‘I suppose,’ Rob said looking puzzled. ‘They’re a certain look, that’s for sure. Not like me and my family! We look like we’ve just been pulled from a barn and thrown into our clothes. None of that polished look about us.’
‘The long hair, shaggy beard and jeans with a T-shirt look is a far cry from Claus and his perfect designer gear for sure,’ she smiled. ‘That’s odd,’ she said, peering out the window. ‘Claus is gone out the other door from the wine shop without saying goodbye.’
‘Is he normally friendly?’ he asked.
‘Yeah. To be honest, he can be a little bit of a sticky plaster. I hate saying that because it sounds really mean, but he has a tendency to hang about and look for company. I don’t mind a lot of the time, but if I’m super busy it can be a strain.’
‘I know what you mean. But I guess he’s lonely … I can’t get it out of my head that I know his face … anyway, I’ll go and leave you to it. If you can escape, I’ll be on the beach gulping in fresh air and trying not to keel over!’
‘Enjoy!’ she said. ‘Hey, are you staying at the guesthouse tonight?’
‘Yeah, I’ll head off early in the morning, but I think I need one more night off from my life.’
‘No pressure, but I’d be happy to give you dinner if you want to drop by after I close? Say, seven? It won’t be a late one because I’ll need to get back to Liv. But I would love a quiet meal where there aren’t ructions with little ones. I adore my niece and nephew, but my delicate head would be a lot better if I’m not hungry when I get home. Besides, Liv’s idea of cooking doesn’t stretch much past chicken nuggets and tinned pasta hoops.’
‘Sounds like an offer I cannot refuse!’ he said. ‘See you later.’
Nourriture was really busy, spurred on by the clear blue skies and crisp sunlight. All the picnic food sold out and they did a brisk trade on smoothies and ice creams. By the time the shop closed and she filled out the orders for the following day, Róisín could barely stay awake.
She prepared two plates of food and made a jug of refreshing juice with home-made elderflower cordial and sparkling water.
A gentle rap on the door let her know Rob was there.
‘How’s it going?’ she said letting him in. ‘How was your afternoon?’
‘Nice, thanks,’ he said. ‘How was yours? There were loads of people on the beach with your signature paper bags, so I’m guessing it was busy.’
‘Yeah, I can’t complain. It’s my own fault coming to work after a skin-full of drink. I never normally do that. You’re a terrible influence,’ she laughed. ‘So did you do some thinking?’ she asked as they sat to eat.
‘I did, but I’m no clearer,’ he said. ‘I miss my mother. I know she’d have some simple solution to my worries. And how about you? I know you’ve been busy all day, but have you had any more thoughts on what you’ll do about the clinic?’
‘I’d love to be a mother,’ she said, only realising how much as she spoke the words. ‘More than I think I’ve allowed myself to believe. But I don’t know if I could bear to do it alone. When you said last night that your one wish would be to have a “proper” family, it resonated so strongly with me. When a couple have a baby, each of them is hoping they’ll make a good mother or father, right?’
‘Sure.’
‘But in this case, I’d be entering into the whole thing knowing this baby has a heartbreaking past before it’s even born. Is that fair?’
She didn’t even feel the tears coming on, but as soon as they started she couldn’t stop. He put his hand across the table and took hers. He looked at her with such tenderness, it made her sob even louder.
‘Why couldn’t I have met someone like you?’ she said.
There was a silence.
Róisín mentally kicked herself for her outburst. She took back her hand and wiped her eyes roughly. She took a deep breath to compose herself. ‘Thanks for letting me talk,’ she said.
‘Hey, I could say the same to you. I really appreciate your honesty.’
‘Let’s talk about you again,’ she said with a weak smile. ‘Do you know what you’re going to do about getting engaged?’
‘I think I do,’ he said. ‘I think the time is almost right. I know where my dad is coming from and I agree with him.’
‘Great,’ she said, sounding as upbeat as possible.
They hugged and Rob left. As she cleared away the plates and turned the lights off, Róisín was even more confused than ever.
