Stolen Time

by S. A. Ichigo

  “Mom!” Caleb cries. “I’m not ten anymore, let go!” Miranda pulls his ear harder.

  “Which doesn’t change the fact you are a kid,” she mocks him.

  “I’m almost thirty-four!” he laughs.

  “About time to have your own child then, son.” She sends him a suggestive look.

  “One day,” he cuts her off.

  Ashley rolls her eyes and laughs.

  “About that...” she says.

  Caleb stops talking and turns into her direction at a speed of light. He swallows hard and sends her a questioning look.

  “Ash, is there something I don’t know about?” he asks with an uncertain voice.

  His face is pale and his hands begin to shake. He looks from Ashley to me to his mom, searching for an answer. I am as shocked as he is, even Miranda drops her mouth in disbelief.

  “Ash, what’s going on?” he asks again.

  Ashley smiles and grabs his hand.

  “Well, I wasn’t feeling well lately. I took a test this morning as I was running late on my period,” she exclaims. “It said I am four weeks pregnant.”

  Caleb’s jaw drops and he shakes his head like he doesn’t believe what she just said.

  “Tests can be wrong,” he says.

  “I took three,” she confirms. “They were all positive.”

  He blinks. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I was going to, but then your parents came and I didn’t catch you.”

  Miranda kicks Caleb’s leg under the table and gives him a hard stare. I understand he’s processing what just happened. I’m shocked myself. I don’t want to think about what must be going inside his head right now. He’s going to be a father.

  “Are you for real?” he asks again.

  “Yes.”

  “Fuck, I think I’m going to pass out,” he says fanning himself.

  “Caleb! Language!” Miranda snaps at him.

  “Sorry.” he murmurs. “But you know what, mom?” he smiles and grabs Ashley in his arms. “I don’t give a...”

  “Caleb!” Miranda shouts again.

  “Mom, cut the crap, please. Let me show my happiness my way.” he lifts Ashley off the ground and kisses her. “You just made me the happiest man alive.”

  We say our congratulations and I can’t help but wonder if Kai would like to have kids. We never really talked about it and given the fact that he lost one child already, I’m not sure if he’ll want to have any. But looking at him now, seeing how happy he is to be an uncle gives me hope that he might agree on having them one day. I can’t help but wonder what a great father he would be.

  We share a look for a moment and I turn my head away. He walks towards me and hugs me from behind, putting his nose into my hair.

  “Why the sad face?” he asks, kissing my cheek.

  “It’s just...” I sigh. “You will be a great uncle.” I change the subject.

  “Hey,” he whispers. “look at me.”

  I turn around to face him and see his beautiful smile. He strokes my cheek with his hand.

  “We’ll have it all,” he says. “I promise.”

  It’s funny how he can easily read my mind. Sometimes all it takes for him is one look to know what is bothering me. He’s always there when I need him. He knows how to handle me. I think he knew all along, even without ‘handle with care’ sticker on my body – he always knew that I’m a fragile human being. I try to keep my ‘strong woman’ mask in front of people and usually it works – but not with him. He sees right through me. He’s always had. And as scary as it is, I know it’s something good. He knows me better than I know myself.

  We say our goodbyes with Kai’s parents a few hours later. Caleb and Ashley seem to be on the cloud six since the dinner and they don’t even notice us leaving, so we jump into Kai’s pickup and head back home. It’s already dark outside and the highway is nearly empty. We’ve had a lovely day and I’m happy how it all turned out. I’m tired, though.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” Kai says when we reach the end of a highway.

  He turns right and I see ‘Welcome to Jackson’ sign ahead. We’re nearly home and I can’t wait to get a warm bath and snuggle under the blanket with him. I look out of the window and take a deep breath.

  “Are you sure I’m a good choice?” I ask uncertainly.

  “Where’s that coming from?” he says and reaches for my hand. “You are the best choice, Mia.” He plants a soft kiss on my palm. “I would never ever change you for anyone.”

  I squeeze his hand.

