The Perfect Gift

by Emma Hannigan

  Nell thought the young girl would explode with excitement.

  ‘Look at what the stupid eejit called me!’ she said as she traced her finger along the words. ‘I recognise the second word because it’s my name. But the first one says muh,’ she sounded it out. ‘Ha!’ she giggled. ‘It’s says I’m called Mini Mouse!’

  ‘They didn’t really print that, did they?’ Nell said looking over her shoulder.

  ‘They certainly did,’ Mo said. ‘Good for you, love. No matter what your name is, you’re now famous!’

  ‘Deadly,’ she said. ‘Can I keep this?’ she asked Mo.

  ‘Yes, love. That copy is for you. The other one is for Nell.’

  ‘Thank you. I’ll look at it later,’ Nell muttered, making it quite clear she wasn’t going to sit and go through every page of the local paper with them.

  Excusing herself, she pulled on her boots and ventured outside. Her garden was looking particularly cheerful as she stooped to pull some weeds. A thought had struck her last night. She needed to encourage Mouse to get out a bit and integrate herself with the locals. There was nothing wrong with her as such. She wasn’t ill like poor Laura had been. It wasn’t right that she should sit out here and have no friends.

  She put in a good hour’s work in the garden then went inside the empty kitchen and called up the stairs, ‘Mouse, can you come here for a minute?’

  ‘Yeah?’ she appeared looking intrigued.

  ‘Grab your anorak. We’re going into town. As in Galway city.’

  ‘Huh?’ she said. ‘For what?’

  ‘You need clothes and more than that, you need to start getting out.’

  ‘Deadly,’ she said. ‘I love shopping.’

  Nell pulled off her gardening clobber and found a pair of linen trousers and a white oversized shirt. Releasing her hair from the tightly scraped-back bun she shook it out and teased it into a slightly less severe-looking chignon. Leaning into the mirror, she wondered if she ought to put on make-up or even some sort of cream. All she had was a tub of generic moisturiser from the supermarket so she slathered some on.

  Mouse was outside waiting. Through the window she gazed at the young girl. She was a funny little creature. In a way she was as wild as a boar and in others she was totally refined and ladylike. She was easily pleased and didn’t expect anything at all.

  ‘Mo, we’re going up to Galway city. If we don’t see you later, I suppose we’ll see you next week.’

  Nell almost laughed at the gobsmacked look on Mo’s face.

  She started the car and Mouse jumped in.

  ‘The last time I got clothes I robbed them,’ she admitted. ‘It was only a polo-neck and a pair of leggings, but I’d no money.’

  ‘If you’d no money, then you shouldn’t have gotten them,’ Nell barked. ‘Stealing is wrong. What about the poor shop owner you swiped from?’

  ‘Ah it was Penney’s. They don’t care. They have about a thousand pairs of leggings anyhow.’

  ‘That’s not the point. You shouldn’t do it.’

  ‘I suppose not,’ Mouse said yawning.

  Nell stifled a grin. The girl had no remorse and clearly didn’t feel she’d done anything wrong.

  ‘Now, stealing a car and every bit of jewellery some toff-nosed lady owns, that’s bad form,’ Mouse said. ‘Leggings and a top are low grade in the greater scheme of things.’

  ‘In the greater scheme of things it’s best not to nick anything at all.’

  ‘In an ideal world,’ Mouse corrected.

  ‘Well, let there be no stealing today. I don’t have a king’s ransom to spend on you, but we’ll deck you out and all of it will be paid for.’

  ‘What do you normally spend your money on?’ Mouse asked.

  ‘I save,’ she said.

  ‘For what?’ She laughed. ‘Can’t be a rainy day because there’ve been so many of them it’s a joke. Are you going to break out some day and buy a mansion and a Rolls Royce?’

  ‘I doubt it,’ said Nell. ‘But who knows?’

  It was such a long time since she’d had a day like this. The fact it was a spur of the moment thing was probably better, Nell mused.

  They found a multi-storey car park that she swore wasn’t there the last time she’d visited Galway. It was like a maze as they tried to find a way out.

  ‘This is like a bleedin’ rabbit warren,’ Mouse said. ‘They don’t make it easy to get out. Do we need to answer questions and find clues to get to a street?’

  ‘Here we go,’ Nell said spotting an exit. They found themselves on the edge of a bustling street with Eyre Square in the centre.

