Had she really agreed to marry him? Even though he’d wanted her to come to this conclusion, he’d never for a second imagined she’d do it so quickly.
He tried to push the image of her being with him permanently from his mind, as well as what it would do to him to see her every day—sleep tousled in the morning, curled up with a book on a winter’s day, hot chocolate clinging to her lip. He had to be sure she knew what that sort of commitment meant.
He’d never told her how her leaving so suddenly had affected him, but he wanted to now so that she’d understand why he needed to believe she’d never do the same thing to Phoebe and Zoë. So that she realized what she was agreeing to.
He tried to stay calm, but his memories of that almost unbearable loss and sadness came bubbling to the surface. “How do I know, Liv?” he asked as she turned to him. “How do I know you won’t agree to this and then run out when it all gets too tough?”
Her gaze was unflinching, her arm still beneath his hand. “Because I’ll prove it to you.”
“Can you imagine how I felt when you left me that day in Paris?” he said. “Without reason or explanation, you just said we were finished.”
Her gaze softened and her eyes glistened. “I’m sorry, Markus.”
He pushed on, willing her to understand the effect her decision had had on him so she’d know why she could never do this to the girls. “So why did you? I know my risk taking was a problem, and that I wasn’t stopping when you asked me to was a huge factor. But we could have gone to counseling, maybe come to an understanding together about what was happening. You didn’t want any of that.”
He hadn’t intended the words to come out in such a rush, but it was as if they’d been stoppered in a bottle and had finally found their freedom. “After everything we’d shared, the love we had, why did you walk out on all that without a fight?”
She moved her lips as if to speak but nothing came out.
“Please. I need to understand this. If we’re going to make this commitment to the girls forever, I need to understand what made you run last time, so I know it won’t happen again.”
She closed her eyes briefly, and then she took a deep breath and pulled her arm away. “I could see my future. With all its uncertainty and tragedy, I could see a life with you panning out the same way as my past.” She looked up at him, her eyes open and endless. “I asked you to stop taking risks, stop putting your life in jeopardy, but you wouldn’t.” She took a stuttering breath. “I imagined going to your funeral and I had to save myself from going through that all over again.”
Markus rested an elbow on the door and rubbed a hand across his chin, his frustration mixing with relief that this was out in the open. “But I needed to do those things then.” Deep inside he understood her point, particularly now he was responsible for the girls.
Liv sighed. “Markus, it doesn’t get away from the fact that you lived your life in just the same way my parents did, and I couldn’t put myself through the terror of a late-night phone call from an ‘unknown’ caller again. The fear you’d be trapped underground, or that this time your parachute wouldn’t open, or any of the multitude of other things that could have gone wrong.”
“But you stayed until that point. Even though you didn’t want me to do those things. What made you finish everything then? Why that day?”
She sat silently, the corners of her mouth moving slightly as if she might speak, but an uncomfortable silence squeezed between them.
He turned his body toward her, cherishing the depth of their conversation and wanting to hear her say what was deepest in her heart. “You can tell me, Liv. We’re miles past that point. I need to know why you left me. Why then?”
It was only one word, and she said it so quietly the inside of the car seemed to strain to hear it. “Children.”
The air around collapsed in on him as his heart crashed in his chest. She’d wanted children? His baby? After he’d brought it up so many times and she’d said no? The word in all its irony cried in his ears.
He waited, his hand so close to hers, aching to reach out.
Her voice fractured. “You were late from a caving trip we’d argued over, and as I sat looking at the dinner I’d cooked go cold, I knew the waiting for you, the fear for your life, would go on forever. It had been just bearable for me, but I knew you wanted children and I didn’t want any child to go through the same anguish I had. I knew where our relationship was heading, and I couldn’t bring children into the world knowing they might lose a parent just as I had.”
He tried to suppress it, but the sigh that squeezed from his lungs was audible. This couldn’t be happening. Liv knew he’d wanted children but she didn’t want to have them with him. And now that they had the possibility of bringing up children together, it was all to be part of some practical arrangement.
