#FutureHusband

by J. Nichole

  Anaya: Awake?

  I lied awake waiting for a response that never came, at least not before falling back asleep. Probably for the best anyway. I still didn’t know how I’d explain my absence for so long to Russell yet.

  My phone vibrated and I jumped from the couch looking around my place trying to figure out how I ended up on my couch. I patted my hair then looked to the counter where our three glasses sat. Ladies night.

  Before I could look at my phone, Lisa was standing over me asking, “What’s for breakfast?”

  “I may have an egg in the fridge.” My nose scrunched up.

  “An egg between three of us?” She shook her head. “I’m headed home to shower and eat.” She rubbed her belly. “I’m hungry.” She grabbed her purse and yelled over her shoulder, “Lock the door behind me.” I did just that as Marley made her way to the kitchen.

  “She left without saying goodbye?” she asked as she opened my refrigerator. I told her she was hungry and she laughed. “Guess she realized you are living like a broke college student.” She closed the door and leaned against the counter. “Anaya, get your life together. Your house is in shambles, your man has probably moved on, you ain’t eating right.” She pointed to my hair. “You need to do something with that.”

  I laughed at the audacity of her breaking my life down and reminded her, “Girl, you were at the bar with your co-worker taking body shots just last night.” She rolled her eyes and laughed. “I think we both need to get it together.”

  She walked around the counter and hugged me before saying, “We do. In the meantime, clean this shit up.” She laughed. “And I am going to go see if dude from last night is available.” She looked over her shoulder as she grabbed her shoes from beside the counter. “I dreamed about him all night.”

  “Glad I moved to the couch before you tried to canoodle me.” She laughed and headed to the door, making me promise to call her after I cleaned and called my man. “I will.”

  But first I checked his text.

  Russell: I am now.

  Twenty-Two

  Russell

  The bar had once again become my haven after work. Without book club, or even Anaya to talk to, sitting in my room had become monotonous. She had yet to break up with me, but after weeks of no contact, I had started to believe the end was near or had already happened without my knowledge.

  My project still had me in the quirky suburbs of Dallas, and the bar near the hotel wasn’t as bad as the hotel bar; the folks sitting inside looked more like me. I limited myself to two beers before calling it a night, but I had a chick across the bar flirting with me and I was hesitant to wrap it up early.

  As much as I tried to avoid eye contact, I’d glance from the television up above then down her way and she’d be staring at me. She wasn’t worried in the slightest if I saw her staring. She would even smile when we caught each other in the middle of a stare down.

  Since being with Anaya, I’d make it through the week knowing back at home I could be inside of her within hours of landing. Now, I was starting to get restless, and by the tent pitched in my pants, the slightest bit of attraction turned me on. I shifted my legs as I prepared to take my exit, alone. As I stood, she stood too.

  Walking over to me before I could make it to the exit, I continued walking, and just as I made it outside my phone rang. “Bruh, where you at?” Nolan asked. I smiled because he was the master cock blocker and didn’t even know it.

  “You always know exactly when to call me to shut some shit down.” I had told Nolan about my self-imposed time-out, and how the time-out was killing me. He was obviously team Anaya, and told me to just wait that shit out.

  “Whatever it is, you didn’t need it anyway.” It was quiet wherever he was and I could hear him breathing heavy between sentences. I asked him if he was alright and he brushed it off, “Yeah, that’s why you need to chill out and wait for Anaya, we’re getting old man.”

  I looked behind me and saw the chick from the bar had went the opposite direction, so maybe she wasn’t coming for me afterall. “Bruh, you telling me I need to settle down ‘cause your ass needs cardio?”

  “I’m just saying. Anyway, I had a reason for calling.” He cleared his throat. “Shay is pregnant.”

  “Congrats, that’s big.” He told me how they had been having complications when they first got married, so it was a big deal that they were finally here after years of waiting. “Let me guess, your next home project will be the nursery.” They had just finished their kitchen renovation and he was hoping to get away from home projects for a while.