In the car on the way to Liv’s house she started to cry again. Bashing the steering-wheel with the heel of her hand, she hated herself for sobbing yet again.
‘You bloody fool,’ she shouted at herself.
This time Róisín knew exactly why she was crying. She was falling in love with Rob. He was the sweetest and most easy to chat to man she’d ever met. And he was marrying another woman.
Chapter 31
It was six in the morning and Keeley was wide awake. Doug had just left with Jimmy. He’d come home last night looking as if he’d hit the Jackpot.
‘I have great news,’ he said. ‘Jimmy’s daughter, Tara, has invited us to her place in Spain. She’s going away for a couple of weeks and said she’d be happy for us to take her house.’
‘I see,’ she said, as anger bubbled through her. ‘And what about me? Or Liv? Or Róisín?’
‘Liv is on the mend,’ he said. ‘Róisín is wrapped up in Nourriture and you’re busy with the B&B. It makes sense and it’ll get me out of your hair.’
Keeley hadn’t the energy to argue and felt there was little or no point attempting to tell Doug that she felt tossed aside. So she’d waved him off, fuming on the inside. Not only had he left their wardrobe in a shambles from his high-speed packing, but he’d woken all the guests shouting and frolicking out the front this morning.
The only positive thing was that she was done and dusted with breakfasts nice and early. She decided she needed to do something for herself. So she drove to Ballyshore. She knocked on Claus’s door and was relieved to see he was there.
‘Doug has gone for two weeks. He and Jimmy are having a bromance and I’m not included. Fancy a coffee?’
‘Sure,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you come in and I’ll make us one? I never get to do that seeing as I don’t have visitors.’
She walked in, feeling as if she was playing hooky from life in general.
‘I’m sorry you are feeling so hurt,’ Claus said. ‘I’m sure Doug is a very nice man but if you don’t mind me saying, he’s a fool.’
She smiled. ‘Thanks and for the record, I agree. In fact, I think he’s worse than that. I think he’s a selfish idiot who doesn’t give a damn about me. He wasn’t this self-centred as a young man. Maybe he’s having some sort of a crisis.’
‘Who knows?’ Claus said. ‘But I think he should stop and see what he is doing, before it’s too late.’
‘How do you mean too late?’ Keeley asked.
‘Well, some other man might see what an incredible woman you are and steal you away from him. That way he can have all the time in the world with this Jimmy.’
‘I doubt that would ever happen!’ Keeley said with a chuckle. ‘For a start, I know all the eligible bachelors for a ten-mile radius and believe me, there’s a reason why they’re single! Secondly, I think I’m well past the point of attracting a new man. I wouldn’t have the inclination or the energy.’
‘What if you’ve already done that without even trying?’ Claus said. He looked at the floor. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve said too much …’
‘Claus?’ She looked over at him. ‘Are you saying …?’
‘Forget I said anything,’ he said, looking embarrassed. ‘I’m even more of a silly old fool than your husband. I am lonely without Heidi and you are the first woman I have found so attractive.’
‘You do? You find me attractive?’ she asked. Realising she was gaping like a goldfish, Keeley tried to act nonchalant.
‘I’m sure you are used to this so
rt of compliment,’ he continued. ‘You must have lots of men at your establishment over the years telling you that they would give anything to swap places with Doug?’
‘Eh, not really,’ Keeley said, not wanting to admit that Claus was the first.
He put a perfect cappuccino down in front of her. ‘Please, have your drink and we can pretend I didn’t say anything. I don’t want to scare you away. I would much rather we are friends that nothing at all. Don’t run away now that I have been so foolish.’
Claus sat opposite her and stared at the table. He didn’t touch his own cup of coffee and looked utterly tortured.
‘Hey,’ Keeley said with a sigh. ‘Thank you.’
‘Pardon?’
‘Thank you for making me feel alive again. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be desired. Even if it’s only with words. I was starting to believe that Doug’s lack of interest was my fault. As I told you, I’ll be sixty soon and I was dreading it.’
