Secrets of the World's Worst Matchmaker

by Piper Rayne

  I inwardly cringe as I twirl my fork around the pasta.

  “Yeah, I’m just the loser sister,” Juno says.

  Jason says nothing, finally eating his salad.

  “Oh, I didn’t mean it—”

  “I know. It’s fine. Sorry. I’m not being very good company tonight.” Juno twirls her own fork.

  I’m hoping Rome’s pesto will help boost Juno’s mood. I’ve witnessed her mood change with a slice of pizza or a handful of fries.

  Brigette shoots me an apologetic look and I shake my head.

  “You guys were right. This is so good.” Jason’s fork is full of noodles as he’s still chewing. “How have I never had this before?”

  “Don’t think you can get it just anywhere either,” Brigette says. “We tried that place in Anchorage, remember, Colton?” Her nose crinkles and she shakes her head.

  I catch Juno rolling her eyes. Rome’s pasta isn’t doing the trick.

  “Um.” Jason clears his throat. “Is this…” He clears his throat again. “There aren’t nuts in this dish, right?” He points at the dish before grabbing his throat.

  “Pine nuts,” Brigette says, apparently more familiar with what goes into the dish than I am.

  Juno’s eyes widen. “You’re allergic?” Her chair scrapes along the concrete.

  All the tables around us turn their attention to ours.

  “We need a doctor,” Brigette says.

  “Do you have an EpiPen on you?” Juno asks Jason, whose face is growing red and swollen and is fumbling with his hand in his pocket.

  Jason nods his head. Juno’s eyes widen, silently asking me what to do.

  “Grab it and stab him in the leg with it then let’s get to the hospital,” I say, pulling my keys out of my pocket. What kind of idiot doesn’t tell the restaurant they have an allergy?

  Jason pulls his EpiPen from his pocket and manages to stab himself in the thigh with it. We all run, Juno screaming to Harley about the bill. Jason slides into the back seat of the truck and Juno sits in the passenger seat, leaving Brigette standing by the door.

  “Right. Sorry.” Juno climbs down and into the back seat with Jason.

  Our eyes lock through the rearview mirror briefly. I guess I never did realize how different things would be.

  Ten

  Juno

  * * *

  “You guys should go,” I say to Brigette as we wait for Colton, who went down to the vending area to grab drinks and snacks. We’ve been here for hours already.

  Since I’m not immediate family, I have no idea how Jason’s doing.

  Talk about an epic fail of a date. First, I’m fairly sure he wished he was on a date with Brigette, then he has an allergic reaction and ends up looking like Will Smith in that movie Hitch.

  “No.” Brigette crosses her legs. She smiles at me from her magazine. “We’re all in this together.”

  I sit in a chair, pick up a magazine, then realize it’s Sports Illustrated, so I toss it back onto the table. The only other person in the waiting room is an elderly man calmly reading a book in the corner. I don’t recognize him. I wonder if he’s from Lake Starlight?

  “Can I ask you a question?” Brigette shuts her magazine.

  “Sure.”

  “Is that why you’ve been cold to me? Because you don’t think I’m good enough for Colton?”

  Oh shit, I cannot have this conversation right now. “No, I’m sorry. It’s just been a lot with all my sisters having their babies.”

  “So you don’t, like, have a thing for Colton? The two of you have never…”

  Oh my God. We’re going there? Right now? This day just keeps giving and giving.

  “I’ve known Colton a long time and I can’t lie and say things haven’t happened between us before, but if we were meant to be together, we’d be together. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

  A part of me wants to tell her the truth. That I convinced myself of the lie for so long that I didn’t realize until she came along that I do want Colton. But I won’t do that. I won’t make trouble for Colton. I want him to be happy, and eventually, I’ll accept that means that he’s not with me.

  “Okay. Well, if you’re this close of friends, you should do something at the wedding.”

  “Um… no, that’s okay.”

