#1 Muse

by T Gephart

  “I love you too. But please don’t say anything to Nick until we know for sure.”

  Who knew how long it would take before I got some answers, but I couldn’t confront him until I knew where I stood. After all, if he was manipulating me, I didn’t want to give him the opportunity to figure a way out.

  “I’ll let you take the lead.” He gave me a warm smile. “I’ll see you when I get back.”

  Luke left without the lunch that I’d promised while I sat in my room wondering if my world was falling apart. Other than knowing that Audrey Rydell was considering my story, I literally knew nothing else. And I hated not knowing.

  Putting on my big girl pants I picked up my phone and dialed Jeremy’s number. My hand shook and my pulse raced, the seconds it took before someone answered feeling like an eternity.

  “Levin Murphy, this is Jessica.”

  Damn it.

  In my effort to extract the truth, I’d completely forgotten that Jeremy’s personal assistant was also Dave Larsson’s girlfriend.

  Great.

  “Hey, it’s Claire Becker. I was hoping to talk with Jeremy.”

  “Oh, hey Claire, how are you?” Jessica responded, sounding warm and professional like she always did.

  “Doing great,” I lied. “How are you?” I figured I needed to at least pretend I was polite even though the last thing I wanted was to make small talk.

  “Good to hear, I’m good too, thanks for asking. Jeremy is with a client right now, is there something I can help you with?”

  Yeah, sure, can you tell me if your boss is trying to cut me out of my own story and my boyfriend is an accomplice? Thanks, that would be great.

  “I’d actually prefer to speak to Jeremy if that’s okay.”

  I hated that I was asking permission, that I didn’t demand she put him on the phone right now and tell me straight out what was happening. But I couldn’t rush it, especially when all I had at the moment was hearsay. Sure, my source was reliable—Luke had never given me misinformation before—but it wasn’t like I could admit my best friend and roommate had beguiled Audrey into talking.

  There was a pause, and I was almost positive she was going to tell me that Jeremy had a full schedule and would call me back later when he had time. That was industry speak for fuck off and I’d heard it more times than I would have liked.

  “He has an opening at four-thirty, do you want to come in?”

  What?

  I didn’t know if she was throwing me a bone or it had been divine intervention. Either way I was taking it before she had a chance to change her mind.

  “Yes, that would be great. Thank you.”

  “No problem, Claire. We’ll see you then.”

  The call ended with no clue as to whether Jessica was an ally or enemy, but the opportunity wasn’t something I was going to squander.

  “Hey is everything okay?” Scully poked her head in my doorway. “We saw Luke leave and when you didn’t come back, I was wondering where you went.”

  “Yeah, I had needed to make a call, nothing important.”

  I hated lying to her, but if I told her the truth, the minute Nick walked in the door—guilty or not—she’d have him up against the wall threatening him with the baseball bat we kept in the closet.

  “Well, okay.” She didn’t seem convinced but didn’t press. “We’re going to put Sebastian down for a nap and binge watch your boyfriend on cable. I think it’s important your mom appreciates how fine a man he is.” She smirked, bringing her hand up to her mouth in mock surprise. “Oh, is it weird if we objectify him while you’re in the room?”

  I laughed even though I didn’t feel it. Not because I cared that she and mom were going to see Nick’s naked butt on television, even though it might be slightly awkward. But because I had so much else going on in my mind.

  “Would you guys mind if I went out for a while?”

  “You’re seeing him in a few hours, Claire.” She laughed. “But fine, if you want to go have sexy time with your boyfriend, I’m not going to stop you.”

  Ha! If only.

  “Thanks Scully, you’re the best.” I got to my feet and pulled her into a hug.

  I purposely didn’t correct her, knowing it was easier for her to think I was with Nick.

  “Yeah, yeah. I know, I’m awesome.” She rolled her eyes, moving back to the doorway. “Just make sure the two of you are back in time for dinner. Luke is cooking so you know it’s going to be good.”

