Justice is a Woman

by Catherine Cookson

  When Joe slipped slowly from her grasp in a limp heap on to the couch, Betty dropped onto her knees on the hearthrug, then fell onto her side and lay gasping; and when Mary’s agitated voice came to her, crying, ‘Oh my God! miss,’ she put up her hand and muttered, ‘It’s all right, Mary. Give me a minute.’

  The minute became two before she managed to drag herself on to her knees; and then she looked at Joe where he was lying stretched out now, Mary having lifted his feet up and put a pillow under his head, and she silenced the old woman’s spate of questioning, saying slowly, ‘In a minute, Mary, in a minute; we…we must get him undressed; and bring some water-bottles. And I must phone the doctor. I doubt if he’ll get through. But…but first, I’d better tell himself.’

  It took her all her time to make the two flights of stairs, and Mike, having heard her coming, met her on the landing.

  ‘Oh God! lass, what’s happened to you…and him?’ he asked.

  ‘It’s all right; he’s in the drawing room.’ She put out her hand and leaned against the landing wall, and when he asked, ‘Is he badly hurt?’ she gave a short laugh.

  ‘What’s up with you, lass? I said, is he badly hurt?’

  ‘I…I know, Mike, what you said. Well, there are no bones broken. There might be concussion, but…but his main trouble is, he’s drunk.’

  ‘Loaded? What do you mean?’

  There was silence for a moment before he said, ‘The bloody fool!’ Then he made to turn towards the room, but looked back at her again, saying flatly now, ‘If that’s the case, come and have a drop of the dog that bit him.’

  ‘No, no; he’s…he’s got to be seen to, I must go down.’ As she made for the stairs he turned round to her again, asking, ‘You got him up there on your own?’

  She was halfway down the stairs when she answered, ‘We didn’t happen to meet Father Christmas with his sleigh.’

  Another time he would have laughed, and so would she, but the tone in which she had made the remark didn’t signify amusement.

  In the hall she got through to Dr Pearce, and when she explained what had happened he said, ‘I doubt if I can get through; in fact, I’m sure I can’t. They’re having a job to keep even the main roads clear. You say there are no bones broken?’

  ‘There doesn’t appear to be.’

  ‘Does he appear sleepy?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘He’s likely concussed then; but if he walked from the car then I don’t think it can be anything serious.’

  At this she dropped her head back on to her shoulders, and closed her eyes tight.

  ‘Are you there?’

  When she answered he went on, ‘The main thing is to keep him warm, give him plenty to drink, such as weak tea; no stimulants, and if things aren’t improved by tomorrow morning I’ll try to get over. In any case, give me a ring then.’

  ‘Thank you, doctor.’ She put down the phone but remained standing with her hand on it for some time, her body leaning over it; then she looked down at her feet.

  A short while ago she had been sweating, now she was cold, shivering. She told herself that she should get out of these boots and change her stockings; then she would start on him. Now that she knew he wasn’t physically hurt in any way, she did not feel concern for him, only irritation that if he hadn’t been stinking drunk this would never have happened. It was just as well that Elaine wasn’t here, and that Martin was still at the Egans’.

  It was about four o’clock in the morning when Joe awoke. He opened his eyes and found that the shaded light in the room pierced his brain like rapier points. When he put his hand to his head it was beating as if a drum and fife band were inside it, and his body ached from head to foot. Oh, how it ached! Where was he? What had happened? After a few minutes he squinted through narrowed lids and with a painful effort turned his neck to the side. The drawing room. What was he doing in the drawing room? And who was that sitting huddled in the chair? He blinked and the slits opened wider. Betty. What was Betty doing there? What had happened? He closed his eyes again. He had taken Martin to see Dr Levey. Yes, yes. Oh! Yes. Yes.

  His memory was stirring. Yes, indeed, he had taken Martin to Dr Levey. Oh my God! He would have to go through that again. But Betty; where did Betty come in? He’d had a drink. A drink? He’d had two, three, four, five; he’d lost count after a time. He didn’t go to the club. No; to bars, three bars. And then he got into the car. He was nearly home; he had seen the lights in the house.