The cruel reality burned deep in his chest. Why hadn’t he known? Why hadn’t he seen it? And now she was prepared to do exactly the same thing for Phoebe and Zoë. Change her life to protect them.
The chains he’d kept wrapped around his heart for five long years burst open, and he cursed ever suggesting a marriage to trick her into showing her true colors. Now that he knew the truth, he wanted everything to be different.
8
“I’m not sure I can do this,” Markus said as they sat in a sterile room at the clinic and waited for the doctor. The nurse had done the initial exam, but they needed the doctor to complete the paternity test.
“Have blood drawn?” Liv frowned. “I don’t remember you being afraid of needles.”
“Let the girls have blood drawn.” He shifted on the hard plastic chair. “Can you imagine how they find a vein in such a tiny body?” He stroked Zoë’s arm through her white cotton jumpsuit as he spoke, and his skin chilled at the thought of it.
“You’d think they’d have had blood typing done when they were born.” Liv rocked Phoebe’s capsule.
He turned to Liv, his unease morphing into dread. “Wouldn’t you think that would be enough? Why do they have to go through this all again?”
“It’s just a step in the process, Markus.” She spoke quietly and he voice calmed him. “Nothing can move forward until there’s proof of paternity. It’s what has to be done. Surely you’re not suggesting we abandon the tests altogether?”
He shook his head slowly.
“I don’t want the girls to suffer any more than you do,” she said, “but we need to go through this before any sort of formal custody is granted or adoption can go ahead.”
He chewed his bottom lip as the doctor entered and spoke to him in Greek.
“The doctor asked if we want to do this separately,” Markus explained to Liv. “Doctor, would you mind if we speak in English so Liv can understand everything?”
The doctor nodded.
“What would you like to do,” Liv asked. “Would you like me to take the girls out so you can have your blood taken privately?”
“I will do the procedure on the babies first,” the doctor said in English as he moved to a table covered with various vials and pieces of medical equipment.
Markus hesitated, his gaze shifting from the babies to the table and back again.
“I seem to have forgotten one of the laboratory forms,” the doctor said. “I will be back in a moment.”
As soon as the doctor had shut the door, Markus stood up. “I didn’t realize it would feel like this.” His voice was strained.
Liv’s eyes widened. “What do you mean?”
“Putting the girls through this test. I’m responsible for them, and I’m making them go through pain so we can find out a fact that already exists. I’m not their father.” On the last word his voice cracked, and he sat down again. “There must be another way we can work this out, some way that doesn’t involve putting the girls through all this.”
Liv reached out a hand to him. “We need to do this to move forward, Markus. We won’t have any claim on the girls until this step’s been taken. I
don’t want to hurt the girls any more than you do, but we don’t have a choice.”
Markus picked up Zoë from her baby seat then placed his hand tenderly on her head. Warmth from her body seeped into his. Her lashes moved up and down as she blinked at him, and his throat constricted. He’d been responsible for these babies since the day their mommy died, and now he had to make decisions that could hurt them. Liv’s hand was warm on his arm. Could she know the real reason he didn’t want to go through with this? The devastating possibility that, when the fact the girls weren’t his was out in the open, Liv would have every right to take them away? That she could leave him alone and in love with her one more time?
“We need to do this, Markus.” Her words were a half whisper. “We owe it to the girls as well, to give them some sort of surety, a sense of certainty as to who they really are. We’ll ask the doctor to make it as painless as possible. Maybe there’s some sort of local anesthetic ointment he can use first.”
The doctor entered the room again and glanced at both of them. “There is a problem?”
Markus turned to look at Zoë, so Liv answered for him. “Markus doesn’t want to go through with this. He doesn’t want the babies to feel any pain.”
