Large and in Charge

by La Jill Hunt

  After leaving the house, she called Nigel to tell him she couldn’t make it. He recognized the distress in her voice and convinced her to meet him to talk. They met in the restaurant’s parking lot, walked across the street to a small park, and sat on a bench. At first, she tried to give him a vague overview of the situation, explaining that her ex had violated her privacy after their breakup a few years earlier, and she was still dealing with the aftereffects. However, she then found herself doing something she’d never before done . . . telling him everything. Nigel listened. He didn’t ask any questions or make comments as he passed her a crumpled Culture napkin from his jacket pocket to wipe the tears she shed. He just let her talk until she finished.

  “So, what would make this situation better for you?” he asked.

  “If somehow that video disappeared, and no one would’ve ever seen it,” Devyn answered.

  “Which video? The one your pageant trainee posted, the one your ex made mocking the wedding, or is there another one?”

  “All of them. I want them all to disappear forever as if they never existed,” Devyn told him. “And while I’m at it, I want this stupid illness gone too.”

  “So, in a way, you wish you never existed, huh?” Nigel frowned slightly.

  “No, not me. D’Morgan, that’s who I wish would just disappear forever, and she had—until that stupid video. Now, I have to deal with it all over again. The hurt, shame, and embarrassment. I want to go back to who I was before that damned wedding.” Devyn stared at the ground, remembering how great her life was up until the moment Tremell made a mockery of her in front of the world.

  “Unfortunately, none of that’s possible. And from what I’m looking at here, I wouldn’t want D’Morgan to go anywhere.”

  Devyn glanced over and saw him looking at his phone. “What are you doing?”

  “Looking at pictures of D’Morgan. She’s a bad chick. Damn.” Nigel nodded. “I’m impressed.”

  “Please don’t, Nigel. I’m serious.” Devyn immediately became self-conscious and tried to grab his phone, but he pushed her away.

  Devyn stood up to leave. “You know what? I don’t have to deal with this. I’m out.”

  Nigel grabbed her hand. “Devyn, stop. Don’t leave. Come on, talk this thing through with me.”

  “There’s nothing else to talk about. We’ve sat here for almost an hour, and I told you everything. That’s it. I’m not gonna sit here and be humiliated while you look at memories of a past I’m trying to forget. What’s the point?” Devyn glared at him.

  “The point is, yeah, you told me the details of what happened and how you’re feeling. But what are you gonna do about it?” He stood and towered over her. He was dressed just as casual as she was in jeans, T-shirt, Jordans, and baseball cap. As he took a step closer, she easily recognized the scent of the Bond Number 9 cologne he was wearing.

  “What am I supposed to do? I can’t make the video disappear, and I can’t get my old life back. I have to deal with D’Morgan forever until I die.” Devyn shook her head.

  “Then stop trying to bury her,” Nigel insisted. “Learn to live with her and then outshine her ass.”

  Devyn looked at him as if he were speaking some foreign language because she had no idea what he was saying. “What?”

  “Devyn, stop giving your power and energy away. Every time you try to escape something that’s a major part of you, that’s what happens. We give away the power to change the narrative and allow people and situations to control us.” Nigel’s eyes became dark. “You’ve gotta stop that. You don’t want people to remember what happened to D’Morgan back then . . . so, show them how amazing Devyn is now. Take back the power from D’Morgan and your damn ex.”

  “That’s what I was trying to do by moving here and rebuilding my life.”

  “No. Sounds like you were running away and trying to hide from a whole lot of shit.”

  Devyn flinched, jolted by his words. Tears began to form in her eyes again. Nigel pulled her back to the bench, and they sat down.

  “I get it. I know what it feels like to be judged and ridiculed for some bullshit that was no fault of your own, so you get as far away from it as you can. That’s exactly what I did. No matter what, it wouldn’t change what had happened. Then I decided to be happy and reminded myself that what went down doesn’t define who I am. It didn’t take away my dreams or my visions for the life I wanted. And if I really wanted better, I was going to have to make it happen,” Nigel shared. “I embraced me—all of me—my past, present, and future. I took my power back. That’s what you’ve gotta do.”

