Receive

by Sarah Addison-Fox

  Kade worked his jaw for a long moment. Marriage? They’d shared one kiss, and Cester was pushing for marriage? What was with his captain and marriage?

  “How can I possibly afford that? It could take weeks to find her brother.” Kade said.

  Cester shrugged slightly. “Perhaps it will give you even more motivation to find him quickly then? If you leave in the next few days, you’ll have six weeks to make it back in time for your sister’s wedding.”

  Kade frowned hard for a moment. “I have six weeks to find Thomas, find out who hired Jax, and then get back for the wedding, but I can’t court Hadley till I find Thomas to ask? What if I can’t find him? What if he’s dead?”

  Cester narrowed his gaze. “Then you will be the last thing on her mind.”

  Heat reignited on his cheeks at the callousness of his words. “But still, the chances of finding him are pretty slim.”

  Cester raised his hands. “Then you can say you did all you could to find him, and your conscience will be clear.”

  Kade’s stomach tightened at the choice of words. He didn’t think his conscience could ever be clear. There was too much blood staining his hands. The most he could hope for was snatched moments of peace and happiness.

  “A whole lot seems to be hinging on Thomas. Why can’t I talk to Hadley, and we figure out if we want the same thing first?”

  Cester nodded slowly. “Of course, but be mindful the future is uncertain right now; if your feelings are real, they’ll still be in a few more weeks. Why not take the time to get to know her while you travel?”

  Kade’s toes tapped in his boots as he contemplated whether Cester’s idea had merit.

  Cester was only asking for his promise of his good intentions towards Hadley, and Kade was pretty sure his intentions were good. Weren’t they?

  Marriage seemed a little too serious right now, but maybe in the future? After things had settled down, and they knew where they stood?

  He only needed to ask Thomas if he could court Hadley, and if they could find him, he could do that easy enough. Easy.

  He almost winced at the thought. How would it be easy? To keep his distance after that kiss? After what that had done to him. It would take more than he was willing to give up.

  Kade held Cester’s steely-eyed gaze and knew he was once again being tested. He blew out another sigh. “Just so I’ve got this; I can’t act on my feelings until I find Thomas to ask if I can act on my feelings?”

  Cester’s smile crinkled into his eyes. “If you are in love with her, and you think you have a future together, I’d expect you to do the honourable thing and ask her to marry you, but until then take things slow. Find out if you want the same things from life. But I will need your promise you will abide by my conditions.”

  In love? Am I in love with her?

  Kade stared at his captain for a few beats. How had things progressed so quickly? His head was still reeling from the feel of her against him, and the best kiss he’d ever experienced. How was he supposed to separate those feelings from lasting ones? What did he know about marriage? He wasn’t sure he was even ready for that kind of commitment.

  “I can’t promise that,” he finally said.

  Cester’s face fell. “You can’t abide by my rules?”

  Kade shook his head quickly. “Of course, I’ll abide by your rules. I mean I can’t promise we’ll start courting with a view to get married because I can’t speak for Hadley; I don’t know if she wants that.”

  Cester’s expression merged into a smile as he nodded slowly as though pleased with the response. “You are thinking clearly after all.”

  Kade’s smile was weak as Cester extended his hand, signalling a truce Kade was grateful to accept. After an awkward handshake, Kade got to his feet, grateful Cester was at least giving him a chance to speak with Hadley.

  The enormity of what he was undertaking landed on him in a great weight that settled about his shoulders. As he took faltering steps towards the kitchen, Kade realised in one, angst-filled thought, that his future was now undeniably linked with Thomas’s.

  Whether or not they found Thomas alive, this was going to be the most defining retrieval of his career.

  Chapter Three

  Hadley paced the kitchen, her heart thudding in her chest as she listened to the raised voices from across the hall. What have I done?

  One impulsive, reckless moment, and now Kade was in trouble. Hadley dropped into her chair and placed her head in her hands. What had she been thinking?

  She’d gotten so caught up in her emotions, she’d lost all her common sense. Yes, Kade had returned the kiss, and it had been incredible, but now what?

