Justice is a Woman

by Catherine Cookson

  Betty remained silent, for she was engulfed in a wave of pity for this woman who had been everywhere, seen everything—at least so she had implied on the train—and who now was old and very tired and lonely.

  ‘I’d be good to you; I wouldn’t let you go into a home if you stayed by me. Have you any money of your own; I mean, an income?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Nothing?’

  ‘No; only what I earn.’

  ‘Well, then, I would provide for you. Yes, I would, I would. I’d make an agreement. What do you say?’

  What could she say? A moment ago she had wanted to laugh uproariously, now she was almost on the verge of tears. She swallowed deeply before she said quietly, ‘I am most grateful for your offer, Lady Ambers, and…and under other circumstances I would have accepted it, and gladly, but, you see, my sister is going to have a baby early next year and I have promised to stay with her until then, and for a little time afterwards.’

  ‘A little time after? Then what?’

  ‘Well, I…I don’t really know, but…but if your offer is still open I would be glad to discuss it again.’

  ‘You would?’

  ‘Yes; yes, I would. And thank you very much.’

  ‘You’re a nice girl.’

  Betty lowered her head slightly, blinked, smiled, then said, ‘I’m on my best behaviour today.’

  The laugh the old lady let out sounded, Betty thought, almost as loud as her own when she got going.

  ‘Have a cake?’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘You know…you know something?’

  Betty waited.

  ‘When I was in that train with you I thought that my travelling days were over, and me only sixty-seven.’ She paused as if waiting to see what effect the statement of her age would have on Betty; but Betty didn’t blink an eyelid, and she went on, ‘I thought I’d have to spend the rest of my days looking at James slavering and listening to Sarah moaning. But after three weeks of it I know I couldn’t stand it. And this house. Did you ever see anything so dull as this house? Then James took to his bed and, as I told you, I’m stuck here until he goes, and then it’s back to an hotel. I live in hotels, you know, I haven’t any settled home, but—’ She now eased herself to the front of the couch and, putting out her bony fingers, she clasped Betty’s knee gently as she said, ‘If you come with me, girl, I’ll buy a house; we’ll make a home, you and I. I’ve plenty of money, more than I know what to do with. That’s what I’ll do, we’ll make a home.’

  It was a situation with which at present Betty couldn’t cope; at least not with words. She watched the old lady lean back again against the couch; she watched her look upwards as if she were again lost in thought as she said, ‘Life is strange, isn’t it? But George said to me: You’ll find someone, Mary, who will love you and look after you; you’ll never die alone. But who would have thought I would meet her in a train on a journey from London to Newcastle? Do you believe in fate?’

  ‘Yes, in a way.’ There was a slight tremble in Betty’s voice which she couldn’t control. ‘I…I have the idea that life is mapped out for us from the start, yet at the same time I…I question why the roads on some maps are so rough and so hard.’

  The old lady looked at her now in silence. It was the first silence that had fallen between them, and it continued while once more she put her head back and gazed towards the ceiling. But after a few moments Betty had to break it. Looking at her watch, she said quietly, ‘Will you excuse me, Lady Ambers? But I must be going; the chauffeur is waiting for me and he has to pick up my brother-in-law from the factory at five o’clock.’

  ‘Oh. Oh.’ Lady Ambers now pulled herself slowly to her feet and, holding out her hand, she said, ‘You have given me your word; it’s a bargain.’

  ‘It’s a bargain. But…but I must impress upon you I must stay with my sister as long as she needs me.’

  ‘Till after the baby is born?’

  ‘Yes, till after the baby is born.’

  ‘Well, then, let’s forget about this Lady Ambers nonsense. Call me Mary. And look’—she was still holding Betty’s hand—‘do you think I might visit you now and again?’

  ‘Oh yes, yes.’ Betty smiled brightly at her. ‘Of course; you’d be very welcome.’

  ‘Well, I’ll do that. When things get really on top of me I’ll come along and see you…Will I have to write and let you know?’

