Breaking Barriers

by Bob Dattolo

  I pictured her going room to room, begging for handouts like some little orphan girl, and it broke my heart. My blood ran cold at the alternatives, but I can’t really keep denying things, even in my own head. I’m a supernatural.

  Hell, I’m such a weird supernatural that most people have no clue what I even am.

  I drank blood earlier. Granted, I only drank it outright from one, but I tasted it from two others. How can I deny someone like Rachel food when I did the same thing? I didn’t let it go through my head too many times before I blurted out. “You can feed from me.”

  Steph gasped and froze mid-sit, before collapsing into her chair. “Fuck, I wasn’t expecting that.”

  Rachel studied my face. “Why are you offering? Aren’t you terrified of me? Of us?”

  I fought looking away. “I am. Or, I am and I’m not. I can’t even explain how I feel right now. I can’t deny that I’m a supernatural as well, no matter how much I want to. And I drank blood earlier. How can I think it’s gross when I did it myself? And…I can’t let you go out there begging for food when I can offer. How can I second guess why someone wouldn’t offer it to you if I’m not willing to do it myself?”

  Her face softened through my explanation. “You’d really do this for me? What would you want in payment?”

  I shook my head. “Nothing in payment.” Almost every part of me wanted to find a flogger and whip myself bloody, but I didn’t. “I…I just don’t know how to do this.”

  Her smile was rather freaky, with her fangs peeking out. “I can feed from pretty much anywhere? Neck and wrist are the most popular, unless we do it during sex.”

  I snorted at that. “Okay, neck or wrist. Your choice, I guess?”

  She looked between my wrist and neck. “Okay. Do you want it to feel good?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I can make it feel like nothing, make it painful, or make it feel good. Like really good? Orgasms and everything?”

  Blood rushed to my face. “Oh…yeah, no. Not the last one, please. I’ve never had a…never…”

  She touched my shoulder. “It’s all right. You don’t need to explain.” She touched my neck lightly, “Are you sure about this?”

  I nodded, eyes closed, and stepped into her as I tilted my head to the side. “I am.” I’m not. No, I’m really, really not. Yet here I am. Above and beyond being naked earlier, this, right here, is a sign to myself that I’m really different from what I always grew up thinking I was. It’s a solid throw back in the face of everything my parents ever taught us about supernaturals. Why this more so than being naked? Because I was naked at home at least some of the times. Granted, in showers and getting changed, but I could have walked out of my room naked at any time. My parents saw me naked when I was young. My brothers and sisters as well, until my parents cut that off. It’s taken me 16 years and being called out by a shifter for me to realize how wrong I was. Or am. Or whatever. I wasn’t required to pay penance for taking care of my younger brothers and sisters. Heck, I did it more than my parents did.

  Which, right there, is a clue to me. They called us by numbers and made us take care of each other. Other than schooling or punishments, they didn’t really do much with us. We were an assembly line of power for them that they could suck dry and discard, like refuse. They killed 14 of their own children, all the while teaching us that everything around us was evil…

  So, yeah, as much as this terrifies me, I need to do this. For me. For her. But, yeah, mostly for me. It’s a conscious step in the direction of normalcy, even though this probably isn’t too normal for people.

  But it’s my normal now, isn’t it? She’s my classmate. I’m living here at school with a bear shifter roommate. Hell, I tore out people’s eyes earlier and shot someone through a wall with magic. This. Is. My. Life.

  And I need to take it by the reins. Or at least act like I’m even in the saddle.

  I don’t know if I can keep up with the thought process that I have going now, but I need to own this life. My parents owned it and screwed us up, teaching us lies to control us. Now I have an opportunity to stand on my own and learn about the world. I can’t hide behind the lies my parents told us. Not any longer. It’s been 16 years and 14 deaths coming, but it’s time. Beyond time.

