by J. Nichole
She laughed and pointed to her bedside clock. After eleven. “Wow,” I said smiling. “Didn’t expect it to be this late already.” I’m glad we slept in, but disappointed that half the day was already gone.
After my shower, I found her in the middle of the living room, her legs stretched wide, both arms flat against the floor. I remembered our third round and realized it was the flexibility she was exhibiting on the floor that had her able to bend her legs damn near her head last night. “I should stretch too,” I said as I joined her on the floor. “Everything okay?” I asked as she sat up, her face seeming bothered.
Her attempt at a smile was the only response I needed. “I woke up worried about my damn clients,” she said, leaving me disappointed because I didn’t do enough to ease her stress the night before.
“Okay, what’s next?” I reminded her how she convinced me to consider different options then we found what I was looking for, reminded her that she had convinced me that going out farther was our next step had I not found the condo I’m in now. “Where are they trying to live?”
“It’s tough because they didn’t want to uproot their kids from their school.” I nodded my head. “But finding another home in their neighborhood, within their budget, is proving to be impossible.”
“Didn’t you say you started your career as a designer?” I asked to her furrowed brows. “How about they become your design clients instead? You help them design a remodel, they can use their equity for the build out, and you charge a fee for the design consultation.”
Her head wagged as she considered my proposal. A proposal that honestly came out of thin air, but once I repeated it to her, sounded like an excellent way for her to add to her offerings. She had helped me with decorating my place, bringing it from ‘drab to fab’ as she said.
“They wanted more space”—her eyes rolled up to look at the ceiling—“but some of their other wants could totally work with their current house and a good construction team.” With her hand on her lip she said, “I happen to have one in mind.”
Glimmer started to return to her eyes and I was glad to see she was easing from the stress. “Now, to sell them on the idea.” I wasn’t concerned about her pulling that off; she was covered in that department.
“Ready for this walk?” I asked as I reached a hand out to help her off the floor. Instead of taking to the sidewalk near her place, like I was thinking, we hopped in her car and drove to a nearby park.
“Something about nature resets my mood.” I was all in, especially if she needed to level set her mood for the day. She grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s do this.”
Our walk was more like a hike through the woods, navigating the trail of fallen trees, wildlife and finally ending at a waterfall. “You don’t do this trail alone, do you?”
She shook her head. “No, Lisa usually joins me. Marley is not the outdoorsy type. Last time Lisa and I were here, we found our way to the waterfall and stayed out here for an hour just listening to the water.”
I had to admit, “The sound of the water crashing against the rocks is soothing.” I spotted a bench nearby and took her hand to guide us there. We both exhaled as we sat down.
The urge to talk to her was egging me, but I appreciated the silence between us instead. Rubbing small circles in her hand, I waited for her to look at me and ask, “Ready for the hike back to the car?” I nodded my head and we carefully navigated away from the waterfall. “Thanks for joining me,” she said with a smile as she opened her arms wide when we made it back to her car.
I wrapped her inside of my arms, hers wrapped around my waist, and said, “I’ll join you anytime you need me.”
On our way back to her place, she blasted her music. I laughed as she tried to sing along to “Naked,” belting out, “Then somebody who loves me naked.” I watched her as the lyrics continued, her shoulders relaxed, her concentration focused on the road ahead. She was gorgeous.
“Anaya,” I said when she finished singing and pulled into her parking spot. “You’re beautiful,” I said when she turned to look at me. Her lips spread into a smile, and she leaned across the car and kissed me, gently.
She leaned back into her seat and said, “And you sir are handsome.” She winked as she opened her car door.
I went straight to her kitchen and opened the fridge. “I can cook us breakfast,” I said, as I was starving from the hike. “Eggs, toast.” I pulled out cooked chicken. “Maybe an egg and chicken breakfast sandwich.”
She laughed and started removing her shirt as she walked to her bedroom. “I’ll take whatever you cook up.”
