Generation Misfits

by Akemi Dawn Bowman

  “They—they really said all that?” Millie asked.

  Her parents nodded, and Millie struggled to maintain her composure. Because she did try her best, but she didn’t think anyone else had noticed. Or that anyone else cared.

  She’d started school doing everything so wrong; she had never imagined things could turn around so much.

  “Mrs. Seo in particular, said she was very impressed by how disciplined you were with tutoring. She said you never missed a session before that day and that your friends would stay after school to help you with your homework.” Jane smiled. “She also said she heard you kids talking about J-Club, and how you’d moved rehearsals to lunch so you wouldn’t fall behind on school.”

  “That was a very responsible decision to make,” Scott said. “And we’re really proud of how far you’ve come.”

  They were proud of her. And it had nothing to do with music.

  Millie’s tears spilled over.

  Jane moved to the chair beside her and wrapped her arms around Millie’s shoulders, squeezing gently. “We love you. So much. And we’re going to try to be a lot better about listening to you from now on, okay?”

  “But you have to promise that the lying will stop. The secrets, too.” Scott lifted his shoulders. “We want to trust you, and we want you to trust us back. Maybe we can all work a little harder at it.”

  Millie nodded, sniffling into her mom’s sleeve. “Okay. I promise.” She paused. “So … does this mean I get to stay at Brightside Academy?”

  Jane pulled away and ran her fingers through Millie’s hair. “As long as you keep your grades up the way you have been, then yes.” She looked over at Scott. “We think maybe this was a good move for you after all.”

  “Maybe for us, too,” Scott admitted with a gentle laugh.

  Millie gave both of her parents a hug.

  “One more thing before you run up to bed,” Jane said. “Could you maybe explain to us what Pop Showcase is, and where we can buy tickets?”

  CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

  Millie: My parents said I can be in J-Club again! And they want to come to Pop Showcase!

  Rainbow: YAYY!!!

  Ashley: That’s awesome.

  Luna: omgggg this is the best news!

  It took Zuki a few extra minutes to respond.

  Zuki: AHH YESSSS! Okay we need to talk about costumes. Are we imitating the outfits in the music video? And what about colors? Are we matching? How does everyone feel about pinks and lilacs?

  Ashley: No.

  Zuki: To which part?

  Ashley: All of it.

  Luna: never mind the costumes, I want to know what Millie’s parents said! What made them change their minds?

  Rainbow: yeah, me too! Does this mean you aren’t grounded anymore?

  Millie: Nope not grounded. They said they were sorry for making me feel bad. I guess they talked to my teachers and found out I was doing well in school. Oh, shout out to Ashley’s mom for saying good things!

  Ashley:

  Luna: That’s amazing!

  Rainbow: i’m so glad your parents understood!

  Millie: I’m just happy I don’t have to lie anymore and that they want to come to Pop Showcase. I never thought they’d be interested in something that wasn’t flute. It feels really nice.

  Zuki started to type something but deleted it. She started typing again but deleted that, too.

  Ashley: My mom said I could invite you all over for pizza after school this week, if you want. No pressure though, I don’t care either way.

  Luna: you sound positively thrilled about it

  Rainbow:

  Ashley: Whatever, the offer is on the table.

  Millie: I’ll ask my parents and let you know tomorrow!

  Rainbow: same!

  Luna: ditto!

  The three dots appeared to show Zuki was typing. When her reply appeared five minutes later, it was barely a reply at all.

  Zuki: Okay.

  Millie could sense something was wrong, so she left the group chat and sent a text just to Zuki.

  Millie: Are you okay?

  It took her another fifteen minutes to reply, even though Millie could see that she’d read it.

  Zuki: You and I both used to have parents that weren’t interested in J-Club, but now we don’t. I’m happy for you but it also reminds me that I’ll never have that.

  Zuki: But I’m glad you’re back in J-Club.

  Zuki: AND that you can do Pop Showcase. Really.

  Millie: I’m sorry. Do you want to talk about it?

