Blood of the Sea Omnibus

by Heather Renee

  I wasn’t a bad person. I did what I felt was right in any given situation, instead of blindly forging ahead with no thought to the people around me. Everything I did was with the people I cared about in mind, which is the exact opposite of what I had grown up knowing.

  Tightly-coiled tension eased in a tucked away part of myself, and I sighed. I wasn’t perfect. Forgiving myself for thinking and expecting those things was a huge step in the right direction.

  Now, to tackle the other thing that was holding me back: doubt.

  After closer consideration, I concluded that my doubt stemmed from fear. Fear for myself and who I was becoming. I hadn’t known who I was back on Port Victory, when I was still betrothed to Pierce. My identity was defined by my future and what I would become. It was the same now, but instead of becoming the lady of Pierce’s plantation, I was a strange half-vampire, half-human, with the purest venom that seemed to be a gift and a curse.

  My ears picked up the sound of someone approaching my location, but I ignored them, too absorbed in my own thoughts to care. I was determined to work through my issues alone, and hopefully come out stronger than I had been when I started.

  A stray ocean breeze blew by, tossing my dark hair about my face and making me wish I had thought to braid it when I changed earlier. The scent that accompanied the wind filtered through my nose, announcing my unexpected visitor was Solomon—another complication in what had become my life.

  Stifling a sigh, I continued to ignore him, even when he sat down beside me. I hated to admit it, but I was sort of glad he had come. His scent and presence comforted me. Though, I wasn’t ready to say the thoughts out loud. It was still a struggle to reconcile that Solomon was also Tobias, the man I had grown up believing was my father. He had spent nearly two decades fighting a rising tide. I could only imagine what he must have seen and experienced during those long years alone, fighting the overwhelming urges. He was a much stronger man than I let myself give him credit for.

  Turning my body slightly, I studied his profile. He looked exactly how I remembered him—the vampire venom causing him to age much slower than his human body would have—tall and muscular, with flaxen hair that he wore long and tied in a tail at the base of his head. To this day, I remembered my mother running her hands through the strands when he held her, after they thought I had gone to bed. Her smile had been one of absolute adoration when she looked at him. There had been no mistaking that she loved him dearly, as I had.

  Solomon’s russet eyes took in the watery horizon. I had once thought that my eye color had come from him since my mother’s didn’t match mine, but now that I knew who my birth father was, I realized a new truth. It stood to reason that I had inherited Prime’s eye color, though I had never been able to confirm that as they were always a steady shade of red.

  It seemed there wasn’t much I knew about either man, but when we were on Prime’s ship and I stabbed him twice in the chest, I had chosen a side—and a father. Given how my life had developed, and how I had been abandoned, I had every reason to take Prime’s side, but I didn’t. I chose another path. One I was uncertain of and filled me with doubts and fears, threatening to choke me and destroy everything I had worked so hard to become.

  “Your mother used to sit on the beach and stare at the horizon like this,” Solomon confessed, finally breaking the silence between us. “That’s how I met her. She was sitting on the sand, her purple dress spread out around her and her shoes off, her toes digging into the wet sand. I mistook her for a siren at first, come to punish me with her beauty, but the expression on her face tore a part of me. She looked so sad and lonely. I couldn’t imagine what type of monster would put such a look on her face, but I instantly knew that, whoever it was, they were not worth another second of her sorrow.”

  My aunt had talked very little about my mother, and hearing Solomon talk so freely about her filled my heart with emotions I couldn’t pinpoint.

  “I was determined to see her smile, not just then, but forever. I wanted her to be joyful no matter the cost, and for a time, I succeeded. She became my whole world, and when you were born, it was as if my existence was complete. I had everything I could ever want or need. I was happy.”

  A small smile spread across his face as he lost himself in the memories, and I hung on every word he spoke. Though, when he began speaking again, his grin faded away.

  “Then, I lost everything. In one night, I lost my wife and my daughter. I wanted to die. I begged the Sea Witch to kill me, because continuing to live as a vampire without my family was something I did not want. I almost told her no, almost threw away the second chance she was giving me, but the thought of letting that monster that killed your mother and turned me continue to live gave me pause. You were safe and still alive, but what if he found you, or one of his vampires did?”

  Taking a few deep breaths to calm his rising ire, Solomon ran his fingers through his hair and gathered his composure.

  “I couldn’t give up on life, knowing the world you were in was no longer protected. So, I agreed to keep living. I was determined to make this world a safe place for you to live in. Though, I didn’t realize then how long that would take. There is no way to predict the future, and I’m sorry that you have been led down this path. As I’ve said before, it’s not something I ever wanted for you.”

  Grabbing my hand, he made sure he had my full attention, while I hung on his every word. The wall I had built to keep him out was crumbling down with each passing moment.

  “I have remained pure, hoping one day I would see your mother in the afterlife, and that there would come a time when we would be together again. That’s what I live for… what I fight for. Now, I can see the conflict going on inside you, and although I wish I could take it all away for you, this is your own path. You know yourself. You know your heart. You just need to stop doubting it and figure out what you want to live and fight for. You may be Prime’s daughter by blood, but you are also your mother’s. You have more of her in you than you do him. Never forget that.”

