Stolen Time

by S. A. Ichigo

  I lie on the sofa with Kai, listening to his heartbeat. I’m not scared anymore and somehow I convinced him that everything will be all right. I feel good, from time to time I suffer from migraines, but it’s not as bad as the doctor said. I’m holding on.

  It’s our last weekend as a couple, and we’ve decided to skip the bachelorette and bachelor party. We ended up packing the car and hitting the road earlier in the morning. Kai refused to be the driver. Since the accident, he’s not the same anymore. He doesn’t trust his instincts and it will take a lot of time for him to fully recover. “You could have died.” He said to me the other day. I can see he’s fighting with the guilt and that fact that I’m not able to help him hurts like hell. He needs to understand that none of this was his fault. I know first-hand how hard it is to let go of the guilt, so I don’t push him to do so.

  We end up in Lake Wappapello State Park, renting a cabin in the middle of nowhere. It’s so peaceful I can hear my own thoughts. It’s been raining all day, but even that wouldn’t destroy my mood right now.

  “You know,” he murmurs. “I never believed I could love again. Not until you stormed into my life and turned it upside down.” He grabs my hand. “So whatever comes next, any obstacles on the way, we’ll overcome them all,” he kisses it softly. “I’m not letting you go. Not now. Never.”

  Sadness in his voice breaks my heart.

  “I’ll be all right, you’ll see.” I comfort him. “I have two reasons to live now.”

  As for the confirmation of my words, I feel a soft kick underneath my skin.

  “Put your hand on my tummy.” I urge him.

  I cover his palm with mine and guide it to the place where I felt the first kick. A few moments pass in silence.

  “Say hello to daddy,” I say, stroking my tummy.

  Kai kisses my cheek and our baby kicks softly again. I see tears sparkling in his eyes and I kiss him softly.

  “He’s going to be a football player,” he says with excitement.

  “No, she’s going to be a karate champion.” I tease him.

  We both laugh and as for the response, baby kicks again. Kai entwines his fingers with mine. Until now, I’ve never been so sure I can overcome this disease. Cancer is tricky, painful, and surely the most inequitable of all. But I’m ready for that pain. I’m ready for the fight. I have someone to fight for. Two hearts beating for me. I have someone to go back to.

  “Do you regret meeting me?” I ask suddenly.

  I cuddle in Kai’s arms and breathe his scent. He kisses my forehead softly and whispers into my ear.

  “Never doubt my love, Mia.” He hugs me tighter. “I regret many things in my life, but meeting you isn’t one of them. I regret all those years I spent without knowing you.” He brushes my hair. “I would crawl to the hell and back if it meant I can be with you.”

  Not giving up on this baby was the best decision I’ve made. It made me realize that sometimes the most unexpected things lead to the best moments in your life. It wasn’t easy to risk all I have. It wasn’t easy to see Kai’s heart breaking into pieces right in front of my eyes. It wasn’t easy to watch him fighting for me like this. But it was worth it. Some choices are selfish and selfless at the same time, depending on who is to judge - but in the end, it doesn’t even matter.

  Chapter Twenty One

  Kai

  Present

  Seeing her walking down the aisle takes my breath away. Just the way she stole my heart from the very first moment, she holds it now – forever. She’s the most beautiful bride. She’s the brightest shining star of all. She looks so beautiful. She’s just perfect and all mine. Mine to love. Mine to hold. Mine to keep. Mine forever no matter what the future holds.

  She’s smiling at me whilst taking slow steps my way. My father is walking her down the aisle, holding her hand on his forearm, leading her towards me in what seems to be slow motion. Her hair falls down her arms, the veil covering her face – but behind it, there’s that smile I fell in love with – a smile that’s giving me hope. Mia’s dress is perfect – snow-white, with a lace finish on the top and the bottom. She looks like a princess – she’s mesmerizing and I can’t take my eyes off of her. I’m hypnotized. I want to remember this moment, keep it in my memory so that no one will steal it.