  He laughed. “Yeah man, life has some funny ways of reminding you who is boss.” He’s right, ‘cause if I had it my way, I’d be on my way to my room with chick from the bar in tow. Instead, I’m lying in wait for my girlfriend—one I didn’t expect to have ever, let alone this soon. “Hey,” he said, “Anaya still giving you the stiff arm?” I told him how long it had been since we last spoke, almost down to the hour. “Damn, I’m going to ask Shay about that.”

  I wasn’t sure I wanted Shay involved. Especially with her hormones probably all over the place with the pregnancy. “Just don’t ask Shay to reach out to her,” I said. “I want her to come to me on her own.” He started to object but I added, “If she has decided Veronica or Yara are too much, I don’t want anyone convincing her otherwise just for her to stick around to realize she can’t do it,” I said honestly as I made it into my hotel room. I could deal with Anaya not wanting to be with me, but I wouldn’t be able to deal with her acting like she wanted to be with me.

  “Alright,” Nolan finally agreed. “But how about Shay talk to Veronica?” I paused because Shay and Veronica were once cool, then when we split Shay stopped talking to her. “Ugh, nevermind,” he said quickly. “Just keep me posted about what happens.” Before I could hang up he said, “and stay out the damn bar.” We both laughed and I threw my phone on the bed. I looked around the hotel room, and more than ever I just wanted to be back in my condo, back at home.

  I packed my bags and drifted to sleep thinking about the chick from the bar, then quickly throwing those thoughts to the side to be replaced with dreams of Anaya. I read my latest psychological thriller on my flight home to avoid thinking about her.

  Then home, Yara kept me busy enough to be distracted from my thoughts of her.

  I was surprised when Veronica agreed to my offer to have Yara every weekend. It was a change in my routine but better than the surprise drop-ins she had started. With Yara around, my days were busy, and by the time she passed out so did I, but mostly on the couch attempting to watch a movie or a show I missed the week prior.

  When I woke up with a crook in my neck, I stretched and grabbed my phone to crawl into my bed. But it was already morning, and Yara would be up wanting breakfast soon, so I headed for the kitchen instead.

  My phone had a notification on it and when I read Anaya’s name on the screen, the phone fumbled in my hand and nearly crashed to the floor. I got it together and swiped my phone open. Holding my breath, I read the short message.

  Anaya: Awake?

  I texted her back but it had been hours since she sent the text, so she was probably back to sleep or out and about ready to show a house. Before I could dwell on it, I heard the familiar steps pounding against the floor. Why kids ran everywhere, I had no idea. “Daddy,” Yara said as she wrapped her arms around my legs.

  “Good morning, Yara.” I swooped her up in my arms, and asked, “What should we eat for breakfast?” Unlike the other meals, Yara was consistent about what she’d eat for breakfast. Cereal or pancakes. She didn’t alternate colors, or textures, like she did with other meals. Breakfast didn’t require a brief from her mom.

  Sure enough, she asked for, “Pancakes, Daddy.” I kissed her forehead and set her on her feet then pulled out the pancake mix to make her breakfast. While I was at it, I scrambled eggs and fried sausage for myself.

  We sat side-by-side at the counter and as I cut up her pan
cakes, I asked her about her dreams. “What’s a dream, Daddy?” I explained them to her and she paused then said, “No dreams, Daddy.” As we ate she made humming noises after each bite, I watched my phone hoping Anaya would text me back.

  It wasn’t till after breakfast and while Yara napped that a message came through. I was folding clothes when my phone vibrated on the dresser.

  Anaya: Can I call you?

  I didn’t respond. I didn’t want to wait for her to call, so I called her first. “Hello,” I said as she answered the phone. Now that I heard her voice, I realized it was her that needed to talk, and I needed to listen.

  “Are you busy today?” I had plans to take Yara to a play zone, and I was sure we probably needed time to hash out a conversation so I told her I was with Yara. “Oh, okay,” she said. “How about tomorrow?”