  Hot tears streamed down my face with his words. We hadn’t mentioned my mother since reuniting, but hearing him talk about her now, though painful, made me want to hear more. No, I needed to hear more. His confession put what he had been through into perspective, making me feel awful for how I had treated him. I called him a coward once, but that was the furthest thing from the truth. Besides Jameson, I never had anyone looking out for my best interest, or so I had thought. Turns out I’d had someone there all along.

  Hesitantly, I reached out and gently placed my hand on his arm. He tensed slightly but relaxed after a moment. We sat there in silence while I thought about all he had shared with me and tried to gather my thoughts again.

  “Thank you for coming to find me. It means a lot to know more about what happened before,” I whispered, feeling like he needed to hear that from me.

  He placed his other hand on top of mine and squeezed. With that gesture, I knew that he had not only heard what I said, but also understood it. If anyone knew how out of sorts I felt, it was him. He had no control over anything that he had been through, but despite that, he was still fighting, still pushing against the currents that bombarded him with every step. I admired him for his tenacity, and I realized that, though he may not be my father by blood, I had gotten at least one of his traits.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, after an extended amount of time sitting in comfortable silence.

  I sighed heavily, trying to decide where to begin.

  “I feel like I’m being split in two,” I began, my eyes fixed on the now-setting sun, casting its fiery rays across the sea. “On one side is the version of me that the venom wants me to be, fearless and confident. On the other, is the ‘me’ I grew up to be, and my humanity. It’s like I’m being made to choose one or the other. I know I need my vampire’s strength and ruthlessness to defeat Prime, but I fear by doing so, I’ll lose my empathy and compassion… and that’s too high of a price t
o pay.”

  He nodded, weighing my words carefully. “How do you feel about what Evander said, that side of you not being bad but actually a gift from the Sea Witch?”

  A shallow laugh escaped my lips at the question. “While growing up, I learned quickly that every gift has conditions, or consequences, we can’t see at the time. My uncle bought me a new dress before taking me for a ride into town, and then introduced me to Pierce. No gift is ever given freely. The Sea Witch may seem neutral in all of this, but she still allowed it to happen.”

  “I see your point, but you’re forgetting about free will. She might have gifted Prime with becoming a vampire, but it was he who decided to become what he is now. No one influenced his actions or his behavior, and putting the blame on her is not fair. I’m not saying she isn’t at fault to an extent, but we don’t know the whole story.”

  “Your compassion is still intact,” I mused, trying to remain stubborn, but his words were making more sense as we continued talking.

  “You forget that I’ve felt the same darkness that you are feeling. What helped me keep my humanity while simultaneously embracing the darkness was the light that remained inside me. You and your mother are my light, and though darkness aids me in this fight, it cannot rid me of its opposite unless I allow it.”

  His words warmed my heart and I knew he was right. I needed to find a balance with the darkness within me. I thought of all the people who were my light. Little Nettie with flour on her nose, Alice and her steadfast friendship, Solomon for never abandoning me even when I accused him of doing so, and Jameson for loving me despite what I had become. That was more than enough light to balance out the darkness. I just needed to remember them when I was feeling overwhelmed.

  “I’m here for you now, whenever you need me. I promise I won’t leave you again.”

  With a final squeeze of my hand, Solomon stood and walked back toward the lights of the estate —they could just be made out in the quickly-fading sunlight. I watched him disappear into the shadows before turning back to the dark ocean that spread out before me. I had learned so much about myself in my time on the beach. I was both overwhelmed and happy that I had made so many breakthroughs today. Finally, I was well on my way to figuring out all of this.

  As the moon ascended in the night sky, I thought more about Solomon’s earlier words regarding the light and dark we had within us. Deciding to try something new, I searched out my darkness, bringing it to the forefront of my mind. Though, instead of embracing it as I had been practicing all day, I paused its progression and searched out the light Solomon had mentioned.

  I pictured Jameson, Alice, Henry, Nathan, Nettie, and even Solomon. Thinking of the happiness they brought to my life, I closed my eyes and called for my humanity. I had no idea if what I was doing was right. I hadn’t asked Solomon if he had used both halves of himself at once, but I followed what felt right, and it seemed to be working.

  A spark lit within me. It was dim and struggled against the darkness that was my vampire side, but I sensed its growing strength, and I continued to stoke the flame. Urging it forward, the light grew without much effort on my part. I had no idea how long I had been sitting there, trying to force two opposites together, but I wouldn’t stop trying until I accomplished it.

  Evander had said I needed to find my true self, and this was it. I was both human and vampire, and the two needed to be one for me to succeed in the war we were facing.

  My stamina was fading, but the light was growing, and I refused to lose my momentum, so I dug deeper within and pushed. Taking less than a minute break, I gathered up the last of my strength and let go of the two opposites.

  As the two energies collided, something exploded inside me, urging a scream of agony out of me. Pain ricocheted through me like nothing I had ever felt, and my mind decided to take the hurt away by rendering me unconscious.

