Secrets of the World's Worst Matchmaker

by Piper Rayne

  “Really? Because I kind of wonder if you’re not doing it to get Juno jealous.”

  I place the folder on the table and stand, needing to exert some energy by pacing before I tell her again that my relationship with Juno is none of her business.

  Sure, maybe making Juno jealous is part of it, but I won’t tell Brigette that. At first, I was so pissed with Juno when Brigette asked me if I would want to marry her that I agreed on impulse. Then once the reality of what it would mean set in, proposing to Brigette seemed like a good way to force myself to get on with my life. Get over the one woman it seems I can never have. I’ve grown tired of pining away after something that’s never going to happen. I needed something more than just my willpower to snap me out of it. This seemed like it would do the trick.

  “I’m doing this as a favor to you, so now I’m asking you, as a favor to me, to tell Dr. Murphy that you see your future here in Lake Starlight.”

  “I’m not sure I feel comfortable now.”

  “Then no marriage. No green card.”

  She whips around. “I trust you with so much, why wouldn’t you tell me about her?”

  This entire town thinks I’m madly in love with Juno—and they’re right. I am. But Juno’s not in love with me and I’m done with the pitying looks. I tried to push her out of her comfort zone. Tried to assure her I’d never leave her again like I did when I left for college. But she doesn’t believe we’re worth the risk.

  Then again, maybe I’m mad because I rashly went into this decision with Brigette. I was upset, and that’s why I asked Juno to match me with someone. I didn’t know Brigette was trying to be matched with someone in the hopes of getting her green card since her student visa would be ending. Neither did Juno. She thought Brigette was a twenty-something looking for love.

  “I didn’t think it was need-to-know information. I don’t know anything about you other than what I have to. Questions we’ll be asked, that’s the information we know about one another. Our favorites, our family, our friends.”

  “And Juno is your friend.” She raises her arms to dust the top shelf of the bookcase and I spot a bandage under her left breast on her upper ribcage.

  “Did you hurt yourself?”

  She looks down, falls back to her heels, and the guilty look on her face says there’s more to that bandage. “I got a tattoo.”

  “Where at?”

  “There’s only one tattoo parlor in this small town. Where do you think?”

  “By whom?” Because I think I already know by whom—the man who keeps bringing in his new puppy for stupid reasons.

  “Rhys,” she says with a shrug.

  “So maybe I’m not the only one who has eyes for someone else.”

  “Do you honestly think I would jeopardize this for a fling?” She puts her hands on her hips and squares her eyes on me.

  She has much more to lose, except I really don’t want to go to jail for this. After I made the decision and filed the first round of paperwork, I figured a three year commitment to her wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. It’d give me plenty of time to force myself to get some distance from Juno and get over her, move on with my life and accept that Juno would not play a romantic role in it.

  My phone dings in my pocket, but I ignore it.

  “I have the prenup.” I pick up the folder. “I had my lawyer put a clause in there about Four Paws should Dr. Murphy sell it to me. I’ll own that by myself, and we’ll each leave this marriage with what we had coming into it.”

  She nods. We were clear that when this is over, we go our separate ways, but I wanted a fail-safe just in case.

  When she disappears into the kitchen, I open the folder and see our names there on the paperwork. Sometimes I wonder how I got myself into this position. But there’s no sense looking back. I’m in it and I’m a man of my word, so regardless, I’ll be marrying Brigette next week.

  She returns with a pen and scrolls her name across the lines that are flagged for her signature.

  I close the folder and leave her apartment, pulling my phone out of my pocket.

  Dori Bailey: I need your help. I’m at a bar in Anchorage and Ethel drank too much. Pick us up?

  This has to be a joke. Why would Dori be in Anchorage? Plus, I’ve never seen Ethel drink more than a single glass of wine without complaining about heartburn. But regardless, it seems I’ll be driving to Anchorage.

  Me: Sure. Just send me the address.

  My phone pings with the address of the bar. Great.