  Zuki: No.

  Millie: I think of you as family.

  Zuki: You do?

  Millie: Yeah! And maybe family is about more than just sharing DNA.

  Millie: Maybe some families are chosen.

  Zuki: I’d rather talk about costumes, to be honest.

  Zuki: But thanks.

  Zuki: Thanks for being my friend.

  Millie: Thanks for being mine.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

  Ashley’s living room was decorated in red party streamers and paper lanterns covered in yellow stars. An archway of colorful balloons separated the living room from the kitchen, and there was music playing from a nearby speaker. A stack of pizza boxes was sitting on the counter, along with several bottles of soda and a birthday cake shaped like a giant bumblebee.

  “It’s your birthday?” Millie’s mouth hung open, and she looked around at the others, desperately hoping she wasn’t the only one who didn’t know to bring a gift.

  Zuki squealed, staring at the decorations with delight. Rainbow looked like she wasn’t entirely sure if she was in the right house.

  Ashley rubbed the back of their neck uncomfortably. “It’s whatever. My mom is into parties.”

  Luna smiled. “I remember you always hated when people knew when your birthday was. You used to get so annoyed, like it was supposed to be some huge secret.”

  “Yeah.” Ashley sighed. “I didn’t want to tell any of you either, but I guess the balloons kind of give it away. My mom doesn’t do anything in moderation.”

  Mrs. Seo entered the room. “Welcome, welcome! Help yourselves to pizza. Rainbow, there’s a vegan option just on the table.”

  “The cake is vegan, too,” Ashley added. “And there’s no meaning to the bumblebee. It was just the only design that wasn’t covered in flowers or sports equipment, neither of which I like.”

  After pizza, everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to Ashley while they blew out their candles. Mrs. Seo served cake and sorbet, and she took about three hundred photos over the course of the dinner. When they were finished eating, Mrs. Seo ushered everyone into the living room to relax.

  Ashley slumped into one of the couches. “Does anyone want to watch a movie?” There was a collective sound of approval, and Ashley reached for the remote.

  “I can’t believe you didn’t tell us it was your birthday,” Rainbow said. “I would’ve brought you something.”

  “I don’t like presents,” Ashley grumbled, flicking through the video library.

  Luna looked down at her hands awkwardly. She’d removed something from her bag—something small and wrapped in tissue paper. Now it looked like she was wondering if she’d made a mistake.

  Ashley noticed, and their whole body went still. Whatever expression Luna was wearing, Ashley was wearing it, too.

  With a sigh, Luna passed the item to Ashley. “I didn’t want to show up empty-handed when I knew it was your birthday. But it’s nothing big, so don’t worry. It’s barely a present.”

  “You remembered?” Ashley asked quietly.

  Luna looked up. “Of course. It’s the same day as my brother’s. Don’t you remember? That’s how we met—you both had your birthdays at that beach. The one with the pier and the funnel cake.”

  Ashley couldn’t hide their smile. They carefully unwrapped the gift to reveal a small jar filled with tiny colorful stones.

  “Sea glass.” Ashley’s voice was almost inaudibl
e.

  They looked at each other like they were sharing a secret. Or maybe it was a memory.

  After a moment, Ashley cleared their throat and motioned to the TV. “Does anyone have a preference?”

  Zuki lunged for the remote and began scrolling through choice after choice, while Rainbow offered commentary on all the films she’d already seen. Luna and Ashley avoided each other’s eyes but couldn’t stop smiling.

  They decided to watch the first episode of a dorama none of them had seen before, and halfway through Millie got up to get a drink of water. She found Mrs. Seo in the kitchen, putting away the last of the pizza in the fridge.

  “Did you need something?” Mrs. Seo looked over her shoulder and smiled.

  “Just some water, if that’s okay,” Millie said. “I didn’t want to bug Ashley, so I thought I’d just get it myself.”

  Mrs. Seo reached into the cabinet for a clean glass and filled it at the sink. “Are you excited for Pop Showcase? It’s soon, isn’t it?”