  “Veronica is picking her up in the afternoon. What do you have in mind?”

  “Actually,” she dragged out the word and I began to panic. This was the beginning of the end, I could feel it. “I need to do a check-in for work.” For work? Wow. This call was only for work?

  “Oh. Can you do that over the phone?” I asked, sounding drier than I intended, but that was probably necessary.

  “I was hoping we could also talk, in person, about us.” I took a deep breath before I agreed. She said, “I’ll be there around three.” And I knew that was best because Veronica would be out of sight by that time.

  “Alright, see you tomorrow,” I said before hanging up, my mood drastically different than before. I wasn’t excited to see her now. If the only reason she thought to call was because work made her, what kind of shit was that? And while she’s here, she’d tell me she’d been thinking about us, but just hadn’t had the nerve to tell me we were done. I tossed my phone on the bed and finished folding clothes.

  The only way out of this funk would be a distraction. I showered and waited for Yara to wake up. When she was up, I dressed her in a pair of leggings, tennis shoes, and a shirt. “Where are we going?” she asked.

  I learned, since she’d been able to talk, that telling her too far in advance our plans meant her asking every two minutes if it was time to go there. I waited till we were walking out of the house to answer her, “Going to go play.” Her face lit up and my mood was back at ease.

  Walking into the play zone may have been a slight mistake on a Saturday afternoon. Kids were everywhere, big kids, little kids, teenagers. I looked down at Yara and almost turned around before I saw her eyes light up. I sucked it up and paid for two hours of play.

  Between the bouncy houses, maze, slides, and arcade, I spent two hours chasing behind her and I needed a nap my damn self. When our time was up, Yara was tired too, but before I took us home I stopped into her favorite fast food spot to grab us lunch. This week though, she wasn’t eating french fries. I was able to convince her to eat apples with her nuggets.

  “Alright,” I said when she finished all her food, “ready to go home?” She shook her head but I knew that’s where we were headed. A few miles down the road she’d be sleep anyway.

  I was right, she was, and when I got her into her bed, she actually slept for hours. Leaving me on the couch to entertain myself. I too fell asleep, and we both slept through the night. The next morning I woke up with an even worse crook in my neck and a sour mood for falling asleep on the couch, again.

  By the time two o’clock rolled around, Yara’s bag was packed by the door and we both patiently waited for Veronica. Yara didn’t make too big of a deal about leaving my house when it was time for her to go, but I became a little sad each time she had to leave. If it were my choice, I’d have her full-time. But I knew Veronica would never go for that; besides, I traveled.

  When a knock came at the door, it was closer to three than two, and for the sake of time, I didn’t say anything. I kissed Yara on the head and waved as she walked hand in hand with her mom out the front door.

  I ran to the bathroom and checked myself in the mirror, but then shook my head because clearly Anaya wouldn’t care what I looked like if she was delivering bad news. I walked to the door slowly, when I heard another knock.

  As I opened it, I smiled. Damn I hope this isn’t the end. Even in a jeans and a t-shirt, she was gorgeous. “Come on in,” I said, noticing she looked startled. “You okay?” She didn’t respond.

  Instead, she got right to business, “Okay, for the check-in…” She rattled off all the items we would have to review. Although I wanted to say hell with all that, I entertained her painfully long list. When she finally said, “that’s it for that,” I released a deep breath.

  We were sitting side-by-side on the couch, and as she closed her laptop and looked at me, a tear trickled down her cheek. “Anaya, you aren’t okay.” I wanted to console her, pull her into my lap and wrap my arms around her but if she was breaking up with me that would only make it harder for the both of us.

  She shook her head and sniffled. “Russell, I have been so busy these past few weeks. But I have been thinking about us.” She snickered. “Haven’t stopped thinking about us.” She rubbed her hand against her jeans. “It’s never been a question about you.”