As I added the chicken and eggs to the toast, Anaya bumped up against me looking over the plate. “Looks edible.” I laughed as she tried to downplay my Master Chef skills.
“Wait till you taste it,” I responded. She mumbled and I asked, “What was that?” She laughed and grabbed both plates to place them at our seats.
She told me about her plan to pitch the design idea to her client and I was proud that she took my thoughts and magnified them into something way better than I could have even thought. “That’s amazing,” I said.
“I have to figure out a way to keep the coins rolling”—she looked at me with her lips twisted—“or I may not be able to take another trip for a while.”
Although I knew she loved to travel, having her here every weekend wouldn’t be a problem for me at all. “I wouldn’t complain,” I admitted. When her frown didn’t disappear I added, “Okay, I understand. Get your coins.” She laughed.
Nineteen
Anaya
I walked around picking up toys Yara had spread around Russell’s apartment. When he asked, in a panic, if I could watch Yara for a few hours, I thought it’d be easy. Now I’m as tired as Yara, and could easily lie down and take a nap along with her. But my anxiety was on level ten, thinking about what could happen if she woke up before I did.
I sighed. The more time I spent with Yara, the less I felt I’d be ready to be a mom with children of my own. My mom was sure to tell me that the third time I called her within two hours to ask a question about snacks, or naptime, even if it was safe to let her eat only nuggets for lunch.
All toys were back in their place and I crashed on the couch, too tired to even turn on the TV. I watched the wall clock, one I had convinced Russell to hang in his living room, while I waited for the hour he was supposed to return.
This was another weekend when Veronica had an emergency and needed Russell to keep Yara. But Russell was scheduled to be in the office all day to deploy his latest project. If everything went off without issue, he should be returning to his place in fifty-nine minutes.
I sat and enjoyed the silence for at least thirty-three of the minutes. Before having a three-year-old around, I enjoyed music, or the television as background noise when I was home alone, but after today I think I’d enjoy stark silence more often.
My eyes began to close and I jumped when my phone vibrated on my lap. Damn, what did I do to deserve this? I thought as the burning sensation in my eyes began to intensify.
Russell: I’m so sorry, we encountered a bug during deployment and we have to resolve it before I can leave.
I read it a few times and I was tempted to text him back asking him to stop joking. But when the next text came I read it carefully and thought through an appropriate response.
Russell: I can ask my mom to come pick up Yara.
Admit defeat and salvage my day with a well-deserved nap? Or prove that a three-year-old won’t get the best of me?
Anaya: Don’t worry your mom. I got this.
I didn’t have it. I should have tapped out, opted out of the day that was going to be one of the worst of my life. It started an hour later when I snuck in to check on Yara and her extended nap. She was still curled up in the middle of the bed, and I reached over to make sure I saw her chest rising and falling, but as I came closer to her I felt heat emanating from her body.
I looked around the room, panicked
because I was pretty sure that heat was the start of, or a well-formed fever. “Shoot,” I whispered and snuck back out of the room to grab my phone. I called Russell, and after the fourth ring I hung up. My mom was next on the call list, and she too decided to ignore my calls. “Fuck.” I peeped into Yara’s room again, watching her motionless from the doorway.
I called each of them one more time with no luck. I wish I had his mama’s phone number. I didn’t want to overreact and call an ambulance, but I’d do that before I sat here with a sick child. I scrolled through my contact list, and stopped on Mrs. Lehigh’s name as I remembered her husband was a pediatrician. I rubbed my hands through my hair before I made the decision to call them.
“Hello,” Mrs. Lehigh answered after a couple of rings.
“Mrs. Lehigh,” I explained Yara’s condition, and as a mother of two, she walked me through what I should do next. As I listened to her voice, I searched Russell’s bathroom for a thermometer. Thankfully, it was one of those forehead devices that wouldn’t require me to open Yara’s mouth. “It says one hundred and three,” I whispered.
