by L A Cotton
“You’re okay I guess.” I smothered the laughter building.
“Say it, Mya. Admit you like me.”
“You really need to hear me say it?” He’d pulled me into his bubble and I couldn’t deny him even if I’d wanted to.
He gave me a small nod, his eyes pleading with me.
“I like you.” It was a whisper, meant only for his ears. But in true Asher Bennet fashion, he threw his head back and roared, “She likes me. Mya Hernandez likes me.”
Laughter exploded all around us, our friends infected with his excitement.
“You’re crazy,” I said, fisting his jacket, coaxing him to come back to me.
“Yeah, you’re right, I am. I’m crazy for you.” He attacked my mouth with his, kissing me clumsily. Greedily. Pushing his tongue into my mouth and tangling it with my own.
This didn’t feel like going slow. It felt like falling recklessly and hopelessly into each other, giving no thought to how hard we might crash.
“Asher,” his name was a breathless whisper as I tried to hold onto my last shred of defenses against him.
But it was futile.
Asher was my weakness.
“What’s got you so happy?” Aunt Ciara eyed me across the table the next morning.
“Nothing,” I said, averting my eyes.
“Don’t be thinking I’m some fool. You’ve got that young and in love look. Please tell me you didn’t fall for that athlete’s charm?”
“Asher, Auntie, his name is Asher.”
“I don’t need to be knowing his name. He’s bad news and I thought you were smarter than this, my girl.”
“Auntie, please.” Guilt coiled around my heart. I didn’t want to disappoint her. Not when she was one of the last people left in my life who cared.
My visit home had been a disaster in more ways than one. My mom had barely been around, tied up at The Diamond with work. She’d invited me to hang out there with her, but I couldn’t bring myself to be in that place. To see her draped over Keelan, waiting on his every need, or even worse up on stage dancing for him and his friends.
A painful shudder worked through me.
When I’d given her my new cell phone number, she’d hugged me tight and told me it was the right thing. That she was real relieved I was finally letting go of Jermaine and my life in Fallowfield Heights.
A life that included her.
“Now you’re frowning like your whole world just ended. What is going on with you, Mya?”
“Mama just let me walk away.” I hadn’t said much about my trip and Aunt Ciara hadn’t asked. She knew how fickle her sister could be. It was one of the reasons she’d barely visited us when I was younger.
“Because she knows you’ll have a better life, better opportunities out of that place.”
“Yeah, but she’s my mother. I thought she’d at least seem sad.”
“Mya, she loves you something fierce, but she’s also different to you and me. Sofia needs to feel needed. She needs the validation a man’s love gives her. After your daddy left...” Aunt Ciara hesitated.
My father was never around. He left before I was even born. It had taken a while to accept I was never going to know him, but I had made peace with it a long time ago.
“He broke something inside her,” she went on. “Something that Keelan fixed. He might not be who you or I would choose for her, but he’s always provided. He kept a roof over your head and food on the table.”
“I know,” I whispered.
But it came at a price. And that price was her love. He’d demanded it to its fullest. And somewhere along the line, I had to compete for her attention.
Until somewhere along the line, I stopped.
“Now tell me about this Bennet boy.”
“Really?” My face lit up and part of me hated how much I’d already let Asher get under my skin. “You want to know?”
She clucked her tongue. “If it puts a smile on your face, I suppose I can listen for five minutes. But don’t get the wrong idea, Mya. I still think this is a bad idea. This town is more backward than you think. It won’t easily accept one of its football stars going out with one of us.”
“There is no them and us, Auntie.”
Her brows pinched and I knew she saw right through me. Because while I so wanted to believe my own words, part of me knew she was right. But it was too late now. Asher wouldn’t let me run anymore.
And I didn’t want to.
I wanted to do what I did best for something I wanted; for the people I cared about.
Fight.
“Are you going to get Asher a gift?”
Eight little words I never expected to hear. But I should have known Felicity would already be planning our wedding. She hadn’t stopped grinning ever since me and Asher entered her living room together, two days ago. Now it was the day before Christmas Eve and she was asking me about gifts.
“No, I’m not getting him anything. We’re not—”
“Oh my god,” she groaned. “If you say you’re not together one more time, I will explode. Have you seen the two of you? You can barely keep your hands off one another.” A smirk tugged at the corner of her mouth.
“We’re not that bad.”
“Try telling that to someone who’ll listen. You’ve got it bad, girl. Almost as bad as Asher.”
“I just... crap, it wasn’t supposed to happen this fast.”
She was right.
Me and Asher had been inseparable for the last forty-eight hours. It was only when Flick insisted I help her with some last-minute shopping, and Asher’s mom needed his help with preparations for the Christmas Eve party they were hosting, that we’d actually left each other’s sides.
“You should get him something.”
“Don’t you think it’s a little soon for gifts? We’re not even official.”
Flick gave me a pointed a look as she inspected some wallets in the men’s section. “Do you plan on hooking up with other guys?”
“You know I don’t.” I rolled my eyes.
I hadn’t planned on hooking up with any guys when I’d moved in with my aunt. But here I was, Asher Bennet’s unofficial girl.