The doctor moved to the table of equipment. He picked up a long narrow cylinder, unscrewed the top and pulled out a long plastic stick with a tiny swab on the end. “We do not need to draw blood from the babies, if that is what you are concerned about,” he explained. “I have blood detail taken when they were born, so in this case, I can just scrape some cells from the inside of the babies’ cheeks and then place the whole thing in this sterile, sealed container to be taken to the laboratory. The babies will feel nothing more than a light brush.”
Relief pulsed through Markus as he realized the girls wouldn’t have to endure a needle. He sat straighter and threw a smile at Liv. It was time to move on, for the truth to be out, so they could really get on with their lives.
Emerging from the doctor’s office was like stepping into a raging furnace. The sun punched onto Liv’s bare skin, and she trailed a cotton scarf over her head and shoulders to try and minimize its burn.
The girls were exhausted from their wellness exam. After being prodded and poked, including having the insides of their cheeks swabbed as part of the paternity test, they were now fast asleep inside light cotton sleep sacks in their stroller.
Markus had had blood taken and had a pink and blue plaster stuck to the soft curve of his elbow.
“Too nice a day to waste.” Markus grinned as he flipped sunglasses from the top of his head onto his face. “Are you hungry? I know a little zaharoplastio we could go to before we head back.”
Liv fell into step beside him as he pushed the buggy ahead of his long stride. “A what?”
“A sugar shop.” Smile lines bracketed his mouth. “They’re a little like a Parisian patisserie but with lots of Greek and Middle Eastern delicacies. I think you’ll like it.” His delicious smile was playing havoc with her insides.
“Sounds yummy,” Liv said as they made their way down the side street and joined up with a boulevard hugging the sapphire sea front. Dust from the road created a haze ahead of them and the aroma of baked earth and sea salt reached Liv’s nose. It was a stunning town.
“Savvas does the best baklava I’ve ever tasted, and I can usually squeeze in an ice cream if I try hard enough,” he said. “It’s about time you started to experience some of the Cypriot culture.” The warmth of his tone sang in Liv’s ears. He wanted her to be here. After everything they’d said to each other, the revelations and explanations, he wanted her to be a mother to Phoebe and Zoë.
“Had you been here much before you moved to take over the business?” She looked around, taking in the gently swaying palm trees and beige buildings. “I remember you talking about traveling a bit with your parents.”
“My mom grew up in a small village in the hills beyond here.” He peered through the plastic window of the girls’ sunshade. “I’ll take you and the girls there sometime. I still have some aunts living off the land, making wine, honey, that sort of thing. You’d love it.” His genuine, free smile sailed straight into her heart. “It wasn’t so much of a tourist place back then, though, just a sleepy seaside town. We visited here a lot when I was little. Dad is from Lesvos, so we’d often visit there and then come here after wedding season back home. Dad’s still the chef at my aunt and uncle’s wedding venue in Brentwood Bay.”
“Oh, that’s right, I remember The Aegean Palace.” She thought fondly of Markus’s jolly dad, Leo, and his sweet mom, Mila. Unthinking, she touched his arm and squeezed before quickly drawing it back. “You took me there once for one of your cousin’s birthdays.”
“It’s a pretty special place,” he smiled, then looked out to the bay. “But so is this. What do you think of Cyprus, so far?”
Liv looked around her at the groups of tourists searching through racks of swimsuits and sun hats. In the distance, people strolled along a sea wall in front of huge yachts. A couple of stocky pelicans dried their wings in the sun.
“I could get used to living here.” She looked sideways at him, and his mouth kicked up at the corner. “It’s gorgeous.”
A barrier had lifted between them. The weight of uncertainty was gone now they’d discussed the future, and a kaleidoscope of possibilities were running through her mind. How would it work? Where would she live? They couldn’t live in the same house but maybe she could rent one close by. Could she ask her boss in Switzerland about getting her old job back and working from here? She’d need to think about how she’d support herself, but it was already clear that this would be an exquisite place to bring up the girls, if that’s what she and Markus both decided.