  She sits up straighter as if she’s had an epiphany. “Yes. Could you read something? Colton wants it to be a super small ceremony and with my family not coming, we’re not having anyone stand up for us, otherwise I’d just have you as a bridesmaid.” I cough past the bile in my throat as she adds, “I already have almost everything arranged, but if you want to do a reading, let me know.”

  “That’s okay. I’m not very comfortable talking in front of people.”

  She nods as if she really does understand. “Oh! We’re taking dance lessons next week. Why don’t you and Jason come? We can do a double date. I’ve been dying to meet some other couples.”

  I smile tentatively. “This was our first date and it ended with him in the emergency room. I’m pretty sure there won’t be a second.”

  “Oh, I could tell he liked you.” She smiles.

  I think you’re projecting, Brigette. “Yeah, I’m not sure.”

  “Come on. Colton keeps whining about going and maybe if you go, he’ll be more into it.”

  “I doubt I’d make a difference.” I pick up a magazine again and give it my full attention.

  “Please,” she says. “I really want to get to know you since you obviously mean a lot to Colton.”

  “We could just do lunch or something. Maybe just me and you?”

  Bite your tongue, Juno. What the hell are you thinking? I’m thinking that the last thing I want to witness is her and Colton dancing. All I can envision is the movie Dirty Dancing. Which brings to the surface memories of how I made Colton practice that lift in the lake behind my house the entire summer when we were twelve.

  “I’m not taking no for an answer. It will be fun. Give me your number,” she says, phone poised in her hands.

  Colton walks in with an armful of drinks and snacks. I widen my eyes at him, hoping he can distract his fiancée from wanting to become besties.

  “What’s going on?” He drops everything on the table.

  “Brigette wants my number, and she’d like Jason and I to go to your dance class next week,” I say sweetly but hope that Colton catches on.

  “We almost killed the guy. I doubt he’ll want to go to a dance class with us.”

  Thank you, Colton.

  She drops her phone, and the anxiety creeping up my spine dissipates.

  “Well, we’ll ask him.” She leans forward, snagging my phone off the table. Brigette laughs and soon her phone dings. “Got your number now.”

  “Oh, you sneak you,” I say, shooting a death glare at Colton. I’m putting a lock on my phone as soon as I leave here.

  He raises his hands behind Brigette as though he has no control over her.

  “Now we can plan that lunch and you can do the dance class with us.”

  I snag a bag of chips off the table. “Yay!”

  I poorly feign excitement, but either Brigette doesn’t care or she’s oblivious. From what I’ve witnessed in the past, she’s pretty smart, so I’m going with the former.

  I’m just starting to nod off hours later when Jason walks into the waiting room. His shirt is untucked and wrinkled, and his hair is up in every direction.

  Brigette stands before I get a chance. “Oh, Jason, how are you?”

  Colton and I stand in unison and join them.

  “Better now. Thanks.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I guess I can’t eat pesto.”

  Brigette laughs but stops when Jason doesn’t.

  “I’m really sorry,” I say.

  “It wasn’t your fault. Mind if we head back to my car? I’m exhausted after all the medicine.”

  “Yeah, for sure. Do you want to leave your car at my place? I’m sure Colton could driv
e you back home,” I say.

  “To Greywall?” Colton says, and I smack his arm. “Sure. Yeah. No problem.”

  “That’d actually be great. I’m barely standing now. The stuff they give me makes me tired and jittery all at once. I’ll grab an Uber in the morning for my car.”

  “Nonsense, we’ll pick you up,” Brigette cuts in.

  Colton and I look at one another.

  “I think we need a do-over,” she says. “We can do breakfast.”

  “Um… I have a family dinner tomorrow.” I raise my hand.

  Brigette turns around. “I said breakfast.”

  Colton blows out a big breath. “Let’s just get going. We can talk about it on the way.”

  Jason turns, and we file out of the waiting room as the older man winks at me. I stop momentarily, but he only smiles. I smile back and walk out of the room.

  It’s quiet and dark on the ride to Jason’s. He’s leaning his head against the window and Brigette’s head is buried in her phone, the screen the only light in otherwise dark surroundings.

