starting to get very agitated.
“Looks like it’s almost confession time,” Ezekiel remarked.
Rainer looked at him and blinked. “You know about confession time?” he asked.
Ezekiel huffed soft laughter. “Doesn’t everyone know about confession time?”
“Do they?” Rainer asked.
“I think so,” Ezekiel said. He stepped down into the room and stood watching it with him.
“You can sit down. I do not bite,” Rainer said.
“I don’t think I believe that,” Ezekiel said, thinking of the missing slice of heart meat taken from the body of Robert Weaver.
Rainer shrugged. “That’s all right. I lied. I do bite,” he said. “But you can still sit down and I promise I won’t bite you.”
“Well, that’s reassuring,” Ezekiel said dryly, but he did move to the sofa and sit down on the end opposite Rainer.
Rainer slid his eyes to the side to watch him then smiled, pleased. “Now. I make no promises for the future.”
“Sure, keep your options open,” Ezekiel said.
“What are my other options?”
“I could punch you in the face again.”
“Or both. I bite you, you punch me and we both get what we want.”
Ezekiel glanced at him and caught Rainer smiling at him. “I don’t think biting me is really what you want to do,” he said.
Rainer’s smile widened. He drew one knee up and propped his chin on it. “I don’t think punching me is what you really want to do either,” he said.
Ezekiel made a scoffing sound and looked back at the TV.
“I think I’d enjoy the hell out of biting you though, if that makes you feel any better,” Rainer said.
“I’d probably enjoy punching you, too. It was fun the first time,” Ezekiel said.
“Kinky,” Rainer said. “Hush now, he’s confessing. We’ll miss it.”
Ezekiel tried not smile, but he couldn’t help it. It was funny and he had liked Rainer from the first time he met him. He didn’t want to like him because he was a murderer and a psychopath and an all around bad guy, but he did.
As the actor started confessing, sobbing and telling the police how sorry he was for what he’d done, voices raised in argument in the adjacent apartment and they could clearly hear them shouting through the wall in the kitchen.
“What the fuck did you just say to me?! What the fuck did—”
“Get your hands off her, you son of a bitch!”
Rainer let out a heavy, irritated sigh. “Sorry about the neighbors. They used to be so quiet.”
“Are these new ones?” Ezekiel asked.
Rainer kept darting distracted glances toward his kitchen as the screaming continued. He clenched and unclenched his hands in his lap and against his knee. He was trying to be calm, but he was quickly growing agitated. Ezekiel knew the signs.
“No. It was just the mother and the son living there until recently,” Rainer said. “I don’t mind them. I even kind of like the boy. His father was released from prison though and he hunted them down. Because restraining orders are so effective.”
On the TV, the confession had finished and they watched the cops have their little conversation at the end, then Dick Wolf’s name popped up on the black screen and it was over. Rainer got up and walked out of the living room, calling back over his shoulder, “Would you like something? Beer or Coke or… I can make coffee if you want me to.”
“Coffee would be great,” Ezekiel said. It came out before he thought about it. He should not stay. He shouldn’t have sat down in the fi
rst place. He should leave and he should definitely not drink anything Rainer gave him. Instead, he said, “If it’s not a problem.”
“No. It’ll be a few minutes though,” Rainer said.
He had a brand new coffee pot thanks to Elijah and Erzsé, which he had spent an hour playing with the morning after it arrived. He could make cappuccino, mocha and espresso with it and he kind of adored the thing. He filled it with water and set it to make a pot of regular coffee, dark as he knew very well Ezekiel preferred it.
“Don’t you fucking touch her again! I swear to God I’ll call the cops!”
There was a crash in the other apartment just on the other side of the wall from where Rainer stood. Laura screamed and Lance yelled, “Go ahead! I’d like to see you try it now, you little shit!”
Lance had apparently ripped the phone from the wall. Rainer tried to remember if Caleb had a cell phone. He thought so. Even homeless people had cell phones these days.
Rainer reached over and banged on the wall. “Shut the fuck up over there!”
There was dead silence in response for half a minute. Then Lance shouted, “FUCK YOU! MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS, FAGGOT!”