  “I promise I’ll be back.” I crossed my heart even though sitting through dinner was the last thing I wanted to do.

  Scully tossed a “have fun” and a smile over her shoulder and left. Meanwhile I had a few hours to fill, hoping in that time my mind wasn’t overrun with every worst-case scenario.

  I picked up my phone and scrolled down my contacts until I got to Tyler. He’d been amazing when we went through my contract with Jeremy, and from everything I’d heard, he was a damn good lawyer. Plus, he was a good friend to Luke, which meant he was someone I could trust.

  “Tyler Woods.” He answered his cell immediately.

  I took a breath, steading myself. “Hey Tyler, it’s Claire Becker. Have you got a minute?”

  “Claire.” There was a smile in his voice. “Good to hear from you. You’re in luck, I’m in between meetings.”

  I walked over to my closet and pulled out a skirt and jacket. “Thanks, I wanted to ask some advice.”

  “Give me a second.” There was a pause and then the sound of a door closing. “Okay, tell me what we’re looking at.”

  A slow breath eased past my lips.

  If something was too good to be true, it usually was.

  TALKING TO TYLER PUT A lot of things in perspective. Jeremy could pitch my story to whomever he wanted. He could wheel and deal and make all kinds of promises, but until I signed the final contract, releasing my rights as the author, he didn’t have shit.

  Granted, that also meant that I didn’t have shit—the chances of someone else picking it up and pitching it again not great—but I wasn’t as powerless as I’d felt. Which was why I’d put on my nicest skirt and jacket, a killer pair of black heels and held my head up high when I’d walked into Jeremy’s office.

  Jeremy leaned back in his seat, his hands tented in front of him. “Claire, what a nice surprise.”

  Is it, asshole? I was tempted to ask but managed to bite my tongue and smile.

  “I wanted to check on the status of my story, see if you had any bites?” I eased in, giving him a chance to tell his version of events.

  “A couple.” He nodded, giving nothing away. “But these things take time and it could be months before anything is settled and a deal is made.”

  I tipped my head to the side wondering if he was generally prickly or if it was just for new clients he hadn’t made money off yet. “Funny, word on the street is that it was given to Audrey Rydell for consideration. Sounds like some kind of deal has already happened.”

  Honestly, it was hard to remain calm. I even tried all that breathe-in-breathe-out bullshit Pru had taught us from the ill-fated baby class in an attempt to not grab him by his expensive business shirt and demand answers.

  “Where did you hear that?” he asked cautiously, his smile not faltering.

  Not a denial, which meant I wasn’t wrong. “Oh, I have my sources. When were you going to tell me?”

  I was calling his bluff, hoping that if he thought I already knew that he would fess up. It was a calculated risk but one I felt confident making. It was either that or I leapt over his desk like I had wanted to when I’d walked in.

  “Okay.” He shook his head. “Nothing is set in stone, but one of the premium cable channels wants it. We have a handshake deal, but it hinges on Audrey coming onto the project. And of course, Nick will be the lead.”

  I felt the air rush out of my lungs, hearing it confirmed so much worse than I thought. “But it’s my story, shouldn’t I be the one to write the screenplay? We discussed th
is, I told you it had to be me.”

  It was difficult not to sound like a child throwing a tantrum but I didn’t understand. I was a screenwriter; I was more than capable of turning a good story—mine—into a workable script.

  “Claire, as I said when I read it, I liked it. It’s funny, good story—all that other stuff I mentioned—but no one knows you. And I never promised anything.” He leaned forward in his desk to illustrate the point.

  I tried to remember the conversation, thinking back to what his words had been.

  He’d never agreed.

  He’d never said that it would be me.

  Even when I told him point blank that I wanted it to be me, he’d never said that it would be.

  And when I signed the contract for representation, it was just that—representation. There wasn’t a clause to spell it out, and I had mistakenly believed that it would have been taken care of if or when we sold it.

  I’d fallen for the oldest trick in the book.

  “Your resume isn’t one I can pitch to a network or a producer. They like the story, but they need someone with a proven track record before they pony up the cash. It’s not personal, just the way it works.”