  ‘No, no, you needn’t; just call when you feel like it.’

  ‘And your sister won’t mind?’

  ‘She’d be delighted to see you.’

  ‘From what I saw of her I didn’t take to her much. But anyway, I won’t be coming to see her, I’ll be coming to see you…Ring the bell.’ She pointed to a thick betasselled cord hanging by the fireplace, and after Betty had pulled it she said, ‘Goodbye, Lady Mary. It’s been a pleasure.’

  ‘I’m so glad you think so, girl. It makes me feel I’ve still some life left in me. We had a laugh, didn’t we?’

  ‘We did, and thank you. Goodbye.’

  The door opened, and when the footman entered, Lady Ambers called in a loud voice, as if he were already on the drive, ‘See Miss Burton into her car, Rogers, and see she’s well tucked up.’

  ‘Yes, milady.’

  As Betty walked across the hall behind the footman she was amused by the fact that even his back showed that his opinion of her had changed since he had opened the door to her.

  David did not allow the footman to do the honours but himself saw that she had a rug over her knees before he took his own seat, and when they had passed through the gates he put his head back and said loudly, so that his voice would penetrate the closed windows of the partition, ‘I hope you had an enjoyable visit, miss?’

  Betty, bending forward, opened the window and said, ‘Most enjoyable, David. And she’s going to return the visit.’

  ‘My! My!’

  ‘Yes, that’s what I say too, David: My! My!’ She sat back and repeated to herself, ‘My! My!’ and then she thought, Poor soul. Poor old soul.

  How would she like being companion to her?

  She would like it very much. Yes, she would. And she had promised to make a settlement on her. Had anyone else ever promised to make a settlement on her in her life? No-one; apart from a small salary she had received from Mrs Boulton-Westbrook, she had worked for her keep among cousins and aunts since the war ended, and that was eight years ago.

  Yes, she would enjoy being companion to Lady Ambers…Mary. No, Lady Mary. That would be better.

  ‘Don’t be ridiculous! Make a settlement on you? She’s saying that until she gets you. They’re skinflints, the Mentons, the Amberses, all that crowd; they’re known to be tight-fisted. And you took it in?’

  ‘Yes, I took it in. And I believe her. Anyway, why are you getting so het up? I’m not going tomorrow; I told you I’ll stay as long as you need me.’

  ‘But you’ll hold her over my head.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ Betty’s tone was indignant.

  ‘Just what I say. If I lose my temper with you or say a word out of place, all right, you’ll say, I’m off to the old crone’s.’

  ‘She’s not an old crone.’

  ‘What is she then? She’s an eccentric old bag of rags.’

  ‘She’s a lady…she’s a lady of the old school: she’s straightforward and she’s honest.’

  ‘What do you know of her? Don’t be stupid and gullible, Betty. You met her on the train, you’ve had a cup of tea with her, and now she possesses all the virtues.’

  As Betty stared at her sister, Elaine cried, ‘Go on, tell me that you haven’t got to put up with me or my temper, you can walk out now.’

  ‘And that’s what I’m going to do.’

  As Betty turned towards the door Elaine called in a voice that was just above a whisper, ‘Betty, please, I’m sorry. Don’t take any notice. I’m…I’m just afraid you’re going to leave me.’

  ‘And I am for the present.’
/>   ‘Don’t be mad at me.’

  ‘I’m not mad at you. Go on—’ Her tone softened. ‘Go on downstairs; Joe will be in in a minute. And stop worrying; nothing has changed. And oh, I’d better tell you, she’s going to call.’

  As Elaine’s mouth dropped into a gape, Betty left the room, closing the door behind her, and as she made her way to her room she thought she should be feeling quite pleased with herself that she was so much in demand, that she was wanted. But did it matter if you were wanted and needed by the whole world if there wasn’t someone particular who needed you for yourself?

  Oh, she wished that she had never come here. Life had been dull and hard before, but her feelings weren’t ravished then, as they were now.