  Rachel took me at my word and stepped closer, letting me feel the cool temperature radiating off of her. I hadn’t taken it to heart earlier, but she’s room temperature, just like Director Fitzsimmons was. I didn’t open my eyes as she cradled the back of my head and slipped her arm around my side. I may want to branch out and stand on my own, but it’s not that easy to change your mindset about things. This is a move in the right direction, it’s not like I’ve arrived at my destination.

  “You don’t have to be afraid of me.” Her voice was soft as I felt her lips on the side of my neck. The combination of her soft voice and the touch of her skin made me melt. I expected to tense up, but I didn’t, it felt good. It felt right. It made things heat up down low that I’ve fought off since they first started when I was around 10 years old.

  I didn’t have long to wait before feeling her fangs slide into my neck. I expected lances of pain, but it never happened. Instead, liquid warmth spread out from the bite and made me see colors behind my closed eyes as she suckled gently, making me moan and press into her harder. I didn’t expect it, but she sucks directly through her fangs, and it felt like my world was spinning out of control on a river of pure ecstasy with each suck.

  My panties got soaked as my desire built, and her hair felt soft in my hands as I reciprocated her hold on me and pressed her into my neck. She moaned in response and suckled once, then twice more, before pulling away. The absence of her presence on my neck made me want to pull her back in, but the dazed look on her face said otherwise, so I let her go until she bumped into the closed door behind her. A tendril of my blood extended down from her lip to her chin and it caught my eye, making my nipples tighten far beyond where they were before, and it wasn’t quite me driving any longer when I stepped into her and licked the blood away.

  Rachel’s dazed eyes watched me step back from her. “That was fucking awesome.”

  Steph’s voice made me turn. “Jesus Christ, what the hell was that? I thought you weren’t going to make her cum?”

  “I didn’t.”

  “She didn’t.” I wanted to make sure that was clear. “I’ve never…I’ve never done that before.”

  Steph sniffed. “Freaking hell, that is so hot. You smell delicious.”

  “Uhh, what? What do you mean I smell delicious?”

  Rachel sniffed. “You do. You smell fabulous. You taste even better.” She still looked out of it.

  Steph nodded. “We can both smell you.”

  “What do you mean smell me?”

  She glanced down at my traitorous groin, where mostly unknown feelings were trying to get my attention. “Your pussy? We can smell how turned on you are. I thought you might have cum from that. It’s intense when she does it. I love that feeling.”

  Her direct statement made me blush and hide away behind my hands. She caught me up in her arms before I could run. I don’t even know where I was going to run to. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  I stayed behind my hands. “What you said! You could smell me?! That’s disgusting! I shouldn’t have these feelings!”

  I felt her laughter vibrating through my back. “It’s not disgusting. All of the shifters here can smell everyone. Rachel can, too. It’s just how we work. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Imagine if everyone could see a particular color but you can’t? You wouldn’t be embarrassed about that, so this is the same thing.”

  “Yeah, but it’s my vagina?!” I blushed again at the word.

  She laughed again. Nice, real nice. “Yes, it is, but if you could smell, you’d be able to tell how turned on Rachel is right now. Same for me. Not as bad as you are, but we are. It’s a common scent for us. You didn’t cum?”

  I stopped trying to
pull away from her. I feel like I could break away, but I really had nowhere to go, so it didn’t make sense. “No. I’ve never done that before. Like I said, premarital sex and masturbation were no-no’s at home, and my parents were ruthless about punishing anyone caught touching themselves.”

  She snorted. “Damn, and here my parents cheered the first time I did it.”

  I lowered my hands. “I’m so embarrassed.”

  She let me go. “Seriously, don’t be. You’re going to see all of us having sex at some point or another. Or masturbating. It’s not a maybe, it’s a definite.”

  I groaned and turned, trying not to disappear in a blushing explosion. “I know. I get that. Rasphael told me that I need to…that I need to explore, I guess? She said that if I need to comfortable with my own body before I can get comfortable with others.”

  She touched my shoulder, getting me to look up. I expected to see disgust on her face, but it just wasn’t there. “You do. Honestly, you do. You have a lot to learn about everything, and if you don’t understand yourself, I’m not sure how you’ll understand everyone else. Or, you might, but it’ll be incomplete.” She looked back over her shoulder. “You okay there, Rachel?”

