by L A Cotton
“Asher,” she breathed, pressing her forehead closer to mine.
“I won’t hurt you, I promise.” But you might destroy me. Because although I’d promised her I wouldn’t fall in love with her, I could already feel myself doing exactly that. It was a small price to pay though, if it meant having her in my life.
Mya fisted my t-shirt, fighting whatever battle raged inside her. Maybe it was her lingering feelings for her ex, or maybe it was the fact he’d hurt her and she didn’t want to trust another guy so soon. Whatever it was, I wanted to prove her wrong, to show her nothing else mattered except the way we made each other feel.
This time when I brushed my lips over hers, Mya didn’t resist. She pulled me closer, anchoring us together, deepening the kiss. Our tongues tangled in soft lazy licks, setting my body on fire. My hands glided down her spine, finding her perfect ass, pressing her into my rock-hard dick.
“See what you do to me,” I said against her swollen lips. “See how much I want you.”
Mya whimpered, rubbing herself on me, letting me rock into her at the perfect angle. I wanted to strip her down and take her right here on the couch, but I knew she wasn’t ready. She was only just getting her head around us being kissing friends.
“Come on,” I said, pulling away, smirking at how flushed and breathless she was. Leading her back up to the first floor, we walked in comfortable silence upstairs to my bedroom. “At least I can walk in a straight line tonight,” I joked.
“I should probably text my aunt,” she said.
“What will you tell her?”
“That I’m staying with the girls.”
I gave her a curt nod. I didn’t expect her to tell her aunt the truth, but it still stung knowing I was her dirty little secret.
“It’s just easier this way, Asher,” Mya added, sensing my change in mood.
“It’s all good,” I said around an easy smile as we entered my room. “At least your aunt gives a shit what you’re doing and who you’re with.”
My dad hadn’t cared in a long time. As long as I wasn’t tarnishing his reputation, he’d pretty much washed his hands of me. Most kids eagerly awaited the day their parents went out of town and left them home alone, but I’d been used to my own company since ninth grade.
“You want a t-shirt to sleep in?”
“I… uh…” Mya lowered her eyes, toying with the hem of her shirt. “I guess.”
With a quiet chuckle, I went over to the dresser and pulled out a clean Raiders jersey.
“Oh, hell no, I’m not wearing that.” Her nose scrunched up in disgust.
“Please.” I stuck out my bottom lip. “For me?”
“Asher, come on… isn’t there some kind of jersey ritual where you should only let your girl wear your number?”
“That’s a thing?” I teased. “I never knew.”
“I’d rather sleep naked than wear that thing.”
“Really? Because that can be arranged.”
Shaking her head, Mya fought a smile. “Fine, give it here.”
“The bathroom’s through there.” I pointed to the door.
“Oh, I remember.” She gave me a bemused look as she stalked past me, my jersey in a death grip. “I hope you cleaned up after last night,” her voice drifted back to me and I smothered a laugh.
While Mya got changed, I stripped out of my clothes and dumped them on the chair. I didn’t expect to turn around and see her standing in the doorway watching me through hooded eyes. “See something you like?” My brow quirked up as I patted my abs.
Heat blazed in her eyes as she let her gaze run down my body. “Nice… tattoo.” She grinned.
I stepped toward her. “We both know you weren’t looking at my tattoo, Hernandez.” It was my turn to let my eyes trace over her body. “Fuck, you look good in my jersey.” It clung to her curves, hinting at her killer body underneath.
“At least it covers my ass,” she shot back, fingering the hem which landed almost at her knees.
“I should probably check.” I spun a finger and mouthed, “twirl.”
She rolled her eyes. “You wish.”
Oh how I did.
“You’re not sleeping like that, are you?”
“I always sleep like this,” I said. “But if you think you can’t resist touching me, I can put something on.”
“I…” Mya swallowed. “I think I’m capable of resisting.”
“Wanna bet?”
“I’m beginning to think this was a very bad idea.” Mya got that caught in the headlights look again. Before she could bolt, I hooked a hand around her waist and pulled her closer.
“I’ll behave, I promise.” Ducking my head, I kissed the tip of her nose. “Thank you for agreeing to stay with me.”
I wouldn’t tell her, but it meant a lot she’d agreed to stay. Not only because I wanted her something fierce, but because it got lonely sleeping in an empty house day in, day out.
“Just don’t get too used to it,” she replied, eyes dancing with amusement. “It’s one night.”
“Better make the most of it then.” Without giving her any warning, I bent down, slid my arm under Mya’s knees and scooped her up.
“Asher, what the hell?” she shrieked, clinging onto me. I walked us over to the bed and dropped her down on the mattress, her laughter filling my room.
“I couldn’t resist. You look good on my bed.” Almost too good. Especially wearing my number. Her eyes fell to my black boxer briefs and I rose a brow at how her gaze lingered on the outline of my dick.
“You’re making it really hard for me,” I warned her, smirking at my double entendre.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Innocence edged into her expression, but I knew better than to be fooled by her attempt at demure.
Mya was anything but innocent.
