Large and in Charge

by La Jill Hunt

  “Well, since you’re home, why don’t you show your appreciation by letting me take you to dinner?” He grabbed her hand.

  “Aw, I would, but I’m meeting Devyn for Taco Tuesdays,” she replied. “I gotta get inside, shower, and change so that I won’t be late.”

  “You look fine to me. Why you gotta change?” Sully asked, looking her up and down.

  “Because as comfortable as this blouse and these slacks are, I need to put on something a little less boardroom and a lot more booyah,” she laughed.

  “I don’t know what that means, but whatever. You and Devyn have fun. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Sully gave her a look of disappointment.

  “Don’t be like that. It’s just tacos. We won’t be out long. I’ll call you when I get home. I promise.” Asha put her arms around his neck. Because she wore flats, they were about the same height and stood eye to eye. She wanted him to see that he had nothing to worry about. He wasn’t a jealous guy, but he seemed a bit bothered whenever she hung out with Devyn.

  Sully nodded. “All right, just be careful. I’ll try to wait up for your call.”

  “Good.” She gave him a reassuring kiss.

  Chapter 3

  Devyn

  Pablo’s Mexican Bistro was packed. Since a gentle breeze was blowing and a decent amount of sunlight was still out, Devyn and Asha had opted to sit out on the restaurant’s patio and feast on tacos, tortilla chips with white sauce and salsa, and a round of half-off happy-hour double-shot margaritas. The last thing Devyn needed was the enormous amount of calories she was consuming. Not only was she starving, but she also definitely needed a drink, in addition to a face-to-face girl chat.

  “I’m telling you, he’s into you,” Asha said.

  “He’s not into me. First of all, he has a girl. Second, he keeps trying to hook me up with one of his boys. If he wanted me, he wouldn’t be tryin’a do all that,” Devyn said.

  “It’s a front. He’s just saying that. He’s not trying to hook you up for real. But then again, he might be. What does his friend look like?” Asha asked.

  “Hell, I don’t know. I ain’t even ask. It doesn’t matter because I ain’t interested.”

  “In the friend or Jeff?” Asha raised an eyebrow.

  Devyn reached across the table and took her glass. “Gimme this.”

  “What are you doing?” Asha gasped.

  “Clearly, you’re drunk,” Devyn laughed.

  Asha snatched her glass back and finished the last of her drink. “Now, you know I’m not drunk. I’ve only had one drink.”

  “I’m honestly surprised you even had that one. Hell, I’m surprised you even wanted to hang out tonight. You know how the deacon doesn’t like for you to hang out with me,” Devyn said, referring to Asha’s boyfriend, Sully. Since they’d become a little more serious, Asha had become less and less available to hang out. Devyn knew it was because he didn’t really care for her. “He must not know you’re out. You’re dressed cute too. And curled your hair?”

  “You’re trying to be funny.” Asha gave her a snarky look.

  “I’m not. I’m just saying that you’re looking cute,” Devyn commented. In addition to being surprised by Asha’s suggestion earlier that they indulge in Taco Tuesday, she was equally shocked to see her best friend dressed in jeans and a cute top. Asha always dressed as if she were about to go into a corporate meeting: business suits, blazers, slacks, and heels. She also kept her shoulder-length locs pulled back. Tonight, they were hanging freely, framing her gorgeous face.

  “You know Sully doesn’t have a problem with you. And I figured you needed a night out after the day you had. You’ve been quite grumpy these days,” Asha said, tucking a loc behind her ear.

  “Grumpy? What the hell? Am I one of the Seven Dwarfs?” Devyn frowned.

  “Maybe that was the wrong word. But I didn’t want to use the word ‘bitchy.’”

  “Wow, I think I like grumpy better.” Devyn’s eyes became small as she looked across the table.

  “Dev, you’re my best friend. I know you better than anyone else on this earth.” Asha picked up a chip and dipped it into the white sauce.

  “Oh God, here we go . . .” Devyn groaned.

  “The reason why you’re in such a mood these days . . .” Asha continued.

  “Please don’t say it.” Devyn pleaded.

  “Is because you need some dick,” Asha stated.

