Flawed: (A Psychological Dark Romance) (The Dark Necessities Prequels Book 1)

by Felicity Brandon

  Lily lifted her head to acknowledge her name, but that was all. There were no words, and her eyes didn’t meet the dark blue oceans of his. All she knew was that she couldn’t deal with him at the moment. She couldn’t deal with his mind-fucks, with his searing intensity and the discipline, combined with the self-confessed killings, and all wrapped up in the stunning, brooding package of Ethan. And if he was reading her thoughts right at that moment and discovered how she felt, then so be it. Lily didn’t have the inclination to feign it, and she certainly didn’t have the energy.

  “You’re sulking.” His words resonated around her head.

  Sulking? Is that what she was doing?

  “Yes,” he assured her, though once again Lily hadn’t even opened her mouth to respond verbally.

  “No, sir.” Her response was curt.

  Ethan tilted his head at her. Lily caught sight of the motion in her peripheral vision. “No?” he repeated. “Then what do you call this?”

  Her gaze rose to meet his for the first time since she crawled to her place on the rug. Reeling, she thought, hoping that the word conveyed without her having to say it out loud. Coping—barely.

  He narrowed his eyes at her, suggesting that he had indeed heard the words. “You deserved it,” he muttered, as he turned his head back toward the fire.

  “I did not!” she hissed, and even as the words left her lips, Lily knew how petulant she sounded, but she didn’t care. “I didn’t deserve this, and I don’t want it.”

  Lily had rarely been so bold with him before, and the shock on his face demonstrated the point without any words.

  “I think we may be way past what you want, Lily,” he replied with a dark chuckle.

  The insinuation of that statement made anger simmer within her blood. “Why?” she was saying as she pulled herself to her knees. “Why are we past that? When did we get past that?”

  Ethan’s eyes widened a fraction, but the cool, controlled demeanor returned to his face just a moment later. “Everything changed when you found out the truth,” he mumbled. “And now everything has to change.”

  The knot of old energy twisted in her stomach. She was still angry—furious actually—that a man who claimed to care for her could do this. It was one thing admitting to the murder of other women, but Lily had to confess, on some level she just couldn’t take it in. She couldn’t match up the man who had brought her home from work every day, and the man who had so wonderfully plucked away her virginity, with the monster who’d been described in the newspapers. Apparently, it was a stretch too far for her head, even when she heard it come from Ethan’s own lips. Mingling with that anger now though was that old sense of dread.

  “It doesn’t, sir,” she insisted, as she hobbled over to the place he was sitting. “It doesn’t have to change.”

  Ethan met the urgency of her tone with what looked like a wistful smile, and Lily pounced on it. If he was thoughtful, that was a good sign. She knew he was an intelligent man, and thoughtful meant there was hope. Hope of getting out of this house. Hope of getting home. Hope of never having to feel the sting of that belt again.

  “You’ve punished me now.” Lily’s voice trembled as she articulated the concept. “It’s done, and now you can take me home. I don’t know what the time is, but perhaps if we leave now I can be back for dinner, and my parents won’t be any the wiser?”

  At that moment, the idea of sharing a meal with her parents was all consuming, like a beacon of light in a dark night—the only thing Lily had left to hold onto.

  “No,” he told her in a cold, firm tone that splintered that small beacon in Lily’s head. “You’re not going back to your parents, Lily. You’re staying here with me.”

  Lily’s heart began to race. “But, I can’t,” she countered. “I can’t stay here with you, Ethan. I have a home, a job—a life!”

  The expression on his face hardened. “I am your life,” he practically hissed at her. “What else have you got going for you, Lily? Parents who stifle you and drive you mad? A job that doesn’t satisfy you, and if you mean friends, then to whom could you possibly be referring?”

  Ethan paused, twisting his body in her direction. All of a sudden, it seemed as though every ounce of his energy was focused on her—fixed on Lily.

  She swallowed at the intensity of the look in those dark eyes. “Jody?”