  Mia stands in front of me and I uncover her face. God, she’s so beautiful. You know, they say everyone has their guardian angel and if that’s true – she’s mine. She’s the only thing in this world keeping me from being my worst self. She’s the light that guides me home. She’s my home. She’s my reason for everything and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. And when I look into her eyes, I see the unconditional love.

  I grab her hand gently.

  “You look breathtaking,” I whisper.

  She smiles even wider.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” she whispers back and winks at me.

  I wish I could kiss her already.

  “Welcome everyone. We gather here today to celebrate the wedding of Mia and Kai,” says the officiant. “Marriage is the greatest and most challenging adventure two people decide to take. But at the same time, it’s the most beautiful path to share with someone you love. A path full of love, surprises, patience, and devotion.” He continues and I see a spark of tears in Mia’s eyes. “This ceremony will not create your marriage, only your love, devotion can make it work.”

  I’ve dreamt about this moment from the day I met her. I knew somehow we’re meant to be together, even though none of us believed it. We were both too locked up in our past to see the future. We were both too scared to open our hearts for the possibility of loving again. But no more. Seeing her today made me realize that I couldn’t be happier and more grateful for all I have. Once, I was a broken man – but she made me whole again. Mia. My Mia.

  “Will you, Kai, take this woman to be your wedded wife?” the officiant asks.

  “I will,” I respond, looking her deep in the eyes.

  “Will you, Mia, take this man to be your wedded husband?

  Mia locks her eyes on mine.

  “I will,” she says, and a small tear escapes her eye.

  I wipe it softly and Mia giggles. I stare at her, amazed by her beauty. What we have is timeless and even though I’m scared of the future, I know she’ll always be a part of it – one way or another.

  “Two people in love do not live in isolation. They love each other for no reason. Their love is a source of strength that can overcome the greatest obstacles.” The officiant continues. “And we, their community of friends and family, have a responsibility to this couple. By our care, respect, and love, we can support their marriage and the new family they are creating today.” He turns to our guests. “Will everyone please rise.”

  Caleb, Ashley, and my parents stand up. I see tears in my mother’s eyes, even though she’s doing her best to hide them. I know she’s happy for us. She loves Mia like she was her own. Caleb kept her updated about my relationship with Mia long before we got engaged. If one thing in this world can’t be changed, it’s my dearest brother. Keeping his eye on me just like I kept my eye on him. I’m blessed to have a brother like him.

  “Will you who are present here today, surround Mia and Kai in love, offering them the joys of your friendship and supporting them in their marriage?” the officiant asks.

  “We will.” They say at the same time.

  “You may be seated.” The officiant continues. “We’ve come to the point of your ceremony where you’re going to say your vows to one another. If you can keep the vows you take here today, not because of any religious or civil law, but out of the desire to love and be loved by another person fully, without limitation, then your life will have joy and love like no other.” He looks at me. “Please, now read the vows you have written.”

  I stroke Mia’s face gently as I look her deep in the eyes.

  “I, Kai Russel, promise to love you always and forever. For better, for worse, for poorer, for richer, in s
ickness and health,” my voice breaks a little and I feel a lump forming in my throat. “You are my home from the very first moment and I’ll do everything in my power to keep you by my side till my very last breath.” I smile at her but a tear escapes my eyes. “My love for you is endless and timeless. You own my heart and soul. So from this day onwards, I promise to hold you, even if you’d try to run away. I promise to love you, even if you’d not love yourself. I lay my heart in your hands and I promise to keep your safe inside of mine. I love you, Mia. From the very first moment and I always will.”

  Tears fall down her cheeks and I’m crying as well.

  “I, Mia Parker,” her voice is shaky. “Promise to fight for you, even if you’ll give up. I promise to be there for you, to hold you, to love you,” she smiles through the tears.

  I know they’re not only tears of joy. They are tears of longing and the uncertainty we’re both facing right now. We’re both aware that our happily ever after may not last forever.