“Asher made it pretty clear he only has eyes for you.” Felicity cut through my reverie. “So label or no label, you’re together. I don’t know what the big deal is. This is a good thing, Mya. That boy is crazy about you.” She traded one wallet for another. “You’re coming tomorrow, right? To the party at the Bennets’?”
“I don’t know.” Asher had said he wanted me there but after everything he’d told me about his dad, I wasn’t sure it was a good idea.
“You have to come. We’re all going. It would mean a lot to Asher if you were there.”
My heart clenched. I wanted to be there for him, I did. But I didn’t want to make things any worse for him.
“You’re worried his parents won’t approve?” Flick lowered her voice.
“If people can’t accept me because of where I come from or the color of my skin that’s on them,” I replied, the half-truth souring on my tongue. “I just don’t want...” Pressing my lips together, I swallowed Asher’s secret. The one I’d promised not to repeat.
“You’re acting strange.” Felicity frowned at me.
“It’s all right for you,” I deflected. “Jason’s family all love you.”
“And Mr. and Mrs. Bennet will love you too. You just have to give them a chance to see how good you are for their son.”
I pretended to look at some nearby sweaters, letting my fingers run over the soft material.
“We all know something is going on with Asher,” Flick came up behind me. “I know Jason talked to you about being there for him.”
“That’s not what this is,” I rushed out, glancing back at her.
“Mya, I would never think that. All I’m trying to say is, if you ever need to talk, about anything, I’m here.”
“Thanks, I appreciate it.”
She smiled, mischief spa
rkling in her eyes. “Now about his gift. I have an idea.”
I followed Felicity as she weaved through the racks like a girl on a mission. But we never reached our destination because she stopped in her tracks, anger rolling off her.
My eyes immediately found them; a group of girls from school, talking in hushed whispers, judgmental gazes narrowed in our direction.
“We should probably go,” Flick said, her words clipped, but one of their voices drifted over to me.
“Don’t know what he sees in her. I mean he could do so much better than her.”
The words reverberated inside me, and something snapped. Before I knew what I was doing, I marched over to them. “Do you have a problem?” My brow went up and I folded my arms over my chest. But I was met with a wall of icy resistance.
“So you can say it behind my back,” I scoffed, “but you won’t say it to my face?”
“Mya.” Felicity grabbed my hand. “Come on, they’re not worth it.”
“You’re right, they’re not.” My fists clenched at my sides as I glared at the girl who had spoken loud enough for me to hear. Back in Fallowfield Heights, if someone dissed you like that, you called them out on it, and eight out of ten times it usually ended up getting physical. But this wasn’t my old neighborhood and the last thing I wanted to do was live up to the stereotype they had of me.
It almost killed me to walk away, even if Felicity was right. They weren’t worth it. Vicious gossip was nothing new. I’d been on the receiving end of whispers and disapproving looks since I arrived in Rixon and became a member of the four percent club.
“Ignore her,” Felicity said as she ushered me out of the store. “Kellie Ginly is just a jealous bitch.”
“She’s on the gymnastic team, right?”
Flick nodded. I’d heard the stories. Knew all about Asher’s preference for flexible gymnasts who all looked like carbon copies of one another. Blonde. Big boobs. Tanned legs that went on for miles.
Past preference, I reminded myself.
“Asher hasn’t touched any of them in months,” she reassured me.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“Sure it does. You don’t always have to act so tough around me, you know. You’re one of my best friends, Mya.”
“I just hate it, you know? I left Fallowfield Heights because I knew Jermaine was only going to drag me down with him. But being here, the constant stares and whispers; it’s like a permanent reminder of the very thing I’m trying to escape.”
“You can’t let them win. The people who matter, who know you, don’t care about any of that. Asher doesn’t care about any of that. Besides, where’s the girl who told me to stand up for my man?”
“Oh she’s in here somewhere,” I said.
“Well, time to dig deep and find her because the Ginleys are good friends with Mr. Bennet which means Kellie will most probably be there tomorrow night. And if you don’t claim Asher, she’ll have no problem stepping into the role for you.”
My chest tightened as I imagined her trying to make a move on Asher.
“Now I’m certain I should avoid the party.”
“What?” Felicity gawked at me. “Why the hell would you say that? Didn’t you hear anything I just said?”
“Oh I heard you all right,” I ground out unable to think about anything but how hard I’d beat her ass if she so much as looked at Asher tomorrow night.
Because official or not, he was mine.
Just like I was his.
Chapter Sixteen
Asher
The house looked like Buddy the Elf had paid an overnight visit, if Buddy used high end ornaments and garlands to adorn every shelf and flat surface.
“What do you think?” Mom asked, putting the final touches on the main tree. There were at least another three scattered around the house, but this one… this was the showstopper.
“It looks great, Mom.” I grimaced.
“Gosh, just think, this is the last Christmas you’ll be here.” Her voice cracked and I felt like an absolute shit. Me and Dad were all Mom had, and she was right, I was leaving next fall.
“Don’t get upset. I’ll still visit. We’ll still celebrate the holidays together.”
“You’re a good boy, Asher.” She stepped back to admire her handiwork, wrapping her arm around me. “Thank you for doing this.”