  I open the door of Tipsy Turvy, which sounds like somewhere Dori would go to. As soon as my eyes adjust from the sun to darkness, I spot Juno standing there talking to a bartender.

  “Colton?” she asks, her forehead scrunched up.

  “Did Dori call you too? I wish she’d told me before I drove all the way out here.”

  “No. She’s in the back though.” Juno rolls her eyes, finishes talking to the bartender, and ushers me to the back. “Kingston’s big mouth told her I was doing this blind speed dating thing here tonight, and she said she wanted to come. Thought that I needed her and Ethel in case some older men showed up.”

  “She told me Ethel was drunk and she needed a ride home?”

  Juno scoffs. “Neither one of them has had one drink and I drove them here. Unfortunately.”

  I stop her before we go through a door to the back room. “We should talk.”

  She’s shaking her head before I get a chance to continue. “Later, okay? I’m so nervous about tonight and I just need to concentrate on that right now.”

  I can’t fault her for not wanting to hash out our history when she’s working.

  “Maybe we can ride back to Lake Starlight together. Ethel could drive your car?”

  “Um… no, but we could meet up later tonight if you want.”

  “Perfect.”

  We walk through the door, and lo and behold, Dori and Ethel are at a table, playing cards.

  “Grandma, did you tell Colton to come here?”

  “Did I?” She looks at Ethel.

  I raise my phone in my hand. “I have the text.”

  “Oh yes, funny, I thought I was messaging Kingston. You know how he works in Anchorage. Thought he’d be on his way home.”

  “I told you Kingston was coming tonight.” Juno straightens chairs and tables that are lined up with partitions like voting booths. Even when they switch seats, they won’t be able to see one another.

  “Oh, did you? My memory must be going.” Dori taps her temple. “It’s not so good anymore.”

  “I’m the matchmaker. Colton is getting married, remember?” Juno’s voice has an edge to it I’ve never heard directed toward Dori.

  “You are not too old for me to take you over my knee, Juno.” Dori’s stern voice says she’s serious.

  “I would have helped you with all this anyway.” I straighten some of the partitions. “This is ingenious. Where did you get the idea from?”

  “Kingston. Go figure, but it’s pretty cool, I think. It’s a bit of a twist. Hopefully, it will pull some people in.”

  “Definitely.”

  A waitress comes into the room and asks if we need anything, so I order a beer. She nods and walks away.

  “Anyone else coming besides Kingston?”

  Juno bends over to retrieve something from her bag and her ass is in my face. Her ass has been in my face plenty of times, but this time it’s a struggle not to grab her by her hips and pull her into me.

  I have a lot of guilt for not telling Juno why I’m marrying Brigette, but I can’t chance it getting out. No one but Brigette and myself knows this is a green-card-only kind of marriage, and if something leaked, I could be in some serious trouble.

  The waitress returns and places my beer on the table. “You have some women who just came in. Micah is getting them a drink, then they’re on their way back.”

  “Great.” Juno’s eyes get all wide and excited like they do when something she’s been anticipating fi
nally arrives. “Kingston and some of his firefighter buddies are coming tonight too. So at least I’m offering some good-looking guys.”

  I haven’t asked her why she’s doing this. She’s always done strictly matchmaking with a personal touch. But I’m not going to ask her right now in front of everyone.

  “Rummy!” Ethel screams and puts her cards on the table.

  Dori scowls and tosses her cards on the table. “I gotta pee.”

  Dori stands and leaves for the bathroom, Ethel following as if their bladders are in sync.

  A woman pops her head into the room. “Is this where we’re supposed to be?”

  Juno rushes over. “Yes. Yes. Come—” She abruptly stops speaking, making me look over. “Stella?”

  “Kingston’s Stella?” I whisper more to myself as Juno looks over at me.

  But it’s Stella who looks as if she might faint.

  Fifteen

  Juno

  * * *

  Holy shit, as if Colton showing up wasn’t enough of a surprise, Stella Harrison is here.

