Promise Me Once

by Paige Weaver

  She wrote something quickly in the notebook then handed it to me. I almost didn’t want to read it but Keely could be stubborn and persistent.

  Did you date?

  I chewed on my bottom lip, not sure how to answer that. Finally I gave up and handed the book back to her. “Ask him.”

  She scribbled again and held it up for me to see.

  I did. He said to ask you.

  My heart skipped a beat.

  “One date, Keely, that’s all it was. One date,” I said. I would never admit how much that date meant to me. There were just some things I wasn’t ready to face myself.

  Before she could write anything else, I moved past her, heading toward the door. I was afraid to face Cash again…afraid of my own feelings at seeing him…but I was starving and the need for food won out.

  I didn’t get very far though. Keely tapped me on the shoulder in the hallway. I turned, looking down at the notebook she was holding up for me to see.

  You knew all along and didn’t tell me! You’re supposed to be my friend!!!!!

  I looked up at Keely, feeling terrible for what I had done.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, seeing the hurt on her face. “When I realized you were his sister, I freaked. I just couldn’t tell you…”

  She shook her head, tears in her eyes.

  I wanted to explain but she brushed past me and flew down the stairs.

  I closed my eyes, disgusted with myself. So many times I had been tempted to tell her but I had been afraid. She knew my story. She knew how I used to be with men. She never judged me for that, but learning her own brother was one of those men, might look at me differently. She might even hate me for that.

  But Cash was here now. Alive. Different. Looking sexier than he had years ago. And that was saying something since he was drop dead hot before. The truth about us was going to come out. I would have to face my feelings. I realized, seeing him again, that they had never really faded. I was still that girl that was afraid to love and he was still that boy that made my heart leap. I just had to remember that I walked away from him once to protect myself.

  I could do it again.

  Stiffening my resolve, I followed Keely down the stairs. I found Tate and Cash’s friend in the kitchen, standing around the center island.

  “We left our supplies and horses right outside the neighborhood here,” Cash’s friend told Tate, drawing an x with his finger in the layer of dust on the island.

  “I know where that’s at,” Tate said, studying the crudely drawn map on the counter. “It’s a good hour walk away.”

  Keely went over to the opposite side of the kitchen and crossed her arms over her chest, avoiding me. A pang hit me as I walked to the opposite kitchen counter. I had never had many friends. I didn’t want to lose her too.

  “I can get to the spot in record time,” Cash’s friend was saying to Tate. He glanced up at me as he talked, ogling me with curiosity.

  I dismissed his interest and grabbed one of the cans of food that sat on the counter. Thunder boomed outside, shaking the house and lightning lit up the kitchen as I opened the can. I could feel Cash’s friend continue to stare at me as I dipped my fingers inside the metal can and pulled out a peach. I avoided his eyes even longer as I stuck the peach in my mouth and reached for another.

  “I’ll go with you,” Tate told the black-haired man, bending down to rest his elbows on the island. “You’ll need help and I know the way.”

  Cash’s friend tore his gaze away from me to look at my little brother. “No, kid. I don’t need help,” he said with a smile. “I’ve got this.”

  Tate grew red. “I’m not a kid. I’m fifteen. I can shoot as straight as any man and I’ve killed my share before. Ask my sister.”

  The peach felt like a lump of dirt in my mouth. I swallowed, forcing it down my throat.

  “Tate—” I started to argue. I hated when he talked about killing people.

  Cash’s friend interrupted. “I’m sorry. We haven’t formally met. I’m Gavin.” He turned to face me, leaning against the island and holding out his hand for me to shake.

  I put my hand in his. “Cat,” I said, shaking his hand firmly.

  He tilted his head to one side, still holding my hand. “Cash never mentioned you before which surprises me. I would talk about you day and night if I were him. I damn sure wouldn’t forget someone that looks like you.”

  I opened my mouth to respond but Cash walked into the room. His eyes ran over me, just a quick pass up and down my body.

  “I never forgot her,” he said in a rough voice. “Believe me I tried.”