Kneeling on the bed, I crawled toward her, wrapping a hand around one of her ankles. Her skin was so soft and smooth. I wanted to acquaint myself with every inch of her body. My palm glided up her leg, brushing her inner thigh. Mya’s eyes flared, her breath catching.
“Asher…”
“One day,” I said huskily. “You’ll be moaning my name.”
“You’re so full of it.”
“Oh, you think?”
This is what I needed from Mya. The banter, the games, and teasing. She made it so easy and she gave as good as she got. And I fucking loved it.
My fingers traced the contour of her leg again, inching higher and higher, disappearing beneath the blue and white material.
“Asher.” It was a warning this time. “I didn’t agree to this.”
“Kissing friends only, right? So what about if I kiss you right...” Dipping my head, I ran my tongue over her warm skin, “here.”
I didn’t kiss her panties, but I did let my mouth linger there enough that her hand shot out and grabbed my shoulder. “You’re not playing fair.”
“No?” I looked along the line of her body, meeting her eyes, blowing soft puffs of air against her. Mya stifled a moan, her legs tensing either side of my head.
I wanted nothing more than to hook the lacy material to the side and taste her, but I wouldn’t, not without her explicit permission. Lifting myself up, I moved over her, bringing my eyes level with hers. “Hi,” I said.
“Hi.” Mya smiled, her eyes sparkling with desire.
“I’m not going to kiss you there, not yet, not until you beg me.”
“Asher...” it came out a pained groan.
“Yeah, Hernandez?”
“I’ve been thinking about our situation.”
“Situation, is that what we’re calling it?”
“Yeah, and I think kissing is allowed. Maybe some clothed groping.”
“So I can do this.” I smoothed my hand up her stomach, over the jersey, and rested it against the swell of her tits. “And you’re not going to knee me in the balls?”
“Your balls are safe.” She laughed. “I meant what I said though. We need to
take this slow. Friends... with kissing benefits.”
“Don’t forget the clothed groping.”
“That too.” Mya leaned up, kissing me slow and deep, her tongue exploring every inch of my mouth. My dick hardened, nudging up against her.
“Shit, that feels good,” I rasped, pretty certain that if I created enough friction, I could get us both off. I broke the kiss, grinding my hips, watching her eyes flutter closed. “What about this? Is this okay?”
“Hmm-mm,” she murmured, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, stopping herself from saying whatever was on her mind.
“And this?” I dipped a hand between us, rubbing her through her damp panties.
“Asher, don’t...”
“Don’t what, Mya?”
“Don’t stop,” she panted the words, letting her head fall back as my fingers continued moving over her.
“Let me touch you. I need to touch you.” I was so fucking hard for her. I wanted to feel how wet she was, slide my fingers into her and make her come.
“N- no.” Her voice quivered, her body trembled. “Not yet.”
What the hell did that mean?
Not yet as in right now?
Or not yet as in a week... a month... never?
I withdrew my hand, stroking the side of her neck as I kissed her senseless. It was messy, all teeth and tongue and sweet desperation. But I couldn’t get enough of her.
Mya hitched her legs around my waist, letting me press deeper into her. If it wasn’t for the thin material of my boxers and her panties, I’d be buried deep inside her. But as it was, I could almost imagine it.
“One day,” I repeated the words over and over. Against her mouth, her damp skin, as I rocked harder and faster, driving us both toward the edge.
“It feels...” Mya took a shuddering breath.
“I know.” It shouldn’t have felt so good, but it did. And we still had a layer of clothes between us.
“Oh God,” she cried, “More, I need more.” Mya grabbed my hand and pushed it between us. I took the hint, rubbing her again but she whispered, “Touch me, Asher.”
I jerked back, staring down at her with surprise. “Yeah?”
She nodded, capturing my lips again, kissing me like she was drowning and I was the last source of air.
Tentatively, I dipped one finger inside her panties. Mya let out a soft moan, her nails digging into my shoulder. I added another finger, letting them slide between her wetness and push inside her.
“Is this okay?”
Suppressing another moan, Mya nodded. My thumb found her clit, rubbing slow torturous circles. “God, that’s…” The words stuck in her throat as her body began to shudder. “Asher…”
“I’ve got you, Mya.” I pressed my fingers deeper, kissing her neck, sucking the soft skin between my teeth. My other hand slid up her stomach, underneath the jersey this time. I found the shell of her bra and yanked it down, teasing her nipple with my fingers.
“Ah, God,” she cried. “I’m going to…” Mya buried her face into my shoulder as she shattered around my fingers. Slowing my pace, I drew out her orgasm, holding her while she rode the waves of pleasure.
“You okay?” I asked, slowly detangling her from my chest.
“I’m good.” She smiled up at me, but I saw the hesitation there. Mya was already second guessing what had just gone down between us. But I didn’t want her to regret it. I didn’t want her to regret a single second with me.
“Come here.” Hooking an arm around her waist, I pulled her into me, her back to my chest.
“What are you doing?”
“Spooning. Friends can spoon, can’t they?” My hand rested against her stomach as I breathed her in.
“Yeah,” she chuckled softly. “Friends can spoon.”
“Night, Mya.”
“Night, Asher.”
