Secrets of the World's Worst Matchmaker

by Piper Rayne

“I’m not sure which one is better.” I feed her more of the slice of pizza.

  “Mine of course.” She nudges close to me, kissing up my jawline. “Your five o’clock shadow is looking pretty hot right now.”

  “Why, Miss Nympho, are you wanting to take this pizza upstairs?”

  She shakes her head. “I never said upstairs. Besides, I think I have to get to know your penis a little better so I can properly nickname it.” Her fingers sweep down my chest until they slip under the elastic of my shorts.

  “Can we please just use dick in the meantime?” Her palm applies pressure and I rock against it. “On second thought, call it whatever you want as long as you keep doing that.”

  And in only a few hours, we christen two rooms in my house. Thank goodness I bought a three-bedroom.

  Twenty-Two

  Juno

  * * *

  A large arm slips around my waist, fingers crawling up my stomach, cradling me into a strong chest.

  “Morning,” Colton says in a groggy voice.

  I’m not sure if we’re actually up or only temporarily awake for our sixth time tonight. Neither one of us has allowed the other to sleep. After the kitchen, we tried to watch a movie, but that just ended with me on my knees between his legs. Then a movie in bed sounded like a better plan, but five minutes in, Colton was kissing my neck and his hands were venturing south to my core. And every time we rolled around in the bed, one of us found the other and a few groggy kisses turned into sex.

  He rolls over me, his length already hard and ready. Locking my wrists down with his strong hands, he teases his tip at my center. We’re already done with condoms and if I’m being honest, I wasn’t sure we’d even use them to begin with. Last night in the kitchen when the condom seemed a million miles away, we had a brief talk about testing and he already knew I was on the pill.

  Weird because in a way, I feel as if we’ve warped past a million stages of a normal relationship.

  “Mr. Willy is already up and rearing to go with the sun, huh?”

  He shakes his head, but his smirk says he doesn’t hate the new names I’m trying out for his dick. For some reason, it’s easier than acknowledging that we’ve crossed that line and I’m now way too familiar with the way my best friend screws.

  I widen my legs to give his hips more room and he slides into my wetness. I moan softly as if I’m a cat being pampered. Without releasing my hands, he grinds into me, circling his hips in a painfully slow motion. One thing that’s consistent is Colton’s always looking at me to see what I’m enjoying. I’ve noticed he can read my body, which has to be a perk of him knowing me so well.

  “Will I ever not want to be woken up like this?” I arch my back, tugging at my hands, wanting to touch him.

  “I hope not.” He bends down and kisses me, his tongue more confident than the first time we kissed last night. As though he’s already used to kissing me in less than twenty-four hours. Just when I think he’s going to release my hands, he closes the kiss, placing one last one on the tip of my nose.

  “I need my hands,” I say.

  He laughs and shakes his head. “You don’t.”

  He thrusts harder and my back arches off the bed. He takes the opportunity to close his mouth over my nipple and suck on my breast. I can’t argue with that.

  His mouth pops off and he increases his tempo in and out of me. I wiggle my wrists, but he doesn’t remove his restraint and there’s something about not being able to touch him, about being held down, that I’m enjoying way too much. His lips fall over my bare skin, teasing, nibbling, and sucking as he grinds in and out of me. I wrap my legs around his waist, the only control I have, and tighten my thighs around his middle. It makes the friction that much better.

  A ripple of an orgasm stirs in my belly, and I chase the high swirling around me. “Harder,” I say, panting, content to struggle with my wrists locked on the bed.

  For a moment, I’m lost in his love-filled eyes. As scared as I am about this going south, there’s no one else I’d rather be with. His eyes catch mine, and whatever he sees causes him to release my wrists. His hands land on my face and he kisses me as though it’s our first time, never breaking pace.

  Somewhere between his tongue sliding into the depths of my mouth and my hands being able to explore his body, he carries me to the edge of the cliff. In the last twelve hours, I’ve seen stars, he’s made me come so hard and so fast. I’ve been dizzy with lust, needy to have another one. But this time, a sense of peace falls over my body. And as he stills inside me, I hold his body to mine, taking the weight of the love and safety only he can give me.