  It was hard not to take it personal when it was the person—me—they didn’t want. Thanks for the great idea, we’ll take it from here. It felt like a giant fuck you.

  “But if you gave me a chance to write it and present them with it, they will see I have the talent to do it. I may not have Audrey’s resume, but I am a damn good writer.”

  It wasn’t about ego. Okay, so it wasn’t just about ego. I knew that I had the talent and most of all the determination to make it shine. The screenplay I’d recently finished was by far my strongest work yet. I had learned so much in the past weeks, not only about myself but about the craft, courtesy of the script reading from Marconi.

  Jeremy shook his head, my impassioned plea falling on deaf ears. “And in time, you’ll get your seat at the table. But right now, I’m offering you a foot in the door. Your name will be on the backend credits, and you get to see your concept make it onto the screen. You know how many screenwriters out there would kill for that?”

  “What about creative input? Do I get a say, get to collaborate at least?” I offered, hoping there was some way I could still be a part of my own project.

  “Sorry Claire, Audrey is the debutante. The studio wants to use this as a chance to show everyone else what they’ve missed out on. She’s the only one who will be working on it.”

  Funny, he didn’t sound sorry at all.

  “So that’s it, I’m supposed to hand it over and sit down and be grateful?”

  Do not cry.

  Do not yell.

  It was a mantra, going on in my head in a loop, as I sat there wanting to cry and yell.

  “Yes, and count the money you made by selling it.”

  Money, it always came back to money. I felt like I’d been kicked in the gut and asked to be grateful, and I couldn’t have been more hurt.

  I swallowed, knowing that my beat down wasn’t even close to being over. “What about Nick?”

  “What about him?” Jeremy’s eyebrow rose, waiting for me to continue.

  The control I had on my emotions frayed as I demanded. “Come on Jeremy, you’re not a lawyer or a priest. Has he agreed to play the lead?”

  “Well look at that, didn’t think he had it in him to keep his mouth shut but he surprised me.” The bastard actually had the nerve to smile. “Yes, he has agreed. Not only does Audrey get her day in the sun, but your boyfriend gets to carry a series on his own name. Being part of an ensemble is good for him, but if he wants the big dollars he needs to step out without a security blanket.”

  He knew.

  The whole time I had tried to convince myself that it had been all Jeremy’s doing, but it wasn’t. How long had he kept it a secret, how many times had he seen me, slept with me and not said a word? Everything I thought I knew about him was wrong.

  My mouth opened and then closed, not able to find any words I wanted to say. There was nothing left to say.

  “Look, for the record, this was not how I wanted to tell you. I wanted to be sure there was a deal and then present you with it. But it is what it is.”

  To his credit, he’d stopped looking smug. Not sure if he found some humanity or he just thought if he tried to be more sympathetic I would leave without making a scene.

  “What if I don’t sign?”

  “Then the deal is dead.”

  “Will you try and get me something else?”

  He shook his head. “Claire, I’m not trying to be an asshole here, but I’m your agent, not your life coach. I have gotten you the best possible outcome. Your words turned into a series. Now it might not be exactly how you saw it in your head, but that’s life. And ultimately it is your choice. You say no, it’s no. But I can’t promise that it won’t be the same exact outcome every single time.”

  “What you’re saying is that no one will buy anything of mine until they know my name. But how can anyone know my name if I don’t get a chance?”

  “Easy, the same way everyone else did. Eat humble pie and wait your turn. It will come around, and it sucks, but it’s the only way. There are no overnight success stories in this town, Claire, only a bunch of people who have been working their asses off until they finally got noticed.”

  It was a bitter pill to swallow, made even harder because he wasn’t being an out and out prick. Don’t get me wrong; I wanted to hate him. Pissed off that he had cut me out of something I had created and was giving it to someone else. And I didn’t have it in me to be grateful. But I knew it wasn’t entirely his fault.

  “Well, thanks for your time.” I stood up, feeling numb, like I was part of some weird dream.