  “I love you,” he says. “The past you, the present you and the future you. I love everything about you.” he smiles. “So don’t you ever dare to doubt it.”

  We take a turn left and a bright headlight comes out of nowhere.

  “Watch out!” I shout.

  Kai turns the steering wheel and I hear a squeal of brakes. I scream and hit my head on the window. Then a loud crash fills the air and all goes blank.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Kai

  Present

  The chemical scent and huffing sound of machines slowly wake me up from the longest dream I’ve ever had. I try to open my eyes, but it’s like I have no power over them at all. I blink slowly, breathing unevenly and trying to remember what got me here. Certainly, I’m in the hospital. I remember that scent of medicine and disinfectant liquid way too good.

  My whole body hurts as if someone beat me hard. I’m so weak I’m not able to move my hand or say a damn word. So I blink, slowly adjusting my eyes to the bright light.

  “He’s waking up,” a muffled voice says.

  It feels like a dream, well, more like a nightmare. Everything is so familiar, but at the same time, it feels surreal. I remember driving a car and then.

  Lisa.

  My thoughts wander to her, but I can tell something is wrong. I try to remember anything, but my brain doesn’t want to cooperate.

  “Lisa.” I try to say, but the voice gets stuck in my throat.

  I feel like I’ve been here before. Like I’m wide awake, but yet asleep. Like I’m sleepwalking between life and death. And a strange feeling of déjà vu hits me. I try to remember what happened, but my memory doesn’t seem to work at all. Everything is blurred. The only thing I’m sure about is that something is wrong. I can feel it.

  I open my eyes wide and face a nurse checking up on me. She’s eyeing me closely.

  “Where is Lisa?” I ask coughing.

  She sends me a questioning look like she does not understand who am I talking about. Tight knot forms in my stomach and fear rises within every minute passing with no response.

  “Where is Lisa?” I repeat unsure if she heard me.

  Yet something doesn’t seem right. Deep down I have a feeling I’m reliving a nightmare, but I’m not sure of how do I know about it. All I know is that I’ve been here before. I remember these white walls, that scent of death in the air. I remember all of those strange tubes stuck in my body. And I remember this fear – the feeling that something is wrong – the feeling of life slipping through your fingers.

  “Mr. Russel,” she says with concern in her voice.

  You know that moment when your heart suddenly stops? Well, mine just did. And it’s the most wrecking and intense pain I’ve ever felt. It’s like everything except you moves in slow motion and all you can do is sit and stare as your life turns upside down.

  I know what she’s about to say. I shake my head in disbelief. The doctor walks into the room and glances at me with the same concern in his eyes. I remember him. But how? He seems a bit older though. I glance at him, trying to remember something – but my head is empty.

  “Where is Lisa?”

  “There’s been an accident, Mr. Russel,” he says.

  All the air gets sucked out of my lungs and I feel like I’m going to pass out. I don’t hear a word more of what he’s saying. An accident. I suddenly remember everything. A loud scream of a woman. A crash. And then everything wen
t blank.

  “Mr. Russel,” he says with an uncertain voice.

  He waves his hand in front of my face.

  “I’m so sorry. Your wife didn’t make it.” A voice echoes in my head.

  I blink and shake my head. No. She’s here. She has to be here! I try to sit up but the doctor stops me.

  “Let go!” I scream at him.

  A moment later Caleb enters the room and storms towards me. His worried expression breaks my heart even more. I look deep into his eyes. He swallows hard and comes closer.

  “Where’s Lisa?” I ask.

  He looks shocked. He frowns and turns to the doctor.

  “Can I speak with my brother in private, please?” he asks.

  The doctor nods and leaves the room. I send my brother a questioning look, full of pain and confusion. He sits on my bed and looks me deep in the eyes. This uncertainty kills me.

  “What do you remember from last night?” he asks.

  So I tell him everything – which is not much – and see the pain in his eyes growing with every word I say. But there’s something more, something hard to describe in his expression.

  “Lisa is gone, Kai,” he drawls.

  “No!” I snap at him. “It’s not true,” my voice breaks.

