by L A Cotton
“Things are different now the season is over.” The words came out strained as I led Mya over to a booth.
“But there’s the exhibition game.”
“Yeah, but it’s not like State. There was a lot riding on that. We had a lot to prove. This game is just a way for Principal Finnigan and Principal Castrol to look good in front of the press. Finnigan has been wanting to clean up our reputation since he transferred here and this gives him a platform to do that.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever understand how one town can be so obsessed with football.” Mya picked up a menu, and I found myself lost in the way she studied it, her big brown eyes sweeping over the laminated card, sparking with interest.
“Stop,” she let out a small sigh.
“Stop what? I’m not doing—”
“I can feel you watching me.” Her eyes flicked to mine. So dark and intense… and pissed.
“Right. Sorry.”
“You promised, Asher.” Mya lay the menu flat, pressing her hands against it. “Friends, remember?”
“Friends, got it… and why is that again?”
She blew out another exasperated breath. “Because I’m not looking for a relationship. And you’re…” Mya shook her head. “We’re just not compatible.”
“You haven’t even given me a chance. It makes sense. You’re friends with Hailee and Felicity and we’re all always hanging out anyway.”
“Which is just another reason it makes no sense. Flick and Hailee are my only…” Mya pressed her lips together.
“Your only what?”
Leaning across the table a little, she whispered, “My only friends here. If we did try dating, which we are not doing, and it went wrong, I’d lose them.”
“They wouldn’t choose me over you.”
“No but they’d choose their boyfriends.” Something flickered in her eyes.
“You’re so certain we wouldn’t work out. Why is that?” I scrubbed my jaw, half-surprised, half-relieved she wasn’t just shutting down this line of conversation.
“Look around you, Asher.”
Frowning, I glanced around the diner. A few kids watched us, curiosity glittering in their eyes. But it wasn’t anything outside the usual. Kids tended to know when a Raider was around. It’s just how it was in Rixon; came with the responsibility of wearing a blue and white jersey.
“In case you haven’t noticed, having an audience comes with the territory.”
“Wow, arrogant much?”
Laughter rumbled in my chest. “Just telling it like it is. I could care less if we have an audience. I only see you, Mya.”
Her lips parted on a small gasp.
“What, no sassy comeback?”
“I do not sass.”
“Sure you don’t.” I smirked, loving our playful interaction. But it ended all too quickly, when Mya’s smile slipped away.
“You don’t think they’re looking at us wondering what someone like you is doing here with someone like me?”
“I don’t give a shit what they think, and you shouldn’t either.”
“It’s easy for you to say,” she threw back and I tugged my hair in frustration. Mya was a complicated girl. Walls so high and reinforced I wasn’t ever sure I’d get through them. But then, sometimes, she’d give me a look that said, ‘don’t give up’.
“Come on, Hernandez, work with me here. I won’t let them bother me, if you don’t let them bother you. Or I could go over there and ask them what the fuck their problem is?” I went to get up, but Mya’s hand snagged my wrist over the table.
“No,” she rushed out. “Don’t, please.”
“So you’ll ignore them?”
“Them who?” Her voice dripped sarcasm but I’d take it.
“That’s my girl,” I said, grinning like the damn Cheshire cat. Mya’s eyes widened in surprise at my slip of the tongue.
If only she knew the truth. Knew that it wasn’t a slip of the tongue at all. It was a test. A promise of things to come. Because one day, Mya Hernandez would be mine.
She just didn’t know it yet.
Chapter Five
Mya
Every Tuesday without fail, I spoke to Mom. Sometimes we’d speak for hours, other times it was shorter, and if she got upset, we usually ended the call and promised to talk again soon. But today, the first time in almost twelve weeks, she didn’t pick up.
“Come on, Mama,” I muttered, hitting call again. It rang out, the drone of the dial tone echoing through my mind. “Aunt C, have you heard from Mama today?”
She appeared in the door. “She texted me a couple of days ago. She isn’t answering?” Aunt Ciara eyed the phone in my hand.
“No. It’s Tuesday. We always talk on Tuesdays.” Panic flooded me. “What if something happ—”
“Breathe, Mya. Breathe.” My aunt hurried to my side. “I’m sure it’s nothing.”
Just then, my cell phone blared to life. “See, nothing to worry about.”
“Mama?”
“Mya, mi pequeña. I’m sorry I missed your call. I was washing my hair and didn’t hear my cell.”
“That’s okay.” Relief sank into my bones. Aunt Ciara pressed a kiss to my head before leaving me alone. “How are you?”
“You know how it is, baby. Gotta keep working.”
I stiffened. “I know, Mama.”
“But enough about me, tell me all about you. How is school? Did you pick a college yet?”
“I’m still weighing up my options, but my guidance counselor is going to help me before school gets out for the holidays.”
“That’s good, baby, real good. Mi pequeña graduating high school and going off to college. I couldn’t be prouder if I tried.”
“I haven’t been accepted yet, Mama.”
She grunted. “They’d be foolish to turn you down, baby. Always were booksmart.”