  Colton’s gaze keeps shifting from the road to the rearview mirror. He pulls to a stop at a light and the song “Like I Loved You” by Brett Young comes on the radio. My eyes lock with his in the mirror. The sadness I see in his cracks my heart open, but I’m not the one who’s engaged to be married.

  I tear my gaze away, and thankfully the green light shines through the windshield. Colton presses on the gas, the GPS interrupting the song to give directions to Jason’s house.

  When Colton’s truck rolls to a stop in front of a small two-story in downtown Greywall, I’m not surprised. He’s so put-together, of course he’s got a nice house with a perfectly manicured yard and white fence that’s there more for aesthetics than anything. There’s probably a golden retriever that was the star pupil in its obedience training class nestled in his designated dog bed inside too.

  “Thanks a lot,” Jason says, opening the door.

  I slide out of the truck to help him up to his house. He opens the small gate, and we walk up the sidewalk to his front door.

  “I’m sorry again,” I say.

  “It’s okay, Juno. It wasn’t your fault. I’m just exhausted. Can I call you tomorrow?”

  “Are you sure you want to?” I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. One brother shut the door in his face, and another almost killed him.

  “Yeah.” He glances at the truck. “I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll figure out a date.”

  I nod and rise up on the balls of my feet to hug him—which should make me feel better because this has been the worst date I’ve ever been on and nothing horrible even happened to me. He hugs me back then puts the key into the lock.

  I fall back down to my heels, quickly turning to the sidewalk. “Have a great night.”

  “You too.”

  I walk toward Colton’s truck, silently lecturing myself to get my shit together. Colton is getting married whether I like it or not. I shouldn’t let a good guy like Jason slip through my fingers. I need to stop wallowing. My business is in the red and I need it back in the black. So what if Kingston thinks speed dating is eighties? It’ll get me business.

  Without warning, my legs get taken out from under me and I fly up in the air before landing on Jason’s lawn.

  “Juno!” Colton jumps out of the truck.

  “Rufus!” Jason shouts, but it’s too late—I’m being licked by a hundred-pound dog on top of me. “I’m sorry,” he says.

  “You should get him trained.” Colton grabs the dog’s collar and pulls him off me so I can stand.

  Jason’s takes the dog from Colton. “He is trained. He must like you.” Jason smiles at me.

  I roll onto my knees and pet Rufus, who keeps trying to climb me like a fire hydrant. I guess I had it wrong—Rufus wasn’t the star pupil of his class.

  “I’ll give you a number for a better dog trainer.” The angry edge to Colton’s voice is unnecessary. I’m fine.

  Brigette rolls down the window. “Everything okay?”

  I stand and brush off my butt. “We’re good. Let’s go. See you another time, Rufus.” I pet his head before walking to the sidewalk.

  Colton puts his arm around me to help me as if I have injuries from the fall. I don’t say anything until my eyes land on Brigette’s. Her vision is focused solely on where Colton’s hand is on my hip.

  “I’m good, Colt, just knocked the wind out of me.” I slide out from his hold and he opens up the truck door for me.

  I climb in and he shuts the door, treating me as he always has, which I’m just now realizing is a lot like a girlfriend. We need to figure out this new normal between us.

  Twenty minutes later, after a ride in a deadly silent truck, I’m dropped off at my house. I say goodbye, leaving them to do what people in love do. I guess I’ll be digging into my bottom drawer again to please myself.

  I open the apartment door and find Kingston still in his shorts and T-shirt, playing his damn video game. He takes a quick glance over at me.

  “I thought for sure you wouldn’t be home tonight…” His words trail off before he talks into the headset, flicking the buttons on the controller. “Damn it, Lou, cover me.”

  I go to the fridge and grab a beer and a slice of pizza that Kingston must have ordered tonight.

  “Shit. I died. You’re bad luck. Every time you walk into the room, I die.” He tosses his headset and controller on the couch. “How much do you love me?”

  I sit in the chair by the couch. “Enough that I won’t tell anyone you willingly stayed home on a Saturday night by yourself.”