“Okay,” she said calmly, but I was far from calm; my damn nerves were frazzled. “You need to take her to the emergency room.” My eyes bulged and I started pacing the room. “Once you get there, give me a call back if you aren’t seen within thirty minutes.” I agreed and put my phone in my back pocket as I gathered a bag and my purse. Then I went in for Yara, scooping her up into my arms.
Her eyes flickered open slightly to look at me then closed again. As I hurried to my car, I replayed the day trying to remember if she had cough or sneezed, had stomach issues, and I had nothing. She was seemingly well all day.
My panic eased as I drove because I remembered my mom telling me once that kids had fevers when they were teething. I glanced at Yara in my rearview and hoped she was getting a new tooth. I tried calling Russell again, and nothing. But I left a message so he’d know where I was in case he made it home at some point.
I pulled into the emergency room parking lot and picked up Yara, who was now awake but quiet. As I entered the doors of the hospital, I realized I didn’t have a medical card for Yara, nor did I have her medical history. I sighed and it ‘caused Yara to look at me wide-eyed. “How are you feeling?” I finally asked.
She reached for her throat and said, “My voice hurts.” I smiled at the reference to her throat. I nodded my head as I continued to the desk. “Ms. Anaya, I want my daddy.” I looked at her because her voice sounded like it was cracking. The last thing I needed was for her to start crying. I was trying to hold on myself, and if she shed tears I’d probably be right behind her.
“What’s going on?” the attendant asked. I gave her all the symptoms I witnessed with Yara, and explained I was babysitting and couldn’t get in contact with her dad before bringing her in. The more I explained the more frustrated I got at myself for not having other details of Yara, or even her dramatic mother’s phone number; well, at least her grandmother’s phone number.
Yara’s head was resting on my shoulder and her quietness revealed her state. All day she had been very active, playing around the house, asking a million questions. Her typical self. “Okay, I have you checked in.” The administrator held out a band and asked, “Can I put this on your hand?” Yara reached out her little hand and watched as the hospital band was secured.
We moved to the waiting area, with the crowd of sick people, and I worried I’d pick up something from them. I sat us in a corner away from most of the other people. I looked at my phone to time our wait, just in case I needed to call Mrs. Lehigh.
Fortunately, I didn’t. A nurse called us back and Yara’s temperature ensured her an immediate spot in a hospital room. “And you say it came on as she napped?” the young nurse asked as she felt around her neck and checked her stomach.
“Yes,” I confirmed. After poking and prodding, she told me she’d take a swab of her throat and nose to eliminate the flu or strep throat. “Okay,” I said softly, knowing that probably wouldn’t go over well with Yara. I held her hand as the nurse prepped the swabs.
Yara nearly knocked the swabs from her hands, and I was with her; it looked very uncomfortable. Still I said, “It’ll be quick Yara.” I looked at the nurse hoping she would hurry.
After she left the room, my phone rang, and as I saw Russell’s name I released a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. “Hello.”
“I’m at the emergency room, where are you?” he asked sounding rushed. I told him where we were and waited for him to walk through the door. As soon as he saw Yara she smiled, but only slightly. He wrapped her in his arms and asked, “What are they saying?” Before I could respond he said, “Damn, she is warm.”
Within minutes of him arriving, Veronica walked through the door and quickly went to Yara’s side. Feeling around her head and down her body, for whatever reason. I finally spoke, telling the both of them what tests had been conducted. “The nurse will have the results soon, I hope.”
Veronica looked to Russell then to me and asked, or more demanded, “Give us a minute.” I looked at Russell before I stepped out; his shoulders were slumped and his eyes weary.
I leaned against the wall near the room until I realized I was no longer needed there. Yara had both of her parents, and there wasn’t anything more I could offer. I looked for the exit and took steps towards it before I heard someone rushing behind me. “Anaya,” Russell yelled, “hold up, please.”