“We can go and see the catacombs some time.” Markus rounded a corner, and she followed him into a little cobbled lane lined with ancient stones, worn smooth, perhaps, from lovers walking hand in hand here for centuries. “And the ancient mosaics.”
Wonder bubbled inside Liv that she was sharing a part of Markus she’d never known before. Paris had been a dream, a fantasy life for both of them, and he’d spoken very seldom about his culture, and an unusual warmth enveloped her.
“Here we are.” Markus stopped in front of a tiny store. A glass frontage showed a few tables and chairs scattered inside, but most of the interior was taken up by an enormous counter.
“I’m not sure if we’ll fit,” he said as he lined up the stroller with the doorway. The huge double stroller was never going to make it through. “I don’t want to wake the girls.” He tried it from a different angle.
“Don’t worry,” Liv said, disappointed that she couldn’t get closer to the gorgeous looking cakes in the window but happy not to disturb the girls. “Maybe we can try somewhere else.”
“No.” Markus threw her a grin. “This is the best baklava in Cyprus. I’m not letting you miss out.”
“Savva!” He called through the door, and in seconds, a huge man draped in a long white apron was chatting to him in Greek in the doorway. The rich sound of Markus’s foreign words carried her away for a moment, his chocolate over gravel tone wrapping around her like scraps of silk. She’d need to learn Greek, study the culture and history, and the thought was thrilling.
“He’s bringing us a table outside,” Markus said. “Let’s move under the shade.”
Minutes later they were seated at a table, the buggy pushed in like an extra two seats. “Do we go and choose?” Liv asked.
Markus pushed his glasses up on his head and his velvet brown eyes twinkled. “I asked Savvas to bring us his finest.”
One of the girls began to gurgle, and they both reached for the sunshade at the same time. Their fingers only inches apart, Liv had to ignore the bold shot of heat that burned through her as she remembered the pressure of his touch. The physical longing she had when she was near him would go away soon. When they’d worked out the practicalities of caring for the girls, those reactions would gradually dimin
ish. She just had to ignore the intensity of them in the meantime.
She sat back, relieved to be released from the trap of her response, and she watched while Markus stood and then lifted the shade before unbuckling Phoebe and then gently drawing her from her seat. His devoted smile caused Liv’s stomach to do a little flip as he raised the tiny girl to his lips and kissed her forehead.
“I’ll ask Savvas to warm her a bottle.” He pulled the baby bag from the bottom of the stroller. It was such a different scene from the pacing up and down in the evenings, but despite the tiredness that crawled through her veins, Markus’s concern was like a thread of sunshine.
“A-ha,” he said as Savvas bustled over with a tray of plates. “Efharisto, Savva.”
The shop owner pointed to each dish and gave an explanation in Greek. There was a small plate of pastry triangles with nuts that Liv recognized as baklava, another with small pies that contained a rich-looking cream, two pots of ice cream and two of the tiniest coffees she’d ever seen.
She leaned back in the chair and sighed, letting the tension of the last few days flow out of her.
“We can order more later,” Markus said, and she laughed out loud.
“This could last us for a week!”
“We’ll take some kataifi back for Petro,” said Markus as they ate. “He’s got a very sweet tooth.”
“Yes, let’s.”
“The doctor’s visit went well.” After testing it, Markus put the warmed bottle Savvas had delivered to Phoebe’s lips. “She said paternity results will be sent out as soon as possible.”
Liv twisted a serviette in her fingers. “Are you worried about what’ll happen when they do come? I mean, when the authorities know you’re not the girls’ father, they could look for who might be.”
“No one knows who he is.” Markus reminded her. “Polly wouldn’t tell me. She wouldn’t even say what town she’d been living in. And clearly the guy didn’t want anything more to do with her. He threatened her and the babies when she told him she was pregnant.”
A Family for Good : A sweet, small town, second chance romance (Tall Dark and Driven Book 6) Page 10