  ‘Lie still. How are you feeling?’

  He looked up into Betty’s face. ‘Oh Betty.’

  ‘You’re all right; you’re not hurt in any way.’

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘You took a short cut down Robson’s Gully.’

  ‘No! Oh God!’ He tried to nod his head; then put his hand up and gripped his brow as he said, ‘Yes, Robson’s Gully. How…how did you find me?’

  ‘Mike saw the car going over; I…I went down.’

  ‘You?’

  ‘Yes, me. Now go to sleep.’

  ‘No, no. Aw, Betty, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.’

  ‘It’s all right. Now go to sleep.’

  ‘Can…can I have a drink?’

  ‘Tea?’

  ‘Yes, anything.’

  She went to the tray standing on a side table and poured two cups of tea from the thermos; and when he had drunk his he asked, ‘The car, is…is it smashed?’

  ‘Well, it’s almost hung up between two trees.’

  ‘Hung up between…’ He made a small motion with his head. ‘How…then how did you get me…’

  ‘Oh, it’s a long story. I wish you didn’t eat so much; you’re a dead weight.’

  Again he said, ‘Oh, Betty’; and now he bowed his head deeply on to his chest as he muttered, ‘I was drunk, stoned.’

  ‘Yes, I should say you were.’

  ‘There was a good reason, Betty.’

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘I…I found out how the little girl died.’

  When Betty didn’t speak he raised his head slightly and looked at her. She had taken a seat by the side of the couch and she stared at him wide-eyed as he said, ‘Elaine. You remember the black negligée? Well, the…the boy saw her come into the room. He…he had his fingers splayed across his face like this.’ He demonstrated. ‘He couldn’t have realised who she was: the night light was low and…and, as you know, she always bade him goodnight in her room; I don’t remember her ever going into that nursery after that first time. He…he couldn’t have recognised her, what with the light and the black clothes, and likely she had the collar turned up; but he saw her lift the side down, tip up the mattress, and throw the child on to the floor.’

  Betty didn’t cry, ‘No! No!’ in loud denial at the voice of truth she had stilled since the time when she herself had lifted the railed side of the cot down and asked herself how the boy could ever have managed to move it out of its sockets; yet even so, against the voice of truth, part of her mind had cried, ‘Oh no! No! Elaine? No! No!’ It was unthinkable.

  ‘What am I to do, Betty?’

  She gave him no answer, because whatever she might suggest she knew he would take his own line with regard to his wife. And so she asked quietly, ‘Martin…will…will the treatment do him any good?’

  ‘I think so. Under hypnosis the doctor told him he would never have any more nightmares.’

  ‘It was as simple as that?’

  ‘Yes. But at the same time it was…well, something inexplicable, something beyond reason.’

  Joe bowed his head again now and he muttered as if to himself, ‘It isn’t only the fact that she could do it, Betty, but…but that she put the burden on the boy, knowing that some day someone who had heard Nellie McIntyre’s version of the affair—but then, not only hers; there was Ella’s and Duffy’s and Mary’s too—someone somewhere would throw it at him, saying, you killed your little sister when you were four. I could kill her myself for that. If she was here now, I just don’t know what
I would do to her. I remember I thanked God yesterday she was away, for I would have been straight home, and God only knows what I would have done to her.’

  She was now looking at her hands, the fingers picking at each other on her lap as she said, ‘Well, if you rid him of the stigma by telling him the truth, what is he going to think of his mother? I should imagine his next state would be worse than his first, because he’s very fond of her. Naturally he’s very fond of her.’

  ‘He’s not, not really.’ His words were clipped, his voice harsh and, her eyes widening in surprise, she said, ‘How can you say that?’

  ‘Because I know. I’m not the only one she’s frustrated. Anything he’s really wanted to do she’s put a stop to: he’s very fond of Elizabeth but he mustn’t speak to her; he’s also very fond of David and Hazel but he mustn’t go into their house. Well, from now on, all that is going to be changed. No matter what I do about this, all that is going to be changed.’ Of a sudden now he covered his face with his hands as he groaned, ‘God! God! I just can’t believe it. She’s so delicate, so frail-looking, yet she can tip a child out of its cot.’

