Halo

by Alexandra Adornetto

“I’m going to blacken your soul and then claim it as my own.”

  My body began to shudder at his words. I grasped desperately at the table legs, looking for leverage, a way of escape. Jake ran a hand slowly along the length of my arm, savoring the contact. My skin burned and throbbed, and when I looked down, I saw a ribbon of red where his touch had scorched me.

  “I’m afraid you won’t be going back to Heaven, Bethany, because by the time I’m finished with you, they won’t let you in.”

  He stroked my face with a single finger and then traced the outline of my lips. I felt my face turn into a burning mask.

  I turned away and thrashed furiously, but Jake held me and forced me to look at him. I felt as though his fingers were boring right through my cheeks.

  “Don’t fret, my angel, we are very hospitable in Hell.”

  He kissed me roughly, the weight of his body pressing down on me before he pulled away. Spasms of heat seared through my entire body.

  “It’s time to say good-bye, Miss Church.”

  Jake closed his eyes and concentrated so hard that I saw beads of sweat appear on his brow. A vein pulsated close to his temples. Then, slowly, he straightened, reached out, and clamped his hands around my head.

  That was when it happened—an onslaught of tearing, hot needles pierced my mind, and in a single moment, I saw all the evil perpetrated since the dawn of time concentrated in single moment. Every calamity known to man spliced into single disconnected images, a series of flashes so intense I thought my brain would shatter.

  I saw children orphaned during wartime, villages turned to rubble by earthquakes, men blown apart by gunfire, families starving and weak from drought. I saw murders. I heard screams. I felt all the injustices of the world. Every illness known to humankind flooded through my body. Every feeling of terror, grief, and helplessness rushed at me. I felt every violent death acutely. I was in the car when Grace had the crash. I was a man in a boating accident, drowning in the ocean, crushed by the weight of the waves. I was Emily, swallowed alive by flames in her bed. And through it all I heard pitiless laughter, which I knew to be Jake’s.

  The pain of thousands, of millions, entered my earthly flesh like shards of glass. I was vaguely aware of my body convulsing on the floor, my hands at my temples. I was an angel, and I was being filled with all the agony and darkness in the world. I knew it would kill me. I opened my mouth to beg Jake to end my suffering, but no sound emerged. I had no voice left even to beg for my own death. Still, the siege continued, the images of horror flooding out of Jake and into me until it was a struggle to take the next breath.

  Jake wrenched his hands from my head and I felt my body sink in a moment of pure relief. It was then that I saw the fire, towering and engulfing all in its path, and I realized suddenly that the air was thick with smoke. The chandelier trembled and then fell as parts of the ceiling gave way, plaster and tiny glass beads cascading onto the dining table. A few feet away the curtains went up in flames, scattering a shower of embers. I covered my head but felt some land on my hands. My body was still throbbing and shuddering from the impact of the horrific memories; my lungs were filled with smoke, my eyes stung, and my head was reeling. I could feel myself slipping from consciousness. I struggled against it, but I was losing the battle. All I could see was Jake’s face framed by a circle of fire.

  Then, the far wall was torn apart as if from an explosion. For a moment I could see the deserted street beyond, before a dazzling brightness filled the room. Jake staggered backward, shielding his eyes. Gabriel emerged from the rubble, wings outstretched and sword blazing like a pillar of white light in his hands. His hair streamed behind him like ribbons of gold. Xavier and Ivy came next, and both rushed to my side. Xavier, his face streaked with tears, went to gather me in his arms, but Ivy restrained him.

  “Don’t move her,” she said. “Her injuries are too great. We will have to start the healing process here.”

  Xavier took my face in his hands.

  “Beth?” I felt his lips close to my cheek. “Can you hear me?”

  “She can’t answer,” Ivy’s sweet voice said, and I felt her cool fingers on my forehead. I lay convulsing on the floor as her healing energy flowed through me.

  “What’s happening to her?” Xavier cried as my body shook and lurched. I felt my eyes roll back in my head, and my mouth opened in a silent scream. “You’re hurting her!”

  “I’m draining her of the memories,” said Ivy. “They’ll kill her if I don’t.”

  Xavier was so close I could hear his heart pounding. I fastened on to the sound, believing it was the only thing that could keep me alive.

