by L A Cotton
“You are so much more than that, Mya.” His eyes burned with something I’d seen before. At first, it had been when he looked at Felicity. But then his sights had shifted from her to me, right around the time she and Jason became more than just two people who liked to drive each other crazy.
I still didn’t know how I felt about it.
Dropping my gaze, I ran my finger over the worn wooden countertops. My aunt had opened her door to me without question; welcoming me into her home and heart. She didn’t say the words, but I think she saw a lot of her younger self in me. A girl desperate to escape. Only I never wanted to escape. I just knew I couldn’t stay there anymore without losing a part of myself.
So here I was in Rixon. Hiding. Pretending everything was okay. Trying to outrun a past that I knew would one day catch up with me.
“You are so fucking beautiful it hurts.”
My eyes snapped to Asher’s and he cussed under his breath. “Shit, Mya, I didn’t… I mean, I did, but I didn’t. Fuck.”
“I think you should go,” I said calmly, giving no hint at the band of horses galloping through my chest.
“It just came out. I didn’t… Let’s rewind. Pretend I never said it.”
“Asher.” I gave him a pointed look, fighting a smile. “You don’t think I’m beautiful?”
“What? No… I do. Of course, I do, but I thought…” Asher cussed again. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?”
My lip curved in a faint smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
He stood up, an apology dancing in his eyes. “Don’t let this make things weird between us, Hernandez. I can appreciate a beautiful woman even if I know she belongs to someone else.”
“I don’t—”
“It’s written all over your face. Besides, Hailee and Flick talk. A lot.”
“They told you about—”
“They wouldn’t do that, no. But sometimes I hear things… see things,” he said cryptically. “Whoever he is, he doesn’t deserve you.”
“Yeah, and what makes you say that?” I lifted my chin ready to defend Jermaine. I guess some habits were harder to kick than others.
“Because he let you run. And if you were mine, I’d chase you to the ends of the Earth before I ever gave you up.”
My.
Heart.
Stopped.
Beating.
“And on that note,” Asher smirked, a trace of vulnerability in his expression. “I’ll see myself out. Until tomorrow, Mya Hernandez.”
I watched as Asher walked away trying to figure out what I felt most confused about: that Asher had called me beautiful, or that his parting words had sounded a lot like a promise.
An hour later, I was busy at the stove when the front door rattled. “Mya?” My aunt’s voice drifted down the hall.
“In the kitchen,” I called back, stirring the pan of tomato sauce.
“Ooh, something smells good.”
“It’s just spaghetti.” Glancing back, I smiled. “How was your day?”
“My feet are ten degrees hotter than hell, but I’ll live. Did you throw in some of those chilies I like?”
“Yep.”
“Good girl. I taught you well.”
Making her extra hot tomato sauce was one of the first things Aunt Ciara taught me when I’d arrived. Everything about my aunt from her five-three stature to her petite frame and sparkling eyes screamed sweet. But Ciara Hernandez liked her food hot. Eyes burning, mouth-watering, get-the-fire-hose hot.
“I saw Mrs. Clements. She said you had a visitor.”
My spine stiffened at the disapproval in her voice. “A friend gave me a ride home, yeah.”
“And did this friend also come inside the house?”
“Aunt C, I’m eighteen.” I kept my cool, offering her a placating smile. “I didn’t think it would be a problem.”
“She also said she thought he was a football player.” Her brow lifted, voice drenched in accusation.
“Asher plays for the team, yes.”
“Mya, girl, don’t be telling me you brought that Bennet boy into my house.”
“He’s just a friend.”
“Yeah, and it was your friendship with Jermaine that landed you here. Do you really want to go—”
“That’s not fair,” I said, quietly feeling the weight of her words settle heavy on my chest.
She clucked her tongue. “Those Raiders are bad news. Walk around this town like they own the damn place. Get away with murder too. I’m not sure I like the idea of you taking up with one of them.”
“I’m not taking up with anyone. There was a storm. He offered me a ride home and it seemed rude to just send him on his way, so I invited him in. It isn’t a big deal.”
Aunt Ciara’s expression softened as she looked to the ceiling, no doubt silently asking the Lord for guidance. When she settled her big eyes back on me, she said, “I know how hard this is for you, Mya. I’ve been there, remember? I’ve walked the path you walk now, except I had no one to turn to or guide me right. You’re here to finish senior year, to get your diploma, and get into a good school. To put your life in Fallowfield Heights behind you. You are such a bright young girl, and you have such a bright future ahead of you, but you have to stay on course.”
“It was just a ride home, Auntie.”
“A ride home with a white athlete who thinks he can take what he wants when he wants without consequence.”
“Auntie, that’s not—”
“I know how it sounds.” She sighed. “But it’s the truth, whether you want to hear it or not.”
There was no use arguing with her. Aunt Ciara was a woman scorned, her heart still wounded by the young man who’d promised her the world and gave her nothing but a broken heart and countless black eyes.
“I don’t pick my friends based on the color of their skin, Aunt C. That’s not who I am.”
“And I wouldn’t want you to. You’re better than that. But the lines blur so easily, Mya. And boys like that Asher Bennet and his football friends are used to the people falling at their feet.”