  Alone, in the dark and on the beach, I had finally succumbed to my true self, but I had no idea if it was a good thing as reality slipped further and further away from me.

  Chapter 7

  Cool liquid splashed over my face and I sputtered, turning over before I choked. Hands grasped at my arms, helping me to roll on my side as reality began to return. Glancing up, I saw three sets of very concerned eyes staring down at me.

  “Why am I covered in water?” Peeking around, I found I was in the living room, with no recollection of how I got there. “And why am I on the floor?”

  Jameson’s chest rumbled. “You were gone well past dark and I began to worry, so we went looking for you. When we found you, your heart wasn’t beating. I raced you back to the house, and Alice suggested the water.”

  She shrugged as my eyes met hers. “I’d say I’m sorry, but it worked, so I’m really not.”

  Shaking my head, I faced Jameson. “What happened?”

  “We were hoping you could tell us that. Solomon said he left you on the beach, and you would likely be back soon. After the sun fully set, I started to get worried. I was trying to respect your space, but an hour had passed, so we decided to check on you. You don’t remember anything?”

  Wracking my mind for what had transpired earlier in the day was harder than I thought. I remembered speaking with Evander and heading out on my own for some self-reflection, but it hadn’t been working and I was frustrated.

  “I came to see you. Do you recall our conversation?” Solomon’s voice was strained, and I felt as if my answer was really important to him.

  I couldn’t remember, but I tried harder, knowing there was something to find. Closing my eyes, I blocked out everything in the room and focused as best I could on my memories. My body seemed stronger, almost humming with energy. The darkness within me wasn’t present, and I tried not to be worried about the new sensations I was feeling, or lack thereof.

  My fingers rubbed the sides of my temples as glimpses of my conversation with Solomon returned. It took longer than I would have liked, but within a few minutes, the memory played in my mind with clarity.

  Jerking my head, my eyes widened at Solomon, and he smiled at me in approval.

  “I’m glad you were able to work it out,” he offered gently.

  “Work what out? What the hell happened?” Jameson snapped.

  Grasping his hand in mine, I pulled him closer. “Try to calm down. Everything is all right now.”

  “It wasn’t before?” he asked, confused.

  “Well, it was, but now it’s better. Evander was right, and so were you. Though, it was Solomon’s words that finally pieced everything together for me.”

  “Pieced what together?” Jameson’s gaze bounced between Solomon and me, frustration growing by the second.

  Alice leaned in closer. “Do you need me to step out?” There was a sliver of hurt in her eyes.

  “Of course not.” I hurriedly dashed away her worries. “Sorry, I’m not doing well at explaining. Solomon?” I hoped he had the words I couldn’t seem to be able to find.

  “I believe Lavinia has fully transformed to her vampire self and accepted the darkness as a part of her, instead of fighting against it or fearing it would get out of control.”

  “How did you do that?” Jameson asked me.

  I glanced to Solomon, and my lips curved into a thankful smile.

  “I remembered all of the light I had in my life, and realized there was no reason why the two couldn’t work together inside me—both my humanity and my vampire side. Initially, I fought against the change because I was afraid of losing who I was, but Solomon helped me realize I didn’t have to. Really, it’s been all of you and your support these last couple of months that finally brought me full circle. I couldn’t have done it without each of you.”

  Henry called Alice from downstairs in that moment, and she seemed torn between going to him and staying with me.

  “Go. We can catch up later. I promise everything is fine.”

  She moved in front of Jameson, pushing him out of the way, and bent down to wrap her arms around me. �
��You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear that.”

  Once she was gone, Solomon excused himself as well, stating it was late and tomorrow would be an equally lengthy day. He was right, as long as I could bond with Jameson’s dagger to find the Sea Witch. If not, we were right back where we started, with no fresh ideas.

  “Come on. Let’s go back to our room, so you can get out of your wet clothes.” Jameson pulled me up, and I gladly let him take on most of my weight. Even though my insides hummed with new energy, my physical body was exhausted.

  When we were back in our room, Jameson guided me onto the bed and motioned for me to stay put. He strode to the wardrobe, found my sleepwear, and brought it to me. Though, instead of handing me the clothes, he set them just out of reach at the edge of the bed. Then, his eyes met mine seeming to ask permission as his hands went for my top.

  My nod was slight, as more emotions rolled through me. Jameson had always been good at taking care of me, but never this intimately, and I was certain I would explode if he didn’t move faster. It only took that one gesture and gone was the exhaustion I was feeling just moments before.

  As my shirt came off, Jameson reached for my nightgown, but I grasped his hand. “Don’t.”

  Both of his hands cupped my cheeks. “Lavinia, I love you and I want what you want more than you possibly know, but I won’t be the one to break you. It’s been a long day and I think your body needs rest more than it does passion. When it’s time, I want it to be perfect, so we won’t have to worry about a single thing else.”

  His chivalry was going to be the death of me.

  “Jameson, I love you, too, but I’m begging you to understand that I need this. My entire being needs this. I won’t be complete until we are.”

  His brows knitted together. “If I hurt you, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. What if—”