Flawed: (A Psychological Dark Romance) (The Dark Necessities Prequels Book 1)

by Felicity Brandon

She shook her head between his hands. “I don’t understand,” she muttered. “Are we dreaming? We are dreaming, right Ethan?”

  His expression hardened, and then that brow arched again, the gesture sending the usual arousal pooling between Lily’s legs. “How do you address me now, little Lily?”

  Her lips parted, but somehow, she couldn’t force out any words.

  “Lily.”

  That low, foreboding tone vibrated over her as his right hand closed in her hair and gently eased her head backwards. Confused, Lily didn’t even think about resisting, and anyway, there was something about that deed—about the way he could control her with such apparent ease—that made her crazy with desire for him. Despite everything she had found out, and despite everything she still wasn’t sure about. There was no denying the chemistry between them. It was magnetic.

  “Sir.” The word slipped out as though she had been trained to respond that way for years, not hours. “I’m sorry, sir. I just don’t understand.”

  The tension in his fingers eased, but the power in his stare did not.

  “Sit,” he told her again, this time accentuating the word as those blue eyes burned into hers. “You’re still pale. I’ll answer those questions, but only when you’re resting.”

  Lily took a step backwards, aware of his hand releasing her as she stumbled toward the chair. Watching her collapse back into the leather for a moment, Ethan reached for the chair opposite, and dragged the massive seat closer toward Lily. Once they were only a couple of feet apart, he settled into his seat, the full weight of that gaze landing over her once more.

  Lily sighed. The pounding in her heart seemed to have spread to her head again, and now that she was back in the chair, Lily felt anything but relaxed. She couldn’t be sleeping then, or, at least she didn’t think she was. None of their dreams had ever been like this before. Even in the most intense interludes, Lily had always felt warm and almost cozy, but that wasn’t the atmosphere now. Despite the rush of desire his touch had provoked, Lily’s body was pumped full of adrenaline. She was wide awake, and she was ready for some answers, starting with where the hell they were.

  “I’ll tell you,” he assured in her in that soft cooing tone that grated so much on her nerves.

  “What?” she asked, blinking into his knowing expression. How had he answered a question she hadn’t even vocalized? Had he been in her head again? Shit, she was starting to hate how Ethan could just do that at will—even when she’d already asked him to stop.

  “Language, Lily,” he muttered in a dark tone. “What have I told you about your language? Don’t forget you’re still due a punishment.”

  “I didn’t even say anything,” she replied in an intentionally exasperated tone. “Please stop! Stop invading my thoughts. They’re private.”

  Ethan leaned toward her. “Not from me,” he told her firmly. “Not anymore.”

  That made her stop, and Lily felt the emotions in her body soar as she tried to process his words. How could that be right? Was she entitled to no privacy, at all?

  “You’ll get used to it,” he answered in an infuriatingly calm tone. “Now calm yourself down and listen.”

  Lily inhaled, trying to clear her mind.

  “You recognize this place, don’t you?”

  “Of course… sir,” she replied, stumbling over his title again for a moment.

  The pause made Ethan smirk, but Lily did her best to ignore his response.

  “The room from our dreams.”

  “Right,” he confirmed with a small nod of his head. “That’s exactly where we are.”

  Lily shook her head. He made that sound so straight-forward, as though it answered all of her queries, but the reality was she was just as confused as ever. “So, we are dreaming?” she probed. “Because, this feels different, and—”

  “We’re not dreaming,” he interjected all of a sudden. “This really is my father’s sitting room.”

  She blinked at him. His father’s sitting room? Had she known that? “You mean we’re really here, sir?”

  Ethan’s eyes closed momentarily. “That’s right,” he concluded after a few seconds. “We’re really here.”

