by Sierra Hill
His head whips back, as if he’s been stung, his mouth in a tight grimace. “I thought you guys were done, dude. I didn’t know she was still in the picture…after what she pulled.”
“Yeah, it’s not that. It’s just…you know, I’m a little gun shy now because of that shit. And I’m not being fair to this other girl, who I really like.”
Cade nods, his support evident, even though I’m only telling him half of the story.
“I feel ya, dude. I get it. It’s like the past has a way of fucking things up for us when we finally meet the right one. But if you’re into her enough, you gotta give it a chance. Show your cards. Be honest with her and let her know how you really feel. That’s the only way.” He leans over conspiratorially and whispers. “And let me tell ya…girls love it when you spill your guts and wax poetic. You won’t be sorry and either will your dick.”
He thumps me on the back a few times before standing up, lending me his hand to help pull me up, too.
“Hey, by the way, man. It’s the twins’ birthday today. We’re having a few drinks over at our place. You’re welcome to come over and hang out. I’m sure Ky would love to see you again.”
I nearly choke on my response. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t.
How did I get myself into this mess? Shit, if I do by some miracle get Kylah to forgive me and give me another chance, it’ll be like passing through Hell’s gates when I bring it up with Cade. He’s going to be one sorry mother fucker when he realizes the advice he gave me was about his sister and not some random chick.
Throwing the soiled towel into the bin as I pass through the locker room door, glancing over my shoulder at Cade. “Yeah, maybe I’ll stop by. Should I bring her a present?”
Cade snorts. “Nah, man…’cause if you bring one present, you have to bring one for the other. And Kady’s a picky woman. There’s never any pleasing that girl!”
I make a sad attempt at laughter, but my mind fast forwards to the next time I see Kylah. I pray she is as mild-mannered and forgiving as I think she is. Otherwise, I’ll be in the doghouse for a long time to come.
I don’t arrive empty-handed. I brought a twelve pack of beer for the guys and two bouquets of flowers for Kady and Kylah.
In one of our many conversations over the last few months, Kylah had mentioned that she’d never received any floral delivery or arrangement from anyone outside her family. So I decided to go big or go home.
I bought a huge bouquet of rainbow colored roses and a big Happy Birthday balloon for Kylah. For her sister, I got a much smaller and friendlier bouquet of bright pink and purple gerbera daisies. I don’t want to look weird coming in with a gigantic arrangement for a girl I didn’t even know. This will already earn me a bunch of side-eye glances from the boys. But fuck it. I have to grovel, so this is a start.
I inhale deeply and blow it out as I open the front door of the apartment. I’ve been to their place more times than I can count, but this is the first time I’ve ever been anxious walking through the door. The nerves over seeing Kylah, and the possibility of getting my head taken off for not contacting her back, have me literally shaking in my shoes.
Stepping across the threshold, I hear shouts and laughter coming from every part of the room. Lance and Scott Wagner are over on the couch, munching on some popcorn and arguing over who gets to play the next game against Carver. And he’s sitting on a chair, locking lips with some blondie who’s practically down his throat.
Ainsley’s on Cade’s lap over in a corner chair, and they’re looking at something on her phone and laughing. There’s a few others milling around that I’m familiar with, but don’t know personally, as I turn to the direction of the kitchen. There sitting at the table with her back to me is Kylah. Or at least, I think it’s Kylah, because the look-alike currently staring at me has blue hair and is giving me the stink eye.
Yup. Pretty sure that’s her evil twin sister and she is none too happy with me.
She says something directed at Ky, whose head suddenly whips around toward me. She’s wearing her glasses and an expression I can’t read. I watch her eyes as they glance down at what’s in my hands and then they make their way back to my eyes, where I give her an apologetic smile. I know I’ll have to do way more than that, but I see a start of a shy smile form in the corner of her mouth, before turning away from me.
