Love Letters

by Michelle Leyland

  She wished she could feel him gently stroking her hair or the way he held her in his arms and made her feel safe. She longed to kiss him or be able to talk with him for hours like they used to. She sobbed into her pillow missing him terribly.

  Chapter 16

  Rosanna tiredly woke up after three hours of sleep and braced herself to go down for breakfast with her family. She still had no appetite and thoughts of the wedding turned her stomach, but she wouldn’t dare go against her father’s order.

  “Good morning, your Highness,” Leonardo bowed to her as she opened the door and came out.

  “Good morning, Leonardo,” she felt wide awake as she remembered the letter and excitedly whispered to him. “Have you delivered it?”

  He nodded in answer and she smiled feeling happy.

  “We should talk in private,” he told her quietly.

  They went down the stairway on their way to the dining room, but instead took a detour to the music room and hoped no one would notice. Even when they were inside the room they kept their voices low just to be safe.

  “Nicholas says he is fine,” Leonardo informed her, “but he misses you and sends his love.”

  She felt tears well up in her eyes, “Thank you for giving him my letter. I hope you will not get into trouble for it.”

  “The knight guarding the dungeons does not suspect anything. He believes I went to tell him off for pursuing you,” Leonardo told her and returned the letter. “I think we should burn it so there is no evidence.”

  She felt sad and wished that Nicholas could have kept it, but she knew it was for the best to destroy it and nodded in agreement. He lit the fireplace for her and she reluctantly threw it into the flames and watched the paper turn black and burn to dust.

  They made their way to the dining room and her father looked relieved when she took her usual seat. He didn’t say anything about it other than to greet her good morning.

  She tried to nibble on some fruit as she listened to her father and brother talking and hoped they wouldn’t notice that she was struggling to eat.

  “Have you decided on the sentence for Nicholas?” her brother asked him.

  She felt sick with anxiety and gave up on eating altogether.

  “I will be summoning him to the courtroom this morning,” her father answered.

  She hated the thought of Nicholas being sentenced and hoped that her father wouldn’t be too hard on him. She hoped he would be less harsh now that she had agreed to go through with the wedding like they wanted.

  “Will I be allowed to attend?” she asked meekly.

  She usually sat beside her father in the courtroom when a prisoner was condemned. She didn’t exactly want to watch Nicholas be sentenced but it would be her last chance to see him and she couldn’t give up that opportunity.

  “You can be present if you behave correctly,” he replied. “I will not tolerate any outbursts during his trial.”

  “Yes, father,” she agreed.

  She felt anxious all morning until the time for the trial arrived. Leonardo escorted her to the courtroom and she sat in her usual place on the throne to the right of her father. The villagers had not been invited to sit in the pews and witness the trial, since this was a private matter rather than a public hearing, but most of the knights were present.

  She stared as the doors opened and Nicholas was escorted in by two knights. Her heart filled with love at finally being able to see him again. Yet, she felt stung with guilt and sympathy, knowing he must have had an awful experience in the dungeons and would now be punished because of her.

  The knights made him kneel before the throne and Nicholas could see that the king already looked stern and disapproving. Jonathon was sat at the left of him with a look of disgust towards Nicholas. He didn’t really care what either of them thought of him, he only wanted to see Rosanna.

  Their gaze met and he smiled as he looked up at her, thinking how beautiful she was. Her eyes watered and she wished she could rush over and throw her arms around him. She longed to tell him that she loved him and how much she was missing him, but she couldn’t. If she caused another scene then Leonardo would have to remove her from the courtroom, so she retained herself.

  She wished Isabelle had been allowed to attend and would have felt comforted having her best friend there. She felt thankful that at least Leonardo was stood nearby which gave her some reassurance.

  Nicholas had to reluctantly take his eyes off her as the king finally spoke.

  “Nicholas Turner, you have been summoned here to receive my verdict and to be sentenced for your actions,” he announced loudly. “You are hereby banished from this kingdom. If you return it will be on penalty of death.”

  Nicholas looked shocked although he had expected this could happen. Rosanna gasped and felt upset to hear his punishment. Her eyes watered but she had to try her best not to cry in public. She swallowed and knew she had to be brave and stay composed until later.

  “You must leave immediately,” he ordered. “The knights will escort you to the border.”

  Nicholas was pulled back up to his feet and forced out of the courtroom. She watched him leave feeling dejected. Her heart ached at not being able to say goodbye to him properly. She felt hopeless and wanted to jump out of her seat and beg her father not to give him any sentence. However, she knew his decision was final and arguing would only get her into trouble.

  Nicholas felt just as heartbroken and miserable as he was escorted out. The knights allowed him to collect his horse from the stables, and Jackson followed beside him obediently as he held the reins and walked forward. He couldn’t think straight and only felt the pain in his heart longing to be with Rosanna.

  Bernadette was shocked to see him being led passed her cottage as she looked through the window. She knew he must be in trouble to have knights with him and rushed outside looking concerned.