  “I have this friend at a bar in Anchorage. I called, and he said as long as it’s during the week, you’re golden. He’s got a room in the back that can be sectioned off. And because you have an awesome brother, no charge. You can do your speed dating there, but I really think it should be blind speed dating.”

  My eyes widen. “Shut up, really?”

  “How much do you love me now?” he asks with a grin.

  “You’re my favorite brother.”

  “Haven’t I always been?”

  I laugh. “Yeah. Of course.” I hand him my beer since I haven’t had any yet and go to get another one from the kitchen.

  This is a lifesaver. For the first time in weeks, my body loses some of the tension it’s been carrying around.

  “Hey, King,” I call.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  He’s silent for a moment. “That’s what family’s for.”

  I nod, my eyes watering. At least one thing tonight is heading in the right direction.

  Eleven

  Colton

  * * *

  When I arrive at the clinic on Monday, Brigette is sitting in the break room with her coffee, looking through her phone. She’s been quiet this weekend, but I’m ignoring it rather than poking the bear.

  “Good morning,” I say.

  “Good morning.” She doesn’t look up. “Dr. Murphy was looking for you earlier.”

  “Thanks.” I change into my white coat and shut my locker. I’m about to leave the room, but I stop and put my hand on her shoulder. “You okay?”

  She smiles at me and nods. “Yeah, why?”

  “You’ve been quiet. Is it the wedding stress?”

  She shakes her head. “No. You good?”

  It’s odd that she’s asking me, but I smack on my smile. “Yeah.”

  We both nod as if we’re the most agreeable people on the planet and I head toward Dr. Murphy’s office. His door is open, and Lori is sitting in the chair in front of him. She’s leaning forward and whispering, a telltale sign that she’s gossiping. Great.

  “I took a screenshot,” she says, giving her phone to Dr. Murphy.

  He looks at it, shakes his head, and hands it back to her.

  I knock on the open door and they both look at me. Lori’s cherry-red cheeks say I’m the subject of said gossip. It wouldn’t take Einstein to figure out
that I must’ve been in Buzz Wheel last night.

  That damn thing. I didn’t check it on Saturday night nor last night, but I’m guessing from Dr. Murphy’s concerned glare, I should have.

  “Come in, Colton.” Dr. Murphy waves me in.

  He’s only here three days a week now, and last year he discussed with me about investing in the business until I could buy him out completely. But I know a little birdie named Lori keeps whispering in his ear that I’m too young and the clients don’t listen to me like they do him.

  “Let me guess, I made Buzz Wheel?” I say just so Lori knows she doesn’t need to go behind my back.

  “You didn’t see it?” She smiles sweetly at me. “That blog should be shut down. You can’t even trust the information.”

  “Yet you take screenshots,” I deadpan.

  Her friendly demeanor fades. “I just think that Dick should know what’s going on with his employees.”

  My gaze shoots to Dr. Murphy, and he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Lori, please give us a minute.”

  “Sure, I need to redo a file that got coffee spilled on it yesterday anyway.” She stands and shoots me an accusatory glare.

  I don’t say so, but it was Brigette who spilled the coffee.

  “I’m sure you wouldn’t mind forwarding that Buzz Wheel to me?” I ask.

  Her hand pauses on the door, but she doesn’t turn around. “Of course, as soon as I get to my desk.”

  “Thanks.”

  She finally leaves and Dr. Murphy asks her to shut the door behind her, which means this is more serious than I thought.

  “Colton, have a seat.” He gestures, and I sit in the chair in front of his desk. I have an office, but mine doesn’t have a window like his. I’ve mentally arranged my own furniture in this office many times. “I’m going to shoot straight, and I’d like you to be straight with me on a few things.”

  “Okay.”

  “I always thought of you as a Lake Starlight lifer. I started this practice five years after working in Anchorage for another veterinarian. You see the pictures on the wall. This place was small at first. One room, and now we have four rooms. It’s not only Lake Starlight I see, but all the neighboring communities.”