  The name of her friend surfaced on command, but Ethan only broke into laughter at the sound of it.

  “Jody?” he called out, shaking his head as he rose from the chair. “Jody isn’t your friend, Lily. Where has she been since that night on the street? How many times has she spoken to you? How many times has she given a damn?”

  His words were like a hard slap in the face, and even though Ethan never even took a step toward Lily, she recoiled at them, her hands rising to her cheeks as though he had just smacked her. There were tears burning in her eyes as his questions reverberated. Ethan was right. Where had Jody been? She’d barely spoken to Lily in recent days. In fact, ever since Jody had found out that Lily had been dating Ethan, she’d slinked into the corners of Lily’s world, never so much as offering a kind word. The reality of that stung, almost as much as Ethan’s belt had done—maybe more.

  “I still can’t stay,” she mumbled, embarrassed at the show of emotion in her voice.

  That was ridiculous in its own right. There she was, naked from the waist down, having just been disciplined with his belt, and now she was embarrassed to show how upset she was? Lily wanted to laugh at how pathetic she’d become.

  “My parents will worry,” she continued. “They’ll call the police.”

  “There’ll be no need for the police,” Ethan assured her.

  Lily shook her head at him, wiping the hot tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. “You don’t know them, sir,” she muttered. “They’ll call them regardless.”

  Ethan rose, taking a step toward her. “It doesn’t matter,” he told her. “You’re not a baby any more, Lily, regardless of how they choose to treat you.”

  Lily took a deep breath at his sudden proximity. She may have been the one who’d come to him, but now that he was looming over her again, she wasn’t sure how she felt about the concept. On the one hand, she longed for his touch, for the tenderness of it, for the salvation she knew it could bring her, but on the other hand, she was still pissed with Ethan for using the belt. And it was more than just that. She couldn’t understand why he’d brought her here at all. Why didn’t he trust her? And if he didn’t, then why had he divulged his disturbing secrets to her at all?

  Ethan’s hand reached for her, hovering just beyond her face. No doubt, he could tell how conflicted she was on the subject. No doubt, he was reading her confusion on it at that very moment.

  “I’m not twenty-one yet,” she replied, and she noticed how monotonic her voice had become. It was as though she was acting on some sort of autopilot.

  “You don’t need to be twenty-one anymore, Lily,” he said in that soft, alluring tone that made her heady. “This is 1969, the Act of Representation is being passed. You’re old enough to vote now, beautiful, and a whole lot more besides.”

  A flicker of lust burned in his eyes, and in spite of every reason Lily had to despise him, she couldn’t ignore it. In fact, she actually felt the throb of her clitoris between her legs, her body responding to him without her permission. Like the ultimate betrayal.

  “What are you saying?” she whispered.

  Lily had wanted to sound defiant in the face of his implication, but somehow, she just didn’t have the strength.

  “I’m saying it’s not up your parents,” he went on. “Call them and tell them you’re staying at a friend’s, or that you’re moving on. It doesn’t matter. Just make it clear that you’re not coming home. There’s not a damned thing they can do about it.”

  Lily’s throat dried at that. All of a sudden, it was all clear. This had been his plan all along. It must have been. To isolate her and then keep her a
ll to himself. With no access to her family, and her routines, Lily would be little more than his plaything, there only to fuck and discipline whenever he wanted. Her heart jumped into her throat as the realization washed over her. She was in real trouble now. There was nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide, hell, Lily didn’t even know where they were. Ethan could keep her here as long as he wanted, and he could do anything to her. She couldn’t even keep her thoughts to herself anymore. Lily was utterly exposed. Bared to Ethan in every possible way. She bit down hard on her bottom lip until she tasted blood.

  She was fucked, and Lily knew it. So, why then, did the prospect make her so hot and wet?

  Chapter Fifty

  “How’s that arse now?” he asked, a smirk falling over his face.

  “It’s fine,” Lily lied, but she didn’t know why she bothered.

