Too Hexy For Her Broom

by Susan Hayes

  “The dryads take care of the gardening, and the housekeeping spells your parents cast still work, though they could use some tweaking. The broom’s gotten as flakey as a box of cereal, and I’m pretty sure the vacuum cleaner has gremlins.”

  She set Snuffy down and ran, laughing, towards the house. She knew this place. The trees, the lawn, even which stairs would creak as she climbed them to reach the front door. The door was as familiar to her as the back of her own hands. After years of being adrift, the return of even some of her memories was a gift, and she wrapped them around her like a warm, comforting blanket, threw open the door and went inside with Snuffy right behind her.

  The log walls had been left exposed, the wood varnished and gleaming softly in the light that streamed through the door and windows. The furniture was comfortable, a little faded, maybe, and it all seemed smaller now, but this was home. The fireplace was made of black and grey river rock, every stone polished smooth, and the kitchen was an eclectic blend of old and new, the woodstove in one corner contrasting to the slightly more modern – but still decades old - appliances that took up the rest of the space.

  “You remember, don’t you?” Snuffy asked. “I did my best to take care of everything and keep it just like it was.”

  She turned and scooped him up, whirling him around in giddy circles. “I remember! Praise the Goddess, I’m starting to remember!”

  “That’s great. Uh… do you want to quit with the spinning? Pretty sure your homecoming shouldn’t include getting puked on.”

  “Oops. Sorry.” She set him down on the kitchen table, a massive slab of wood that probably weighed more than a hundred pounds, big enough to seat a small army. She had so many memories that centred on this table. Meals, projects, homework assignments, and family crafts. She still couldn’t see her parents' faces, but she could hear their voices.

  Grief hit her like a tidal wave, and suddenly the memories weren’t a blessing anymore. They were a reminder of all she’d lost. She was back, but her parents had moved on to the Next Adventure. Goddess, she missed them so much.

  “So, where are they buried? Out back? Does this town have a cemetery? I think I should go pay my respects before I do anything else.”

  Snuffy wrung his hands and waddled back and forth across one edge of the table. “Buried?”

  “Yes, buried. Where are my parents’ graves, Snuffy?”

  The fat little raccoon sighed. “They don’t have graves. No bodies.”

  Dark sparks flew from her fingers and one of the kitchen windows shattered, sending glass flying in all directions. Light bulbs exploded, and every candle she could see caught fire all at once, the flames shooting several feet into the air. She tried to rein in her power, but it was like trying to stop a tidal wave. Nothing she did even slowed it down. “Shit!”

  She focused on the flames, willing them to go out. Instead, another window shattered and the kitchen sink exploded in a geyser of water. Snuffy threw himself off the table in a surprising display of agility and huddled under the heavy slab of wood, his paws over his head. “Try some deep breaths. In through the nose, out through the mouth.”

  She uttered a strangled little laugh. “I’m upset, not delivering a baby.”

  “This is how we used to settle your powers when you were a kid, too. Breathe, Breeze. Just breathe.”

  She wasn’t having any luck calming the shitstorm on her own, so she tried the breathing thing. To her surprise, it worked. Things stopped exploding, which was a definite improvement. Silence fell, and she looked around her in astonishment as the full impact of what she’d done hit home. “Whoa.”

  Snuffy stuck his head out from beneath the table. “Is it safe?”

  She shook her hand and dispelled the last few flickers of magic. “I think so. I can’t believe I did all this.” The kitchen was a disaster area. There was broken glass everywhere, the walls and ceilings had scorch marks, and the floor was submerged beneath the still flowing gush of water from the ruined sink. The place had been fine the whole time she was gone. Five minutes after she walked through the door, it was a wreck. Maybe she should have stayed away.

  “Of course you did this. You see any other witches around here?”

  “Now is not a good time for sarcasm. Now is the time to exercise caution and empathy.”

  Snuffy climbed up a chair leg, huffing and puffing until he fell with a gasp onto the chair. “Need to work on my cardio,” he panted.