I went back to stirring the tomato sauce. “We’re just friends,” I uttered again.
But every time I said the words, the lie coiled a little tighter around my heart. Because I wasn’t sure me and Asher were just friends. Yet, I knew we could never be more.
So where the hell did that leave us?
Chapter Four
Asher
“Fee, baby, can we talk?” I jogged up beside Felicity, laughing when she gave me her deer-caught-in-headlights expression. “Chill, Jase is in the gym. He’ll never have to know.” With a wink, I slung my arm around her shoulder.
“Asher! You can’t do that. If Jason sees… you know how jealous he gets.” She batted my arm and it fell away, much like my bravado.
“So it’s like that, huh?” I pouted dramatically. “Fine. I’ll just have to go harass Hailee. At least she won’t—”
“I didn’t say we couldn’t talk.” Felicity smiled. “It’s just Jason is really wound up about the exhibition game. I’m worried about him.”
“Thatcher is off the team. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“I know that, and you know that, but Jason is…”
“Jason,” I said, needing no further explanation. “I’ll talk to him.”
“Thanks. I tried to help him last night, but he didn’t want to know.”
“Are you sure you were doing it right?” I frowned, fighting a smirk. “Because it’s not that difficult, Fee, baby. You just put the p—”
“Asher, stop!” she shrieked, swatting my chest, her soft laughter washing over me. It wasn’t so long ago I’d work hard to hear that sound. But that was before I realized she was meant to be with my best friend. Now I loved her like a sister.
And I needed a sisterly favor.
“What do you want?” she asked, trading out some books in her locker.
“So this is going to sound weird but I don’t have an
yone else to ask.”
“Okay.” Her brows bunched together as she glanced over at me.
“It’s about Mya.”
“Oh no; no you don’t.” She slammed her locker closed. “I’m not getting in the middle of whatever weird thing you two have going on.”
Weird thing?
“Did Mya say something to you about me?”
“I wouldn’t tell you if she did. She’s my friend. And you’re...” Felicity hesitated.
“Also your friend?” My lip curved.
“Well, yes, but it’s different. You’re my boyfriend’s best friend. And Mya is one of my best friends. I can’t be in the middle of this. Whatever this is.”
“I need to know what happened with her ex.”
“Oh hell no, Asher Bennet,” her voice rose again but Felicity quickly schooled her panic. “You can’t ask me that.” Her hand wrapped around my arm pulling me into the locker, carving out a sliver of privacy in the emptying hall. “What kind of question is that?”
“Well, I thought it was a perfectly reasonable question until you went all psycho on me.” I grinned because making light of things was my default setting. Even if I wanted to kidnap Felicity and hold her hostage until she told me every little detail about Mya and her ex.
She reared back, studying me. “Did something happen between the two of you?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Asher…”
“Fine. I may have let it slip out I thought she was beautiful. Yep, I may have said that.”
Fuck.
I felt like a giant pussy admitting it. But if anyone would understand it was Felicity Giles.
“I see.”
My eyes narrowed. “What the hell does that mean?”
“I, hmm, nothing. It means nothing.” Her lips thinned and I didn’t like the cautious look in her eyes. “What did she say?”
“She kicked me out of her aunt’s house quicker than you can say, ‘Go Raider’s’.”
“That sounds like Mya.”
“So,” I flounced back against the locker bank. “I need to know what happened between them.”
“Why?”
“Because I need to know what I’m up against here.”
“You like her,” she deadpanned. “You really like her.”
“You sound surprised?” My brow quirked up.
“No, I mean Mya’s hot and you’re… well, you’re you.” Felicity’s eyes went wide, darting around us as if she was worried Jase might appear at any second. “But I didn’t think it was anything serious.”
Ignoring that, I said, “I’m flattered you think I’m hot, Fee, but that ship has sailed.” My smile fell, my heart falling right along with it.
Jesus, I was confused.
I liked Mya, there was no denying that.
But my heart couldn’t forget the first girl it had felt something for.
Something real.
“Asher…” Sadness washed over her.
“Hey, it’s all good, right?” I flashed her a reassuring grin, turning my easy charm back on. “We’re friends and you’re with Jason now. Everything worked out the way it was supposed to, but now I need you to help me.”
“With Mya.”
I nodded.
“I’m not sure she’s looking for anything right now. Things with her ex ended badly and…” Guilt glittered in Flick’s eyes. “I’ve already said too much.”
Actually, she hadn’t said enough.
“Listen, you can either help me or I can find out myself.”
“Why is this so important to you?” Felicity stared up at me as if I’d lost my damn mind.
And it occurred to me, maybe I had.
But I saw something in Mya, felt it every time I was around her. I couldn’t explain it, but I couldn’t just ignore it either. Especially not since my two best friends had gone and gotten themselves loved up.
“Do you actually like her, or is this just some game, because I’m not—”
“Come on, Flick, you know me better than that. I like her, okay? There’s something in her eyes…” I swallowed the words, realizing how fucking stupid I sounded. “She ever talk about me?”
“I...”