“So I was thinking,” I hesitated, bracing myself for her response. “Maybe I could visit over the holidays. Just for a few days?”
“Mya, baby, you know that isn’t a good idea.”
“I haven’t spoken to him. I’ve ignored all his texts, just like I promised. But I miss you. I miss you so much, Mama. And Shona and the girls.”
“He’s still calling you?”
“Texts mainly.”
“I don’t like it, Mya. I don’t like it at all. Maybe I should talk to Keelan and—”
“No, Mama, you can’t. You promised,” I cried, fear edging into my voice.
“Ssh, baby. You’re right, that wouldn’t end well. But I wish you’d change your number. Be done with him once and for all.”
“I am done. It’s over.” My chest cracked.
Silence followed.
A beat.
Another.
Until Mom let out a heavy sigh. “I didn’t want to tell you, but you should know, Jermaine dropped out of school.”
“No!”
School was his last hope. The one place he had people anchoring him to something more than a life of drugs, gangs, and an early grave.
Not the only thing. I shut down the little voice. I’d tried… and failed. Walking away from Jermaine was the hardest thing I’d ever done, but it wasn’t only about him anymore. It was about me too. My life, my dreams.
My safety.
“He’s running for Diaz officially.”
That’s what Shona must have called to tell me. Jermaine was in deep with Diaz and his crew now.
Guilt snaked through me. When I’d left, Jermaine was still in school. He still had a chance. But if he’d initiated into Diaz’s crew, there would be no easy way out now. Tears pooled in my eyes as I remembered our last conversation, right before Mom shipped me off to Rixon.
“Fuck, Mya, baby, you weren’t supposed to be there… you weren’t supposed to get hurt.” He tried to cradle my face, but I jerked back, shielding my bruised cheek with my hand.
“Don’t touch me,” I ground out shakily, pain radiating from various parts of my body.
“So stop,” I cried. “Walk away before it’s too late. Keelan said he’d give you a job.”
“Glass collecting at the bar?” He scoffed. “I can’t be collecting no glasses, Mya. I got a rep to protect.”
“Do it for me, J; for us. I can’t stand by and watch you do this to yourself no more. Look at yourself. Look at me. What happens next time it goes wrong? What happens when it’s not someone’s fist but a bat or… gun.”
“Nah, baby. This isn’t shit, just a little warning.”
“A little warning?” I gasped, the air leaving my lungs on a painful breath. “They held me down while they beat you. And then they…”
* * *
“Mya, mi pequeña?” Mom’s voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I swiped at my eyes, trying to compose myself.
“I’m still here.” I forced the memories back into their box, locking it tightly. “Think about the holidays, okay, Mama? I could just come for a couple of days and stay at the house. Shona could visit. Or maybe you could come here?”
“You know I can’t, baby.” Sadness lingered in her voice.
“Aunt Ciara wouldn’t mind. In fact, I’m sure she’d love to see—”
“Mya, enough. Keelan’s calling me on the other line, I gotta go, baby. But be safe, okay? And we’ll talk soon. I love you, Mya.”
“Love you too, Mama.” Swallowing down the dejection, I ended the call and clutched my cell phone to my chest.
Everything was a mess. All because I fell in love with the wrong boy. People said all you needed was love. But they were wrong.
So wrong.
Love wasn’t always enough to save somebody. Two people could love one another with everything that they were and it might still not be enough to make their relationship work.
Jermaine Kingston had taken my heart and promised to keep it safe. But he’d failed me. And something told me if I gave Asher a chance, he’d also hurt me. Even if he didn’t mean to.
My heart had been shattered once.
I wasn’t sure it would survive another heartbreak.
“There you are,” Felicity said on Friday morning as I headed into the building. “I was beginning to think you were avoiding me.”
“I just needed some space.”
“Anything I can help with because if Asher is—”
“It’s not Asher,” I said a little too quickly. “I guess I’m just missing home, what with it almost being the holidays.”
“Are you going to see your mom?”
“I want to, but she doesn’t want me to go back.”
“Because of Jermaine?”
Nodding, I pulled off my hat and stuffed it in my backpack. “She’s worried I’ll fall back into old habits.”
“But you wouldn’t, right?”
“Me and Jermaine are over, but feelings don’t just switch off, Flick. I can’t say for sure how I’d act again if I saw him. I found out he dropped out of school.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. It just means he’s in even deeper with the crew now. I guess I’d hoped me leaving would…” I trailed off, spotting Asher and the guys across the hall.
“We’ll talk later.” She gave my hand a little squeeze, smiling as Jason stalked toward her.
“Hey.” He kissed her deeply, pressing her back against the lockers.
“Mya,” Cameron said. “How’s things?”
“Good thanks. You?”
“Can’t complain.”
“Asher,” I said, noticing he’d made no effort to say hello.
“Hey.” He barely looked at me.
Felicity and Jason finally broke away from one another and she shot me a ‘what’s all that about’ look. I shrugged.
“Felicity said you didn’t ride in with her again.” Jason looked at me.
“She did, did she?”
My friend’s gaze went wide, guilt swirling in her hazel eyes. “I… oops.”
“It’s no big deal.”