  “I knew it.” Devyn shook her head.

  “It’s been almost two years since your back has been blown out properly, Dev. That’s a long time. And I know you’ve been through a lot. But you need—”

  “What I need is another drink. And I’m gonna go get one.” Devyn stood up, smoothing the front of her floral jumpsuit. She planned only to have one drink, but Asha was on one, and it was going to take more alcohol than usual to get through the evening.

  “Señora, did you need something?” Miguel, their server, rushed over and asked.

  “I was just gonna go get another drink from the bar,” Devyn told him.

  “Sí, I’ll get it for you. It’s no problem.” Miguel nodded, then turned to Asha, “Another for you as well?”

  Asha shook her head, “Oh no, I’m fine.”

  Devyn teased. “She’s a lightweight.”

  “Whatever. I may be many things, but I ain’t never been light nothing: light-skinned, lightweight, lighthearted. Besides, I came for the tacos, not the tequila.” Asha pointed to the food in the middle of the table. “Now, stop trying to be cute and sit down and eat. People are staring.”

  Devyn glanced in the direction Asha was motioning, and sure enough, a guy was looking at her. She politely smiled back, then sat down and picked up a taco, taking a bite.

  “So, about your dating dilemma,” Asha continued.

  “How can I have a dilemma when I ain’t dating?” Devyn pointed out.

  “That’s my point. We’re gonna fix that.”

  “But it’s not broken. If I wanted to date, I would—but I don’t. And it has nothing to do with what I went through. I’m over that. I just haven’t met anyone I vibe with enough even to be interested in,” Devyn explained. “Dating is the last thing I’m even thinking about right now. I have more important stuff to worry about than penis and the drama that comes with it.”

  “Really? Like what?” Asha asked.

  “Like figuring out what it is that I’m supposed to be doing with my life. Something that’s less stressful and gonna make me more money than this bullshit I’m doing now.” Devyn immediately regretted her words as soon as she said them. She didn’t have to look at Asha’s face to know that they had probably stung a little, which she didn’t mean to do. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, Asha, I’m grateful for my job. But . . .”

  “It’s cool, Dev. I understand, and you don’t have to apologize.”

  Asha’s flat tone confirmed that Devyn had struck a nerve. Devyn hadn’t meant to sound unappreciative. She wouldn’t even be working if Asha hadn’t heard about the job from a client and suggested that she apply since she complained about being bored. At the time, the savings she’d been living off of were dwindling fast, and she was still trying to figure out her next career move. Being a substitute teacher seemed to be a good idea and a way to put a little money in her pocket while figuring it out. But it definitely wasn’t what Devyn enjoyed doing, and it was becoming harder and harder to go to work each day. Not only that, but she also wasn’t any closer to discovering what it was she wanted or needed to be doing next.

  “I do, and I’m really sorry. I’m not trying to be a bitch, but I’m just so . . .” Devyn tried to think of a word to describe her current state of mind.

  “Unfulfilled.” Asha found the word Devyn had been searching for.

  “Exactly.” Devyn nodded. She wasn’t used to being in a rut. She’d spent her entire life maneuvering and positioning herself for success. Years of hard work, determination, discipline, and ambition had paid off—until she lost everything wit
hin a matter of days. Asha had been by her side through it all. Devyn couldn’t ask for a better best friend.

  “You went through a season of loss. We all go through that. Yours was longer and harder than most.” Asha sighed. “But you’ve gained some things too. Like Fantasia says, sometimes you gotta lose to win.”

  Devyn thought about all the things she’d lost: her relationship, her dream job, her mother, and her health, all within a matter of months. The only thing she’d gained in the process was the house that her uncle allowed her to live in and thirty pounds that she didn’t want.

  “What exactly did I win? Remind me,” Devyn said.

  “It’s all going to come together, Dev. I promise. It just takes time, that’s all.” Asha gave her a reassuring smile.

  “I’ve given it enough time. I’m tired of being lost. It’s like I’m searching for something, but I don’t even know what I’m looking for.” Devyn shook her head. “I don’t even know what direction I’m supposed to face. I used to look in the mirror and know exactly who I was. Now, I don’t even recognize the person on the other side.”