  She moved her hand to my knee. “I love you.” I was waiting for the but. “Hell, I even love Yara.” My heart felt like it was now in my throat as I waited for what else she needed to say. “That Veronica though.” She shook her head. “I could go the rest of my natural life without seeing her.” She closed her eyes. “But,” I held my head down as she continued, “if I do that then she wins and I lose.” Hell, I lose too.

  “I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to talk to you, but I know I had to do this in person, and well…” She pointed out my inconvenient travel schedule. “Russell, I want to try to make this work.”

  I looked up at her and although more tears had fallen, she was smiling and I smiled too. “I was thinking you were breaking up with me.” I wagged my head. “Honestly, I thought you had, in your mind, already done so but just left me hanging.”

  Her eyes grew wide and she asked, “Does that mean, you”—she bit her lip—“have you been with someone else?” I shook my head but still thought back to the chick in the bar.

  “To be honest, it crossed my mind. But I couldn’t do it. I wanted to wait for you to tell me what the deal was, one way or the other.” I placed a hand atop of hers and the other beneath her chin. “I don’t want to lose you,” I admitted to myself and to her.

  Twenty-Three

  Anaya

  “I don’t want to lose you either,” I said as he leaned into me, his lips making their way to mine. When we connected, the first time in too long, my shoulders eased. It was like I had been carrying around a weight, all these weeks. As we kissed, I climbed into his lap.

  He broke our kiss and said, “Dammit Anaya, I’m going to stop giving you time to think.” I laughed because it was his offer that made me take a step back. “If there is a next time, we’ll just have to suffer through that shit.” He put his hand behind my head and pulled it closer to his for another kiss.

  We stayed just like that till he stood, wrapped my legs around his waist and walked us into his bedroom. We frantically undressed, skipped the foreplay, and got right into it. And when I felt him, deep inside of me, another tear trickled down my cheek.

  “Babe,” I said softly as he stroked me with a slow intensity. “I need you.” He looked at my face as I grabbed his back and thrust my hips forward. His strokes were quicker, more forceful, and when I came undone I took his mouth in mine until he shuddered inside of me. “Just like that,” I whispered. He laid to my side and wrapped an arm around my waist.

  “Tell me what you’ve been doing,” he said as his eyes drifted closed.

  “The design project has been a good look, but it’s been kicking my ass.” I scrunched my nose. “Probably taking more of my time than it’s worth. Next time around I’ll have this as my guide on how to charge.” I answered his questions about the project, the architect, and my
clients. “I think they’ll be happy when it’s all done, but living in a hotel for months is probably not ideal.”

  “Tell me about it,” he whispered.

  “Hey, is traveling getting to you?” I turned to look at him. When we first met, he didn’t seem to mind being on the road every week.

  He nodded his head. “I’d rather be here,” he said bluntly.

  “I understand.” I knew I’d rather him be here too. “Can you make that happen?” I asked, remembering that he tried to search for another job before.

  “I may start looking when this project is over.” He turned on his side and asked, “Why were you so upset when I answered the door?”

  I sighed and closed my eyes. I didn’t want to bring more attention to the travesty of an ex. “Yara ran up to me and gave me a hug as I passed them in the hallway.” It was the cutest thing I’d seen, ever. She wrapped her little arms around my legs. “She looked very happy to see me.”

  “I’m sure, she’s asked about you.” He rubbed my arm and asked, “And Veronica?” I groaned. “That bad?”

  I nodded my head without opening my eyes. She had the audacity to tell me I had no purpose for going to his house, that he’d come to his senses and leave me alone. “Next time, I’ll be sure to come after you tell me she’s picked up Anaya.”

  “Nope.” He tapped my nose and I opened my eyes to look at him. “You have every right to be here. She’s not running shit in my house.” My lips formed into an ‘oh’ and I watched as he continued telling me what she was not going to do. That was all good and well, but unless he shared those same emotions with her, then it was pointless.

  I sat up in the bed and asked, “Where are you headed tomorrow?”

  “Back to Dallas,” he said sitting up beside me. I started collecting my clothes and re-dressing. “You have to leave so soon? Maybe we can get some dinner.”