  “It’s going to be okay” he repeated gently. “It’s over now. We’re here. No one can hurt you. Stay with us, Beth. Just listen to my voice.”

  I struggled to sit up and saw my brother emerge through a wall of flame. Light was rolling off him in waves, and it almost hurt to look at him, he was so bright and beautiful. He strode through the fire and stood face to face with Jake Thorn, and for the first time I saw a look of fear cross Jake’s face. He quickly composed himself and curled his lip into its familiar smirk.

  “Come out to play, I see,” he said. “Just like old times.”

  “I’ve come to put an end to your games,” replied Gabriel darkly.

  He squared his shoulders and a howling wind blew up, rattling the glass in the windowpanes and casting the portraits from the walls. Cracks of lightning seared across the crimson sky, as if the heavens themselves were in revolt. In the midst of it all stood Gabriel, his powerful body rippling and glowing like a column of gold. The sword glowed white hot and hummed in his hand like a living entity. Jake Thorn staggered at the sight of it. When Gabriel spoke, his voice rolled out like thunder.

  “I am going to give you one chance and one chance only,” he said. “You may still repent for your sins. You may still turn away from Lucifer and renounce his works.”

  Jake spit at Gabriel’s feet. “It’s a bit late for that, wouldn’t you say? Generous of you to offer, though.”

  “It is never too late,” my brother replied. “There is always hope.”

  “The only thing I hope for is to see your power destroyed,” hissed Jake.

  Gabriel’s face hardened and any trace of pity vanished from his voice. “Then be gone,” he commanded. “You have no place here. Return to Hell into which you were first exiled.”

  He raised his sword, and the flames reared like living creatures to engulf Jake. They lurched over his head like vultures about to sweep on their prey—then suddenly froze. Something was holding them back—Jake’s own power seemed to be protecting him from harm. And so they stood, angel and demon locked in a silent battle of wills, the blazing sword caught between them, marking the division between the two worlds. Gabriel’s eyes flashed with the wrath of Heaven and Jake’s burned with the bloodlust of Hell. Through the haze of pain gripping my mind and body, I felt a cold and terrible fear. What if Gabriel failed to defeat Jake? What would become of us then? I became aware of my fingers wrapped around Xavier’s—his hands were cooling my seared skin. As he held me, I noticed that a strange light seemed to glow at the places where our fingers entwined. Soon it was enveloping us. It extended just far enough to cover both our bodies. I noticed that if I squeezed Xavier’s hand a little tighter and drew him a little closer, the light seemed to respond and spread farther out around us like a protective shield. But what was it? What did it mean? Xavier hadn’t even noticed—he was too focused on trying to still my quivering body—but Ivy had. She leaned down and whispered in my ear.

  “It’s your gift, Bethany. Use it.”

  “I don’t understand,” I croaked. “Can’t you tell me how?”

  “You have the most powerful gift of all—you know what to do with it.”

  My mind didn’t understand Ivy’s message, but somehow my body knew what to do. I summoned the last shreds of energy left inside me; pushed aside the pain that threatened to drag me under and l
ifted my head toward Xavier. As our lips met, every negative thought was driven from my head until all I could see was him. Jake Thorn leapt back as the light exploded in dazzling beams, streaming from our entwined bodies and flooding the room. Jake screamed and threw his arms around his body as if trying to protect himself, but the light engulfed him like tendrils of white fire. He thrashed and writhed for a moment, before giving himself up and allowing the ribbons to lick their way along his torso and wrap themselves like tentacles around him.

  “What is that?” Xavier cried as he shielded his eyes against the blinding blaze. Ivy and Gabriel who were standing calmly as the light washed over them, turned to him.

  “You of all people should know,” said Ivy. “It’s love.”

  Xavier and I held each other tightly as the room shook, and the light burned a gaping hole through the floor.

  It was into this abyss that Jake Thorn disappeared. He met my gaze as he fell. He was tortured but still smiling.

  32

  Aftermath

  In the weeks that followed, my brother and sister did their best to tidy up the confusion that Jake had left behind. They visited the families affected by the crimes he’d perpetrated and spent a lot of time trying to rebuild trust in Venus Cove.