  They still needed to leave to find Thomas; what if she had made things awkward? At the very least he was getting a scolding from his captain, but was there a possibility he’d be dismissed? Stripped of his new position all because she wanted to let him know she liked him?

  Hadley groaned at the stupidity. She’d thought it was all clear, thought that she could steal a moment with him, let him know she’d been worried, and now he was paying the price.

  Why hadn’t she waited? She was still chastising herself when the volume from across the way dimmed slightly. Hadley blew out a breath and risked looking up at the door.

  Still no sign of him. Her hands were still trembling, her mind still scattered. Was it so wrong to kiss him? To show him how she felt? Maybe she should go in and tell Cester it had been her doing and not Kade’s?

  Sure of herself and the desire to do the right thing, Hadley pushed to her feet, so focused on getting the wording just right, she smacked into Kade as he entered the kitchens.

  When she’d recovered the words were stilted. “I’m so sorry, I just wanted to—"

  His face relaxed from its scowl to a half smile. “Don’t be sorry.”

  At the words, heat splashed across her face. Is he smiling at me?

  Kade’s eyebrow cocked, his own cheeks carrying a little warmth. “It does complicate things a tad though.”

  Hadley took a step back, her stomach lurching, the words flowing out of her. “Are you in trouble? I’m so sorry. I don’t know what happened. I was thinking about what Meg said, and I was so happy you’re well, and I, I don’t know, I didn’t think about anything. I just wanted to, I mean, I just, oh, damn it.”

  A snort erupted from Kade at her nonsensical speech. He turned slightly as footsteps passed by the kitchen, and Hadley’s embarrassment grew as Cester paused in the doorway, his eyes on Kade. “Keep to the conditions, Stormer Kade.”

  Cester’s gaze moved to her, and his expression softened a little, enough to let her know he wasn’t angry with her. “I’ll give you two minutes.”

  Kade grimaced as he met Cester’s unwavering gaze. “I’ll meet you at the kennels in two then.”

  Cester gave him a short nod then pivoted on his heel, his clipped footsteps echoing over the thudding in her chest.

  Kade rubbed at his neck, eyes downcast, voice tight. “Cester made a few conditions; we need to keep to them if you’re going to come with us.”

  He managed a weak smile as he took a step backwards, his eyes on her. “We can’t be alone anymore; Cester’s pretty strict on that sort of thing.”

  Hadley’s heart sunk to her toes. “We can’t? Ever?”

  He shrugged and jammed his hands into his trouser pockets as though afraid he might touch her. “He wants me to ask your brother’s permission to, ah, you know, start seeing you officially.”

  Hadley’s eyebrows rose slowly, her eyes popping wider as she realised what Kade was saying. Her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth, her heart thumping at the old-fashioned concept, and the reminder of Thomas.

  Was Kade that serious? Already? How could he be sure he wanted to make that kind of commitment? With me.

  Her voice was hoarse as she spoke the words she’d been loath to contemplate. “What if we can’t find him? What happens then?”

  Kade took a quick look behind him, t
hen closed the gap between them, hands still deep in his pockets. “Then at least we’ll be together right? Long as we keep to his rules, we’re fine.”

  Hadley swallowed, her eyes on Kade’s as she forced an uneasy smile. “What are the rules?”

  Kade winced. “We can’t be alone, you have your own room at all times, and we promise not to act on anything even if we both might want it to happen again.”

  Hadley’s jaw slackened at the earnestness in his voice. Sincerity mixed with…disappointment perhaps? Surely he didn’t mean to hold to such an absurd concept?

  She swallowed back the doubt. “You promised him?”

  Kade’s lips tugged into an awkward smile, his shoulders lifting a fraction. “I had to make a promise not to kiss you again so I could take you with me.”

  His gaze drifted to her lips as he moved even closer, his voice low and throaty as he spoke. “See you later.”

  Hadley’s stomach fizzled at the intensity of his expression, and any doubt she’d had about taking a risk in kissing him disappeared as he reached out a finger and gently brushed her bottom lip.