I slowly make my way into the kitchen and round the table, stepping to the side so I’m facing Kylah. Her cheeks are red – from embarrassment or anger, I’m not sure which. But she doesn’t look at me. Instead, she stabs the piece of cake in front of her with her fork and takes a bite, focusing her eyes down at the table.
“Happy birthday, Kylah.” I need to start somewhere and that’s the best I can come up with. “These are for you.”
I hold them out to her but she doesn’t take them. Doesn’t even glance up.
I shoot a glance over to her sister, who is at the very least acknowledging my existence.
“And these are for you. Happy birthday, Kady. I’m Donavan. Most people call me…” She cuts me off.
“I know who the fuck you are.”
I take a step back, for fear of losing a limb from the icy blade of her voice. Christ, she’s vicious. Kylah mentioned they were opposites. And now I see the difference.
I place the arrangements down in front of each of them, but keep my distance as best as I can. It’s probably comical, with me being six-foot-seven and two-hundred and fifteen pound, afraid of two little nineteen-year-old women. One of them bites, I can guarantee you that much.
“What are you doing here, Van?” This from Kady. Her tone razor sharp. “You’re not welcome at our birthday party.”
Hmm. Okay. How to proceed when the hound of hell is fiercely protecting her sister?
Be humble. That’s what my dad always taught me. So here goes.
“I’m pretty sure you’re right, Kady. If I were Kylah, I wouldn’t want an asshat at my birthday party, either. Because I’m kind of a shit show right now and have obviously been a horrible friend to her lately. I don’t have a great excuse, except that I was dealing with a lot of crap, stuff I’d like to explain to her in private, if she’ll let me. But if not, I came here - invited by Cade, by the way – to apologize to Kylah for my behavior and for letting her down. I didn’t mean to. And I just want her to know that I value our friendship, above everything else, and I would really like a second chance to make things right. If she’ll accept my apology and forgive me.”
My heart pounds a hundred miles an hour and I can just tell my face is getting blotchy and tinted red. This is way tougher than I expected it to be – especially with Kady giving me the death glare.
Laughter and music come blaring in from the other room, but I pay it no attention to it. All my focus – everything I see – is right here in front of me. My eyes don’t veer from Kylah as I reach to grab her hand, bringing it to my mouth.
She jerks her stiff hand back but I hold tight as I place a light kiss on top, allowing my lips to linger there for a split second before placing it back on the table. She lifts her eyes to me which hold pools of tears welling in them.
I don’t want to make a scene. All I want is to get her away from everyone so I can tell her how I feel about her.
“Ky,” I murmur. “Will you come outside me with? Can we go for a walk so we can talk?”
Her eyes dart over to her sister, presumably for direction. I see an imperceptible nod of approval, as Kady stands from the table and picks up her plate. Just before she heads to the kitchen sink, she leans into me and speaks directly into my ear.
“Don’t you dare fuck it up with her. I will hunt you down and have your balls for breakfast. And that’s before my brother gets ahold of you.”
I swallow thickly, blinking once as I flash a quick glance to see if Cade is still there, before I turn back to Kylah. She’s nervously chewing on her lip, which is trembling softly. She gets up from the chair and we both head toward the door. I place my hand
gently on her lower back to guide her out, just as Cade calls out to me. I stop in my tracks. Oh shit. Here we go.
“Hey Van! Glad you made it. Where are you two heading off to?” His smile is wide, but then he tilts his head when he sees Kylah’s expression.
Shit.
And then she does the most incredible thing.
“He has the new Twenty One Pilots song that he wants me to hear. It’s out in his car. We’ll be right back.”
They all just wave us off and we walk out the door, as I let out the longest breath. As soon as we’re out of sight and ear shot, she shoves my hand off her back and stalks toward my car.
“Kylah. Please…you have every right to be mad at me…”
“You’re goddamn right I do.” She turns and stomps back over to me so I’m looking straight down at her. Then she slaps me hard against the chest. It doesn’t hurt and I don’t budge, which makes her angrier.
“Argh! You big ol’ wall of stone!”