  Ethan was already moving, on his way around her body to inspect the damage for himself. “Ouch,” he said, exaggerating the words for dramatic effect. “That does look sore, but fucking hot as well.”

  Lily spun around to meet his eye. “What?” she hissed. “How is this hot?”

  His brow arched at her query. That sentiment was ridiculous coming from Lily. Ethan knew how much she had hated his belt, but he also knew how wet the treatment had made her. Hell, he could practically smell her arousal from where he stood, and besides, he knew exactly what she was thinking; he knew his little Lily was horny.

  “They’re my marks,” he told her gently. “And they look great on your pert, little behind. You’ll wear those marks for me over the coming days, and every time you feel them, they’ll remind you of me—and of why you deserved them.”

  “I didn’t deserve them,” she muttered, the petulance still evident in her tone, even now.

  He lifted his hand as he brought it crashing down upon her left cheek. It wasn’t the hardest swat he’d ever delivered, but given how tender her behind must have been, Ethan wasn’t surprised at the way Lily leapt into the air.

  “Oww!” she yelled, and the look in Lily’s eyes was fierce.

  Ethan loved that about her. All of that fierceness and intensity—all wrapped up in her diminutive frame.

  “That hurts!”

  “Good,” he spat back a her. “I want it to hurt, and I want you to remember why it hurts—what will happen the next time you’re disrespectful.”

  “Don’t.”

  Her tone was resolute, surprising really when he held all the cards, but then Lily had always erred toward the audacious.

  “Don’t?” he queried, squeezing the hot orbs of her arse gently before he skimmed an invisible line up the smooth, flawless skin of her back.

  “Please, don’t… sir,” she gasped.

  Now, that was more like it.

  “Don’t what, Lily?” Ethan kept his voice low, intentionally choosing to let it vibrate down the length of her body.

  “Please don’t read my mind.” Lily’s voice was almost hoarse. “I can’t bear it. I can’t bear it anymore.”

  That made him smile, because she would bear it. She’d be bearing it for as long as he demanded it.

  “If you want me to stop, then you have to start being more honest with me,” he told her. “If you tell me what I need to know, then I won’t have to go searching for it.”

  She nodded. “I’ll try,” she answered in a breathy tone. “But, please, sir. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what you want from me.”

  Ethan licked his lips. “Yes, you do, beautiful,” he crooned, shifting his hand back to that sore behind. His fingers traced a line over one of the red marks covering her left cheek, and he watched as her eyes registered the pain. That look—just that one flicker of hurt—was enough to make Ethan’s cock rock solid.

  “Now?” Lily’s voice sounded so small. “But it hurts, sir. I hurt.”

  His lips grazed over the top of her mouth. “Have you forgotten how it works already?” he probed. “Bad girls are rewarded with the pain, but good girls get a different reward, don’t they, Lily?”

  She blinked up at him. “Yes, sir.”

  “What do good girls get, Lily?”

  Lily’s lips parted, her body physically shaking as he pulled her flush against his groin. “I don’t know,” she rasped. “Sir, I don’t know.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  She swallowed, but Lily’s eyes were large and dilated as she processed his question. She did know the answer, but Lily was just too afraid to say it.

  “Tell me, little Lily,” he goaded. “Tell me the answer, and then you can have it.”

  “Sir, please.”

  “Tell me.” His tone was hard and unrelenting. He wanted her to give him the answer. He needed Lily to say it. “Tell me what good girls get.”

  “Pleasure.” The word escaped from her hot little mouth as though it was a sin itself. “Good girls get pleasure.”

  “And have you been good, Lily?” Ethan purred. “Did you take my belt like a good girl?”

  Lily nodded, her eyes blinking wildly at him.

  “Words, beautiful,” he replied with a smile. “Didn’t you just ask me not to read your mind?”

  “Yes,” she answered in barely a whisper. “Yes, I took your belt, sir. I hated it, but I took it.”