  Betty took one long deep breath before she said, ‘You mustn’t forget that it wasn’t an ordinary child and…and that she gave birth to it.’

  ‘That makes it worse.’ He was looking at her now. ‘Don’t you see that makes it all the worse? I was its father, but I didn’t want it to die.’

  ‘But you wished it hadn’t been born. You wished it wasn’t there. Now, now, Joe’—she lifted her hand—‘don’t deny it, please, because I myself wished it time and time again, I wished it wasn’t there. And I think you will agree I had more to do with it than either you or she. In its helplessness I should have grown to love it. That’s what you’re supposed to do, but I couldn’t. I did what I had to do for it, but when I knew it was dead I felt nothing but relief. And if you were to speak the truth you would say the same…At the time it didn’t matter to me how she had gone; she was gone.’

  He stared at her, his mouth slightly open, and said, ‘I…I thought you cared for her…’

  ‘Oh, Joe’—she moved her head slowly at him—‘I had compassion for her and pity, and I cared for her needs, but if you mean loving, let me ask you something: did you love her? You were her father.’

  Again he had his head bowed, and he lifted it sharply as she sneezed, and when he saw her shudder, he said, ‘You’re cold.’

  She didn’t answer, but turned to the fire and poked it into a blaze, then added some logs.

  Yes, she was cold. She was cold and sick to the heart of her. At this moment she longed with a deep longing to be out of this house and in the room that was always kept ready for her at Lady Mary’s. She was tired of everything and everyone here. What was there in life here for her, after all? Nothing but work and frustration. And now every time she looked at her sister she would see her letting down the side of the cot, tipping up the mattress, and hurling her helpless child to the floor.

  Five

  You mean to say you condone it?’ Joe said.

  ‘Agree with it, condone it, use whatever term you like’—Mike nodded at Joe—‘if you want my opinion, it’s the only good thing she’s ever done in her life.’

  ‘You must be joking.’

  ‘I’m not joking, lad. That thing she gave birth to was a monstrosity. Just think, it could be alive now, this very day; its body would have grown, and just imagine what it would have looked like: a thing with no mind, ’cos it had no mind. That’s what you’ve got to remember, its mind was blank. No’—Mike moved his head wildly from shoulder to shoulder—‘you haven’t staggered me, lad, with your news. And if you take my advice you’ll let sleeping dogs lie. If, as you say, the boy’s going to be all right, you should be thankful.’

  ‘Be thankful?’ Joe’s voice was grim. ‘Be thankful that my wife could do a thing like that?’

  Mike now leaned forward in his chair and said quietly, ‘I’ve never liked her, you know that well enough, not from the day I clapped eyes on her. When I saw her coming in that door there, I thought, oh my God! not the same type as bewitched me. But aye, she was. As I’ve told you afore, she was the double of your mother. And you know it’s been proved, lad, right up to this very minute, because she doesn’t only take after her in looks but in character, too. Just think, lad, if your mother could have lifted a cot rail down and flung somebody we both know onto the floor, my God! she would have done it. Now I’m not going to say that what Elaine’s done is going to make me like her, because I never could, yet I’m going to give her credit for courage. And don’t you forget, lad, when you’re condemning her, that she had to pay for her courage, for as I see it, a breakdown is something to contend with. And that’s what caused the first lot. Why she should go off the rails again because you brought young Elizabeth into the nursery, God alone knows. But I suppose when you’re in that state any frustration will knock you back. Anyway, there it is. If you want my advice you’ll let things go on as they’ve been going on for years. The only other course of action is divorce, and that’s a mucky word to me. And anyway, you’ve got nothing on her to bring that about.’

  ‘I wouldn’t be too sure of that.’

  Now Mike screwed up his eyes as he stared at Joe and said quietly, ‘No?’

  ‘No. Can you see her traipsing regularly to London merely to do the shopping and stay with her uncle? She wouldn’t put herself out to stay with that old fellow unless it was for her own purpose, and I know what that purpose is.’

  ‘Aye?’