  Ivy took care of Molly and the others who’d fallen under Jake’s spell. The dark spirits possessing their bodies had been sucked back to Hell along with the one who had raised them. My sister wiped the memory of Jake’s activities from their minds, careful not to touch any other unrelated recollections. It was like erasing words from a storybook—you had to select them very carefully or you might get rid of something important. When she was done, they remembered the newcomer Jake Thorn, but no one recalled having any association with him. A message was sent to the school administration that Jake had been withdrawn from Bryce Hamilton on the wishes of his father and he would be returning to boarding school in England. It was the subject of gossip for a day or two before the students moved on to more immediate concerns.

  “Whatever happened to that hot British guy?” Molly asked me two weeks after her rescue. She was sitting on the end of my bed, filing her nails. “What was his name . . . Jack, James?”

  “Jake,” I said. “And he left to go back to England.”

  “Shame,” Molly commented. “I liked his tattoos. Do you think I should get one? I was thinking one that says, ‘leirbag.’ ”

  “You want a tattoo of Gabriel’s name backward?”

  “Damn, is it that obvious? I’ll have to think of something else.”

  “Gabriel doesn’t like tattoos,” I said. “He says the human body is not a billboard.”

  “Thanks, Bethie,” Molly said gratefully. “Lucky I have you around to stop me from making bad decisions.”

  I found it hard to talk to Molly the way I used to. Something had changed within me. I was the only member of my family who hadn’t recovered from the conflict with Jake. In fact, weeks after the fire, I still hadn’t left the house. At first it was because my wings, which were badly burned, needed time to heal properly. After that it was simply because I lacked the courage. I was happy to be a ghost. After all my previous thirst for human experiences, I now wanted nothing more than the haven of home. I couldn’t think of Jake without tears springing to my eyes. I tried not to let the others see, but when I was alone, my self-control failed and I cried openly—not only for the pain he caused but also for what he might have been if he’d only allowed me to help him. I didn’t hate him. Hatred was a powerful emotion, and I felt too drained for that. I found myself thinking of Jake as one of the saddest creatures of the universe. He had come to willfully blacken our lives, but he had achieved nothing really. Nevertheless, I tried not to think about what might have happened if Gabriel hadn’t stormed my prison. But the thought kept creeping into my mind and driving me back to the safety of my bedroom.

  I sometimes watched the world go by through my window. The spring drifted into summer, and I felt the days lengthening. I noticed the sunshine arrived earlier and lasted longer. I watched some sparrows build their nests in the eaves of the house. In the distance I could see waves lapping lazily at the shore.

  Xavier’s visit was the only part of the day I looked forward to. Of course Ivy and Gabriel were a great comfort, but they always seemed slightly detached, still strongly connected to our old home. In my mind, Xavier was an embodiment of earth—rock solid, stable, and secure. I had worried that his experience with Jake Thorn might change him in some way, but his reaction to everything that happened was to have no reaction at all. He threw himself back into the task of looking after me and seemed to have accepted the supernatural world without question.

  “Maybe I don’t want answers,” he said when I quizzed him about it one afternoon. “I’ve seen enough to believe it.”

  “But aren’t you curious?”

  “It’s like you said.” He sat down beside me and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear. “There are some things beyond human comprehension. I know that there’s a Heaven and a Hell, and I’ve seen what can come out of both. For now that’s all I need to know. Questions would serve no purpose right now.”

  I smiled. “When did you become such a wise old soul?”

  He shrugged. “Well, I have been hanging out with a crew that’s been around since creation. You’d hope I’d get some perspective, having an angel as my other half.”

  “You’d call me your other half?” I asked dreamily, tracing my finger along the leather cord at his throat.

  “Of course,” he said. “When I’m not with you, I feel like I’m wearing a pair of glasses that turns the world gray.”

  “And when you are with me?” I asked softly.

  “Everything’s in technicolor.”

  Xavier’s final exams loomed, and yet he still came every day, always attentive, always studying my face for signs of improvement. He always brought with him some small offering: an article from the newspaper, a book from the library, an entertaining story to tell, or cookies he’d baked himself. Self-pity wasn’t an option when he was around. If there were ever moments in our past when I’d doubted his love, I didn’t doubt it now.

  “Should we try going for a walk today?” he asked. “Down to the beach? You can bring Phantom if you like.”

  I was tempted for a moment, then the thought of the outside world overwhelmed me, and I pulled my blanket up under my chin.

  “That’s okay.” Xavier didn’t press the matter. “Maybe tomorrow. How about we stay in and cook dinner together tonight?”