Rainer sucked his tongue against the back of his teeth and tried to hold his temper. Ezekiel was in his living room, he reminded himself. Ezekiel was not only a law enforcement officer, but he was trying to find a reason to lock Rainer up. That was the game they were playing after all, and Rainer liked the game, but if he lost his temper with Lance right now and did to him what he dearly wanted to do, Ezekiel wouldn’t even have to try very hard to win. He reminded himself of these things, but it wasn’t in his nature to listen to such warnings of caution, even from himself. He drew a butcher knife out of the block on the counter and started for the door.
Ezekiel beat him to it. “No, put that away,” he said.
He opened the door and went outside onto the walkway. Rainer put the knife on the table and followed him then stood in the doorway and watched as Ezekiel pounded on the door with the side of his fist. When there was no answer from inside after a minute, he did it again a little harder.
“FBI, open the door,” Ezekiel said.
The door opened a crack and Lance peered out at him. He was wearing stained sweatpants and a Corona T-shirt. He glared at Ezekiel in disbelief. “You ain’t fucking FBI,” he said.
He started to close the door on Ezekiel and Ezekiel smacked the flat of his hand to it and held it open. “Please step outside, sir.”
Lance thought about it. Finally, cursing under his breath, he opened the door and stepped outside onto the walkway with Ezekiel. “Fucking bitch called the cops. I told her—”
“I didn’t call anybody, Lancey,” Laura said in a quavering voice behind him.
“Shut up, bitch! I’ll deal with you later!” Lance shouted back.
Ezekiel reached around him and yanked the door closed.
Lance spotted Rainer in his doorway watching events unfold. “The fuck are you looking at?” he demanded.
Ezekiel snapped his fingers in front of Lance’s face. “Over here, dumbass.”
“You can’t talk to me like that,” Lance said. “Who the fuck do you think you are, talking to me like that? I’ll—”
Ezekiel had already taken out his ID and now he smacked Lance in the face with it. “What’s that say?” he demanded. “Even an illiterate piece of shit like you can spell F-B-I, Lancey. That’s who the fuck I am.”
Lance rubbed the bridge of his nose and glared petulantly at Ezekiel. “What do you want, man? I ain’t done nothing. I ain’t bothering nobody.”
“You’re bothering the shit out of me,” Ezekiel said. “And I understand you’re in violation of a restraining order against the woman who lives in this apartment, Lancey.”
“She’s my wife,” Lance said, outraged. “What am I supposed to do? I’m supposed to not come find my wife? I’m supposed to not live with my wife? I’m supposed to—”
“Ex-wife,” Rainer put in.
Lance pointed at Rainer and took a step toward him. “You mind your own fucking business you fag—”
Ezekiel reached over and lightly smacked Lance’s face, turning his attention instantly back to him. “No, you talk to me,” he said. “As a matter of fact, Lancey, that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do.”
“Stop fucking calling me that,” Lance snapped.
Ezekiel put a hand to his chest and shoved him hard. Lance instantly started to fight him, but Ezekiel grabbed his arm, twisted it behind him, turned him and slammed Lance against the wall. Lance still tried to fight, tried to push back and get away from him, but Ezekiel put a little more pressure on his shoulder and even Lance understood he should stop or he might get hurt.
“I will call you whatever the fuck I want to call you, Lancey,” Ezekiel said, a growl sliding into his voice. “If I want to, I will arrest your ass here and now, lead you out of here in handcuffs and make it my personal mission to see that they throw you back behind bars and forget where they left you for a long, long time.”
“No, man, no. Don’t,” Lance said. A pleading whine entered his voice and he rolled his eyes up trying to look at Ezekiel. “Please. I’m sorry. I didn’t do nothing.”
“You’re going to leave this place, aren’t you, Lancey?” Ezekiel said. “Right now. You’re going to go somewhere and you’re going to stay away. If I see you around here again, I might have to talk to your parole officer.”
“You can’t fucking do that!” Lance said.