  ‘It’s over two years ago now that Marcus saw her in a restaurant with a man…’

  ‘Well, that isn’t much to go on.’

  ‘Wait a minute. He was up there for a week’s conference, Marcus, I mean. The third time he came across them he made himself known and she had to introduce the fellow. Marcus mightn’t have thought too much about it even then if she hadn’t said that the man was an old friend and they had just met that day.’

  Mike let out a long breath as he said, ‘Friends are always helpful, I’ll say that for them.’

  ‘I don’t blame Marcus for telling me, and it didn’t upset me. Well’—he turned his head to the side—‘the fact that I was being gulled did, but where my feelings were concerned, no. You once said I would have a slow awakening; you were right; but now my eyes are wide open, having been finally unglued some time back when I came across letters from him.’

  ‘Came across?’

  ‘Yes, I said, came across, after I had looked. She keeps the desk in the sitting room locked these days, but I have a number of keys.’ Those letters alone would give me a divorce.’

  ‘Who is the fella? Do you know of him?’

  ‘Oh, I know of him; she threw him up at me once or twice in the beginning. From what I pieced together they should have been married. I think she came to me on the rebound. Anyway, now he is married and has a family.’

  ‘My God! the things that happen in this house. You know’—Mike turned his face towards the window—‘this has never been a happy house, and yet, in a way, I’ve always loved it, sort of wanted to look after it. I was wondering the other day just how much longer we’ll be able to hang on to it.’ He turned now and looked at Joe. ‘It worries me that, among other things, lad, the fact that it might have to go.’

  ‘Oh, it won’t come to that.’

  ‘How can you be sure, if Baxter’s out-box us, so to speak, and with orders fading away?’

  ‘We’ve still got our capital.’

  ‘The capital will soon vanish, lad, if it’s got to boost a dying firm.’

  ‘Don’t worry; I won’t let it get that far; we’ll sell out first.’

  ‘My God!’—Mike wiped the spittle from the corner of his mouth—‘what things have come to after a lifetime of striving. It’s unbelievable. But anyway, to get back to where we were. What are you goin’ to say to her when she gets back?’

  ‘I’ll have to think about it.’

  ‘Aye, you d
o that, and try and think on it calmly. But what we both have to think about in the meantime is, how is Betty? She’s got a cold on her. And is it any wonder? How in the name of God she got you up that bank and home, I don’t know.’

  ‘Neither do I.’

  ‘Is she in bed?’

  ‘No; she’s lying on the couch in the drawing room.’

  ‘Well, if she gets no better I should ring the doctor.’

  ‘Yes, I had thought about doing that.’

  Mike turned in his chair and watched Joe walking towards the door and he said, quietly, ‘The next time you decide to get bloody drunk, lock yourself in your room.’ And Joe answered, ‘Yes, I’ll do that an’ all, and it could be tonight.’

  The doctor was called in to Betty on the Tuesday morning. Her temperature was a hundred and three, and he pronounced that she had a bad dose of bronchitis. During the day, her condition became worse, and Mary, meeting Joe as he entered the house, said to him, ‘Miss is real bad. I’m worried; I think the doctor should come again. That’s not just bronchitis, it’s pneumonia, if ever I’ve seen it.’

  When Dr Pearce arrived through slush and rain at eight o’clock that evening he confirmed Mary’s diagnosis; Betty had pneumonia, but he said they were not to worry; if Joe would send his man down he would give him some medication for her and some linctus to ease her breathing and cough, and he would look in again first thing next morning.

  By Friday everybody in the house knew that Betty was seriously ill. Her fever was still raging and her breathing was still very laboured. Joe went to the factory for an hour in the morning, then returned straight home. Twice during the day he phoned London, but there was no reply from the Hughes-Burton house.

  After putting the phone down for the third time he went into the dining room and poured himself out a stiff measure of whisky, and as he sipped at it he told himself that if Elaine didn’t come home that night he’d have to engage a nurse, because they couldn’t go on like this much longer. Everybody in the house was tired: Mary and Ella were worn out; even his father had struggled down from his attic abode to sit by Betty’s side, his face grim, his eyes wide with anxiety.