I can’t help myself, I have to touch her.
I pick her up, wrapping my arms around her tiny waist, and hold her flush against me. She squirms and kicks at me, getting a few good shots in at my kneecaps - thankfully nothing close to my groin - until she finally loses steam. I inhale her fragrance that seems to have enveloped me when she was flailing around in my arms. I bury my nose in the crook of her neck and just hold her tight, hugging her as if my life depended on it.
One moment I think her body’s gone lax, and then I feel her shaking – her sobs wracking her – wrenching a knife in my gut.
“Why?” she cries out, muffled by a sob. “Why did you do that to me?”
I go with complete honesty. I have nothing left to lose. “I panicked, Ky. I’m a total fucking coward. That’s why.”
Her body jerks with a cross between a sob and a laugh. She pulls away slightly, the lights from the street lamp shining on her, illuminating the tears that dazzle like crystals on her face.
“Why would you be scared? We were friends…I thought we were friends.” Her voice is so tiny. So sad.
A few people mill around us in the parking lot, invading our privacy. I walk toward my car, to the passenger side door, and set her down, opening the door so she can get in. Once we’re situated in the front seat, I resume our conversation.
“Ky, we are friends. But then all of a sudden, we became more. I fought myself the entire way because I didn’t want to mess it up with you. I like you too much. My feelings for you were all over the board. One minute I want to kiss you…to sleep with you…and the next, I’m telling myself that I can’t do it. I can’t get into another relationship this fast.”
She stops me. “I don’t expect a relationship, Van. Honestly. I just…I want you however I can get you.”
I reach for her hand and bring it to my heart.
“You’re not a hook-up, Ky. And we’re not meant to be friends with benefits. We’d be fooling ourselves to think there’s not more here…because I feel it. I think about you every second of the day. I can’t get you out of my head. But I’m also still so messed up from what happened with Lyndsay. She texted me on Christmas Eve.”
I glance away, feeling guilty by just admitting it out loud.
“She did? What happened?”
“Nothing. I promise. It was late, just before bed when I read her text. She said she broke up with Cody. That she made a mistake. She wanted to see me to explain. To apologize.”
Kylah drops her head and sighs. “Oh. I see.”
My hands shake as I place them over her cheeks, drawing her face into mine so our foreheads touch.
“No, you don’t see.” My eyes search hers in a plea as I pull back, dropping my hands. She’s still here with me, so that’s a good thing. She wears her emotions across her face, so I know her anger has dissipated and now she just looks worried. Resigned. I’ve got to change that.
“Kylah, Lyndsay and I are over. My feelings toward her are nothing more than sympathy at this point. She clearly fucked things up with her life. And mine. But honestly, it made me realize that I had been trying to hold on to something that was no longer there. I made it work with her all this time because I couldn’t let go…I was scared of the unknown. Of what I would be without her. She was the only one who really knew me deep down inside. Who I was. But the distance, her changing attitude – your presence in my life – helped me to see that things weren’t healthy anymore.”
I close my eyes, breathing through my nose as I settle back into the driver’s seat. I’d had a lot of time to think about how I would explain this to Kylah, but it is still difficult to get it all out.
“You came into my life at the right time, Ky.” I reach for her hand and loop my fingers through hers. “I needed you more than you could possibly imagine. Your friendship. Your positivity. Your support. Everything. And if you let me, I will work to prove myself to you. I’ve missed talking to you these past few days and I was a fool for shutting you out. I’m so sorry. If you can forgive me, I’ll promise I’ll never do that again.”
Kylah sighs and her head bends forward as if in prayer. Maybe she’s praying I’ll leave her alone and never see her again. Fat chance. If she doesn’t forgive me tonight, I’ll continue asking for it. I won’t stop until I can make it right.
“Van,” she whispers, and I can hear it in her voice. I’ve broken through. I think my heart skips a beat.
Placing my finger underneath her chin, I tilt her head up so I can see into her eyes. They gleam with unshed tears that she’s been holding back.