  My mouth went bone dry. His cowboy hat was gone and his damp hair was slicked back. He looked gorgeous and rough and like every woman’s dream. The sight of him was enough to chase away the chill in the room. The past three years hadn’t changed him that much. It was just the hardness that lined his face and lived in his eyes that was new.

  Gavin grinned and let my hand go, lifting an eyebrow at Cash. “So what you’re saying is—”

  “Not if you value your life, Gavin,” Cash warned, walking past his friend to my side. His body brushed mine as he grabbed a can of food behind me. His smell wrapped around me like an old friend, someone I had missed.

  “Interesting,” Gavin said with a chuckle, looking from me to Cash. “Very interesting.”

  Cash ignored him and pulled a deadly looking knife from his belt. I watched a little wide-eyed as he started prying the can open with the knife.

  “You know we have a can opener?” I said, finding my voice. I nodded at the device I had used to open my can of peaches.

  “Habit,” he said in way of explanation as he sheathed the knife. He opened one drawer then another until he found a fork. I watched, my mouth watering, as he stabbed a pineapple from the can and popped it into his mouth, his attention on the makeshift map on the counter and obviously ignoring me.

  “The horses are long gone by now. That storm probably scared the shit out of them,” he said around a mouthful of pineapple, pointing to the drawn map on the island.

  Gavin shook his head. “You are such a Debbie Downer. They are still there and I’m going after them.”

  “By yourself?” Cash asked, leaning up against the counter near me.

  I reached for another peach, watching out of the corner of my eye as he speared another pineapple chunk too.

  “Yeah,” Gavin answered. His bright blue eyes flicked over to me. “Would you tell your girlfriend to use a damn fork?”

  I paused with the peach against my lips. Cash looked down at me and froze. Peach juice made my fingers wet and my lips feel silky. I licked the drop of liquid off my bottom lip then popped the peach into my mouth. “Sorry. Habit,” I said, repeating Cash’s words.

  He didn’t look amused. He slammed the can of pineapples down on the counter and turned to face me.

  “Who taught you to handle a knife like you did today?” he asked, forgetting about the peaches and just going for the jugular.

  I shrugged, swallowing the peach whole. “I dunno. I had to learn,” I answered, reaching for another peach with my fingers.

  He watched me pick it up and slip it between my lips. “Okay, then what did you steal from those men?”

  I shrugged again. “Some fresh meat. Some bullets,” I said around the peach.

  “Sheez,” Gavin hissed. “Bullets? A man’s lifeblood. No wonder they were gunning for you.”

  “They weren’t gunning for us,” I retorted. “We were just having a dispute. We had it handled.”

  Gavin snorted. “Yeah, looked like you did. How’s your stomach by the way? Wait, don’t tell me. Sore.”

  I gritted my teeth, fighting the urge not to throttle Cash’s friend. “I’m just fine,” I responded. “Just hunky-dory.”

  Gavin smirked. “Glad to hear that. Oh, and you’re welcome by the way for saving you.”

  I felt my ears grow red with anger. “You saved us by killing a bunch of men!”

&nbs
p; “We were in trouble, sis,” Tate interjected quietly.

  I glared at him, angry that he was taking their side. Was everyone against me today?

  Cash took a step closer to me, gaining my attention. “This is war, Cat. I would kill again to save you,” he said in a soft, but tight voice. “I would kill again to save all of you. Remember that the next time you do something reckless.”

  I stiffened. “Reckless? What did we do that was so reckless?”

  “How many bullets did you get?” he asked, taking a step close. “Everything the men had? That’s reckless, Cat. Don’t do it again.”

  I squirmed. He was too close. His body heat was warming me too much. As he pierced me with those gray eyes of his, I felt threatened. Tempted. Sorely in need of something from him. My hands ached to touch him. To glide along his body and touch the parts of him that made me quake. The area between my legs ached, wanting to be satisfied and ravaged. The feeling frightened me. I was supposed to be over him.