  In Alaska.

  In Anchorage.

  Not in New York.

  “Stella?” I say.

  She catches her drink before it falls. “Juno?” Her eyes scan the room. “Colton?”

  The last time we saw Stella was at Holly and Austin’s wedding, which seems like ages ago. She and Kingston talked the majority of the night, but after that, nothing that I know of. If he knows she’s back in town, he hasn’t shared it with me.

  “Oh, um, you’re running this?” Stella says. “My friend from work thought it’d be fun.”

  She’s been here long enough to have friends at work?

  Dori and Ethel’s arguing rings out of the hallway as they come out of the bathroom.

  My eyes widen. “Oh my God, hide.”

  Her friend’s attention darts between Stella and me as though she’s asking, “Is this chick serious?” But Stella must hear it in my voice because she disappears behind the partitions and hides in one of the booths I’ve set up.

  “Oh, someone showed up.” Grandma Dori beams as though she’s surprised.

  Thanks for the encouragement, Grandma.

  “Colton’s going to drive you home now.” My eyes widen at Colton, who’s sipping his beer.

  “He’s drinking. I told my son I never drive with someone who’s been drinking,” Ethel says.

  Colton stares at his beer. “I’ve had about two sips.”

  “Drinking is drinking. I don’t know your tolerance. Maybe it’s zero. I’ll drive us.” Ethel puts her hand out to Colton for his keys.

  He stares at her hand then lifts his gaze to me with an expression that suggests I would never make him do such a thing as drive all the way back to Lake Starlight with Ethel behind the wheel of his truck. But I know Grandma, and if she sees Stella here, all hell is gonna break loose. Rumors will spread, and if Stella’s been hiding out in Anchorage, she’s not ready to face what happened all those years ago.

  I always felt close to Stella, what with her only being a few years younger than me. When the guys wanted to start a band, she’d hang around the garage, and she was my bleacher buddy during the baseball games.

  “Just let her drive,” I plead.

  “And your name is?” Dori asks Stella’s friend.

  “Cami.”

  “Well, Cami, this is Juno. She’s my granddaughter and a real matchmaker. It’s been in her mother’s blood for generations, so you should trust her with who you should be matched with tonight.”

  “Grandma, it’s a speed dating thing.” I kiss Grandma Dori on the cheek with the hopes it gets her out of here.

  Colton is still sipping his beer.

  “You took another sip,” Ethel says like a sibling who wants to get their other sibling in trouble.

  “Just let her drive?” I say to him, trying to pull him to the door.

  “But my truck?” he says as if I’m crazy.

  I probably am, but I really need to get Dori out of here and tell Stella to leave before Kingston shows up, otherwise, my entire blind speeding date thing is gonna be a bust and I’m never going to be able to pay my bills. “What harm can it do?”

  “Are you seriously asking me that right now?” Colton says.

  “I need Dori out,” I whisper.

  She’s busy naming off my qualifications to Cami, Stella’s friend.

  “I get it, but it’s my truck, Juno.”

  Ethel watches like a hawk to see if Colton has another sip of beer. I know that the only way they’re leaving is if Colton gives her the keys. Eventually, Colton realizes it too.

  “You so owe me for this, and I mean huge.” Colton stands, downs the rest of his beer, but right before Ethel is about to say something, he drops the keys in her hand. “Bigger than that time you accidentally kneed me in the nuts when we were wrestling.”

  I giggle, remembering how his face turned blue. I felt so bad. I hope he can still have children. I rise up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “I owe you big. Promise. Name it and I’ll deliver.”

  He wraps his arm around my waist and turns his face to me. We’re millimeters apart and my heart pounds.

  “No take-backs,” he says.

  “No take-backs. I promise.”

  Then he kisses my cheek and releases me. Now I’m not so sure I want him to go.

  “Let’s go, Golden Girls,” Colton says. “We will be driving five over the speed limit.”

  “I can’t lose my license, Colton Stone,” Ethel says.