“I don’t want to be a rebound. And I don’t just want to be your friend. I’m not sure what I want, because things will be complicated. Rushing into anything would be a really big mistake, I know that. But God, I’ve missed you, too. I’ve been miserable not talking to you. Both Kady and Cade warned me not to call you…to wait until you reached out to me, but it was so hard.”
My body stiffens as soon as she mentions her brother. “Wait, your brother knows about us?” Jesus, I’m surprised he even let me into his apartment. Or hasn’t beaten me to a pulp yet.
Kylah offers a small giggle at my outburst. “Heck no. He has no clue it’s you that has me tied up in knots. But he might catch on soon if we don’t head back inside and rejoin the party.”
I nod my head in agreement. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” I reach out to place my hand on her cheek as she leans into my palm, a small smile forming across her lips.
“It’ll be hell not to be able to touch you in front of everyone. To keep my distance. I’m dying to kiss you right now, Ky.” My thumb strums across her jawline, stroking her softly. “Can I kiss you?”
“Mm-hmm.”
I grin at her. “Thank God.”
Slowly, with purpose, I lean forward, cupping her face in both hands, and place my lips across hers. Kylah’s breath fans across my mouth, smelling sugary sweet from the icing on her cake. In this moment, she’s the icing on my cake. And I devour her.
Although it starts off gently, our kiss turns heated within seconds. My tongue plunges into her mouth as I swallow her gasps and moans – which make me so fucking hard – as I suckle at her wet tongue. I’m not going to win any awards for finesse right now because I’m too wound up. I kiss, suck and lick everything my mouth can connect with – as I move my lips to her neck, puncturing tiny, wild bites under her ear.
Her hands feather their way into my hair, sifting through it before tugging tight. I groan against her skin. This is heaven. I’m not sure I can control myself for much longer and I’m certainly not going to take her in the backseat of my car while her brother or any number of friends could come out and see us at any moment.
While I’d love to throw caution to the wind, I come to my senses and pull back, ignoring my throbbing dick down below. It’s screaming for more action, but it’ll have to do without for now. Kylah’s breath hitches, one of the sexiest, neediest sounds I’ve ever heard. I want nothing more than to dive back into those lips and find my way bet
ween her legs.
“We can’t…not here.” I glance around to our surroundings. It’s dark and the only light is coming from the windows of the apartment complex, but it’s enough to illuminate the interior of my car and anyone could walk by and see us.
She sags back into the car seat. “You’re right. I know.”
It kills me to let her down like this, especially on her birthday. I want to make her feel special. Give her a night to remember.
“We could...um, go back to my place.” I’m hesitant to throw that out there because I don’t want her to think that’s the only reason I came here tonight. Although, fuck. I’d love for nothing more than to make her come right now with my tongue.
Shit. That is not helping my boner situation at all.
Kylah’s mouth opens, like she’s forming the words but they can’t eject, and then it snaps shut. Fuck, I already crossed the line again. Now she does think that’s all I want from her is sex. Which okay, sex is on my mind right now. Just ask boner down there.
“Sorry, that was dumb. Forget I asked.”
She reaches to grab for my hand. “No…Van. Trust me, I want to go…but, um, I don’t want my brother getting suspicious. If I took off with you right now, his radar would go off and it could get ugly. But tomorrow night…” She turns her head to look out the passenger window, embarrassed by what she’s about to say.
Her resolve must kick in then as she turns back to give me a sheepish smile. “I’d still love for you to come with me to the concert. I’ll tell my mom I’m staying at Cade’s afterwards. I can…um, stay over at your place then.”
Oh, sweet baby Jesus. Just thinking about her sleeping in my bed…or not sleeping, rather…has me about to blow my load in my pants like a horny teenager.
I nod my head, incapable of speaking at the moment.
She gives me her signature Kylah smile, her eyes glistening in the dim light, as she leans over to kiss my cheek.
“Good. It’s a date.”