  I reached for another peach, needing to do something with my hands and keep them off the very male specimen in front of me. This time I decided to be good. I used his abandoned fork and stabbed the peach as I answered him. “We only got a round or two of bullets. They’re in Keely’s pockets. We had to dump the others when they started chasing us.”

  Cash glanced over his shoulder at his sister before turning his gaze back on me. Fire and brimstone blazed in his eyes. He towered over me like the big, bad man that I was finding out he had become.

  “You’re a real piece of work, Cat,” he said in a low whisper that only I could hear. “You put my sister at risk and you sit here and eat those damn peaches knowing full well what effect it has on a man. Time hasn’t changed you one bit.”

  I looked down at the fork in my hand. Unexpected hurt shot through me. I suddenly lost my appetite. My throat closed up. I wasn’t the same girl anymore. He didn’t know anything about me. He didn’t know what I had done or went through. He didn’t know how it affected or changed me.

  He didn’t know that I would never put his sister at risk if I could help it, and that I couldn’t handle losing someone else I loved. He knew nothing except what I once was. What I had done and said to him years ago.

  I carefully put the can on the counter, avoiding his eyes and everyone else’s. Without a word, I turned and walked out of the kitchen.

  I heard Tate blow up in anger and Gavin saying that Cash was being an ass. I heard the sound of Keely’s notebook as she turned a page and scribbled something. But the very last thing I heard was Cash’s deep voice.