“Mom, come on...”
“No, Son. I know this isn’t easy on you and I know you don’t understand why I tolerate your father. But he’s all I have.”
“Hey,” I gave her an easy smile despite the knot in my stomach, “let’s not do this now. It’s your big night. Your guests will be arriving soon.”
“How did I get so lucky with you, my sweet boy?” She rested her head on my shoulder as we both stood there staring at a Christmas tree so perfectly dressed it was impossible to see the imperfections.
Much like our family.
To the outside world we had it all. Money. The big house with the ostentatious yard. A successful career that saw my parents rub shoulders with celebrities and folks so rich it made us look dirt poor. But it was all a front. The shiny perfect life hiding a dark truth.
“Is your friend still joining us?”
Earlier, I’d caved and told Mom all about Mya after she caught me repeatedly checking my cell phone. I’d hesitated at first, but after the disastrous dinner the other day, I needed to have her in my corner.
“I hope so.”
“If she’s even half as special as you say then I’m sure she’ll be here.”
My eyes flicked to the front door. Guests would be arriving any second and within the next hour, our house would become the who’s who of Rixon.
The doorbell rang and Mom clutched her heart, startled. “Goodness, it’s showtime.”
Showtime.
The word echoed through my skull almost as familiar as my own name. She’d said both to me enough growing up.
Time to put on a show.
It’s showtime, my sweet boy.
Let’s take our places.
The script was our lives, our house the stage, and we always performed to our best. But lately, the cracks had begun to show. Mom was more emotional, and I felt myself fall further and further into the black cavernous pit inside me.
“Clark, Karen, so good to see you both.” Mom pulled Cam’s mom into her arms. “Gosh, you look radiant.”
“I feel good, thank you, Julia.”
“And Xander,” Mom craned her head around Karen’s shoulder. “Is he here?”
“Actually, we got a sitter. Thought I’d enjoy a rare evening without a toddler stuck to my side like glue. He’s fast asleep waiting for Santa.”
Mom cast me a wistful glance. “I remember it like it was yesterday. Well, I’m glad you’re both here. Andrew is around here somewhere. Come through, let’s get you both something to drink.”
My friends trailed in behind them, carrying an assortment of gifts and bags.
“What the hell is all that stuff?”
“Ask Felicity,” Jason grumbled. “She insisted on bringing gifts for everyone.”
“It’s polite.”
“It’s overkill, babe.” Jason pecked the end of her nose. “Where’s the bar? I need a drink.”
“Mya?” I asked Flick.
“She’ll be here.”
But she hadn’t rode with them. My gut twisted. Cameron must have noticed my frown because he squeezed my shoulder as he passed me. “She’ll come. Give it time.”
“Jase’s dad isn’t coming?”
Hailee blanched. “He and my mom got into it. They said they’ll be here, but it was bad. I haven’t seen them argue like that in a long while.”
“Rough.” I guess we weren’t the only family hiding secrets. “Looks like we all need a stiff drink then. Follow me.”
The clink of silverware against glass ushered the room into silence. It was standing room only at my mom’s annual Christmas Eve party, the sea of familiar faces all watching
my father as he took center-stage to give what I could only assume would be another stellar performance.
I spotted Coach Hasson and his wife, Sandra. Then Jason’s dad, Kent and Hailee’s mom, Denise. They’d finally made it although I’d noticed they hadn’t spoken a single word to one another since arriving. Apparently, the Bennets were better actors than the Ford-Raines.
But one face was missing.
While my friends stood hand in hand with their girlfriends, I stood alone.
I’d checked my cell at least fifty times, wondering where Mya could have possibly gotten to, not wanting to believe that she’d actually stood me up on what was proving to be one of the shittiest nights of my life.
“Welcome, friends, to our annual Christmas Eve celebration,” Dad started. “I think I say this every year but the chance to spend quality time with those we love is something I don’t take for granted. So thank you for choosing to spend your evening with us. We hope you enjoy the good food, good drinks, and questionable conversation. Merry Christmas, everyone.”
“Merry Christmas.” The crowd’s cheer rattled in my chest and I felt like raising my glass in the air and declaring my own version of Merry Fucking Christmas. Because nothing about watching my friends and their families hang onto every word of my father’s speech felt merry.
“That seemed a little on the short side,” Jason whispered out of the side of his mouth. “I was expecting an ode to Asher; apple of my eye, fruit of my loins type of speech.”
“Fuck you.” I mouthed, cracking a small smile. Dad wasn’t wrong, the drinks were good, the lingering warmth of his whisky running through my veins giving me a slight buzz.
“Son,” a heavy hand landed on my shoulder. “Can I borrow you for a second?”
“Sure thing, Dad.” It’s not like I have a choice.
“I’ll return him to you in one piece,” he said to my friends.
It was a joke.
A fucking joke.
And yet, it felt like a gunshot to the chest.
“What’s up, Dad?” I cleared my throat, aware of the slight slur to my words.
“You know the Ginlys, don’t you?” He guided me over to a tall man with thinning gray hair. “Malcolm, you remember my son, Asher.”