  His gaze lingered on her as he drew his hand away, his breathing as uneven as hers, reluctance etched on his face as he turned and strolled out the door.

  With her mouth still on fire from where he’d touched her, Hadley blew out a breath, her heart thudding erratically as she attempted to bring order to her fevered body once more.

  Three days later

  Warmth from the mild morning sun heated Kade’s back as he loaded another armful of wood into Brute’s muscled arms.

  Without warning Brute’s face contorted, and Kade manged to sidestep before Brute released another of the powerful sneezes that had been plaguing him all morning.

  Brute shook his head and juggled the wood in his arms, his face pale, eyes watery and sweat creeping over his upper lip. “Ruddy Duke, he gave me this bleedin’ cold.”

  Kade frowned as he picked up more firewood and fell into step as they headed back to the woodshed. “Where did Duke pick up a bug from? No one here is sick, are they?”

  Brute’s eyes narrowed. “I never get sick; it can’t be me carrying the bot around with me.”

  Kade’s lips quirked, ready to argue that didn’t make sense when a thought jolted him. “How sick is Duke? I didn’t see him this morning?”

  While Brute recovered from a sneezing fit, that resulted in a piece of sap heavy wood taking a plunge into the earth, Kade realised he hadn’t seen Duke last night at dinner either. Hadley, however, had looked especially fetching in a new dress, the red and gold embroidery embellishing her narrow waist and the slope of gentle curves.

  It had taken all his concentration to not stare at her. As it was, he was getting far too many not-so-subtle looks from Meg anytime he and Hadley managed to be in the same room: which, unfortunately, between the arrangements to be made and the desire to keep Cester’s conditions, hadn’t been happening too often.

  At least Meg had been pleased. Even if Hadley had gotten to talk to her first, Meg’s watery-eyed grin and back-breaking hug when she’d arrived breathless and looking like a maniac at his cabin let him know she was thrilled.

  He’d sworn her to secrecy, and for the most part she was being discrete, but occasionally her poker face slipped, and a misplaced giggle would have to be stifled before one of the Stormers caught on. If anyone was going to, it would be Carl, which was not something any of them wanted to happen.

  Brute’s rumbling voice broke into his thoughts. “He’s worse than me, but you know Duke: one sniffle, and he’s at Ben’s telling him he’s on death’s door.”

  Kade chuckled, his thoughts still traipsing around between Hadley who’d be packing to leave, worry his sister would let something slip, and his concern for Duke not making the trip. “I’ll go see him; we’re supposed to be leaving in a few hours.”

  Brute shook his head and stepped inside the massive wood store, heading to the back where the newly felled pine trees needed to be seasoned in time for next winter. “Ben said no visitors: he’s got a stomach lurgy too.”

  Kade scrunched up his face at the information. “Great.”

  They carried on stacking, Brute stopping every now and then to swipe at his nose with a tattered looking rag he carried in his pocket. Brute wasn’t in any condition to travel either: if they ran into any kind of trouble and needed to fight or hide, one sneeze and Brute would give them away.

  Kade’s stomach tightened as he realised there was only one experienced Stormer left who was fit and well.

  He glanced sidelong at Brute as they pulled the woodhouse door shut. “Don’t suppose you know where my cousin is do you?”

  Brute shrugged. “He’s been keeping to himself since we got back, sulking about something.”

  Kade cocked an eyebrow as they headed back to the main pathway. The snow had all but disappeared in the three days since Hadley’s return. White petaled, buttery centred daffodils were pushing up alongside the pathway, and he vaguely wondered if he should pick some for Hadley. Was that breaking Cester’s rules?

  He scratched at the stubble and decided to shave it before they left. It was warm enough now, and if they were headed south where it was even warmer, he needed to get rid of it to blend in a little better.

  Duke was the perfect candidate to travel with. With Duke’s late mother a southerner, Duke had almost the right twang to his accent. His local knowledge would have been helpful, but if he was as sick as Brute was saying, he’d be forced to ask if Carl could take his place. Not something that either Cester or, he imagined, Carl would be happy about. “What’s he sulking about?”