  Millie took the glass and cupped her hands around it firmly. “I’m nervous. But excited, too.” She’d been onstage plenty of times before, at flute recitals and solo performances. But this felt different. She wanted to be there, for one. Before, being onstage made her feel jittery and breakable, like one wrong step would shatter her into a million pieces.

  These nerves were different. They felt like magic swirling around Millie’s fingertips.

  She felt like magic.

  “That’s good,” Mrs. Seo said. “I’m so glad Ashley gets to do this with all of you. I’ve never seen them look forward to something so much before.”

  Millie and her friends found one another when they really needed it. She imagined them all lost at sea, searching for an escape from a storm. And J-Club was their lighthouse; the constant that brought them all together. The thing that made them feel safe.

  She would never stop being grateful to Zuki for putting up those flyers and for being her friend when nobody else would.

  She wished there was a way to repay her for giving her a family through J-Club. And she knew what Zuki wanted the most, but it was impossible for Millie to give it to her.

  Because she couldn’t force Zuki’s parents to love their daughter more. She couldn’t make them stop hurting her.

  She felt powerless.

  Millie frowned. “Can I ask you something?”

  Mrs. Seo looked surprised. “Of course.”

  “What are teachers supposed to do if they suspect someone doesn’t have the best parents?” Millie asked carefully.

  Mrs. Seo’s expression stilled into something more thoughtful. “There are a lot of rules in place for things like that. And if there was ever a time where a student seemed to be in danger, then the teacher would have an obligation to report it. Because a student’s safety is very important. It can also be very complicated.”

  Millie’s mind flashed to Zuki. She wanted her to be safe more than anything. And even if she didn’t have proof, she could feel something was wrong. It was in Zuki’s eyes. Something she wasn’t telling anyone about.

  “How do you help someone if they won’t tell you what’s wrong?” Millie asked.

  “That’s a very big question indeed,” Mrs. Seo began. “I think all we can do is try our best and be present in their lives as much as they’ll allow us. And it can be hard when we feel like something is out of our control. But being there for your friends? That’s something we can control. And it’s very important.”

  “But if I saw something … And if I told someone … Would a teacher even be able to fix it?” Millie asked.

  Mrs. Seo was quiet for a moment. “Is this about Zuki?”

  Millie’s eyes widened. “I didn’t—I don’t—” She felt panicked.

  “It’s okay,” Mrs. Seo said gently. “Ashley already told me.” She sighed. “It’s not my place to talk about this with you, but I don’t want you to worry, okay? There are other people looking out for Zuki, just like you are.”

  Millie relaxed a little. “I just want her to be safe.”

  Mrs. Seo nodded. “Just be there for her, like you’re doing. A good friend is really important. No matter what age you are.”

  Millie returned to her friends, watching them quietly as they laughed at all the funny parts in the show. She wanted to believe Mrs. Seo was right—that there were people who would make everything with Zuki okay again. She needed to believe it because the alternative was terrifying.

  Zuki deserved better than the parents she had.

  And Millie wished being eleven didn’t stop her from fixing a problem so big.

  CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE

  Millie pulled the red curtain back and peered into the crowd. The sound in the audience was like static on a radio, but soft around the edges. Everyone was still finding their seats and making idle conversation with the people around them. There were a lot of parents and siblings and grandparents, but most of the room consisted of fellow students.

  That made Millie especially nervous.

  But at least she looked the part. Even though Zuki had wanted costumes for the group, they’d each decided to wear whatever felt right for their personality. For Millie, that meant a Bulbasaur T-shirt, jeans covered in holes, and her red Converse.

  Zuki was beside her, looking like she’d just stepped off the set of a Generation Love music video. Her pink-streaked hair was tied up in twin buns, and she was wearing a pink sweater over a pair of white shorts and knee-high socks. She didn’t look nervous; she looked distracted. Her eyes were busy searching for someone in the crowd. Judging by the way her shoulders fell, she couldn’t find them.