  “The moment you came to my life, you made me realize that I can be happy again and you gave me that happiness. You are my reason to live, my reason to fight and my reason to believe that whatever’s yet to come, you’ve got my back.” she continues. “I want to thank you for being there for me. I want to thank you for giving me that missing piece. I want to thank you for loving me with all my flaws and promise to love you till my very last breath,” she squeezes my hand. “The vacancy that sat in my heart is a space that now you hold,” she quotes Justin Timberlake. “‘Cause it’s like you’re my mirror, my mirror staring back at me. I couldn’t get any bigger with anyone else beside of me.” She smiles at me. “With your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul I can tell you there’s no place we couldn’t go.”

  I feel as happy and heartbroken as one can be at the same time. This day is the best and the worst day of my life. I’m afraid if I blink, she’ll disappear. I’m afraid now that I have her, she will slip out of my hands for good.

  “May I have the rings, please?” the officiant asks.

  Caleb hands him the rings and a moment later Mia and I are married couple.

  “You may kiss your bride.” The officiant says with enthusiasm.

  Everyone applauds and I take Mia’s face in my hands and kiss her like the world depends on it. She laughs and deepens the kiss, throwing her arms around my neck. I lift her off the ground and carry her to the ballroom, twirling her round and round.

  “May I have this dance, Mrs. Russel?” I ask as 'Beautiful in white' starts playing.

  I have picked this song long before Mia said yes. Somehow I knew we belong together and all I could imagine was her in a white dress. I couldn’t find the right words to describe my feelings and then I heard this song. I was stunned by how much it matches my feelings. And just like the lyrics say: she looks so beautiful in white. When I hold her in my arms, I’m complete. I found the love of my life. Dancing with her between my arms is the most perfect moment of my life. I have my entire world locked up tightly in between my hands. Now nothing can hurt us.

  As we swing across the dancefloor, I steal kisses from her and she giggles. Mia is a good dancer, even though she said she couldn’t dance. She follows my lead, just as if she danced with me her whole life.

  “You look so beautiful in white.” I try to sing, but my voice sounds more like someone’s choking.

  “Mr. Russel, I love you, but please don’t sing ever again,” she laughs and hugs me closer.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I see my parents. They watch us stunned, cuddled like teenagers. My mother is crying – as per usual, and my dad is making fun of her. They are a living example of what I want from life. Their kind of love. Love that lasts forever. They always were and will be the perfect couple. And I want to be the same for Mia. I want to give her my love. I want her to know that no matter where she goes, she’ll never be alone. I want to be the husband she deserves and the best father for our child she could ever wish for. I promised her forever and I intend to keep that promise.

  When we finish our dance, everyone applauds and a large box is being settled in the middle of the ballroom. Here comes the big moment we’ve been waiting for so long. The moment we’ll find out our baby’s gender.

  I lock Mia’s hand with mine and we grab a white ribbon tied up on the top of the box. My heart beats so fast I hear it banging on my ribcage.

  “Ready?” I ask.

  Mia nods and we pull the ribbon. Pink balloons fill the room. I glance at Mia and see that she’s crying.

  “I knew it!” I hear Caleb’s loud cackle.

  We laugh and I pull Mia closer, planting a soft kiss on her forehead. We’re having a daughter. A copy of her mom. Beautiful, smart, and loving creature.

  “Thank you,” I whisper.

  “For what?” she asks surprised.

  “For making me believe.”

  Chapter Twenty Two

  Mia

  Present

  “What’s on your bucket list?” Kai asks as we cuddle in our bed.

  “I don’t have one,” I answer.

  I’ve been avoiding this subject for a reason. Making a list like this is accepting the fact that I’m dying. At least I see it that way. There are better days, but there are days when I feel like I’ll fall apart. Today is one of those sad, depressing days when I’m hopeless. I don’t want to think about it or make any stupid list of things I want to do. I don’t want to plan things I may not have time for. I don’t want to have any regrets.