  Propping up on his elbows, he stares at me. “Now that is a good morning.”

  He kisses my lips, withdraws out of me, and heads to the bathroom. The messy side of not using a condom kind of sucks, but the gentleman he is, he returns with a washcloth for me.

  I clean up then get up from the bed and head into the bathroom. “If we don’t want to have our own little one, I’d better get home to take my pill.”

  He follows and turns on the water to the shower. “How about I make some dresser space for you here?”

  I stare at him through my reflection in the mirror. “Isn’t that moving fast?”

  “I see it more like moving slow.”

  He comes up behind me and kisses my neck. That sense of belonging fills my chest again and radiates outward. I’m not sure about taking over dresser space though.

  I circle around in his arms. “Let’s talk about it after at least a week.” I giggle and kiss his cheek. “I’m starving. While you shower, I’m going to make us something.”

  He walks into his glass-doored shower. “Did you forget you don’t cook? Plus, I need groceries. Want to go grocery shopping?”

  “I’m not really sure I want to be in public after last night? I’m the other woman.” I put some toothpaste on my finger and run it over my teeth and tongue, then spit in the sink and cup my hand for some water.

  “I think Brigette was always the other woman according to Lake Starlight residents.”

  “Speaking of, did you check online?”

  “Buzz Wheel?” he asks as I watch soap travel down the contours of his body. There’re no traces of the boy I grew up with—he’s all man now. “No. I don’t care what it has to say.”

  “I wonder if it went up last night or if it will be up today.” I chew on my nails.

  This isn’t something I want in the gossip blog. Of course the Bailey who breaks up a wedding is me. Why should this situation be any different than the rest of my life? It’s always been one of these things is not like the other.

  “It doesn’t matter what it says. It changes nothing and besides, someone else will be the story tomorrow.”

  “How can you be so casual about this? Aren’t you worried? I match people for a living and now I stole the groom of a client I matched. It’s hardly an endorsement.” I sit up on the counter, my stomach not rumbling with hunger anymore.

  The water turns off and Colton grabs a towel from a hook on the wall. One hook, one towel. For some reason, that makes my mind shift into a completely different direction. Which isn’t really an anomaly for me.

  “Was Brigette going to move in here?”

  He dries himself, running the towel over his hair, then wraps it around his waist. “Okay, take a breath.” He cages me to the counter like moments ago, before he smelled like fresh rainfall. “You’re overthinking this. Everyone always assumed we’d be together. They’re going to be happy. And Brigette understands.”

  “Because she was marrying you for a green card, but the rest of Lake Starlight doesn’t know that. They’ll probably look at me like I’m a whore.”

  He chuckles. “They will not. Lake Starlight loves their matchmaker and they aren’t going to nail you to the cross or make you wear a scarlet letter.” He disappears into his room and returns with his phone. He looks at me as I put the T-shirt he gave me last night over my head. “Want me to read it or
you want to read it yourself?”

  I snatch the phone from him and sit on the bed, inhaling then exhaling a large breath.

  * * *

  Lake Starlight Buzz Wheel

  * * *

  For those not in attendance at the wedding of Colton Stone last night, you might be surprised to be waking up to the news that the wedding never happened. Guests, including the entire Bailey clan, watched the bride walk down the aisle, but before vows were exchanged, the bride was walking back up the aisle, disappearing into the Cozy Cottage B&B. Colton followed but told the guests to stick around for the meal. A half hour later, Colton entered the tent only to have his first dance with—Juno Bailey. Rumors are they left the wedding together shortly after. Yes, ladies and gentlemen of Lake Starlight, the matchmaker finally succumbed to her love for Colton Stone. It’s nice to see love won out last night in Lake Starlight.

  * * *

  Some of you might be wondering about Brigette… she was seen leaving the Cozy Cottage B&B with Rhys from Smokin’ Guns Tattoo Parlor, who escorted her to his vehicle. This had a lot of guests at the wedding wondering what exactly was the cause of the canceled wedding?

  * * *

  I close out his phone and he knocks his shoulder to mine. “Not so bad, huh?”