‘Why so?’
‘Well, sixty sounds ancient, doesn’t it? When I was younger, I thought sixty-year-olds were life’s leftovers!’
‘Not any longer,’ he said. ‘People live for many more years. Sixty is only a number, it’s not a bad one either. Especially if you are healthy …’
Keeley looked at Claus. He was incredibly polished and attractive with his immaculate hair, his impeccably pressed short-sleeved linen shirt and chino shorts. His skin had a lovely olive tone to it and although his eyes were surrounded by deep crevices, it added a distinguished element that no young man could boast. He was nothing like Doug to look at or speak to. She was ashamed to admit that she found him very appealing.
‘I’m feeling very emotional and hard done by, Claus. You’re very attractive and you’re being ever so nice to me. That’s a recipe for disaster.’
She pushed back her chair and walked toward the front door. Claus didn’t move.
‘Do you have to go, Keeley?’ he asked. ‘You and I could be so good together. I think you suspect it too. Why did you come to me today? When Doug left, you turned to me first. Why?’
‘I …’ She was at a loss. ‘I don’t know. I wanted to see you, that’s all. But I never meant us to be anything other than friends, Claus. I know Doug is being a fool right now, but we’ve been married for so long …’
‘I understand that,’ Claus said. ‘But sometimes, just because somebody is with you for years, it doesn’t mean they should always be there. Love can last a lifetime and sometimes it fades. People change. Situations change. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, you know?’
‘I don’t think I can take this on board right now, Claus. My daughters are both having troubles … It’s July, I’m in the middle of the busiest time of the year … I can’t add to my load …’
‘Will you come and visit again? Or could we share a walk again? Perhaps when you can feel less uncomfortable? I enjoy your company and as I said, I would like to have you in my life.’
‘I don’t know, Claus …’
He stood and walked over to her. She flinched.
‘I won’t hurt you,’ he said simply. ‘I would look after you and make you as happy as I could. You deserve to be cherished, Keeley. I often wonder how it is that incredible women like you are not made to feel more special.’
She looked at his face. He was so sincere. A massive part of her wanted to throw caution to the wind and tell him that she’d give it a go. Tell him that she’d leave the B&B and come and live with him. Imagine what it would be like having a man like Claus …
‘We could travel the world,’ he said, adding fuel to the embers in her mind. ‘We could see the sights and dine in sumptuous restaurants. I would never leave you alone and expect you to work and look after everything. If you would come away with me, Keeley, I know you wouldn’t regret it.’
She reached up and stroked his face. A tiny gasp escaped her lips as she turned and ran from the house.
Knowing she needed to gather her thoughts, she climbed into her car and drove home. The B&B was the same as it always had been. The washing she’d hung on the clothesline was flapping away as if waving her off.
A pair of Doug’s shoes lay forgotten and discarded in their bedroom. Where was he now? Was he even thinking of her or was he so convinced this time in his life was purely for himself that she didn’t figure whatsoever? Would she ever figure again? Should she cut her losses and go with Claus?
An image of her girls flashed through her mind. How on earth would she even begin to tell them that she was leaving their father and skipping off with her new boyfriend? She giggled uncontrollably as she savoured that word over in her head … boyfriend. Well, Claus was hardly a boy! It was wrong of her to even consider the offer. The phone rang, making her jump.
‘I’m phoning to make a booking,’ said the voice.
‘I’m terribly sorry,’ she said. ‘But I am winding down and closing shortly so I’m not in a position to help you. I can give you phone numbers of other accommodation close by though?’ She read out the numbers and hung up.
A tingly feeling washed over her. She realised it was excitement. Once the B&B was closed, she’d be faced with a very real conundrum. What would she do all day? Who would she do it with? She wasn’t interested in spending her final years mopping up and cooking for Doug and Jimmy. She was far too old to feel like a hanger-on or some sort of aging groupie with the two men. How wonderful would it be to walk onto a cruise ship on Claus’s arm? Or have him take her to dinner and pull out her chair while offering her a glass of wine? Was she losing her marbles?