  “I don’t even look like that anymore. I can’t be D’Morgan again. The doctors said that I couldn’t . . .” Devyn sniffed.

  “I didn’t say be her. I said, be you, whoever that is.” Nigel stopped her. “But you can’t fully be who you are until you acknowledge that D’Morgan is a part of you. Her hiccups are your hiccups, but damn, so are her accomplishments and accolades. Own that shit, Devyn. Build on it. Don’t you see that’s what your ex did? He built his brand around you. He took your brand and used it to his advantage. Why can’t you do the same thing?”

  Devyn had never looked at it like that. She’d spent all her efforts and energy trying to forget Tremell and everything that had happened, while he took every opportunity to highlight it. For a while, everywhere she looked, he was there: TV, the radio, magazines. The more Touché shined, the harder she tried to lose herself in the shadow. She always thought he did it to hurt her, and maybe he did. He damn sure used it as leverage to stardom. Perhaps Nigel was right. It was time for her to somehow benefit from who she used to be.

  “I need to find a way to use D’Morgan as a stepping-stone.” Devyn said the words out loud, more for herself than anyone else. “Make whatever I do next so big that people forget about her.”

  “Ding. That’s correct. Tell her what she’s won, Charlie.” Nigel’s game show host imitation made her smile.

  “I hope it’s some food because I’m starving,” Devyn commented.

  “Hell, my stomach has been growling since we walked over here. Why do you think I’ve been talking so loud? I was tryin’a make sure you didn’t hear it.”

  “You weren’t loud enough,” Devyn laughed.

  “Wow, see, this is what I get for tryin’a play Doctor Iyanla and help you fix your life instead of going to get my grub on down the street,” Nigel teased as he stood up. “Come on, let’s go eat.”

  Devyn walked beside him as they exited the park and walked until they arrived at a Hammond’s, a small oyster bar in the same shopping center where they’d parked. Devyn had never even seen the place before. Most likely because it was two doors down from Sage, an exclusive restaurant that people raved about.

  “Folks go to Sage when they want to look good,” Nigel told her after they’d been seated. “Folks come to Hammond’s when they wanna eat good.”

  Nigel was absolutely right. Devyn enjoyed some of the best chicken and red velvet waffles she’d ever had. She also enjoyed the conversation and getting to know Nigel even more.

  “We really want Culture to be a vibe venue where people can enjoy unique social experiences. Everyone doesn’t like hanging out at the club all the time. Culture is a place you can come, meet people, network, and do something interactive at the same time. The large rooms are big enough to hold sip-and-paint classes, line dancing, wine tastings, mixology demos, and other stuff. We’re trying to develop a couple of things for the senior citizens to enjoy twice a week during the day. That’s gonna be on Nadia, though. That’s her thing. She’s the artist in the family. She did most of the artwork in the building and has a studio that she works out of. We’re still in the developmental stage, but it’s gonna come together.”

  “I loved the artwork. It’s the coolest thing ever.” Devyn smiled. She didn’t go out much, but if she did, Culture would definitely be an option that she would consider. She used to love doing interactive activities like bowling and arcades.
This was right up her alley.

  “Wanna hear something crazy?” Nigel asked.

  “Crazier than what’s going on in my life?” Devyn gave him a knowing glance.

  “Yep. My grandmother used to clean that bank for years. When they moved, and the building was sitting there empty, Nadia used to say, ‘We should buy it.’ I thought she was crazy, until one day, I was like, ‘She’s right.’ We had no idea what we were gonna do with it. We didn’t know how we were gonna pay for it. We just knew it was what we were supposed to be doing. It made absolutely no sense at the time, but we prayed and trusted that we were being guided somehow. Sure enough, once we stopped doubting and fully committed to the fact that this was our purpose, it happened.” Nigel leaned back in his chair and shrugged.