  “Nicholas, what has happened?” she called and eyed the knights anxiously.

  “I have to return home, I am no longer welcome here,” he answered.

  “I am sure we can sort out whatever trouble you are in.”

  “There is nothing either of us can do…” he replied sadly. He wanted to explain but the knights were getting impatient and ordered him to keep moving.

  “Talk with Rosanna,” he told her quickly and continued walking.

  Bernadette was determined to find out what was going on and went straight to the castle with Gretel to visit Rosanna. However, the knights guarding the entrance refused to let them enter and Gretel was upset as they were turned away.

  “Why will they not let us see her?” Gretel asked near tears.

  “I do not know, darling,” answered Bernadette. “Maybe Rosanna is busy.”

  “She has not come to see us all week and I miss her,” Gretel started crying.

  Bernadette hugged her, “we will see her soon, do not worry.”

  They waited outside the castle for a while, hoping to see Leonardo so they could ask him about it. They didn’t spot him on patrol with any of the knights and were about to give up when they saw Isabelle on her way to the village. Bernadette sighed with relief, feeling glad that they had found someone to tell them what was happening.

  They went over to greet her then asked why Rosanna was not allowed to see any guests and why Nicholas had been arrested.

  “Rosanna told her father that she would not marry Prince Ethan and wanted to be with Nicholas instead,” Isabelle explained quietly. “The king obviously did not approve and threw Nicholas in the dungeons for a few days. They had a trial this morning and he is now banished.”

  “That is awful,” Bernadette replied sympathetically. “I feel very sorry for them both. I know how much they cared for each other so this must be devastating for them.”

  Isabelle nodded in agreement, “I am concerned for Rosanna, she has been very depressed since he was arrested. She is not allowed to have visitors or leave the castle. I am not sure how long the punishment will last.”


  “It is not fair!” Gretel protested sadly.

  “Her father is just upset with her at the moment, but I promise she will visit us when she can,” Bernadette explained to her gently.

  “Will you tell Rosanna that we are thinking of her,” Bernadette said to Isabelle.

  “I will,” she promised.

  Chapter 17

  Nicholas felt saddened to return to his cottage, even though it was a relief not to be locked up in the dungeons anymore. He was determined to speak to Rosanna again but he didn’t know how he could now that he was banished. He needed to reply to her letter but knew that her family would probably destroy his message before it got to her.

  He felt hopeless until he remembered seeing Bernadette before he left and had an idea. If he couldn’t write directly to Rosanna, he could write to her friend and hope that she could pass the letter to her in secret. He spent some time writing it, then printed out Bernadette’s full name on the envelope and paid for a messenger to deliver it to her.

  The next day, Bernadette received the letter and felt curious to know who was writing to her as she opened it. She felt pleased when she read that it was from Nicholas and that he was sending a letter to Rosanna.

  She had to wait until Isabelle came into the village and asked her to pass it on to Rosanna. Isabelle was happy to receive it and excitedly went to Rosanna’s bedchamber as soon as she returned to the castle. Rosanna looked very upset as usual, but Isabelle smiled knowing that this would soon cheer her up.

  “I have something for you,” Isabelle announced, holding out the letter to her.

  Rosanna wondered what it was and took the letter out of the opened envelope. Her heart leapt with joy as she noticed Nicholas’ signature at the bottom.

  “Nicholas has written back to me!” she exclaimed, feeling so ecstatic that tears welled up in her eyes.

  “He sent it to Bernadette so she could give it to you,” Isabelle explained. “He must have known not to send it to the castle.”

  Rosanna began to read the letter excitedly. She felt a little nervous too wondering how Nicholas felt about everything she had told him in her letter. Her eyes filled with tears and she quickly wiped them away, since crying only made the words become bleary and hard to read. She breathed slowly determined not to cry as she continued reading.

  Dear Rosanna

  I am sorry I could not write back to you, but now that I am free I can finally reply to your letter. I have been missing you so much and I spend every second of the day thinking of you. I am heartbroken too that we will never see each other again.

  While I was in the dungeons nothing could dampen my mood because I had your love and our memories together. I will always love you and would do anything to see you again. I have also been looking at the stars at night and thinking of you.

  I wish I could hold you in my arms again and see you for one last day. I will always treasure our memories together and I feel incredibly lucky that I have been able to spend time with you. I wish I could be there to comfort you whenever you are upset.

  I understand why you have agreed to the marriage and I could not bear if you were punished for refusing to go through with it. At least I know that you are being forced into it and not because you have changed your mind about us.

  Please remember that none of what has happened is your fault, I do not want you to blame yourself. I chose to stand by you and I will take the consequences, although loving you has always been worth it. I wish I could have married you and I am devastated that you will never become my wife. If only things had been different.