  “Devyn, you’re still the same person. You’re still beautiful, you’re still smart, you’re still talented, and God still has a plan for your life.”

  Devyn looked down at Asha’s hand touching her arm. “I know. I just wish he’d give me a sign because right now, I feel like I’m all alone, stuck in a fog and can’t see anything.”

  “You’re not alone, Dev. You know I’m right here with you tryin’a help you figure it out. And God is gonna direct both of us to exactly where we’re supposed to be.”

  “You think so?”

  “I know so.” Asha nodded. “You just gotta be open and willing to receive.”

  Devyn closed her eyes and lifted her hands, pretending to pray. “God, I’m open. Send me a sign.”

  “Compliments of the gentleman in the corner.” Miguel reappeared and set her margarita on the table moments later.

  “Well, that was nice,” Devyn said. “Please tell him I said thank you.”

  “You can tell him yourself. He’s standing behind you,” Asha whispered.

  Devyn turned around, expecting to see the guy she smiled at moments earlier, but it wasn’t him. Instead, she found a lanky guy who looked like he wasn’t much older than the students in Mrs. Hughes’s chemistry class. “Oh, uh, hi.”

  “Hey, there, beautiful. I wanted to come over and make sure you got your drink,” he said. “I’m RayQuan.”

  “I did. Thanks.” Devyn hoped her dry tone would be a deterrent, but he remained where he stood.

  “You are more than welcome. You’ve gotta be the most beautiful chick I’ve ever seen. May I ask you a question?”

  After cringing at the word “chick,” Devyn sighed and gave him the answer she knew he wanted to know. “Five-eleven.”

  “Damn, that’s tall as fuck, ma. I love me an Amazonian woman.” He nodded. “I guess you already knew what I was gonna ask, huh?”

  “Yep.”

  “So, you think I could get your number?”

  “I would, but I’m engaged.” Devyn shrugged.

  “Damn, that’s too bad,” RayQuan said, then turned his attention to Asha. “What about you? How tall are you, ma?”

  “Six feet, but I’m going to have to decline that delightful offer as well,” Asha said, looking quite amused. Devyn knew her friend was suppressing her laughter.

  “Well, enjoy the rest of y’all night,” RayQuan said, then walked off.

  When he was gone, Devyn looked across the table at Asha’s face, which was now red. “Go ahead. Let it out.”

  “You asked for a sign,” Asha giggled.

  Unable to keep her own straight face, Devyn joined in her friend’s laughter. Within seconds, they were both shaking and dabbing at the tears that were streaming. Devyn was so caught up in the moment with her best friend that she didn’t even think to turn around and make sure their young suitor was no longer in earshot until seconds later. She turned around in her seat and scanned the area nearby, relieved when she didn’t see any sign of him. Just as she was about to turn back around, she noticed the guy who’d caught her eye earlier exiting the patio area. As she watched him, he turned around, and their eyes met. He smiled at her again.

  “Do you know that guy?” Devyn turned to Asha. “I think I know him from somewhere, but I don’t know where.”

  “What guy? Where?” Asha leaned over and looked past Devyn.

  “The guy smiling at us. He’s right by the door in the jacket.”

  Asha shrugged. “I don’t see anybody by the door, Dev.”

  Devyn turned back and saw that he was gone. “That’s crazy. He was right there.”

  For a second, Devyn considered getting up and going to see if she could find him. He seemed so familiar. But it was too late. He was probably long gone, and her free frozen margarita was melting.

  * * *

  Later that night, Devyn stepped out of her shower and stood in front of the full-length mirror behind the bathroom door. Instead of using her bath towel to wrap around her wet body, she used it to wipe the moisture from the mirror, then stared at her reflection. It was like looking at a stranger. Her face was the same, but the abdomen, which was once flat, now puffed out, and she could pinch mounds of skin on the sides. The once-perfect B-cup breasts were a full C cup, closer to a D, now. Countless hours of cardio that she’d been putting in lately had only resulted in her hips widening, buttocks tightening, and legs toning. No matter how hard she worked out, she couldn’t get back to the perfect bikini body she used to have. The body that had made her almost famous was forever gone.