  He winks at me one more time before the three of them leave the room.

  “It’s safe now,” I say to Stella, who peeks up over the partition.

  “Thank you. I do not want to be in Buzz Wheel again.” Stella sips her drink that’s halfway gone now. “So are you and Colton finally together?”

  I shake my head. “No, he’s actually getting married next week.”

  Her eyes widen. “Really?” She looks at her friend. “They were, like, the best friends you always thought would get married.”

  “You’re one to talk. What about my brother?”

  Her friend sips her wine. “Do tell? Stella’s like a vault. I’ve yet to figure out the combination to get her to talk about her life.”

  Stella sips her drink and her eyes plead for me not to say anything.

  My head rears back when I remember who else is supposed to be here tonight. “I forgot! Kingston and his firefighter buddies are coming tonight.”

  This time the drink does fall from Stella’s hands. There’s no time to react because I hear a gaggle of men walking down the hall. I’m guessing they’re firefighter because they’re loud and boisterous, razzing one another about something.

  “Um. Just stay here,” I say.

  This is not what I had planned when I came here.

  Walking out the door of our private room, I shut it behind me and see one of Kingston’s buddies who’s been to the apartment a few times.

  “Juno.” Lou hugs me so my feet lift off the floor. “Kingston said we had to come tonight. Plus, you know I like the ladies.” He sets me back down and winks. “This here is Cory, Shawn, and Jorge.”

  I say hello to them all. “Where’s Kingston?”

  “Oh. He’s running late and then there’s the paperwork, so I wouldn’t expect him.”

  Just as Lou tells me, my phone dings. I pull it out to see it from Kingston.

  Kingston: Sorry, I can’t make it tonight. Next time, I swear. But I sent some guys over for you. ;)

  I can’t be upset with him. Work is work and he’s done more than enough already by arranging this room. The anxiety squeezing my body eases a little.

  “Well, boys, just give me a minute to get all the ladies set up.” I smile and rush back into the private room, shooting Stella a look to say no worries.

  After I get all the women situated at their tables behind the cardboard partitions, I pop my head back in the hallway. “Come on in.” I open the door for them
, and they file in.

  A few more people come through the door and I position everyone in a seat.

  After the speed dating is over, some couples go into the other bar area to continue their conversations. I’m packing up my stuff when Stella approaches me.

  “Hey, it was a great event.”

  “You didn’t find anyone, right? My brother might kill me.”

  We both giggle nervously. Kingston’s always an awkward conversational topic between us.

  “About him,” she says. “I don’t want to put you in this position, but could you keep it to yourself that you saw me here? I mean, I’m not ready to see him just yet.”

  “Sure.” I hate that I’m keeping a secret from Kingston, but he’s better off not knowing until I’m sure Stella can deal with the ramifications of seeing my brother.

  “Thank you. I promise I’ll come out from the shadows eventually. I wasn’t really planning on coming home at all, but…”

  I stop putting paperwork in my bag. “Are you okay?”

  She sighs, looking crestfallen. “I don’t want to burden you with yet another secret, but it’s hard being back and not telling anyone. It’s like I’m alone on an iceberg in the middle of the ocean. Cami’s great, but we haven’t really gotten to the ‘call me if you’re in jail and I’ll bail you out, no questions asked’ stage yet.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “My mom is sick and she’s being stubborn, saying that she doesn’t need my help. So I moved to Anchorage to be closer, but not too close, for reasons you must understand. But you’re telling me that Kingston works for the Anchorage Fire Department?”

  I nod. “Yeah, but he’ll likely be mostly smoke jumping soon. He’ll be gone more than he’s home.”

  “Okay. Again, I’m sorry. You won’t have to keep my secret forever. One day I have to face Kingston and deal with everything and put it behind me for good. We chatted at Austin’s wedding, but it wasn’t about anything of consequence. I know the day is coming when I’ll have to deal with what happened, but at the same time, I can’t imagine putting your brother permanently in my rearview mirror, you know?”