“The weather is getting bad out there. You can’t trust the school bus and I don’t like the idea of you walking all that way alone.”
“I… appreciate your concern.” This was too fucking weird. “But I’m a big girl, I can handle myself.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it.” Jason chuckled. “But it’s worrying my girl, so do me a solid and either ride with her or find another ride.”
“Jason!” Felicity shrieked, mouthing a silent apology at me.
“Are we hanging at yours tonight?” Jason asked Asher.
“I guess,” he grumbled.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Nothing.” He pasted on an easy smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Schools almost out for the holidays and you’re acting like a little bitch.”
“You know what? Fuck you, Jase. I’m out of here.” Asher spun on his heel and stormed off down the hall.
“Nice, man, real nice.” Cameron side-eyed Jason who frowned.
“Am I missing something? Because I asked a simple question.”
“Jason,” Felicity pressed a hand against his chest. “Go easy on him. It’s been a rough few weeks and I think he was hurt we didn’t invite him the other night.”
“Hmm, you didn’t invite me either,” I spoke up.
“Well, yeah,” Felicity said. “We didn’t want you to think we were trying to push the two of you together.”
“I get it and honestly I really don’t care.” I did, a little bit. But I wouldn’t ever admit that to them. “But Asher cares. He’s gone from losing his two best friends and the girl he wanted, so yeah, cut him some slack.”
Jason growled while Felicity gasped. It was Cameron who spoke though. “You really think he’s upset?”
“He’s upset about something, and my money is on the fact he feels left out.”
“But we haven’t—”
“If you’re going to try and tell yourself you haven’t excluded him, you’re lying to yourself. And I get it, I do. But look at it through his eyes.”
The three of them stared at me like I’d grown a second head. “Okay, good talk. I’ll see you at lunch?” I asked Felicity, who nodded, her mouth still hanging open.
I hadn’t meant to defend Asher but something about the dejection etched into his expression had hit me right in the chest. He was lost all of a sudden, trying to find his new place in the world. Something I could empathize with.
But I didn’t want to have common ground with the football player with a dangerous smile. Because common ground connected us. I was pretty sure he already felt it. But if he knew I also felt it, he’d use it against me.
And I wasn’t sure I could resist his attack forever.
I didn’t purposefully search him out, but when I entered the library where I’d been hiding out for the last couple of days, there he was.
“Fancy seeing you here,” I whispered, dropping into the seat beside him.
“Needed some space and this seemed like a good bet.”
I smothered a laugh.
“What’s funny?” his eyes slid to mine in question.
“Where do you think I’ve been hiding the last two days?”
“Here?”
I nodded.
“No shit. Guess we’re more alike than you give us credit for.”
We sat there, in a secluded corner of the library, in comfortable silence. After a few minutes, I pulled out my jotter and began doodling.
“What are you doing?” Asher leaned over, his head almost touching mine as he watched me sketch.
“Nothing really. I just find it soothing.”
“You’re an artist?”
“God, no. Hailee is an artist. I just like to doodle.”
“It’s cool,” he said. “Reminds me of street art. You know, the kind kids graffiti on abandoned buildings and road signs?”
My pulse ratcheted. “I guess.”
“He
taught you, didn’t he?” he asked quietly.
My eyes lifted. “How do you do that? Know what I’m thinking without me even speaking?”
“I know you, Mya, even if you think I don’t.”
The air around us crackled, thick and heavy and alive.
“Asher, I...” I swallowed over the lump in my throat.
“What’s his name?”
“Jermaine,” I croaked.
“Is it over between you and him?”
I nodded.
“Do you still love him?”
“I... yes.” A pained sigh rolled off my lips. “I think a part of me will always love him.”
“But you’re not in love with him?”
“N- no.”
Asher inched closer; so close I could feel the warmth of his breath. “I can work with that.”
His hand slid along my neck, teasing my curls. My head knew it was a bad idea; was silently screaming at me to stop him. But my heart, my battered bruised heart, craved the attention.
Craved his attention.
Asher’s lips hovered over mine, my heart crashing in my chest like a heavy base. Ba-boom. Ba-boom. Ba-boom.
“I can’t wait to taste you, Mya.” His voice was thick with lust, his words laced with intention.
“Asher,” my fingers curled into his hoodie. “Kiss—”
“Mr. Bennet,” Mrs. Hegarty, the librarian boomed. “This is a library, not your own personal flirt shack.”
He sank back in the chair, pinching the bridge of his nose as he expelled a long breath.
“Ms. Hernandez, I am most surprised,” she said, as if she didn’t notice it was me as she approached us.
“Sorry, Mrs. Hegarty. It won’t happen again.”
“Yeah, sorry, Mrs. H. It was my fault, not Mya’s.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it, Mr. Bennet. Now if you’re not in here to study...” Her unamused gaze flitted to the doors behind us.
“We’ll be out of your hair in a minute.”
“Good.” She spun on her heel and disappeared behind the stacks.
“Well, that was not how I saw that going,” Asher said but I was too fixated on the librarian’s words.
“What did she mean? Your own personal flirt shack?”