  He stood too, watching me as I walked to the door. “So will you sign the deal?”

  “Send me the contract.” I kept my eyes forward, hesitating at the door and took a breath. And without looking back, I walked out.

  I should have gone home, but I didn’t, too consumed by emotions that instead I got in my car and drove. I didn’t even know where I was heading, figuring it was easier to be alone than pretend that everything was okay. Oh, and I still had to sit through dinner with Nick, because that was what I wanted to do.

  My phone had been shut off since before I’d gone into my meeting with Jeremy and I hadn’t bothered to turn it back on. So when I eventually walked through my front door an hour later than our dinner was supposed to start, it wasn’t pretty.

  “Jesus Christ.” Luke had his phone at his ear and a worried look on his face. “I’ve called everyone I can think of, no one has heard or seen you for hours.”

  “I’m fine, I just needed to drive.” I didn’t bother to explain, walking past him and into the living room.

  Scully immediately grabbed me, balancing Sebastian in her arms as she hugged me tight. “You had us worried sick, thank God you’re okay.”

  My mom also hugged me, her face full of concern. “Is everything all right, baby?”

  Unable to answer, I nodded, even though everything was far from all right.

  And there he was, the liar himself. “Claire, where have you been?”

  “Sorry, I missed the memo where I had to check in with you,” I bit back, anger and hurt taking turns as to which emotion I felt the most.

  Luke cleared his throat. “Ladies, why don’t we give her a minute.” He tipped his head to Scully and my mom who were obviously confused.

  How could they know? I was positive Nick didn’t walk in, meet my mother for the first time and announce, “Hi, I’m your daughter’s boyfriend. I’m also an opportunist and have a problem with honesty. But I’ve told her I love her and I’m great in bed, so that should make up for it.” Probably too much of a mouthful, especially with all those lies taking up so much space.

  “Sure, we’ll be in . . .” My mom searched for something to say.

  “My room,” Scully finished. “Seb
probably needs a change anyway.”

  They both walked down the hall to Scully’s room and closed the door, leaving me, Nick and Luke.

  “You want me to stay?” Luke glanced at me before looking at Nick.

  I shook my head, “No, I’m fine,” even though I wasn’t.

  He eyed Nick hard as he walked away. “I won’t be far.”

  The air around us crackled as our eyes connected, Nick proving he wasn’t an idiot by not moving any closer. “Jeremy called me.”

  “Really, you guys have a nice chat?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm. Wouldn’t want anyone to think I was taking it personally.

  “Claire—”

  “How could you?” I didn’t want to give him a chance to give me excuses. “You knew, you knew that he was going to give it to Audrey. Was that always the plan? When I went in there for my meeting with him and he told me how much he loved it? Was it just so you could steal my story, give it to someone else to write and then get your solo shot?”

  No matter how many times I thought it, hearing it out loud was exponentially worse. It made me feel like a loser and a fool, which I probably was for believing my life could turn on a dime and I could have everything I’d ever dreamt of.

  His muscles were tightly coiled, his hands, fists at his sides. “It wasn’t the plan, at least it wasn’t my plan. I brought Jeremy your story because I thought it was awesome. And yes, I thought it was a perfect opportunity for me to lead, but I wanted you to write the screenplay.”

  “Do you want me to thank you? Bow down at your feet because you thought I had talent? You should have told me, the minute you knew that I was being cut out of my own story, you should have told me.”

  Out of everything, that was what hurt the most. Sure, I was embarrassed and feeling sorry for myself—no one liked to be rejected. But I would have survived, I had survived, and maybe I would have even agreed with them. Okay, that was probably a lie, I would never agree someone else could have written my screenplay better than I could have, but I would have been reasonable.

  “I couldn’t tell you, Claire.” He took a step toward me and I raised my hands to stop. “I signed an NDA. If I did say something and the network found out, it would have been my ass. Not to mention the deal would have been dead in the water. Besides, as far as I know there is no contract yet.”