  “Not very empathetic, or helpful.” She sat down on another chair, ignoring the water that squished in her shoes.

  “You fix this, I’ll explain. Okay?”

  “Okay.” She gathered her thoughts for a second, and decided she’d call in a little help this time. The way her powers were reacting, if she tried to do this on her own, she’d bring the whole house down on their heads.

  * * *

  “Goddess of Glory, I’ve been under some stress.

  As you can see, I made a big fucking mess,

  If you could help me put things back in place,

  I’ll try to cast spells with a little more grace.”

  * * *

  A jasmine scented wind filled the house, bringing with it sparks of purple and silver that swirled around her, making it impossible to see. Breeze could only wait and hope she hadn’t made things worse. When the eye-dazzling display faded and the wind died, everything was back the way it was. In fact, it looked better.

  “Oooh, so shiny!” Snuffy sounded almost reverential as he tumbled off the chair and rolled a few times before standing up to waddle to the new fridge. It was a monolith of gleaming stainless steel, and the raccoon caressed the shiny surface like he’d found a new deity to worship.

  “If you’re done fondling the appliances, you owe me an explanation, remember? What did you mean, there weren’t any bodies? If there aren’t any bodies, how do we know they’re dead?”

  Snuffy pulled the door of the fridge open and climbed inside, rummaging through the contents as he talked. “They were out boating when a big storm hit out of nowhere. The boat capsized with no survivors.”

  He paused and then muttered, “Oooh, maraschino cherries. Nice!”

  Clearly, her familiar wasn’t good with the whole empathy thing. “Hey, focus! We’re discussing the tragic loss of my parents, not your need for junk food.”

  “I am focusing! If we’re going to talk about this you’re going to need carbs.” He stuck his fuzzy head out of the fridge. “Or did you think I forgot that you’re a comfort eater? How about a banana split with extra fudge sauce?”

  Her stomach rumbled in response. “Good thinking. Hop out of there and I’ll see if I can manage to do this without wrecking the kitchen.”

  “Don’t hurt the shiny!”

  “Your concern is noted.” She focused carefully, a few seconds later the ingredients for two banana splits floated out of the fridge and freezer in a nice, orderly fashion. It didn’t take long to magic up their snack, and once they were both eating, she pointed her spoon at him. “Food was a good idea, but now, I need you to tell me the rest. My memories are coming back, but I don’t recall anything about what happened to my parents, or what came afterwards.”

  “That’s because you weren’t here. There was an investigation, the RCMP and the Coast Guard were involved. Baba Yaga whisked all of you away before they could ask you kids too many questions.”

  Her stomach knotted and her last bite of ice cream turned to ashes in her mouth. “What do you mean, Baba Yaga took all of us? Who else was there?”

  Snuffy chittered in shock. “You don’t remember?”

  This time she managed to rein in her magic before anything exploded, but it wasn’t easy. Her emotions were all over the place and she had the mother of all headaches coming on. Memories whirled inside her head like dandelion fluff in a gale. “I don’t remember, and I hate it. What’s wrong with me?” Her voice cracked on the last word and she had to blink fast to clear away her tears.

  Snuffy scamper
ed across the table to pat her hand. “Nothing is wrong with you. I’m certain your memory was messed with. It would explain why you didn’t start to remember anything until you came back. I’m betting it didn’t bother you that you had so few memories. It was just the way it was.”

  She nodded. In the beginning, the adults at the orphanage were too busy trying to helping her grieve to worry about her fading recollections. Later, they sent her to a therapist who made a lot of humming noises and said it was a coping mechanism - whatever that meant.

  “That’s what I thought. Definitely some kind of mind magic. Tricky stuff.” Snuffy reached for her locket again and she deftly swatted his paw away.

  “No shiny.”

  “Goddess, I’ve missed hearing you say that. Uh, back to the mind whammy magic. If your memories are coming back, then I think whatever was done to you is fading now you’re home. It was probably set up that way. As much as I want to smack the one who did this to you, I want to believe they had a reason.”