  I had a chance to be set free before my trial but I turned it down. Your brother tried to offer money if I agreed to leave and never see you again. I know you may have wanted me to take it and be set free earlier, but I could never agree to that. I would have rather been there and forced not to see you than knowing I was purposely avoiding you.

  My heart will always belong to you and no one could ever replace you. I know that you are the only person I am meant to be with, even though we cannot see each other.

  I wish I could be there for you and I hope the love I send will help you feel a little better. I know this marriage will be hard for you but please stay strong for me.

  With all my love,

  Nicholas

  Rosanna was in floods of tears once she finished reading it and held the letter close to her chest. She felt touched receiving a letter from him but she couldn’t help feeling heartbroken.

  She was annoyed with her brother and couldn’t believe he had tried to bribe Nicholas. It hurt that her family were so determined to separate them and now her father had sent him away.

  She sadly thought that maybe his life would have been easier if they had never met, but she would never regret meeting him. It would have been very disappointing to be in an unhappy marriage without experiencing love first. Even after all the heartbreak and misery she knew that it was worth it to have those memories with him. She would always feel grateful that something as wonderful as their romance had happened.

  Isabelle sat on the bed next to Rosanna and comforted her while she finished crying.

  “I must write back to him,” she said determinedly and wiped away tears. “Would you ask for it to be delivered?”

  “Of course,” Isabelle agreed.

  She went over to her vanity table and began writing a reply.

  Dear Nicholas,

  Thank you for understanding, it means a lot to me. I am upset that my father banished you, but I am pleased that you are now free again.

  Although it hurts to write this, I hope that one day you will meet someone to spend your life with. I want you to be happy and you deserve it.

  I really wish you could be here too. I feel so weak without you and want more than anything to be in your arms. I always felt so safe being close to you.

  Thank you for your letter; it has helped make me feel a little happier. Knowing that I have a way of contacting you is the only thing that helps me get through this ordeal. I will try my best to stay strong for you even though it is very difficult.

  Please write to me again even if we can only remain friends from now on.

  With all my love,

  Rosanna

  She neatly copied the address, which Nicholas had written on the top corner of his letter, onto an envelope. She gave the letter to Isabelle and felt excited at the thought of Nicholas receiving it tomorrow.

  Yet, her excitement soon fizzled out as she thought about the oncoming wedding. She was feeling more anxious about it now that the date was drawing closer, and she couldn’t sleep that night as she worried how terrible her future would be.

  In the morning, Rosanna decided to speak with her father over breakfast. She didn’t exactly want to talk about the wedding, but it was the only way she could get answers to her questions. It made her feel nervous not knowing exactly what she was getting into.

  “Father, what happens after the wedding?” she asked. “Will I live with Prince Ethan in his kingdom?”

  She dreaded the thought of it and felt sick thinking of having to share a bedchamber with him.

  “Yes and in time you will both rule together as king and queen,” he replied.

  She felt troubled by the answer and realised that her situation was worse than she had originally thought.

  “But I do not want to leave home and move far away,” she replied, feeling upset.

  “That is how royal partnerships are done,” he explained patiently. “The bride always goes to live with her husband.”

  She felt devastated at the thought of leaving her friends and family. She would never see Bernadette and Gretel again, or anyone else from the village if she didn’t live here anymore.

  “Will my maid and personal guard be coming with me?” she asked, hoping she could at least have Leonardo and Isabelle there as her friends.

  He laughed as if she had asked something ridiculous, “They have their own maids and knights there. You will n
ot be required to take your own.”

  She felt dismayed and hated the thought of not having her close friends to confide in. Isabelle had been her best friend for years and she did not know how to cope without her. She didn’t want to be without Leonardo either. The knights may be capable enough to protect her just as well as he did, but they could never replace her friend.

  “If I live so far away then I will not be able to see you and Jonathon anymore,” she told her father sadly, hoping that he could at least understand this concern.

  “You are allowed to see your family,” he reassured her. “Your brother and I will visit you occasionally.”

  She wondered what it would be like once she had to be booked into her father’s busy schedule for a visit. She was sure she would only manage to see him a couple of times a year.

  “As much as I will miss you, we have to accept that you are grown up now. You are meant to marry and live on your own.”

  She felt foolish for hoping that she wouldn’t have to move away and now felt even more depressed about her future. Her issues of being separated from Nicholas and forced into marriage were hard enough; but now she had to deal with losing her home, family and friends too.

  She had to excuse herself and went to cry in the privacy of her bedchamber, beginning to hate her life even more. Isabelle tried her best to comfort her, but even she was upset and didn’t want to lose her best friend.

  “I will be so miserable in my new life,” Rosanna said tearfully. “I will be in an unhappy marriage with someone I do not love, and I will be far away from all my friends and family.”

  “You will be fine,” Isabelle tried to reassure her. “I know I will miss you terribly, but I am sure you will make new friends there.” She felt sad and jealous at the thought of being replaced but tried to remain positive for Rosanna.