  Her features screwed into an ugly ball as she recalled the punishment, and even his hand at her arse couldn’t seem to placate her. There was that passion again, that unyielding part of Lily that would never surrender, no matter how hard he pushed. You didn’t always get that in a woman. Ethan knew that from first-hand experience, and the fact his little Lily had it made him want her all the more.

  “Yes, you did,” he told her. “And now you get rewarded. Get down on the rug.”

  Lily’s nostrils flared at the command. “On my backside, sir?” she almost hissed.

  He chuckled at that, permitting his free hand to rise to her chin. “Not this time, beautiful,” he responded. “Strip off the rest of those clothes. This time you’re on your belly.”

  She was out of her remaining clothes, and down on the rug in a matter of moments, pulling herself free of his pawing hand, despite the hurt the movement caused her. At that moment, all Lily could think about was the pleasure. Yes, everything else still remained the same—the anger, the fear, the confusion—they were all still there in her head. She still wanted to be free of the place. Lily didn’t like it here, and she didn’t like the effect it seemed to have on her lover.

  Lily lowered herself into its soft warmth, more than aware of the shiver that ran down her spine.

  “What now, sir?” she murmured as her stomach hit the fibers of the rug.

  “Now you have to trust me again.”

  His response startled Lily, and she twisted in the rug to see his powerful frame looming over her. In his right hand hung the black ropes he had bound her with before, and just the look of those strands made her anxiety skyrocket.

  “You’re going to tie me again?” she gasped, though she didn’t know why she asked. That much was obvious.

  “If you want the pleasure,” he replied softly.

  Fuck it, she thought as her mind flitted through the options. What did she want the most? To be free, or to be pleasured? The question sounded preposterous, and it was. It was obvious which Lily should seek the most. So, why was she still lying on the rug, and why were her hips grinding into its surface?

  “Your choice,” he went on from behind her. “But make it now, Lily. Or, I make it for you.”

  Lily’s head fell forward. It was going to be the pleasure. It was always going to be the pleasure—that was the curse of Ethan. He was impossible to deny—an irresistible force that she just could not resist.

  “Where do you want me?” She barely recognized the tone of her own voice as the question slid from her lips.

  “Wrists together behind your back,” he responded at once. “Just like before.”

  Lily gulped before she moved, but she moved nonetheless, her hands linking in the small
of her back, just as he’d requested. She felt the ropes immediately, that soft taunting sensation of the strands as they snaked around her wrists. Lily knew that sensation should provoke fear, and on some level she supposed it did, but it also elicited something just as potent—her unstoppable desire.

  “Just relax now,” he told her in a soothing tone. “Face down in the rug, and stick that arse up in the air. I’m going to give you all the pleasure you need.”

  She obeyed in a heartbeat. Now that the ropes were back in place, there was simply nothing else to do, and anyway, she wanted that pleasure, she sought it, and she deserved it, too.

  Every last ounce of it.

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Even after everything that had happened between them, the intimacy, his admission, and bringing her here, her surrender was still sensational to survey. Ethan’s cock ached with need at the look of her red arse in the air , but this wasn’t about his pleasure—this was all about Lily’s. Against all odds, she had chosen to trust him again. It barely made sense to him, but it was still true, and he didn’t intend to misuse that fragile miracle. Lily would have her pleasure—he’d give her more than she’d ever taken before—more than she could handle— because, right now, that’s all he had.

  There was no plan. Ethan didn’t know what he was going to do beyond the next few hours. He’d meant what he said about keeping her, but he still wasn’t clear to what extent that was going to be possible. He could make her call her parents. He’d done that before, but they’d need more than just biscuits and water if they were going to survive, and that meant leaving the house—going out and being seen, and Lily’s cooperation. And even in this moment of sweet surrender, he wasn’t sure if he could rely on that.

  “You are so fucking gorgeous,” Ethan enthused as he lowered himself to his knees behind her.

  Her plump pussy glistened before him, her arousal obvious even through her thatch of dark hair.

  “Spread your legs.”