  Four

  It was nine o’clock in the evening of 26 April, 1927, and Elaine was deep in labour, as she had been all day. The first pains had attacked her at five o’clock the previous evening and when the doctor saw her a short while later, he smilingly told her she had a long way to go yet and that it might be the morrow morning before she gave birth.

  He was back in the house at nine o’clock the following morning and after examining her he again smilingly intimated that it could be a little time yet; but that she wasn’t to worry, everything was all right; it was often like this with the first baby. He’d be back about noon.

  Joe had engaged a nurse, and unfortunately Elaine had taken a dislike to her on sight, for she not only turned the bedroom into a replica of a hospital ward but she gave orders which she expected to be obeyed. ‘Come on now,’ she would say at frequent intervals, ‘bear down, do a little work, he or she can’t do it all themselves. You wouldn’t expect it, would you? Come on now, bear down.’ When she added practical help in the bearing down, Elaine screamed, and not for the first time during the last few hours; but this time she added between shuddering breaths, ‘Get out! Get out! Joe! I want Betty. Joe! Joe!’

  Joe burst into the room; then stood for a moment looking towards the bed where the nurse was standing breathing almost as heavily as Elaine now, although still keeping her composure. She nodded her head at Joe and gave a peremptory wave of her hand as she said, ‘It’s all right. It’s all right. It’s just that she is proving a little difficult.’

  Joe now came quickly towards the bed, where Elaine was holding her arms out to him, and as he gripped her hands he glared at the nurse and said, ‘What do you mean, a little difficult?’

  ‘Just what I said, Mr Remington. She…she won’t co-operate, she’s tense, all her muscles are tense, she’ll have to let go before it will come; she’s only prolonging the agony.’

  ‘Agony. Agony. Yes, that’s what it is.’ The tears were streaming down Elaine’s cheeks and she tossed her head from side to side and moaned, ‘Oh Joe! Joe!’

  ‘It’s all right, darling. It’s all right. It’ll be soon over.’

  ‘Send her out, Joe. Send her out. I want Betty.’

  ‘She’ll be here in a minute; she’s only gone downstairs for a bite to eat.’

  ‘I want Betty. I want Betty.’ Her head was still tossing backwards and forwards on the pillow.

  ‘All right, all right, I’ll go and fetch her now. Only in the meantime, darling, try…try to do what Nurse says; try to relax and then it’ll come.’

  ‘It’ll never come; I’ll die. I’ll die, Joe. I can’t bear it. Do you hear? I can’t bear it.’ She now gazed pitifully up into his face, and he wiped the tears from her cheeks; then he stroked her hair back from her sweat-dripping brow. But the next moment he was gripping her hand tightly as she pulled up her knees and emitted a high piercing scream.

  When he was pushed aside he made no resistance but hurried blindly out of the room, and he stood with his back to the wall by the side of the door for a moment, pressing his fingers on his eyeballs and swallowing deeply in his throat. Never again. Never again. He would never let her go through this again, ever. If she died he’d never forgive himself. But she mustn’t die. The child mustn’t die. He wanted that child. Oh yes, he wanted that child. Boy or girl, he wanted that child, yet not at the price it was costing.

  He ran down the stairs now and burst into the dining room, but before he had time to open his mouth Betty had risen from the table and, wiping the food from her lips with her fingers, she said, ‘It’s come?’

  ‘No, no, Betty, no, no.’ He bowed his head, then swung it from side to side. ‘She wants you. She can’t stand that nurse. Nor can I, for that matter. How much longer, Betty?’

  ‘I…I don’t know, Joe. But if it goes on like this I think the doctor will take her to the hospital.’

  ‘What!’ His head came up. ‘When did he say this?’

  ‘He said as much when he left, just before you came in.’

  ‘What will he do for her there that he can’t do here?’

  ‘I…I think he may be contemplating a Caesarean.’

  ‘Cut her up?’ He screwed up his eyes.

  ‘It’s quite safe. He…he explained it to me.’