“Shit, don’t answer that.” I’d obviously misread the situation. Way to go, jackass.
“Want my advice?” Felicity asked.
“Always.”
“Don’t force it. If it’s meant to be, things will find a way of working themselves out. And if it’s not meant to be, you can still be friends. Besides, it’s not like Mya will be here forever. She’ll have to go home eventually and then there’s college.”
My chest tightened at that. I hadn’t really given much thought to what happened down the line. Focusing only on what happened now.
Or what I wanted to happen.
“You can’t escape destiny,” I said with arrogant conviction, earning me a snicker from Flick.
“And you and Mya are destiny?”
“Written in the stars, baby. She’s running from her past. I’m...” Shit. I swallowed the words but there was no avoiding Felicity’s scrutinizing gaze.
“You’re what?”
“Nothing. Thanks for the help. I’ll catch you later?”
“Later?” Her face paled.
“Yeah, you guys are still coming over, right? I thought we were having a movie night?” And since I was the only one with the home movie theater, we usually crashed at mine.
“I...”
“You have other plans.” My chest tightened.
“It’s just with this exhibition game and Jason walking around like a bear with a sore head, I wanted to do something to cheer him up.”
“Hey, you can be cheery at my house… aaaand you don’t mean that kind of cheering up. You mean cheer-sex.”
“Asher!” The skin along her neck flushed pink.
“Fine. Go cheer-sex your guy. I guess I’ll make do with Hailee and Cameron.”
“Hmm...” Guilt flashed in her eyes and I groaned.
“Let me guess. The cheer-sex stuff comes after a double date?”
“We just didn’t think you’d want to—”
“I get it. Nobody likes playing third wheel.” Or in this case, fifth. “Well, have fun.” I didn’t mean to sound as bitter as I did. But fuck, if it didn’t sting being dropped by your best friends for couples’ night.
“I’m sure it would be okay if you came with us.”
“And cramp your style? Nah, I’m good.” I forced a smile. “You guys go have fun. I’ll be fine.”
“You’re sure? I made reservations at that new restaurant on the edge of town. Jason’s dad recommended it.”
“Does Jason know that?”
“It can be our secret.”
“Sure.” I had enough of those, what was one more?
“We’ll all hang out tomorrow?”
“Yeah, of course.” It came out strained. “Have fun tonight.” I gave her a two-fingered salute and stalked down the hall, wondering when life got so fucking complicated.
On the face of it, everything had changed at the beginning of senior year, when Hailee and Cameron started eye-fucking each other across the cafeteria. But the truth was, things had felt off for me for a while. Before the girls turned our world upside down.
Senior year was supposed to be the best time of our lives. But sometimes it felt like a noose around my neck.
I shouldered the door and stepped out into the murky cold air, when I spotted a blur of spiral curls, ripped jeans, and military boots. “Oh, hell no,” I murmured as I cut across the lot. “Mya, wait up,” I yelled.
I hadn’t seen her all day, and I was pretty sure it was because she was avoiding me.
“You need a ride?” I asked, slowing down to her pace.
“I’m good but thanks for the offer.” She wrapped her arms around her waist, hugging her jacket tight to her body.
“Come on, it looks like another storm is about to hit and your aunt live
s three miles out.”
“I don’t know...”
“I’ll be on my best behavior. Scout’s honor.”
“You expect me to believe you were a boy scout.”
“Okay, you got me, but I swear I have no ulterior motive this time.”
Her dark eyes searched mine, eventually softening around the edges. “I wouldn’t say no to a ride downtown.”
“You’re not heading home?”
Mya shrugged. “My aunt has her friends coming over and I don’t much feel like listening to them gossip. And Flick and Hailee are…” she trailed off.
“It’s cool, I just got the memo. Sucks to be us, huh?”
“Better than them trying to get us to triple date.”
“Ouch!” Strangled laughter rumbled in my chest despite how much her words stung.
“Shit, Asher, I didn’t mean—”
“Don’t sweat it. I have tough skin, Hernandez. But since we’ve both been blown off by our so-called friends, we could, I don’t know, hang out maybe?” I steeled myself for her rejection.
So color me surprised when the word, “Okay,” slipped from her soft pink lips.
“Yeah?” my eyes widened.
“Yeah, so long as you don’t make a bigger deal out of this than it is.”
“And what is this?” I teased.
“Two friends getting milkshakes at The Alley?”
“You have yourself a deal, friend.”
Mya rolled her eyes as if she knew exactly what was going through my head. But there was no way she knew.
Because if she did, I was pretty sure she’d be running for the hills.
“I used to love this place.” I glanced around The Alley, taking in the familiar Formica tables, clink of the pinball machine, and smell of fried food.
“Why did you stop coming?”
“Once we made Varsity, it was just kind of off-limits. Everyone knew Tate, the owner, didn’t stand any football rivalry bullshit so we just avoided it.”
“Because you wanted to cause trouble?”
“Not really, but coming here meant shedding our jersey’s and in case you haven’t noticed, we’re not about that.”
She glanced down at me. I was sure her eyes lingered on my chest a little longer than necessary. “You’re not wearing your jersey today.”