Silence enveloped us and it wasn’t long before Mya’s breathing evened out. I was tired too, but I didn’t want to sleep. Not yet. I wanted to soak up her being here, in my arms. She might have needed the friend label for now, but as I lay there, listening to her little snores, I made a silent promise to myself.
One day Mya would call me more than just ‘friend’.
I woke to an empty bed. Limbs heavy with the lingering trace of sleep, I pushed up onto one elbow. “Mya?”
Nothing.
Rolling over, I fumbled on the nightstand and grabbed my cell phone. My heart sank at the text message on the screen.
* * *
Mya: Sorry I bailed. Needed to get back… I’ll see you soon though xo
* * *
Me: You ran.
* * *
Mya: I didn’t, I promise. I just… I need time. You said you could give that to me.
* * *
I wanted to tell her to stop fighting it, but I didn’t want to push her away. It was bad enough she’d snuck out on me this morning.
* * *
Me: I won’t let you run, Mya…
* * *
Mya: I’ll see you soon, okay?
* * *
Me: Yeah, whatever.
* * *
I threw my cell down on the bed and flopped back against the pillows. Last night had felt like a breakthrough. Mya had finally let down her walls enough for me to clamber over the side. But I should have known it was only temporary. She was too hung up on her ex, on all the reasons we couldn’t work. I didn’t want to be second string… not again.
I’d watched Flick fall hopelessly in love with my best friend. The first girl I’d ever felt something real for, even though I’d known any hope of us was doomed from the start. Mya was different though. Sure, there were obstacles but nothing worth having came easy.
I was prepared to fight for her.
But I couldn’t be the only one willing to go all in.
Chapter Eleven
Mya
I ran.
Again.
This time I wasn’t running away from people who had the power to hurt me though. I was running from the one person who wanted to heal me.
Waking up wrapped in Asher’s arms had been a harsh reality check. I couldn’t keep running; it was time to move on. To put the past behind me and get closure on that part of my life. The only catch was I knew it meant I had to go home.
“I’ve been thinking,” I said as Aunt Ciara plated up bacon and eggs. “I want to go home for Christmas.”
She clucked her tongue. “Mya, you know that’s not—”
“Hear me out, okay?” I grabbed the glass of juice and took a big swallow. “I’m done with Jermaine, with that life. But I need closure, Auntie. I need him to know it’s over, once and for all.”
“Your mama isn’t going to like it.”
“She’ll understand. I need to go back and make things right.” Because while Jermaine had been the reason I’d run, I didn’t doubt he thought I’d betrayed him.
After all, I had just up and left. If our roles were reversed, I’d want answers too.
“I’d ask you to come but...”
“Ain’t never going to step foot in that place again, and neither should you, girl. You’re free of that life now.” Her expression softened, eyes glazed with unshed tears. “I know you think you have to do this, Mya, but you don’t owe that boy nothing.”
She was wrong though. I might not have owed it to him, but I did owe it to myself to do this.
Jermaine had once been everything to me. Best friend. Protector. Lover. You didn’t just get over the kind of history we shared. And if I was truly going to give Asher a chance, give anyone else a chance, I needed to put Jermaine in the past once and for all.
First stop: getting a new cell phone number. Second stop: visiting Mom and saying a proper goodbye to my friends.
“This isn’t about him, Aunt C. It’s about me. My life is here now. But if I’m going to truly move on, I need to do this.”
“Your mama will probably already have plans with Keelan.”
“I know. I was
thinking I’d go as soon as possible. That way I can avoid their plans and be here with you on Christmas Day.”
Mom and Keelan’s relationship was complicated. He’d never lived with us, but he’d had my mom eating out of the palm of his hand for as long as I could remember. They met when she started working at his club, The Diamond. Everyone in our neighborhood knew Keelan King. He’d once ruled the streets until he’d finally moved into more legitimate businesses. He still ruled his club with an iron fist. No gang activity. No drugs. And no touching his dancers.
For a neighborhood in Badlands, Mom could have ended up with much worse.
But I still didn’t like him. I didn’t like the way he held so much power over her. Money talked though, and it was something we’d never had enough of. Mom liked to think she was his queen, but I saw it for what it was; a man taking advantage of the situation. You didn’t walk away from someone like Keelan; he decided when he was done with you.
“I don’t like it,” Aunt Ciara said. “But I won’t stop you. Just be careful. After what happened before…”
“I’ve got this, I promise.” It was only a couple of days. I’d visit my mom, see my friends, and try to talk to Jermaine before I left. If I called Shona and let her know to keep it on the down-low, there was no reason everyone had to find out I was back unless I wanted them to.
“I’m proud of you, you know?”
“You are?” I asked.
“Damn straight, I am. People think walking away is the easy way out but it’s the other way around. Staying is easy, it’s walking away that’s hard. I know you care deeply for that boy but sometimes love isn’t enough.”
She didn’t need to tell me that.
It wasn’t enough for Keelan to make a real commitment to Mom, and it hadn’t been enough to make Jermaine make better life choices. It wasn’t enough for Mr. Bennet to respect his son’s hopes and dreams, and it wasn’t enough to make me stand by and watch Jermaine throw away his life.