Her ringtone sang out from her handbag, interrupting her thoughts.
‘Hello?’ she said.
‘Hi, love.’
‘Hi, Doug,’ she said guardedly. ‘How are things?’
‘Great. This place is just perfect. I think we should sell the house and buy something out here. There are loads of couples our age. The men all hang out and the women meet for coffee. You should see it, there’s a—’
Keeley hung up.
She knew Doug was probably staring at the phone thinking they’d been cut off. She smiled when he called back and let it go to voicemail. She couldn’t bear the thought of sitting on plastic seats at a café, gas-bagging with a load of other abandoned wives while Doug played with his friends in some backwater of Spain. Why would she want to do that when she could be travelling the world in style?
She walked to the bedroom and pulled a suitcase from the top of the wardrobe and began to pack. Her clothes weren’t exactly glamorous, she thought as doubt washed over her. Then she thought back to the dinner she and Claus had shared at the castle. She’d worn her ten-year-old linen trouser suit and he’d called her elegant.
Feeling a spurt of determination, she continued folding clothes and putting them into the case. But then she was hit by a flood of guilt so bad, it winded her. What would happen to the girls if she left? Liv was all over the place right now. Róisín was worried sick about her business and needed her support. Zipping the case shut, she shoved it under the bed and sat down. Was this really what she wanted?
A tiny voice in the back of her mind told her it actually was … For the first time in years, Keeley was putting herself first.
Chapter 32
Nell knew she was pushing Mouse, but she felt it was for her own good.
‘I’m wrecked. I don’t want to do any more reading tonight.’ She’d just returned from her shift at the pub and they were going through the words on the menu.
‘I know what all the food looks like when I take the orders. I’m good at learning things off, so it’s fine,’ she argued.
‘But you’re going to get caught out,’ Nell said. ‘If you can’t remember or if it’s really busy and you have to write lots of order tickets, you’re doomed.’
‘I can write most of the stuff now and the chef hasn’t even noticed.’
‘Great, let’s keep it that way. If you can stay in that job for a while, it will stand to you. You can bui
ld up your experience and who knows where you’ll end up!’
They were also planning another new venture.
‘I’ve filled out this form too,’ Nell said waving it in front of Mouse. ‘You need to add in your proper name and sign it.’
Mouse took it and physically shuddered.
‘Whatever about writing words like soup and fish, I can’t do this ever.’
‘There’s no such word as can’t. I’ve told you. Besides, you’re brilliant at learning stuff off, you just said so yourself. So the study part will be easy as pie.’ Nell was going to teach Mouse how to drive. The test required her to be able to write some answers along with a practical driving test.
‘Will you help me read the book so I can learn it all?’
‘Of course I will,’ Nell agreed. Mouse filled in the remainder of the form and sighed deeply.
‘Hey,’ Nell said. ‘I know this is all really difficult. I get that. But you’ll thank me once you’re an independent woman who can drive and hold down a good job.’
Mouse’s eyes lit up. ‘Do you really think I could get to that point?’
‘There’s no reason why you can’t,’ Nell said. ‘So move. We’re going to have a go in the car.’
‘What if I drive us both into the sea?’
‘Then we’ll drown and none of it will matter any longer.’
‘Fair enough,’ Mouse said with a shrug.
Nell sat in the passenger seat and instructed Mouse as clearly as she could. She named all the pedals and explained about acceleration and stopping. She pointed out the pattern on the gear-stick.
‘So it’s like a little map that tells me where the different positions are?’ Mouse said. ‘That’s a deadly idea. Very clear, even for a thick person like me.’
Nell scowled. ‘You’re not thick, Mouse. You never got shown before. That’s a different thing. If you’d been having lessons for twenty years and you still couldn’t turn on the car, then I’d worry about your level of intelligence.’
Nell was pleasantly surprised by how calm she felt. Mouse was very quick on the up-take. So much so, Nell was suspicious.
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