  ‘This place is deadly. It’s like a mixture of a fairground and a city.’

  ‘Galway is a really cultural place,’ Nell said. ‘Laura used to love coming here. We’d go to the hospital and once she was well enough, we’d come and wander around Shop Street and see the street performers.’

  ‘You said she was all into art and stuff. Did she do any paintings that you kept?’

  ‘Yes, a few,’ Nell said. ‘But they’re stored safely in the back of a wardrobe.’

  ‘Why on earth would you do that? If they were mine I’d have them in pride of place so the whole world could see them. Well, in your case that’d be you and Mo and now me.’

  ‘I’ll take your thoughts into consideration. Maybe I’ll put them up on the walls.’

  ‘Hey,’ Mouse held her hands aloft. ‘No grief from me. It’s totally up to you.’ Her attention was drawn immediately from the conversation as she was distracted by something. ‘No way!’ she said shooting forward, causing Nell to quicken her pace. ‘Look at the shops. They have everything from Dublin with some extra weird ones that I don’t know.’

  Nell trailed behind Mouse for a bit, lost in her own memories. The street seemed to be echoing with Laura’s laughter. In her mind’s eye she could see her daughter pointing at things of interest while tugging at her sleeve.

  ‘Nell? Cock-a-doodle-do?’ Mouse said waving at her. ‘Earth to Nell, come in Nell!’

  ‘What?’ she barked.

  ‘I’m going in here, that’s all.’ Mouse stomped away looking hurt.

  Nell charged after her and grabbed her by the shoulder. ‘Don’t mind me. I wasn’t being gruff with you, Mouse. I was reminiscing and it made me sad. I’m sorry.’

  ‘Hey, it’s cool,’ Mouse said looking instantly fine. Nell marvelled once again at how resilient the young girl was. She really knew how to let things roll off her without taking anything to heart. She was a tough little cookie in many ways.

  A different side of her emerged over the next few minutes, however. They found a massive store with three floors of thumping music and a huge array of colourful and fun clothes. Glancing at some of the price tags, Nell was pleasantly surprised.

  ‘This place is from the States,’ Mouse said knowingly. ‘It’s pure class, isn’t it? I want every single thing in here! If you told me I could have one of each thing, I would grab it and run until I got to the moon!’

  Nell giggled and said, ‘Thank you, Mouse.’

  ‘Janey Mac, I think you’ve gone loo-lah,’ said Mouse. ‘Why are you saying thank you to me?’

  ‘Because your enthusiasm is infectious. I can’t get you one of everything but here are a few euros. Go on and knock yourself out.’ She handed Mouse a wad of twenty euro notes.

  ‘I can’t take that,’ she said eyeballing the money and chewing the inside of her lip.

  ‘You can and you will. You’ll offend me if you don’t.’

  ‘Grand. Fair enough, you’ve convinced me,’ she said and nearly took Nell’s hand off grabbing it.

  Nell didn’t hold back and burst out laughing. ‘Now that’s what I like to see! A girl who knows what she ought to do.’

  Mouse ran off and then appeared a few minutes later. ‘There you are,’ she said, sounding slightly out of breath. ‘Come on. You’re missing stuff by standing there all misty-eyed.’

  ‘Laura would’ve been in he
aven in here,’ Nell said.

  ‘Well please God she’s here with us now and seeing as she is actually in heaven, that’s a good thing, right?’ Mouse cocked her head to the side and looked into Nell’s eyes. Yet again the older woman couldn’t help smiling. Mouse was so direct and said it as she felt it, but she wasn’t offensive. That was a true gift.

  ‘Let’s try on some things then,’ Nell said, deciding to make the most of the day and enjoy the moment.

  ‘Are you buying a glittery tube mini-skirt?’ Mouse asked. ‘Ooh you’d be a right sight strutting around the supermarket in Ballyshore in that! Give the auld fishermen something to make them choke on their dentures.’

  Nell thoroughly enjoyed the fashion show that followed. She sat comfortably on a pretty armchair while Mouse danced in and out of a changing cubicle in various outfits.

  ‘Sick, right?’ she said appearing in a pink jumpsuit.

  ‘No, I like it,’ Nell said.

  ‘Sick means good,’ Mouse deadpanned.

  ‘OK, sick then.’

  The next dress, a white shimmery number with a leg slit so high Nell feared she might see Mouse’s rib cage, got the thumbs down.