  I nodded mutely, snuggled closer to him, and looked up into his perfect face with its amused half-smile and lock of nutmeg hair falling across his forehead. It was all so wonderfully familiar.

  “Your patience is saintlike,” I said. “I think we’ll have to apply to have you canonized.”

  He laughed and took my hand, pleased to see in me a flicker of my former self. I followed him downstairs in my pajamas, listening to him talk about his recipe ideas. His voice was so soothing, like a cool balm easing my anxious mind. I knew he would stay with me and talk to me until I fell asleep. Every word he spoke tugged me gently back to life.

  But even Xavier’s presence couldn’t protect me from the nightmares. Every night it was the same, and I would wake drenched in a cold sweat. I’d know immediately that I’d been dreaming. I’d know even as it was playing out in my head. I’d been having the same dream for weeks now, but it still managed to terrify me and I woke with my heart in my throat and my hands curled into fists.

  In the dream I was in Heaven again, having left earth behind me for good. The deep sadness I felt was so real that when I woke it felt as if I had a bullet in my chest. Heaven’s splendor left me cold, and I begged Our Father for more time on earth. I pleaded my case vehemently and wept bitter tears, but my pleas fell on deaf ears. In despair I saw the gates close behind me, and I knew there was no escape. My chance had come and I let it pass.

  Although I was home I felt like a strange
r. It wasn’t the return itself that caused me so much pain; it was the thought of what I’d left behind. The thought of never touching Xavier, of never seeing his face again, tore at me like talons. In the dream I’d lost him. His features were blurred when I tried to evoke them from memory. What stung the most was that I didn’t even get the chance to say good-bye.

  The vastness of eternity lay before me, and all I wanted was mortality. But there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t alter the immutable laws of life and death, Heaven and earth. I couldn’t even hope, for there was nothing to hope for. My brothers and sisters rallied around to offer words of comfort, but I was inconsolable. Without him, nothing in my world made sense.

  Despite the distress the dream caused me, I didn’t care how often I was visited by it, so long as I could wake and know that soon he would come. The waking was all that mattered. Waking to feel the warmth of the sun streaming through the French doors, my faithful Phantom sleeping at my feet, and the gulls circling above a cerulean sea. The future could wait. We had endured a great trial together, he and I, and survived it. We had emerged scarred but stronger. I couldn’t believe the Heaven I knew could be so cruel as to part us. I didn’t know what the future held, but I knew that we would face it together.

  I’d been an insomniac for weeks now. I sat up in bed and watched the slivers of moonlight drifting across the floor. I’d given up on sleep—every time I closed my eyes, I thought I could feel a hand brushing across my face or sense a dark shape slipping through my doorway. One night I even looked out my window and thought I could see Jake Thorn’s face in the clouds.

  I climbed out of bed and opened the balcony doors. A chilly wind swept through the room, and I saw that black clouds were hanging low in the sky. A storm was coming. It made me wish Xavier was there—I imagined him wrapping his arms around my shoulders and pressing his warm body against mine. I’d feel his lips against my ear, and he’d tell me that everything would be okay and that I’d always be safe. But Xavier wasn’t there, and it was just me, standing alone and feeling the first droplets of rain splatter onto my face. I knew I’d see Xavier in the morning when he came to drive me to school—but morning seemed so far away, and the idea of sitting and waiting in the dark made me feel sick. I leaned against the iron railing of the balcony and sucked in the crisp air. I was wearing nothing but my flimsy cotton nightie, and it billowed around me as the wind tried to knock me off my feet. I could see the sea in the distance; it reminded me of a black sleeping animal. The rippling waves rose and fell almost as if it were breathing. As the howling wind rushed at me, a strange thought entered my head. It was almost as if the wind were trying to lift me up, to make me airborne. I checked the clock radio on my bedside table; it was after midnight, so the whole neighborhood would be asleep. It seemed for a moment as though the whole world belonged to me, and before I knew what was happening, I had lifted myself up and was balancing on the edge of the railing. I stretched my arms above my head. The air was refreshingly cool. I caught a raindrop on my tongue and laughed aloud at how relaxed I suddenly felt. A flash of lightning lit up the horizon where the sky and sea seemed to meet. An inexplicable sense of adventure took hold of me, and I jumped.