  “They aren’t here?” It was a question Millie already knew the answer to.

  Zuki turned around and smiled—a broken, tired smile. “I just wanted to get a look at the crowd. There are so many people! I’m so nervous. Are you nervous? I bet Sierra Cooper is out there somewhere—she’s in my Math class and she said J-Club would never make it to Pop Showcase because nobody cared about Japanese music. I’m so ready to show her how wrong she was!”

  Millie knew she was lying about not looking for her parents, but she smiled anyway. “Come on. We’re supposed to meet the others backstage. Luna said something about fake eyelashes.”

  Zuki nodded, casting one last glance at the crowd before letting the curtain fall.

  They wove through the small gathering of performers, making their way down a hall and up a set of stairs to one of the dressing rooms. Rainbow was perched on a chair in front of a huge mirror, wearing a loose-fitting black dress, a bomber jacket with Generation Love’s symbol, and her signature argyle socks. A small heart was painted below the corner of her eye—something Chiyo often did at concerts.

  Luna was hovering in front of her, sprinkling glitter onto Rainbow’s hair like it was pixie dust. She was dressed in a striped jumpsuit that hung off one shoulder, and it wasn’t just her hair that sparkled: Luna shimmered from head to toe. She leaned back, surveying her work, and exchanged the glitter for a tube of bright red lipstick.

  “Is this really necessary?” Rainbow squeaked. She was wearing contacts especially for the performance, and her glasses were nowhere to be found. “I don’t really wear makeup.”

  “Come on, you’re a theater major—you know the stage lights wash you out,” Luna tutted, carefully painting Rainbow’s lips. “There. Perfect.” She stood back and looked around. “Who’s next?”

  Ashley glowered, adjusting the collared shirt beneath their vest-and-trouser set. It almost looked like they were going to a wedding, except on their feet were a pair of crisp white sneakers. “I already let you put blush on me, but I draw the line at lipstick.”

  Luna rolled her eyes. “You’ll thank me when the photos come out and you don’t look like a corpse.”

  “I know how lighting works,” Ashley mumbled. “But I also know there’s a difference between ‘a little bit of color’ and full-on face painting.”

  Zuki threw herself into an em
pty chair and straightened her spine. “Millie said you have fake eyelashes? Are they big ones? I definitely want red lips—and can you put glitter in my hair, too?”

  Luna clapped. “Yes! Okay, you do the lipstick, and I’ll get the eyelash glue.”

  When they were all polished up and ready for the stage, the five of them stood in front of the mirror, staring at one another like they could barely recognize themselves.

  “Wow,” Zuki gushed. “We look so … professional.”

  Millie laughed. “I didn’t know my eyes could look this huge!”

  Rainbow flattened her hands over her clothes self-consciously. “It feels weird not being in a uniform at school.”

  Even though they didn’t exactly match, they still looked like they belonged together.

  A band of misfits.

  Millie took a deep breath. “Is everyone ready?”

  The energy in the room crackled.

  Zuki clasped her hands together. “Let’s do this.”

  * * *

  Millie’s heart pounded a million miles a minute. Her ears began to ring. She could feel a rush of adrenaline racing through her, like a fire willing itself free.

  The theater was blanketed in darkness, but she could still see a slight shift in the crowd. Her parents were there, somewhere. And it occurred to her that they were finally about to see her—really see her.

  Were they excited? Were they nervous? Did they think she could do this?

  Could she do this?

  Millie closed her eyes and let out a slow breath.

  In the darkness, she felt someone’s hand close over hers. A reminder that she wasn’t alone.

  She squeezed their hand back so they would know they weren’t alone either.

  The music started, the lights turned on, and Millie began to sing in perfect harmony with her best friends.

  The beat took over, and Millie step-ball-changed and shimmied across the stage, and suddenly the group was hitting pose after pose while the spotlights danced above them. Right on cue, Rainbow took her place front and center and sang a riff straight into the melody.