  Our vampire friend giggled. “That’s the best thing ever.” Her eyes focused a tiny bit. “I thought feeding from Corey or some of the others was good, but…wow.” She looked back at me. “If you were a guy, I’d let you fuck my ass. I’d beg for it if I got to feed from you again.” She sniffed deep. “If you ever want to trade a feeding for sex, let me know. I’d sign up in a heartbeat. We just need to figure out how many times you can feed before it gets to be too much.”

  “What do you mean too much?”

  “I normally take about a half pint of blood, which takes something like a month for a regular person to replenish. For a shifter, it’s not recommended to feed more than once a week. For a magic user, it’s closer to norm timeframes.”

  I shrugged. “Well, since I recovered from having my guts falling out earlier, what do you think it is for me?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. Every other day? Would…would you be willing to feed me again?”

  Would I? When parts of yourself tell you not to do something, how many parts does it take for you to listen? And how many parts telling you to jump on it does it take?

  “I’d be willing.”

  She moaned and I’m not sure she realized she was rubbing one of her breasts. “Oh my God, I can’t wait.” She closed her eyes tight as she pinched her nipple. “Okay, I need to go…” She was out the door in a flash, and I heard a door farther down the hall slam shut.

  I focused on Steph. “I don’t understand? What just happened?”

  She cocked her head and laughed softly. “She’s masturbating.”

  I blushed hard again. “What? Are you serious? How can you tell?”

  “I can hear her? I’m shocked you aren’t touching yourself right now.”

  I looked down at my clenched fists. “I…” What do I say? Maybe it’s time to grow up? “I want to, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that just yet.”

  She nodded knowingly. “I understand.” She looked around the room a little. “So, yeah, this isn’t quite how I expected our evening to go.” She looked me up and down. “You still want a shower? I can show you were everything is?”

  Oh yeah, I’m still covered in blood and my clothes are kind of wrecked. At least partially. That made me groan. “Oh yeah. This sucks. I’ve never had new clothes that I picked out before, and they ruined this outfit already!”

  “True,” she nodded, “at least your shirt. I think we can get the blood out of everything else. Your shoes look pretty good, so that’s a plus.”

  Sure enough, they only had some splatters on them, which I figured we could get off. “Okay, so, showers?”

  She waited as I collected everything in a convenient little caddy that was on the list to purchase. Not my towel, obviously. When I began sorting through clothes to bring, she stopped me. “What are you doing?”

  “Uhh, grabbing clothes to put on?”

  “Why would you do that?”

  I looked around the room as if others were hiding there. The question was just that bizarre that I had to see if it was a setup somehow. “So I have something to put on afterwards?”

  “Why not just put it on here?”

  “I don’t want to walk back in my towel?”

  “What? Why would you walk back in your towel?”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Okay, how about this…I’m lost here. Until earlier here, I’ve never been naked in front of anyone. I’ve never showered anywhere other than at home. What am I missing?”

  The light of understanding popped on suddenly, and she smiled. “Oh, okay. Now I get it.”

  “Good. I’m glad you get it. So what am I missing? What would you do?”

  “How about I get another shower and show you, instead?”

  That’s good, I guess. “Oookay?” She nodded and grabbed a little caddy of things from her closet. “We can keep everything down in the shower area. There’s a space for it if you want to do that. I’ve kept my things in my room since someone messed with my stuff freshman year. Not that it’ll stop someone from using magic on it in here, but out of sight out of mind, you know?”

  “Messed with it? How?”

  “Stole my shampoo and razors. I could never figure out who did it, so I figured it’s easier to just leave the stuff here. No one else bothers.”

  I was just about to answer when she stripped naked again and put a towel over a shoulder. It’s not even like she put it around her neck and had the ends covering her boobs, she just had it hanging over a shoulder. She paused at the door. “You gonna leave your shoes and socks here or what? We can wash the rest in the shower, but it doesn’t make sense to bring anything that’s not bloody.”