  “Yeah, what reason could they possibly have for stealing my memories and sending me away?”

  Snuffy sighed. “I think they were trying to protect you. Which is why me and Shaz couldn’t find you or Fern. Someone even sealed your files.” He clapped his paws together. “Your file! I bet it’s unlocked now!”

  His furry face scrunched into a frown of concentration, and a tome appeared on the table in front of him. It had a blue cover, and her name was embossed on the front in an ornate font. “Yes!”

  “I have a file? Wait, who are Shaz and Fern?”

  “You have a file. Well, you did. Every familiar gets one about their witch. I haven’t been able to access yours since you left. I think we need to go through this together. That way, you can read about the things you don’t remember, and I can catch up on what happened since you were sent away.” He patted the book. “Fern, Shaz, Luna, your parents, they’re all in here.”

  She looked at the massive book, then at her dessert. “We’re going to need a lot more ice cream.”

  Chapter Seven

  Not even an hour spent body surfing in his seal form could smooth the ragged edges off Connell’s morning mood. Thoughts of Breeze had kept him up in more ways than one, and what little sleep he had managed had led to dreams so X-rated he probably owed his little witch an apology.

  Fuck. He wanted to throttle the part of his brain that wouldn’t shut up about Breeze. She wasn’t his. He didn’t have time in his life for a mate. He was a selkie of the world, going where he was needed, saving the day, and then moving on to do it again somewhere else. It was a good life. No, scratch that. It was a great fucking life.

  But a lonely one.

  Wonderful, now he was talking to himself. And he wasn’t lonely, either.

  Then why are you arguing with yourself instead of talking this out with a friend. Oh, wait, that’s right. You don’t have any.

  Connell started humming loudly and kept on swimming. Seal vocal cords weren’t exactly made for music, but mangling his favourite James Bond soundtracks was better than listening to his inner monologue.

  He was about to head back to shore when he spotted a pod of orcas closing fast. The Shifters were clicking and squeeing in agitation as they approached. Their leader was a big fellow whose dorsal fin stood almost as tall as Connell did on dry land, which made him easy to pick out from the others.

  Connell shifted forms and waited. Orcas were known as the wolves of the sea, and it suited them. Fisk was their leader, and he was as alpha as any land wolf Connell had ever met. The meeting would start when Fisk decided it would, and it would end the same way. Fucking alphas are a pain in the flippers. Except for me. I’m nothing like those other alpha jerks.

  Fisk’s dorsal fin vanished and a moment later the pod’s leader swam over to join him in human form. He was a big man, with shoulders a linebacker would envy and a smile that flashed just enough of his teeth to remind anyone looking he was a predator. His hair was slicked back from his face, but even wet, there was no missing the white streaks in his dark locks. Connell had forgotten that little detail until now. Breeze had the same look. It might be a coincidence, but Connell had learned a long time ago that coincidences didn’t happen nearly as often as people liked to think they did.

  He nodded in greeting. “We could have done this on dry land, you know.”

  The big Shifter shrugged. “Could have. Didn’t see the need. You’re here. We’re here. Why go back to shore?” He flashed a toothy smile. “Unless you’re cold, little seal?”

  Asshole. “I’m fine. Is there a reason for this impromptu social visit, or was this just a friendly chat from the local fin patrol?”

  Fisk gave him a look cold enough to refreeze the arctic. “I wanted to talk to you about the witch.”

  “Anything in particular?”

  “You need to stay away from her.”

  “Blow it out your blowhole. I don’t answer to you.”

  “Who do you answer to?”

  There were about a dozen layers to that question, and Connell didn’t like any of them. He didn’t need to look to confirm that he was cut off from the beach by at least three members of the pod, and not even his alternate form was capable of taking on twenty or so apex predators that weighed in at several metric tonnes apiece. Fuck.

  “I’m waiting,” Fisk said.

  “I report to P.I.T.A, the Paranormal Investigations Agency.” Which was technically true. They handled the paperwork.

  “Yeah? So what does the T stand for?”