  Chapter Forty-Six

  He watched as the reality washed over her like cold water. Ethan heard Lily’s thoughts scattering as she tried to take the news in, her confusion making his head ache. He knew she didn’t like the way he could step into her thoughts. He knew she found it a violation, but sometimes it was necessary. Like now. It had utterly freaked him out when she’d passed out last night, reminding him of the way his mother had once collapsed right here in the same house. The shock had made him resolute. Ethan had to know what Lily was thinking, and if she wasn’t prepared to share that information—or if she couldn’t share it—then he would go in and assess it for himself.

  She turned her face toward him, those green eyes flickering with all the unspoken emotions. Emotions he could now read for himself, but ones that he would rather hear described from her own lips. “So, this is where your father lived?”

  Lily’s tone was shrouded in disbelief, as though she was expecting to wake up at any moment.

  “It’s where we all lived,” he corrected her. “Kitty, and I, and all of us—when we were younger.”

  Her eyes widened at that. “So, it was your sitting room?” she asked, her eyes darting around the place and taking it all in as though she’d never seen it before.

  He had to push down the smile that wanted to surface at that. How many times had Lily been here, in her head at least? Certainly enough to know the layout of the room already.

  “No,” he corrected her. “It was my father’s. We were never allowed in here.”

  Not then. Not when his father reigned.

  Lily blinked at him. “I don’t get it. Sir.”

  “No,” he replied with a smile. “I never did either, but there you go. My father was a funny man.”

  And he didn’t mean amusing—he meant odd. Just like Ethan. He blinked away the comparison. Ethan might be many things, but he couldn’t cope with the idea he was turning into his father. It was one step too far.

  “So, we’re really here then?” she asked again. “It’s just I’ve been here so many times in my head, but this time it’s real. We’re really here.”

  Lily’s wide-eyed innocence made him smile. “Yes, beautiful,” he cooed from his chair. “We’re really here.”

  “And I’m free?” she murmured, glancing down at her wrists.

  He’d removed the ropes as soon as he’d got her up from the cellar, and had watched her sleeping for hours afterwards. Lily probably had no idea how long she’d been out for, but Ethan had counted every second. Even after he’d checked her pulse every ten minutes, and put her into the recovery position for the first few hours, he still didn’t trust that she was okay. The last time he’d seen a woman lain out on the floor in this house, it had been his mother, and she’d never opened her eyes again.

  “Sir?” The final word pierced though his internal monologue, and Ethan glanced up to meet her enthralling eyes.

  “You were always free,” he told her. “I just needed to ensure your cooperation, and you and I both know how much you enjoy my ropes.”

  Ethan watched as Lily’s face burst into a satisfying red blush on cue.

  “Am I right?” he demanded in a soft tone.

  Her gaze lowered to her wrists, as though Lily needed to check again the binds were gone. “You’re right, sir,” she said with a sigh. “But it scared me as well. Coming here with you.”

  Lily needn’t have told him that. Ethan already knew. He’d looked into the panic of her mind as her legs had given way, and he’d seen the black fear, as well as the vibrant hues of arousal. His little Lily was a wonderful contradiction—just like he was.

  “I want you to have some water,” he replied, intentionally ignoring the point she’d raised. “And some food, and after that, there’s the matter of your punishment, my little flower.” />
  Her eyes widened in protest. “B-but I cooperated?”

  “In the end,” he agreed. “Yes, you did, but only after you’d given me quite the attitude, and as I recall, some rather colorful language.”

  Lily blanched, her thoughts screaming at him although her lips never moved.

  But that’s not fair, she thought. You’d just confessed to killing all those people. How could I not have acted that way? Ethan smiled. Lily was always so preoccupied with the idea of fairness, it made him want to laugh.

  “You could have acted respectfully,” he informed her, although the question had never actually been spoken. “You could be shocked—angry even—and still not be bloody rude.”

  Her lips parted as though she was going to complain, but no words came out.

  “What are you going to do?” The question was so quiet that Ethan barely heard it over the sound of the crackling flames.

  Ethan rose from his seat, reaching for the buckle of his belt. “I need to teach you a lesson that you won’t forget, little one,” he told her in a menacing tone. “So, I think it’s time you met my belt.”