  No longer able to tolerate what she saw, Devyn turned around and stared at the bathroom counter, which held the source of her contorted, fuller figure that also enabled her to live: her meds. The pills, prescribed by her physician, kept her alive, but they killed her dreams.

  Devyn had never heard of Addison’s disease until the doctors finally diagnosed her after she lay in the hospital for damn near two weeks after the wedding disaster. Her frequent nausea, fainting spells, constant thirst, and irritability that she’d been suffering from for a year prior were all a result of her illness. What she thought were panic attacks and chest pains brought on by stress were also symptoms that she ignored. Devyn was faced with the reality of never going back and doing what she loved: modeling. Because she was susceptible to blood clots, traveling on planes every week to get to even meet with design houses, let alone walk in runway shows, was no longer possible. The somber likelihood of having to be on oxygen in the future meant that her career was over.

  Chapter 4

  Asha

  “Asha, Mr. Maxwell is here to see you.” Libby’s voice came through the phone intercom system.

  “Maxwell?” Asha looked up from the team-building retreat proposal she’d been working on for the past hour. She’d promised the client, Dr. Reed, a prominent dentist with a large practice, that she’d have it submitted to him by noon for him to review. This would be the fourth time he’d hired their company to plan an event, and he’d specifically asked for Asha, which was why she was so meticulous. It wasn’t anywhere near finished, and the last thing she wanted to do was stop, especially for someone who hadn’t even bothered to show up for their previous appointment.

  “Max Transportation,” Libby whispered.

  “I know who he is. I just wasn’t expecting him. Give me a moment, please,” Asha said. She’d sent a brief email to Maxwell Transportation regarding the missed meeting and invited them to reschedule and hadn’t thought any more about it. In addition to finishing the proposal, Asha had a long list of other items on her agenda to complete for the day. She decided to tell Libby to have another one of her colleagues meet with him instead. “Libby, see if Paula can . . . Libby?”

  “Yeah?” Instead of coming through the intercom, Libby’s voice came from the doorway. Before Asha could say anything, Libby added, “You can come in, Mr. Maxwell.”
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  “Thank you so much.” The voice was deep, baritone, smooth, and perfectly matched the man that Libby guided into Asha’s office.

  Shit, Asha thought as she stared at him. He was tall, at least six foot three, about 200 pounds, with a nice build and a thick beard which made him ruggedly handsome. He wore khakis, a collared polo shirt with his company logo, and brown Cole Haan loafers. Even in his simple attire, he exuded sex appeal.

  “Mr. Maxwell, I’m Asha Bailey.” Asha stood and extended her hand.

  “Nice to meet you, Ms. Bailey. I’m Benson Maxwell, but please call me Ben.” He smiled, revealing bright, white teeth that were slightly crooked, but somehow perfect.

  “Please, call me Asha.” Asha motioned to the chair in front of her desk. “Have a seat.”

  “Thank you.” Ben sat down.

  Asha looked over at Libby, who was still in the office, staring just as hard at the handsome man as Asha wanted to. “Libby, I think we’re good here.”

  Libby snapped out of her trance, blinked, and said, “Oh, no problem.” Then she scurried off.

  “Can I get you anything? Soda, water?” Asha offered.

  “No, I’m good. I’m sorry to pop up like this. I did get your email about missing our meeting the other day. I wanted to apologize in person. When I saw you at the Convention Center, I thought you were there for the event with the other ladies,” he laughed.

  “You were at the Convention Center? I didn’t see you. What other ladies?” Asha was confused. There was no damn way he could’ve been there, and she missed him.

  “There were a bunch of ladies there. I held the door open for all of you when you walked out.” Ben nodded. “You walked right past me.”

  “No, I would’ve remembered you,” Asha told him.

  “I had on coveralls because I’d been working in the garage all day. That’s why I was late. One of my mechanics had to leave because his wife went into labor. I was finishing up a job that he was in the middle of when he left, which is why I ran late,” Ben explained. “But I saw you.”