  “Top Secret.” Actually, it was T.G.I.F, but that information was, in fact, top secret.

  “Anyone ever mentioned you’re a smart ass?”

  He dropped all pretense of being a surf bum and met Fisk’s stare alpha to alpha. “That’s Agent Smart Ass to you.”

  “So, you’re not part of the problem. You’re part of the solution.” Fisk gave him a dubious look. “In theory. You’re here to look into the gull Shifters?”

  “I am. Though I’d appreciate it if you didn’t mention that to anyone else.”

  “Not a big fan of secrets. They come back to bite you in the tail eventually.”

  “If the gulls hear there’s an agent in town looking for them, they’ll vanish faster than a fart in a gale. I’ll get pulled off this mission and sent somewhere else, and then the shit-hawks will be back and you’ll have no one around to help deal with them. Is that what you want?”

  “No. But once this is all over, you’re gone?”

  “Not feeling a lot of love here. But yeah, once the gulls are dealt with, I’ll be moving on.”

  “Good. In that case, the gulls have set up operations on one of the small islands outside the bay. No official name, but the locals call it the Bank. You know it?”

  “The one that’s nothing but a sheer bluff on the near side?”

  “That’s it. Took us a while to find them. We managed to track that derelict tug of theirs to the area after they ran into a freak storm the other night.” The big man raised one black brow. “Don’t suppose you know anything about that?”

  “Storm? I didn’t hear anything about a storm. But I appreciate the intel. I’ll recon tonight. You and your pod interested in paying them a little visit?”

  “If we could, we’d have done it already. The island is warded. We couldn’t even reach the beach.”

  Warded. Fan-fucking-tastic. “Where in the name of the Goddess’ G-string did the gulls find a spell-slinger?”

  Fisk grimaced. “No idea, but I don’t like it. They’re too stupid to have managed this on their own.”

  “Agreed. Look, you’re not going to like hearing this, but the only one who can get us on that island is the witch you want me to stay away from.”

  Fisk slapped the water with an open hand. “Fuck. I was afraid you’d say that.”

  “I don’t see the problem, here. She’s a grown woman, and according to that fuzzy nutter familiar of hers, a powerful witch who was sent here to protect the town.�
�

  “She’s also my niece. Great-niece. Still, she’s family.” The air filled with squees and clicks of agreement. Great. his maybe-mate had family in town after all, and they were the big, burly, overprotective kind… with teeth.

  “Well, that explains the hair.” He cocked his head. “Did anyone mention to you that she doesn’t remember this place and thinks her entire family is dead?”

  Fisk bared his teeth. “I heard.”

  Connell bared his right back, fueled by a sudden surge of anger for Breeze. “Maybe you also heard that she grew up in an orphanage. Alone. And she thought she was such a mediocre witch that she didn’t even merit a familiar. Someone fucked with her magic and left her with no money and no family for more than ten fucking years! She deserved better, especially from her family.”

  Fisk blinked at him, then grinned. “So, it’s like that?” The Shifter threw back his head and laughed, and the rest of the pod laughed along with him, causing enough sonic turbulence that the water around him actually bubbled. “Was there a question in there? I didn’t hear one. What I heard was a Shifter getting mighty protective over a witch he only met yesterday. I thought you said you’d be gone after this job?”

  “I’m a professional knight in shining armour. Getting protective is part of the job, mate. And yes, when the mission ends, I’m out of here.”

  “Mate,” Fisk drawled. “Interesting choice of words.”

  “It’s just an expression, like bro, or dude.”

  “If you say so.” Fisk gave him a look that screamed ‘bullshit’ in ten-foot-tall neon letters. “As for what happened to Breeze, it was necessary. That doesn’t mean I liked it, but I made a promise, and I’ve kept it. Now that she’s back, I’ll have to pay the price for that decision.”

  “Well, she won’t hear about it from me. I know better than to get in the middle of a family spat.” He had no intention of being the one who told her that her family had left her on her own for so long. That news was going to hurt, and he didn’t like the idea of causing her pain.