  Panic rose into her throat, sending a cold wave through her limbs and making Lily’s throat dry. His belt—he could not be bloody serious. This was 1969 for God’s sake. No one used discipline like that anymore, and even if they did, the idea was starting to be frowned upon. A bare-bottomed spanking was one thing, but being punished with a belt. There was no way that was happening!

  “Why do you doubt it?” Ethan’s voice reverberated around her. “If they can put men on the moon, then you must know I can take my belt to you, Lily.”

  She pulled in a shaky breath. “But, sir, I…” she hesitated, suddenly unsure of how to get the words out. “Nothing I did was that bad—please.”

  “Perhaps not to you,” he answered as he stalked back to the box he’d brought into the room earlier. Reaching down, he collected two plastic bottles and returned to the place Lily was sitting. He handed one to her, and Lily took the bottle of water from him gingerly.

  “Thank you, sir.”

  Ethan smiled, that devastating smile that always robbed Lily of her breath. “You’re welcome,” he replied, stroking away the stray strands of her hair with his now free hand. “You have to understand how this works, Lily. You might think the crime is not serious, but if I don’t come down hard on the small mistakes, then you’ll never learn. Or, in fact, you will learn, but what you will ascertain is that you can get away with being rude and disrespectful whenever it suits you, and I won’t have that.”

  He looked deadly serious as he explained himself to Lily, his expression fierce as he finally concluded.

  “But, please,” she repeated, sensing that his mind was already made up, and her objections were futile, but somehow, she had no choice but to continue anyhow. “I can’t cope with your belt. I just can’t.”

  “Drink your water,” he instructed as he twisted the cap on his own bottle. “Drink your water, and be a good girl. I know this is your first time with the belt, and I’m prepared to go easy on you.”

  Easy? The word rang out like a sick joke. How could having a belt aimed at your arse ever be called easy? Yet, that now seemed to be her fate, and as Lily glanced down at the small bottle of water in her hands, she wondered how she would ever survive it.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  In the end, Ethan had to practically force the liquid down her throat. He knew she was nervous about the punishment, but he also knew it had been hours since she’d last consumed anything at all, and that meant she needed food and rehydration.

  “Can you manage anything to eat?” he asked as she gulped down more of the water.

  “No, I’m sorry, sir,” she mumbled. “I feel really sick.”

  He smiled to himself as she used his title. At least she was using it. He reiterated what he already knew—Lily could learn when she wanted to. He made his way back toward the box, finding the packet of sweet biscuits he’d found in the car. They would need more supplies if they were going to stay—and soon—but this would do for now.

  “Not even a biscuit?” he demanded, stooping to collect the packet. “I’ll even have one with you.”

  Lily pulled in a shaky breath. “I’m sorry,” she breathed as her gaze fell over the shiny packaging. “I just can’t right now.”

  He nodded, showing that he could be understanding, and after all, Ethan did comprehend. Lily was still in shock. She’d been through an awful lot in the last twelve hours, and now he was promising her his belt. He was more than aware of why she responded the way she did, but still, it changed nothing. Her lack of appetite wouldn’t save Lily from her fate, and in the end, he’d still make sure she ate.

  “Afterwards then,” he mused aloud as he stalked back to the seat she was sitting in.

  Perched right on the edge of the seat, Lily was practically trembling.

  “But you will need to eat, Lily. Do you understand?”

  She looked up, meeting his stern gaze with large eyes. “Okay, sir,” she replied. “I’m done with the water.”

  His eyes fell over the empty bottle, and he nodded approvingly. “Good. Now, get up, and whip that skirt off. You can turn around and bend over the chair while I deliver the strokes.”

  Lily’s eyes filled with tears. “How many, sir?”

  Her gaze was at the leather around his waistband, and as though her eyes had willed it, Ethan’s hands shifted to the belt at once, easing it from its position and curling the length around his right hand.