  “Change of plans, Gavin. I need some air. I’m going for the horses.”

  ~~~~

  I heard a zipper and heavy breathing. My fingernails dug into the hardwood floor until blood oozed out underneath them. A tight fist twisted my braid and jerked my head up, causing pain to radiate up my neck and into my scalp.

  “Ready, little bird.”

  I shot upright, breathing harshly. My lungs drew in great gulps of air. Despite the chill, beads of sweat popped out along my hairline.

  “It was only a dream. Only a dream,” I whispered to myself, pushing strands of hair away from my face with a shaky hand.

  “Nightmare?” a deep voice asked.

  I jumped and twisted around. Moonlight spilled in through the window but it wasn’t enough to light up the room. I could only see the outline of Cash. He was just a shadow lounging in a chair, his feet spread wide, his hands resting on the arms.

  “How long have you been there?” I asked, whispering loudly as my chest rose and fell.

  “Long enough.”

  I faced the window again and drew the blanket up around my shoulders. “You always had a way with words, Cash.”

  “And you always had a way with men, Cat. Gavin won’t stop asking questions about you.”

  I rolled my eyes and drew my knees up to my chest, hugging them. “I think you have it wrong. He was by Keely’s side the whole time you were gone.”

  Cash didn’t say anything. I wondered if he had even heard me. When he left to get his horses, I had fallen asleep in the living room. I didn’t mean to. Sleep was something I didn’t do much of thanks to the nightmares that wouldn’t leave me alone.

  I rested my chin on my knees and stared out the rain-splattered window. The rain had let up. Now it was just a soft patter on the windowpanes.

  I could feel Cash watching me. Studying me.

  “Come here, Cat.”

  My body purred, just hearing him say my name, but I couldn’t give into it. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, cowboy.”

  “I don’t know. Might be the best damn idea I’ve had all year.”

  I blushed. Me. Three years ago I would have been in his lap in a split second. Now I turned beet red like a schoolgirl and stayed in place.

  “Cash, I’m not the same…” I whispered, shaking my head.

  “I just want to talk,” he said, stopping me.

  I turned around slowly, chewing on my bottom lip. It was a terrible habit I had picked up to deal with situations I couldn’t control.

  And Cash had always been one situation I couldn’t get a handle on.

  I climbed to my feet and padded across the room, keeping the blanket around my shoulders. The temperature had dropped during the night and we were low on blankets. I still missed the warmth of hot air as it blasted me from a vent, but missing was all I could do. There was still no electricity this far south. We had heard that parts of the north were getting power back but as for us, we were still in the dark.

  Cash watched me approach. His eyes never left me, even when I sat down on the couch by his chair. The leather was cold against my thin jeans. I snuggled deeper under the blanket, not quite ready to meet his gaze. We were essentially alone, everyone upstairs sleeping. I wondered if Cash was on watch or just here watching me. Knowing we were alone in the dark made sitting here with him intimate. I felt stripped bare, everything laid out for him to see. And that scared me.

  “Tell me where you’ve been,” Cash said in a low voice, just a whisper in the dark.

  I lifted my eyes. Gray ones met my gaze.

  “We’ve been in Austin,” I said simply.

  Cash didn’t move. He was like a statue in the chair, his hands gripping the arms with relaxed fingers.

  “Austin? We heard it was a hellhole. How did two girls and a kid survive?”

  I shrugged, causing one corner of the blanket to fall off my shoulder. Cash watched as I pulled it back up, his eyes lingering on the hollow in my neck.

  “I don’t know. We just survived,” I answered, picking at a loose thread in the blanket. “We tried to make it home a few times over the years but always ran into trouble.”

  Cash’s eyes moved over my face, touching on my lips before returning to my gaze. “What are you doing out here in the suburbs?”

  I sighed and dropped the thread, feeling like a witness on the stand. “We got tired of having to fight for every little scrap of food we could find and we got tried of fighting the crazy people in the city. We decided to take our chances elsewhere.”

  Cash didn’t move one muscle. “So why won’t Keely talk? Did something happen to her?”

  I dropped my eyes and found a new thread to pull at, anything to keep from looking at him.

  He leaned forward, bringing him closer to me. Much closer. “Tell me, Cat.”

  It took me a second to answer. “I can’t,” I whispered, keeping my eyes downcast.

  His hand shot out and grabbed my wrist. I snapped my gaze up to his with anger. “Don’t touch me, Cash.”

  He tightened his fingers on me. “Tell me or I’ll touch you a hell of a lot more,” he warned.

  Fire burned where his fingers touched me. It traveled along my body, igniting the old me I thought was dead.

  “Then I’ll keep my mouth shut,” I said with a smart-ass smile, meeting his cold eyes with my own. “You know, since time hasn’t changed me.”

  Cash
grinned but it held no humor. “You always had a smart mouth, princess.”

  I returned his smile with a sarcastic one of my own. “You know it, cowboy.”

  His jaw clenched and his eyes flared.

  “Fuck,” he hissed. “I’ve missed you.”

  I didn’t even have time to blink before he yanked me off the couch and lifted me into his lap. I landed against him with a huff, my hands automatically going to his chest.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I asked in a loud whisper, pushing away from him and trying to crawl off his body.

  His hand slapped down on my leg, keeping me in his lap. “Getting my answer.”

  His hand plunged under my hair and his lips met mine with desperation. They bruised mine. Took mine. Ravished me with hunger.

  He said he missed me and god, I missed him too. That one night with him had replayed in my mind again and again. We might have been a mistake but it was a mistake worth repeating.

  His fingers tightened in my hair as he kissed me hard. We suddenly couldn’t get enough of each other. We became wild, two animals that only wanted one thing. He pushed my hoodie up, leaving my mouth only long enough to pull it over my head. His lips were back on mine in seconds, throwing the hoodie down to the floor.

  “I’ve dreamed of you every night,” he whispered around a kiss. “Tell me I’m not dreaming anymore.”

  I ran my hand down his chest to the top of his jeans. “Well, cowboy, sometimes dreams really do come true.”

  He groaned when I ripped his zipper down.

  Before I could reach inside, he dragged his mouth from mine. His voice was harsh, needy, sexy and demanding.

  “Stand up,” he growled, running a hand up over my ribcage to cup my naked breast.

  I crawled off him quickly and stood up between his bent knees.

  He unzipped my jeans and shoved them and my panties down swiftly, no gentleness in his touch. As soon as they were gone, his mouth went to my hip.

  I hissed. Hot, wet lips tasted my skin. His fingers slid across my abdomen and down between my legs.

  I held my breath, praying he would touch me, but he pulled me back down on top of him instead. His hand went under my hair, holding my nape tightly as he kissed me like a starving man.