  ‘Not your best so far,’ Nell said.

  ‘Rancid more like it.’

  By the time Mouse had a neat pile of ‘sick’ items, Nell was ready for some food. They paid for the clothes and joined the queue at the in-house coffee shop. Nell chose and paid for two ham and cheese toasties, a coffee for her and a frappé for Mouse, who’d disappeared off to the ladies.

  By the time she came back, Nell was at the top of the queue so Mouse scanned the busy seating area and said she’d find them somewhere.

  ‘Does your daughter want cream on the frappé?’ the man behind the counter asked. It was at the tip of Nell’s tongue to correct him when a warm feeling came over her.

  ‘Yes,’ she answered. ‘She loves cream. I do too. Can I have a squirt in my coffee?’

  ‘Like Mammy, like daughter eh?’ the man said. ‘Here you go. Enjoy your day out. Nothing like it.’

  ‘No there isn’t,’ Nell said.

  As she balanced the tray and found Mouse, she realised it was the first time in years she’d actually spoken to a stranger. She hadn’t seen the point for so long. She hadn’t anything to say. She’d nothing to share apart from misery so she’d come to the conclusion that it was easier not to bother.

  Mouse chattered about a pair of shoes she’d spotted and said she was going to go back and get them. She placed her hand over Nell’s on the table. Nell regarded it. She was utterly tiny. Petite was the politically correct adjective. But her fingernails were like those of a small child. Her wrist bones were so delicate and fragile looking, it made her want to protect her all the more.

  ‘Thanks, Nell. You’ve been nicer to me than anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t know why you’ve taken me in. But I’ll never stop being grateful.’

  ‘What a lovely thing to say,’ she said. ‘If I’m honest, I would never have dreamed of having anyone come and live with me. I was happy. At least I thought I was …’

  ‘And now?’

  ‘You’ve opened my eyes to the world again, Mouse. More than that, you’ve opened my heart once more. It was frozen in time, you know?’

  ‘I kind of figured. If I overstay my welcome, tell me, yeah? I don’t have a whole lot of cop-on. So don’t be shy. Say what you think and if you want me out, I’ll be gone.’

  ‘You’re welcome to stay as long as you like,’ Nell said, sounding choked. ‘You’re a breath of fresh air, Mouse. One that I needed badly.’

  Mouse grinned and held her gaze for a split-second before she returned to her food. She gobbled her lunch and was like a hen on a hot griddle, waiting for Nell to hurry up.

  ‘Why don’t you go over there and try the tracksuit top? I’ll follow when I’m finished my coffee.’

  ‘How did you know?’

  ‘Ah sometimes I think I’m a bit psychic,’ she teased. The joke was lost on Mouse, who sprang up and shot across the store.

  It was more than Nell could bear when she spied a young woman in a wheelchair. She instantly made her think of Laura. The girl seemed quite upbeat and was happily manoeuvring herself around the store. She was pointing to a vest top and her friend was lifting it down. She shook her head and stuck her tongue out and they both giggled.

  As Nell watched her interacting with a shop assistant and two other girls, she wondered whether or not Laura might have been more outgoing if she wasn’t so ill. Or, she mused, if she hadn’t kept her locked away. The image of Rapunzel that Mouse had put her finger on had been bothering her. Had she made Laura’s short life more miserable than necessary? Had she added to the anguish by encouraging her to spend time with her at the lighthouse? As the years rolled by and Laura’s condition worsened, their visits to the city or anywhere else were less frequent. Until eventually, the doctors delivered their most brutal blow.

  ‘There’s not a lot else we can do for Laura if her condition deteriorates any further. Her heart is weak. We can prescribe a higher dose of medication and that will give her a boost for a bit. It will help in the short term with the diabetes, but we need to realise that it will be dangerous to her heart. And once that either stops being effective, or it affects her heart, that’s it. We’ve run out of options.’

  Laura had cried. In fact, she’d sobbed uncontrollably and thumped the desk and then the walls of the hospital corridor.

  ‘Why have I been cursed with this bastard disease?’

  Nell did all she could to comfort her, but for the first time it wasn’t enough.

  Things stabilised after that for a few weeks. Laura was calmer than she’d ever been. Then she dropped the bomb Nell hadn’t been expecting.

  ‘I’m going on a trip,’ she said. ‘On my own.’