  Devyn thought about the morning she decided to try coaching. She had agreed to do it and started, but the truth was, she wasn’t fully committed. Although she didn’t want to admit it, she was still filled with fear. That fear was what caused her to insist on all the rules, regulations, and stipulations. But despite all of them, here she was, having to face the one thing she’d been avoiding: her past.

  “My mom used to tell me that sometimes you have to do it scared,” Devyn murmured.

  “Long as you get it done, that’s all that matters.”

  “Thank you, Nigel, for everything. And to think, I didn’t even wanna go last night. Who would’ve thought.” She smiled.

  “Why not? Ben’s a great guy.” Nigel looked surprised. “A woman not interested in Ben Maxwell—that’s a first.”

  “I haven’t really been in the dating mood. He’s a client of my best friend, and I kinda felt obligated. I had fun, though, as you already know,” she pointed out.

  “See, you did it scared, and look at what happened. You met your new life coach and was treated to the best brunch you’ve ever had,” Nigel pointed out.

  “I did,” Devyn nodded. “Now, I have to go back home and hang out with my crew, who probably thinks I’ve harmed myself.”

  “We definitely don’t want you to do that.”

  “I won’t. I actually feel better. You have given me a whole new perspective. I’m kinda excited.”

  “You should be. Snatch back your power and control your own narrative. Use it whatever way you want to. And for the record, Touché’s music is whack as hell, and I’m pretty sure whatever sex tape he has that everyone is talking about, is just as terrible as his lyrics.”

  Devyn’s eyes widened. “What? What are you talking about?”

  “Not that it matters, but that’s what was on one of the blogs I saw while searching for you. Wait, it’s not a sex tape with you, is it?” His face was now just as panicked as hers.

  “Hell no, it’s not with me,” she replied.

  “Then that ain’t your problem. It’s his. You got your own brand to build, remember?”

  The friendly waitress who’d served them came to clear the table. “Can I get you guys anything else?”

  “Just the check, Jodi,” Nigel told her.

  She stopped what she was doing and shook her head. “Absolutely not. Now, you know your money is no good here, Bear. Don’t insult me.”

  “Bear?” Devyn hoped that she’d misheard the woman.

  “Yeah, a nickname from back in the day that I don’t use anymore. Kinda like you and D’Morgan,” he laughed.

  Devyn managed a weak smile, mentally putting two and two together, praying that she could somehow make it five instead of four. God indeed had a sense of humor.

  Oddly enough, the revelation of Nigel possibly being Ingrid’s ex somehow became more of a concern than her own viral video or the news about the sex tape starring her ex.

  Chapter 16

  Asha

  The sound of the garage door opening caused instant tension, and Asha gasped slightly. Her eyes darted to Chase, who sat upright on the sofa. They’d already decided that they would be accountable, empathetic, and supportive when talking to Devyn, after allowing her to release the cussing out they were sure she was going to unleash. Asha also agreed that Chase could stay with her for the two-day duration that she would have after Devyn kicked her out. They were a united front with a plan, but Asha was still a little uneasy.

  “Hey,” Devyn said as she strolled into the great room.

  “Hey,” Asha and Chase spoke at the same time.

  Devyn turned and looked at Chase. “How long did you drive to get here? You must’ve left pretty early, huh?”

  Chase looked over at Asha for a second, then answered. “It took about five hours. I left at around six, but I stopped for gas and snacks.”

  “Okay, cool.” Devyn plopped down on the opposite end of the sofa.

  Asha and Chase looked at each other again. It was clear that they were both confused by Devyn’s demeanor. They’d expected her to be angry, upset, and shedding uncontrollable tears, and that was before they broke the news of the latest update on Tremell.

  “How was brunch?” Chase asked.

  “It was cool. I had a great time.” Devyn nodded and pulled her baseball cap off her head, tossing it on one of the large, leather floor poufs. “What have y’all been doing?”

  “Uh, talking and waiting for you,” Asha told her. “Who did you have brunch with?”

  “Oh, I met with a life coach,” Devyn said.

  “A life coach?” Asha gave her a look that was just as strange as Devyn’s response. Hearing her say that she’d met with a life coach was totally unexpected, especially since Asha had the most challenging time convincing her to see a therapist to deal with the grief, depression, and anxiety she suffered from after losing her mother and everything else. She damn sure didn’t go willingly.