  He grabs my hand.

  “She’s been gone for over three years now.”

  What?

  I look at him shocked. And then suddenly I remember it all and the realization I forgot about her hits me hard. It’s not Lisa I was in the car with. I start to cry and Caleb hugs me. Tears roll down my cheeks and I can’t forgive myself that I forgot about Mia. How could I not remember her? How could I not remember everything we’ve shared?

  “Come on, brother,” Caleb says, trying to cheer me up. “I know you hit your head hard, get it together.” He taps my back.

  My brother is the most unpredictable and inappropriate man alive. His attitude could surprise many people, and that he’s never serious might devastate them – but I’m used to his lack of social skills and compassion. I turn towards him, ready to give him a speech about his ruthless sense of humor when he speaks.

  “Your fiancee is fine,” he says. “She’s got only a couple of bruises. She’s been asking about you for the past three hours, so get the shit back together and go to her,” he rushes me. “We’ll talk later.”

  My fiancee.

  Remorse and guilt hit me. I forgot about her. I forgot that I was with her. I forgot all that we shared. It’s like she never existed until now. In my memory, I was still with Lisa. I was reliving my past even though she’s long gone. Somehow my brain stopped at that moment. Somehow I remembered only Lisa and the accident.

  “Caleb.” I stop him.

  “Yes, big brother?” he asks smirking.

  “How could I not remember her?” I ask with a breaking voice.

  “You’ve hit your head pretty hard, big bro. I’m happy you remember my name,” he jokes and leaves the room.

  The doctor comes back a few minutes after giving me some painkillers. It’s then when I realize that my forearm is broken and that it hurts – a lot. My head is killing me and I’m still a bit wobbly. We stare at each other for a moment.

  “I remember you, Mr. Russel,” he says, handing me the medicine. “I’m happy this time I have good news to share with you.”

  I nod as there is nothing much I could say. Now I remember that he was the one who broke the news about Lisa to me three years ago and seeing him again brought back the memories I’ve been trying to push away for so long. I’m still confused about what happened yesterday – mad at myself I forgot about Mia for a moment – but at the same time, I woke up to live my worst nightmare all over again. It felt like I traveled back in time and like that time has stopped.

  “How is Mia doing?” I ask.

  “She will be fine,” he says. “She’s only had a couple of scratches, but nothing major.”

  She will be fine. My heart slows down a little. She will be fine. I need to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming. I let out a breath of relief.

  “I’m glad you moved on after what happened to your wife, Mr. Russel.” The doctor says to me.

  “I’m happy as well, doctor. You have no idea.” I respond.

  “Kai!” Mia screams when I enter the room.

  I sit on her bed and pull her into an embrace. It’s good to have her in my arms again, good to know that she’s all right. I bury my head in her hair and breathe her scent, and suddenly I feel like I’m home again. All of my concerns fade away as she brushes my hair with her gentle palm. It’s the most soothing touch I’ve ever felt. I feel like someone took the weight out off my shoulders. I feel like I can breathe again. I pull her closer and the reminder of my broken arm strikes like a thunderstorm. I grit my teeth and kiss her forehead.

  “I’ve been so worried about you,” she says.

  I wish I could say the same, but I can’t tell her the truth.

  “I’ve been worried about you too.” That’s only partly a lie.

  I still can’t forgive myself for not remembering about her, but Caleb said I hit my head hard. It doesn’t change the fact that I despise myself for it.

  “How are you feeling?” I ask stroking her cheek.

  “Tired.” she frowns. “I feel like I haven’t slept in ages.” She yawns.

  She smiles and my heart melts.

  “We need to get you a new suit for the wedding.” She laughs, pointing at my broken forearm.

  I’m being discharged the next morning, but for some reason, Mia needs to stay in the hospital. I hate the fact that every time I ask the doctor for details, he refuses to share any information.

  “You are not a relative, Mr. Russel,” he says.