  ‘I beg your pardon?’ Nell said in astonishment. ‘You can’t go too far, love. You’re not well … I know you’re feeling better right now because of the drugs, but the doctors said that won’t last.’

  ‘I’m well aware of the fact I’m ill, Ma. It’s dictated every move I’ve ever made. Every day of my life has been ruled by diabetes. So I’ve made a decision. Call it my bucket list moment, but I’m going to Australia.’

  ‘Australia?’ Nell blanched. ‘But it’s so far. Laura, it’s such a long journey. I don’t even know if the doctors will allow you to fly.’

  ‘I’m a step ahead of you,’ Laura said. ‘I have consent. Besides, I’m being met by my father at the other end.’ Nell could still remember so vividly how she’d felt at that moment. It was as if a bag of wet sand had been dumped on her head from a height. Her breath caught and she honestly wanted to scream, except no noise came out.

  ‘What do you mean your father?’ she eventually managed.

  ‘I found some stuff in a drawer,’ she said, displaying a newfound determination. ‘I contacted him and told him that I’m sick.’

  ‘Laura!’ Nell said in shock.

  ‘I told him I’m dying,’ she repeated. ‘And that I want to meet him before that happens.’

  ‘But why?’

  ‘Because he’s my father and I’ve always wondered about him.’

  Nell had never thought she could be put in such a heart-wrenching situation. How could she stand in her dying daughter’s way? She’d had no choice but to let her go.

  Seeing Mouse bustling toward her with a grin from ear to ear forced Nell to stop reminiscing. She didn’t want to spoil Mouse’s fun, so she shoved her chair back, took a deep breath and forced herself to shut down on the pain that was threatening to bubble out of her like a dormant volcano.

  ‘What have you bought now?’ she asked.

  ‘Shoes. I love love love them. They’re so sick they’re in danger of totally dying!’ Nell smiled.

  ‘Good for you, Mouse.’

  They left the store and spent a further hour browsing before Mouse looked bushed.

  ‘Will we go back to the lighthouse, Rapunzel?�
� she asked Nell.

  ‘Come on then, you cheeky mare,’ Nell said.

  As Mouse babbled about the difference between shopping with money as opposed to plotting to steal things, she couldn’t help being amused. Mouse was nothing like Laura really. But she was refreshing and open and incredibly likeable. Nell knew she needed to be grateful for small mercies. As they scrunched the bags of things into the compact boot of the car, Nell made a conscious decision to try and give life in general another chance.

  Chapter 26

  It was a full week since Liv had gone into hospital. Keeley had a good routine going with the children. They were as good as gold really and she couldn’t fault them.

  They had killed two birds with one stone by agreeing that Róisín would move into Liv’s house for the time being. She needed to get out of Jill’s sex den, as she called the cottage.

  ‘They’re at it like rabbits,’ she told Keeley.

  ‘Well all of that aside, I’m glad you’ve agreed because it’s so much easier for me to be at the B&B during the night. Your father isn’t great at the really early morning starts and I suspect he’s leaving guests to their own devices any time I’m not there. One couple left without paying the other morning and he didn’t even notice.’

  ‘Don’t worry, Mum,’ Róisín assured her. ‘I’ve nothing else to do, so I may as well step into Liv’s shoes for the evenings and nights. It’s a pleasure to mind the children anyhow.’

  ‘Well, you’ve more than enough going on, love,’ Keeley said. ‘I wasn’t insinuating you didn’t. I’m simply trying to say I’m grateful that you’re helping me and your sister so much.’

  Róisín arrived every morning with Billy and Jess and handed them over to Keeley while she went to Nourriture.

  ‘Here we are,’ she called out cheerfully this morning and they all landed into the kitchen.

  ‘Good morning, darlings,’ Keeley called out.

  She watched Róisín carefully these days, noting her tired eyes that suggested something was coming between her and her sleep. Keeley knew she needed to sit down with Róisín and see how she was in general. She hadn’t spoken to her properly since Liv was taken into hospital. Nobody knew Róisín better than Keeley did. She was well aware that her daughter was a deep thinker who didn’t talk about her feelings willingly. But there was something serious going on inside that pretty head of hers. Keeley knew she wasn’t being paranoid this time. There was a conversation lurking and she needed to have it. Just as Róisín was saying goodbye to the children before rushing off to work, the landline rang.