  “Yeah, a life coach.” Devyn shrugged. “As I said, it was cool, and the food was awesome.”

  “I think that’s great, Dev.” Chase smiled.

  “I can’t believe they let you in Sage with those sweats on. Usually, they have a strict dress code, especially on Sundays. Your life coach must have pull,” Asha commented.

  “We didn’t go to Sage,” Devyn told her. “We went somewhere else.”

  “Oh,” Asha said, expecting Devyn to share where she’d gone and more information about the life coach that she’d never mentioned before, but she didn’t.

  “Are you okay?” Chase asked.

  “I’m a little better. I’m still processing everything, of course. I can’t believe this, though,” Devyn sighed. “Like, damn.”

  “We know, and we’re sorry. Neither one of us meant for this to happen, right, Chase?” Asha gave the first line of the speech she and Chase had rehearsed.

  “That’s right, Dev. And we’re coming up with a plan to run interference and PR so everything will be handled. You won’t have to worry about any of that. I’m already on it.” Chase nodded her head with assurance. “Asha is gonna meet with Dionne and Journi and—”

  “No, you don’t need to do that.” Devyn stopped her. “I’ll handle it.”

  Asha frowned. “Huh?”

  “I’ll handle it,” she repeated and raised an eyebrow.

  Devyn’s impassive disposition made her uneasy, and Asha wondered if she was devising some kind of vengeful retaliation against the girls for their error in judgment. The last thing her friend needed was something else for people to talk about. Asha wanted all of this to be over and done with so that Devyn could move past it.

  “It’s no problem, Dev. This whole thing is my fault anyway and wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t push you to do the coaching thing. This is on me. I’ll deal with them,” Asha told her in an effort to be as resourceful as possible. This was a mess she’d indirectly caused, so she felt that she should be the one to clean it up.

  “Asha, you don’t have to do that. I appreciate the offer, though.” Devyn turned to look at Chase, “Both of you. But I’ll handle it. All of it.”

  “Devyn, we just want to be here for you to help you deal. Whatever that means, or whatever it looks like. Yo
u need it, and you know we’re right here.” Chase slid closer and touched her arm.

  “I know, and I appreciate you both.” Devyn nodded. “As I said, I’m still processing it all right now.”

  Chase raised an eyebrow at Asha, then said, “Listen, there’s something else.”

  “Oh God, now what?” Devyn leaned her head back and groaned.

  Asha braced herself for the impact she knew was coming once they answered Devyn’s question.

  “Well, there’s a sex tape,” Chase declared with conviction.

  Devyn’s head slowly rose, and her mouth gaped open as wide as her eyes. “What? You have a sex tape? With WHOM?”

  Chase gasped and clutched her chest as if a pearl necklace were around her neck that she could grab. “Bitch, are you crazy?”

  The exchange between the two women happened so fast and was so hilariously unexpected that Asha laughed out loud before she could stop herself.

  Devyn looked over and said, “What’s funny?”

  Asha was too tickled to answer, and the innocent look on Devyn’s face as she asked the question made her laugh even harder.

  “You know damn well that I don’t have a sex tape. With whom, Dev? I can’t even find a guy I like well enough to hook up with even randomly. What the hell is wrong with you?” Chase shook her head in disbelief.

  “Well, I know Sully and Sleeping Beauty over there damn sure ain’t make one.” Devyn pointed toward Asha.

  Asha’s humor faded along with her smile. “Whatever, heffa.”

  “I’m just saying,” Devyn said.

  “She does have a point,” Chase agreed.

  “No, I don’t have a sex tape either, Devyn,” Asha sighed.

  “Then who are y’all talking about?” Devyn asked. Neither Asha nor Chase answered, and she said. “Wait, are y’all talking about Tremell?”

  It was a moment before anyone spoke. It was as if they were all stuck for a second. Asha just stared at Devyn as she tried to read her face for some kind of emotion, but she couldn’t find any.