  I groaned as I kicked off my shoes, then looked at my socks. They did seem to bypass the blood, so I stripped them off and put them in the supplied hamper. I was a little weirded out by being barefoot like this in front of someone I didn’t know, but this wouldn’t be considered nudity to my parents. This is just me. I have to be able to do this. I had my guts hanging out earlier, and this is way less invasive.

  She opened the door and spared me another glance over her shoulder before walking out. “Follow me.”

  I’ll admit, it took me at least 10 seconds before I followed her out. She just walked out the door naked. Totally naked. Into the hallway. Where other people might be. I know she said she’s a shifter, but…she’s naked. And there’s Nick. He doesn’t do more than glance at her as she slowly walks by, staring back towards me.

  “Good luck getting the blood out. We may have some magic that can help if you can’t get it washed.” He didn’t look back at Steph’s naked butt. He didn’t look at my feet. He didn’t treat any of this like it’s odd at all.

  “Uhh, thank you?”

  He nodded and continued walking, turning into another room behind me, leaving me staring at my roommate with an open mouth. She snickered. “See? It’s not a big deal. C’mon.”

  There are three rooms on each side of the hallway that house us students. She pointed to various doors and told me where folks were housed, where we had laundry, then our lounge area, where Tom and Sarah were playing some sort of video game. Then we arrived at the bathroom.

  I’ll admit, I had a bad image of the bathroom in my mind from the get-go when I was told they’d be coed. Did they live up to that bad image? I don’t even know. Sort of?

  Contrary to my initial thoughts, it wasn’t rundown. At all. I guess that goes along with everything else, which is in fantastic condition. I guess that’ll happen when they have magic at their disposal and a massive amount of money coming in per student. Just a ridiculous amount per student.

  The bathroom is big. Larger than I would have expected, especially for “only” 12 people. Just inside the door is the sink area, which has waist-height countertops and sin
ks. 12 of them. Each sink had its own mirror, not even a huge panel, then had drawers under the countertop. She stopped at one of them. “This one is open.” She nodded next to it. “That one’s mine. I do keep some things here, but not everything.” She set her caddy down at her sink and I followed suit, then took my soap, shampoo, conditioner, and loofah out, mirroring her.

  “This way.”

  The next section moved off in two directions. To the right were a set of four urinals, which I only recognize from television. Luckily for me, none of the guys were using one. Next to them were six stalls. Not even closed off…just stalls. You could still see people’s feet. I’ve literally never used a public bathroom before, so seeing a toilet like this is so far outside the norm for me.

  Steph stopped dead when the fear started, then caught me in a hug. “Hey, you okay?”

  I couldn’t pull my eyes from the toilets. “I’ve never been in a public bathroom before. I’m…I’m not sure I can go to the bathroom in a place like this. With people around.”

  She hugged me tighter. “It’s okay. You’ll get used to it. Just remember that everyone has to use the bathroom. Well, except for Rachel. But we all do. Just be thankful that they’re closed off. In a shifter place like this, the toilets would just be against the wall, no walls or doors.”

  “What? Why?” My fear spiked.

  She squeezed me before letting go. “It’s just how we are. We don’t have issues like that. Like you guys have. Most mages would have a problem with that as well, but you get used to it just like anything else.”

  “I’m not sure I’m going to be able to get used to that.”

  She nodded knowingly. “You will because you have to. Now, c’mon, forget that for now.”

  She tugged my hand and turned me towards the shower area. Now my heart really did stop.

  I’ll give them this. The showers are pretty tasteful looking. They’re all aqua tile and frosted glass…and frosted glass. Not even a lot of it. There are six doors along the wall, but I can see right into them. The doors start right around knee height and end right around collarbone height. There are two shower heads in each shower area, one from each wall. Meaning it’s not even a single-person shower. I couldn’t even try to stop the tears on my face. “Please tell me this isn’t real.”