He tried to stand away from the wall, but Ezekiel pushed him back, pressing his cheek against the rough brick. “Or who knows what might happen to you, Lancey?” he asked. “Do you think anyone would really miss an ex-con wife beater with a big fat chip on his shoulder, a drug habit and an overabundance of self-loathing? I don’t. People go missing in this city every day, Lancey. Better people than you.”
“Let me go, man,” Lance begged. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re going to leave, aren’t you, Lancey?” Ezekiel asked.
“Yeah. I will. I’ll leave. I swear,” Lance said, eager to please. “Let me go.”
“And if I see you again, you understand what’s going to happen, don’t you?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I get it. I won’t. I’m gone, I swear to God.”
Ezekiel let him go with a little shove and stepped back. “Good. Now get lost.”
Lance looked like he was thinking of going back into the apartment and even took a step in that direction. Ezekiel made a scolding sound of negation in his throat and Lance halted. Then he turned and walked by Rainer and started down the steps. Ezekiel followed him to the top of the stairs and watched him leave.
When Lance was gone, he turned back to Rainer. “So, shall we?”
“Oh, yeah,” Rainer said, grinning.
He stepped backward into his apartment and watched Ezekiel as he walked by him and returned to the living room. He started to follow him, remembered the coffee he’d set to brew and turned back into the kitchen. He poured Ezekiel a cup of coffee, returned the knife to the cutting block and sat down with him.
“So, what else is on?” Ezekiel asked. He took the coffee from him, blew on it and sipped.
Rainer couldn’t remember what else was on. He was still thinking about Ezekiel slamming whining, pathetic asshole Lance LaRoche against the wall and the way his voice had growled as he leaned into him. He snatched up the remote control from the table and checked the menu.
“It’s another CSI,” he said.
He threw the remote back down and went back to watching Ezekiel drink his coffee. Ezekiel knew he was watching him, but he looked at the TV and gave no sign of it. He drank his coffee and watched a commercial for cranberry juice. When he couldn’t ignore the tension coming off of Rainer in waves any longer, he looked over at him.
Rainer looked back and they watched each other for a few moments while Ezekiel drank his coffee. “What?” he asked, setting the cup down.
“Than
k you,” Rainer said.
Ezekiel raised an eyebrow. “For?”
“That,” Rainer said, gesturing toward the door. “Thanks for that.”
Ezekiel stared at him. Something else was going through his crazy head. “Okay. You’re welcome.”
Rainer nodded. Then he moved and he was quicker than Ezekiel expected. He was across the sofa, straddling his lap before he could anticipate what he intended. When he kissed him, Ezekiel could have stopped him and there was an instant when he nearly did, but then he didn’t and Rainer was kneeling over him on the sofa, kissing him like he meant to try climbing down his throat.
Ezekiel did nothing for a second, but then his hands lifted to Rainer’s neck and he remembered his fantasy about choking him as he stroked his fingers there and kissed him back. Rainer moaned and his hands slipped up the back of Ezekiel’s neck into his hair and the urge to push him down right there and fuck him was instinctive and strong.
Instead, Ezekiel took his hips in his hands, lifted him a little and shoved him off of him. Rainer rolled off him, panting for breath, his blue eyes a little dazed. He started to sit back up and Ezekiel stood.
“You have got to quit doing that,” he said. His hand shook as he dragged it through his hair. His pulse was racing a little too fast. “Goddamn it.”
Rainer relaxed back on the sofa and didn’t say anything. He regarded Ezekiel with satisfied amusement.
“I’ve got to go,” Ezekiel said. He turned to leave. “Thanks for the coffee.”
“Any time, Ezekiel,” Rainer called after him.
Ezekiel opened the door. “See you later, sweetheart.”
He inwardly winced as the endearment fell thoughtlessly out of his mouth. Rainer’s deep, pleased laughter followed him out of the apartment and dogged him back to his car.
Chapter 28
Ezekiel stayed home on the weekend. Technically he was off, but unofficially he was working on his laptop at the kitchen table most of the day. Jacob went out to run errands in the afternoon and returned home in the evening to find him still there, large cup of coffee gone cold by his elbow, eating a giant Snickers candy bar.
“I was going to ask what you wanted for dinner, but I don’t suppose you’ll be hungry anyway,” Jacob said.