  ‘Oh my God! Betty.’ He was standing in front of her, and she took his hands and gripped them as she said, ‘It’s all right, it’s all right. Try not to worry. The doctor…well, he didn’t seem too concerned. He said this often happens.’

  ‘Often happens?’ As he let his head drop back on his shoulders she gazed at him. He’d had his twenty-seventh birthday the previous week but at this moment he looked like a man of forty. His face was grey, the lines across his brow had deepened, his dark brown eyes looked black and were sunk in his head. His thick-set body, which in itself emanated strength, seemed to have sagged under his clothes. But it wasn’t only during the last two days she had noticed the change in him, for she had seen it creeping on him during the past three months, when things had not been running smoothly…in the boudoir.

  True, Elaine’s tantrums would have tried a saint, and Joe, she had to admit, was no saint; he was obstinate, and stubborn, especially on matters that involved principle, and his principles, unfortunately, were centred mainly around the colour question as appertaining to David and the present predicament of the miners, especially of the Egan family, because, she supposed, of their connection with Hazel. She was puzzled herself at times about Joe’s concern for the welfare of David and Hazel, and had been forced more than once to see the situation through Elaine’s eyes, and even to sympathise with her attitude.

  She patted his hands now, saying, ‘It’ll be all right, you’ll see; this time tomorrow you’ll be deafened by a squawking bairn.’

  He answered her smile with a small grimace and said softly, ‘I hope you’re right, Betty…Have you had enough to eat?’

  ‘Yes, yes, I was finished.’

  ‘You haven’t been downstairs ten minutes; you must be worn out.’

  ‘Oh, don’t be concerned for me, I’m as strong as a horse. Now look.’ She patted his hand again. ‘Go and have a drink, a strong one. Then go up to your father; he’s almost in the same state as you. He was for coming down this morning but I stopped him, because I wouldn’t have been able to keep him out of the room. And I can imagine what Madam Stiffneck would have said to that. Go on now, do as I tell you, go up to the top floor and hold hands.’

  She left him now and went hurriedly from the room and up the stairs.

  Before she reached the landing she heard Elaine’s cry, and when she opened the bedroom the cry pierced her ears, and it was all she could do not to screw up her face against it.

  ‘There, there. It’s all right. It’s all right, dear.’

  ‘Oh, Betty! Betty! I’m going to die.’

  ‘No, you’re not. Don’t be silly.’

  ‘You don’t know.’ Elaine gasped for breath, then went on, ‘You don’t know what it’s like. Never…never again if…if I live. Never, never again. Do you hear me?’

  ‘Yes, dear, yes.’

  ‘I’ll make him swear, I will, I will, I’ll make him swear, never again. O…h!…’

  The doctor came again at half-p
ast seven and after a few moments by the bedside he exclaimed brightly, ‘Oh, well, now you’re showing progress.’ He turned to the nurse. ‘This is good; she’s showing progress.’

  ‘How…how much longer?’

  He looked down into Elaine’s face, patted her cheek and said, ‘It all depends on you, my dear. It all depends on you. Just keep working at it. I’m very pleased with you. You’ve been a brave girl.’

  ‘Oh, shut up!’

  The doctor raised his eyebrows slightly, turned from the bed and looked at the nurse, and the nurse gave a slight shake of her head as if to say, ‘Well, what did I tell you?’

  Betty was standing near the dressing-room door and, although she did not beckon to the doctor, he went towards her as if she had made some signal, and when they were close she whispered, ‘Is it coming?’ and he whispered back, ‘It’s showing signs.’

  ‘She won’t have to go into hospital?’

  ‘No, no; I don’t think that will be necessary at this stage. If she’d only help herself a little more, everything would be all right.’

  ‘She has suffered a great deal.’

  He looked at her quizzically for a moment; then, his voice still low, he poked his face towards her and said, ‘That is what birth is all about, my dear.’

  ‘Betty! Oh! Betty. Betty!’