  Stupid data protection law. Mia doesn’t have any relatives alive and despite I’m her fiancé, I’m not a relative. This stupid law makes me want to kill everyone who came up with the idea to create it. I hate this uncertainty. I hate not knowing what is going on when the doctor told me she’s all right. Why are they keeping her under observation then? Why are they running more tests if she’s okay?

  We walk into the doctor’s office later on that day. Mia is holding my hand tightly as we step inside. She’s stressed as well, her palms are sweating and her breathing is uneven.

  “Have a seat.” The doctor turns to us.

  We take our seats still holding hands. I brush my thumb on her knuckles, trying to ease her stress a little, but it’s hard to do when I’m all stressed myself. We’ve been waiting all day for the results of whatever tests they’ve been running on Mia. They didn’t tell her anything just yet. “How are you feeling, Miss Parker?” he asks her.

  “I’m all right, thank you,” she says with an uncertain voice.

  I squeeze her hand tighter.

  “I have good and bad news for you, Miss Parker,” he exclaims, looking her deep in the eyes.

  Once again, I lose the ability to breathe. I give the doctor a hard stare as I reach to hug Mia.

  “What’s the good news?” she asks with a tremulous voice.

  I can see tears building up in the corner of her eyes. I hug her tighter and kiss her palm.

  “You’re seven weeks pregnant, Miss Parker,” he exclaims. “Congratulations.”

  What? Did I hear him right? I turn my head toward Mia, she looks just as shocked as I am. Pregnant. I’m going to be a father. I blink a few times. I’m not dreaming.

  “It’s not possible,” she whispers in disbelief. “I had a period a week ago.”

  “Some women still have them in the early stages of pregnancy,” he informs her. “Was it like the usual one?” he asks.

  Her face goes pale and her hands shake even more.

  “It was way lighter and lasted only three days. I thought it was because of the stress,” she says.

  She looks at me with fear in her eyes.

  “It’s okay,” I tell her. “It’s going to be okay.”

  “The USG scan we’ve done once
they admitted you to the hospital confirmed the pregnancy.” The doctor says. “It was a big surprise.”

  “Is the baby all right?” she asks.

  “The baby is all right.” he assures her. “Its heart was beating properly and there is no damage to the placenta, so the baby will be all right.”

  Tears of joy stream down her face. I hug her tighter and kiss her softly. I’m going to be a dad! I want to lift her off the ground and scream the news to the entire world, but I need to remind myself we’re in the hospital. I’m so happy I never thought I will be. I feel like I’m holding the universe in my hands. I feel complete.

  But then a voice of doubt forms in the back of my head. What is the bad news then? If the baby is fine, what is wrong? I glance at the doctor as he reaches out for a big envelope. His face is focused, but I can tell he’s sad. Something about the way he looks at us breaks my heart. I know whatever he’s about to say, isn’t good. I can feel it. He’s letting us have this moment, but he’s not celebrating with us. Mia senses my change of mood and turns towards the doctor.

  “What is the bad news, doctor?” her voice is shaking.

  “You have an astrocytoma brain tumor,” he exclaims slowly, not looking at us. “Grade three.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Mia

  Present

  I feel like the ground is slipping from beneath my feet. Like all the pieces of the puzzle I got together, fall apart completely once again – piece by piece, my life becomes a hell again. How can fate be so cruel to break what’s already been broken? How can fate hate me so much to give me the most beautiful thing in the world and take it away from me at the same time? I can’t even find the words to describe how much it hurts.

  I stopped listening to the doctor around the time when he started to name all the symptoms I should have developed by now. I’m not sure if I had any of them, but I might have mistaken them with overstrain and lack of sleep. I had mood swings, but nothing that could be called a major change in behavior.

  I stare at Kai and study his face as the doctor tells us all the outcomes. It breaks my heart to watch him going through it. I feel like a spectator in theatre a moment before a curtains fall down. Only that this time there will be no applause. I see tears slowly falling down Kai’s face and realize that I’m crying too. I squeeze his hand tightly afraid to let him go. I don’t want to let him go. I want to have mine forever. With him. But how long does that forever last now? A few months? A year? A few years?