I stood near the exit as he caught up to me. He opened his arms and I walked into them, and in that moment the tears that were lingering at the corner of my eyes released. I sniffled and he looked down at me. “Hey, you okay?”
I shook my head. “Today was a lot. And when I couldn’t reach you…” I sighed and shook my head. “Just too much. I hope Yara is okay, but I should go.” I scrunched my nose.
“I’m so sorry babe. Thank you for reacting quickly. I’m sure whatever is wrong with Yara she’ll recover quickly.” His lip quirked up. “She’s been pretty sick before.” Another thing I had no idea about. I shifted between each foot as he continued. “My phone died while I was wrapping up the project and I didn’t realize it till I made it to my car.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “Just wanted to catch you before you left. I’m sure you need some rest.”
I nodded my head and asked, “Can you keep me posted on Yara?” He agreed and kissed my forehead, wiping my tears away after he was done. I turned and left the emergency room.
Of course my mom called as I was driving back to my condo, and although I was mad that she was super late on her return call, I answered. “Hey Mom,” I said weakly.
“Hey, how’s that youngin’ doing? Sounds like she’s worn you out.” She laughed. I told her about our hospital trip and how I needed her help but she didn’t answer. “Oh goodness. You got the full parental experience.” I rolled my eyes, only because she couldn’t see me. “Is she okay?”
“I’m not sure.” I pulled into my parking spot. “I got out of there as soon as Russell and Veronica arrived.” She asked me about my interaction with Veronica and I leaned my head against the headrest. “She didn’t acknowledge me, then basically kicked me out the room.”
“Oh.” She had no other comments and I was surprised at her lack of opinion on the matter. “Get you some rest, and I’ll check on you later. I can bring you dinner if you need it.” I sat in my car till I had energy to get out.
While I waited I scrolled down Facebook. Some friends were at a day party in DC, others seemed to be enjoying the warmer weather spring had brought, frolicking outside.
Meanwhile, here I was exhausted after spending the day with a three-year-old.
I typed out a post before I got out of my car.
Dear #FutureHusband, when I’m falling apart, just pull me together, in your arms.
Twenty
Russell
I should have been grabbing a romance read as I scanned the shelves of the airport bookstore, but since Anaya
had been too busy to talk to me lately I grabbed another psychological thriller. For the first few nights on the road, I attempted to stay in my room and read, hoping I’d be able to catch up with her and tell her about the book. But by the third day, I got restless.
As I passed the hotel bar on my way to the room, I decided to stop in instead of ordering room service. The bar had a decent crowd, diverse for the suburban city outside of Dallas. I had seen my fair share of cowboy boots, big buckles, and pageant hair. But in this bar, the folks looked like a hipster crowd. The DJ was actually playing Top 40, and I had a couple of beers before one of my teammates sat beside me.
“I was starting to think you had grown to be antisocial.” During my few years with the company, I had worked on several projects with Donald. But I didn't spend much time with him outside of work.
I shrugged. “This road traveling has started to wear on me.” As I said it to keep him from my personal business, I felt the truth in it. Traveling had started to wear me down and the benefits had started to decline a while ago. I looked at him and said, “Only home a few days out of the week is a strain.”
He nodded his head. If I recalled correctly, Donald had a couple of children. His wife was a stay-at-home mom, although their kids had to be old enough to fend for themselves. He chugged his beer and asked for another before he said, “For me it’s like a retreat, away from all the madness in my house.” He chuckled.
My eyebrows narrowed. I drank the last of my beer and decided Donald and I had nothing more to discuss. I stood and tapped his shoulder. “Enjoy your retreat,” I said before heading back to my room.
I scrolled through my texts with Anaya, from the beginning, and noticed how the latest texts had started to change. Right after I told her about Yara, her replies became shorter and less frequent. No more random texts to tell me about what she was doing in the middle of the day, no more texts asking me about random news topics.