  Kai pulls me closer sensing my change of mood.

  “I’m sorry,” he says, kissing my forehead.

  “It’s all right.” I comfort him. “I just don’t feel like having one, you know?”

  Dead silence falls between us. We’ve been living in our bubble of happiness, avoiding talking about the inevitable. With all the preparations for our daughter’s arrival, we didn’t have much time to think about the future. Or we’ve been pushing the subject away – most probably. At least I’ve been doing it.

  There’s only one week left until Lara’s arrival, and we’re both excited to meet her. But behind that happiness hides the fear of what will happen next. We have a milestone to overcome, and I’m not sure either of us is ready to face it. These past few months fled away so quickly I barely noticed. If it wasn’t for my growing tummy, I’d never tell I’m already eight months pregnant. I feel like time is slipping through my fingers and as much as I’m happy to meet our daughter I’m scared I won’t be there to witness her growing up.

  We head to the hospital early in the morning. Lara will be here soon and I can’t wait to hold her in my arms. Doctors are still running some tests on me, preparing me for the surgery. I’ll be having spinal anesthesia, so at least I’m going to hear her first cry. She’ll be facing the unknown as well. A whole new world.

  Kai is holding me tightly as the doctor inserts the needle into my spine. I’m so stressed out I don’t even feel the pain. I just want this to be over so I can hold my baby. I know she’ll be the most beautiful creature this world has ever seen. I loved her from the very first moment and keeping her was the best decision I made. Kai sees it too. I know he’s happy even if he doesn’t show it that much. He loves this little creature more than anything, and I’m sure he will be the greatest father she could have. I know he will keep her safe.

  An hour later, I hear a loud cry and a moment later, the doctor hands me our daughter.

  “Oh man, she’s got pretty strong lungs,” Kai says.

  I see tears in his eyes as he holds us both, covering Lara with a soft blanket to keep her warm. Tears of happiness are rolling down my cheeks and I kiss Lara’s head gently. She’s so perfect, even though she’s now screaming at the top of her lungs. Kai is watching her like he’s under some kind of spell. He smiles and touches her little nose.

  “Look at you, little Russel,” he says, kissing her tiny hand. “You’re just as beautiful as your mom.”

  She’s got the most gorgeous black hair
and though she’s all red and crying, she’s the most perfect human being I’ve ever seen. Pointy little nose, her father’s eyes, and the most amazing tiny little feet. She’s so small and yet so strong.

  “Look how tiny she is,” I say touching her little hand. She squeezes my finger tightly.

  “She’s perfect.”

  A week later, we’re being discharged home after some jaundice treatment Lara had to go through as an early baby. We’ve been told that most of the newborns have it, but early arrivals go through it a little harder than other babies. She’s been given phototherapy treatment and now she’s good to go home.

  Kai is taking care of her most of the time, besides feeding. She’s the calmest and the most perfect baby I could wish for and every passing day makes me love her more. I love watching her sleep – she’s so peaceful and innocent. I wish I could stop the time for a while and just stare at her. I never really understood how one can love their child unconditionally until Lara was born. I just can’t take my eyes off of her.

  “Look at you, big brother. She’s got you wrapped around her tiny finger.” Caleb teases Kai.

  Caleb and Ashley are expecting a girl as well. We’re excited to raise our kids together, so a while ago they decided to move a bit closer and bought a house in Nashville. I’m happy to have them around more often, especially with my surgery in two weeks. I feel much safer knowing they will be here to support Kai.

  He’s a fantastic father, but once I’m in the hospital until I’ll fully recover, he’s going to need as much help as possible. His parents will stay at our house for the next two or three months, depending on how my recovery will progress. We’re trying to be positive about the whole situation. I’m having the best doctors in the state taking care of me and the best surgeon I could afford to perform a tumor removal. It’s going to be all right. It has to be all right. Now that I have two hearts waiting for me to come back home, I need to be strong.