  “Not many,” he told her in what he hoped was a reassuring tone. He wanted to punish Lily, and he wanted to send a message to her about what happened when she chose to be rude and disrespectful, but his primary objectives hadn’t changed. Ethan wasn’t in this to inflict real harm, and he didn’t want to make her cower—only understand the consequences of her actions.

  A small, rational part of his brain snorted at that thought. How ironic, it drawled. Ethan wants to teach Lily about the consequences of her actions, but he doesn’t want to face the implications of his own. Or dwell on the reasons he’d fucked up in the first place.

  Ethan inhaled at that. Frankly, the analysis was too shrewd to do much else.

  “No more than you can bear,” he said again, drawing nearer to offer Lily his large palm. “Now, come on, don’t keep me waiting.”

  Lily knew what he wanted, he had already been perfectly clear on that. He wanted her to stand up and strip off her skirt, before bending over the chair—the very chair that Lily had been relaxing in just before he’d returned—but no matter how many times she replayed the instruction in her head, Lily just couldn’t get her body to cooperate.

  “Lily.”

  The low timbre of his voice made her push the air even faster in and out of her lungs. It was like a reflexive response Lily just couldn’t fight.

  “I’m sorry, sir,” she panted. “I’m going. I just can’t—”

  She halted there, unable, or maybe unsure what to say next. Ethan crouched down, his gaze meeting hers, and the look in those eyes blazing with intensity.

  “Do you need me to help you?”

  Lily gulped at that, but it seemed like a fair question. Did she need him to help her legs uncurl from her torso? Maybe she did. He reached his palms out in front of her, presumably in an act designed to help her move, but as Lily inhaled, all she could do was eye the giant hands. They had already brought her so much pleasure—and pain—that just the sight of them at this proximity made her short of breath. And that didn’t include any of the things they had done to other people. Unspeakable things.

  “Sir, I… I’m sorry,” she gasped. “I’m not intentionally trying to piss you off, I swear it.”

  “Just accidentally?”

  His retort made her eyes fall closed, and for a moment Lily tried to absorb everything that had happened to her in the last day. How the fuck had she gotten here? How had they gotten to this place as a couple—a situation where she was e
ssentially his captive, although that couldn’t be right, could it? Lily had come here willingly, despite the binds. As crazy as it sounded, she’d chosen to trust Ethan, and even now, she knew she still trusted him. She didn’t agree with this punishment, and she sure as hell didn’t like it, but she trusted him to do as he said—not to take it too far—not to really harm her.

  Lily shook her head at that thought. He wants to hit you with his belt, the small nagging voice in her head reminded her curtly—his belt! How can that not harm you, Lily? How can that be painless?

  It couldn’t, she decided at once. Being struck with a belt had to hurt like fuck, yet it seemed she was resigned to it, and the craziest part of all was, on some level—the deepest, most base part hidden in her brain—she thought she might actually deserve it.

  “Lily.”

  The sound of Ethan’s voice drew her eyes open again, and she found him there, those deep blue eyes impatient.

  “I’m done waiting,” he told her in a firm tone. “Either you move into position now, just like I asked you, or I start adding strokes.”

  The threat of that added pain appeared to be the missing impetus she needed, and Lily found her limbs moving all at once in an attempt to please him. She moved so fast that she nearly landed on top of him, but Ethan read her body language as effortlessly as he seemed to be able to penetrate her mind, and he leapt backwards, out of the way of her cascading limbs. Once she was out of the chair, things seemed easier, though Lily had no idea why. Her response wasn’t logical, but so few things were now, that it barely mattered anymore. Rising to her feet, she unfastened the skirt and slid it down the length of her legs, before discarding her tights and panties, and turning around to face the chair.

  “Lean over it,” he instructed. “You can rest a hand on each arm of the chair.”

  Lily nodded as she inched herself toward the thing. It almost felt like she was on autopilot. She knew she was moving, and on some level, she knew why, but there was still a large part of her that vehemently did not want to comply. That part of her understood the end game. Ethan was going to wallop her with his belt, and it was going to be more than she could stand. Lily was sure of that.