  Brute’s sneeze caused a flock of nesting birds to burst from a tree above them. Brute wiped his nose again before answering. “You should probably talk to him; I don’t know what’s got up his nose. I can’t make any headway with him. Just when I think he’s not a complete idiot where girls are concerned, he starts it up again.”

  Kade stopped, his eyes narrowing, a hard lump in his throat. “Starts what up again?”

  Brute huffed out a breath and frowned. “I told him to leave Hadley alone, but he treats it like it’s a game; if she hadn’t stepped in and calmed me down, he’d have another broken tooth to whine about.”

  Kade’s blood heated at the confirmation. “But he’s not still trying?”

  Brute shrugged. “She told him what’s what, probably a dozen times that I heard. But he’s almost as thick headed as you. He’s decided Hadley’s fair game.”

  Kade sucked in a breath, his veins simmering with heat that he knew he needed to contain. Brute’s forehead knotted together. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty certain nothing happened between them, I only left them alone a few times, and Carl’s an idiot, but he knows when he’s gone too far; he’d never hurt her, I can say that much for him.”

  Kade ground his teeth together as they walked back towards the main house. Too many thoughts battered him, making his scowl grow even more than his usual woes.

  Brute spluttered a cough and shook his head. “I give up. I’m going back to my cabin; come say goodbye before you leave.”

  Kade nodded, distracted and angry as he plodded back to the main building. Just great. Once again, the gods had intervened and stolen anything good that came into his life.

  Now he had no choice but to talk to the one person he didn’t want anywhere near Hadley, let alone traveling with her for a month-long journey.

  Kade’s shoulders sagged as he ambled along, nodding his head and engaging in conversation at the right moments when Cester’s relatives spoke to him. His thoughts lingered on what was proving to be much more complicated task than he’d ever imagined.

  He almost laughed when he remembered he’d thought this would be an easy journey to undertake. If Carl had a bone to pick with him, and Hadley was caught in the middle, this was not going to be easy. Not one sodding bit of it.

  Inside the barn, sunlight splashed through the open doors. Hadley brushed down her mount a
nd shooed out the younger Stormer tasked with assisting her.

  She needed a moment alone, a moment to consider how things were changing. The scent of hay and the action of swift brush strokes worked to soothe her tangled nerves.

  Her dreams had been fraught, and she’d woken before the sun, unable to make sense of the multitude of thoughts running through her frazzled mind.

  Outside, she caught the sound of a dog’s barking, and her lips quirked. Luna would be accompanying them once more, if she had any doubt about travelling with Kade again, now that their relationship had shifted, Luna’s presence was sure to provide an excellent buffer.

  Her mind on her task, Hadley hefted her smaller saddle, made to fit the grey speckled mare she’d been given. She secured the blanket and eased the saddle on the mare, murmuring soft words to her as she tugged the saddle, testing to make sure it was a snug fit. The mount’s ears twitched, the slightest movement causing Hadley to turn to the doors.

  Her stomach tightened, and her heart rate jumped when Carl stepped forward. His eyes focused on her as he stepped across the hay-strewn floor. She swallowed and turned her attention back to the job at hand, hoping he’d take the hint and leave.

  His shadow crept over the ground beside her, and she steeled herself for whatever he was planning on saying. She’d barely seen him since arriving, aside from the times they crossed paths for meals and the odd occasion she’d caught sight of him skulking around, expression sour and face tense.

  The silence stretched painfully as he stood alongside her. What was he doing? Standing while she worked, just staring? She could almost feel his eyes on her. Her cheeks flushed with irritation. Why wasn’t he leaving?

  Hadley’s frustration grew as she stepped around the front of her mount, to brush the opposite side, only to find him staring at her as if trying to piece together a difficult puzzle. “What?” she snapped.

  The mare snorted, and Carl’s shoulders raised in a lazy shrug. “Came to say goodbye that’s all. You’re leaving in a few hours.”