  I shake my head. There’s no reason I should have worried they were going to crucify me. Maybe it’s my own guilt. “It shouldn’t ease my mind that she left with Rhys, but it does.”

  “You need to learn that it’s okay for you to be happy.”

  I kiss his cheek. “I just feel like me getting what I want has left someone else to be banished from the country.”

  He chuckles. “Oh, Juno, she’s fine. Obviously, she wanted to be with Rhys.”

  “I thought maybe her and Jason, but Rhys surprises me.”

  He takes off his towel as though it’s the most natural thing in the world and puts on a pair of track shorts and a T-shirt before tossing me a pair of shorts that I’ll have to roll the waistband down to keep up. “Jason isn’t Brigette’s type. She wants someone who wants to travel and see the world. She wants to stay in America, but she wants the freedom to travel too. A doctor would never be able to give her that, but I think a guy like Rhys, someone who picked up and moved here not knowing a soul, might be the one for her. Jason is more like me—likely to buy a house large enough to fit a family before he’s even found a wife.” He takes my hand and leads me out of the room. “Now come on, let’s grab some breakfast and go get you some clothes.”

  He leads me down the stairs. When we reach the bottom, I jump on his back so he can carry me into the kitchen, but he freezes in the archway and his arms loosen from my legs, making me slide down his back.

  “Dori? Ethel?” he asks.

  I peek around his body.

  “Good morning, lovebirds.” Dori’s putting donuts on a plate while Ethel is pouring glasses of juice.

  “How did you get in my house?” Colton asks.

  Dori rounds the counter, licking powdered sugar off her fingers. “I have the keys to all my kids’ houses.”

  “But I’m not your kid.” Colton’s face is stark white, and I laugh, passing him for a donut.

  “You’ve always been my kid. Although I am a little upset that I was squeezed out of getting the two of you together. Which brings me to the point of my visit this morning.”

  I bite into a chocolate-frosted sprinkle donut and smile at Colton, who I think just realized what it means to be in a relationship with a Bailey. Grandma Dori doesn’t know the meaning of the word space.

  Twenty-Three

  Colton

  * * *

  How the hell did Dori get a key to my house?

  The question runs over and over in my head as Juno sits at the table, working on her second donut. I prepare coffee because Dori and Ethel only drink decaf, which they brought for themselves.

  “Juno, you cannot be a slob.” Dori picks up Juno’s dress that I took off her body last night and lays it nicely over the back of my couch.

  “I didn’t leave it there, Colton did,” she says, which shocks me since upstairs, she was so concerned that the town she grew up in would see her as evil for breaking up my wedding.

  Dori swats her granddaughter’s arm. “Stop it, Juno. I don’t want to hear those things.”

  “Then why are you here this early in the morning? And please tell me you haven’t been here long?” Juno glances at me because about a half an hour ago, she was screaming my name.

  “Yes, we did just get here, which I guess we’re thankful for.”

  Ethel’s expression says maybe she would’ve liked to overhear us having sex. I shiver at the thought of that.

  “And I’m here because I have to skip over you two now,” Dori adds. “You’re together, so I need to move on to Kingston. Word is that Stella Harrison was at your blind speed dating event.”

  Juno’s head whips in my direction, but I shake my head. How on Earth would she get word of Stella? Did Dori spot her at the wedding? Everyone in Lake Starlight knows that Stella returning is the last thing Kingston needs. When it comes to her, he just doesn’t think.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Juno says, and I see her fingers cross under the table.

  “Juno Bailey!” Dori says.

  Ethel turns around and smiles at me, sneaking another donut from the tray. Her eyes dip to my crotch and I smile politely. How long were they here?

  “Dori, I’d like the key back,” I say, interrupting her conversation.

  Dori holds up her hand at me. “Just relax. I only come in when I have to. It’s me, not some stalker.”

  I shake my head, thankful my coffee beeps that it’s done. I pour myself a cup, holding up one to ask Juno if she wants one. She smiles and nods, so I pour her a cup.

  “I don’t really think we should involve ourselves in Kingston and Stella’s business,” Juno says, apparently admitting defeat.

  “You’re a matchmaker. You know as well as I do that they belong together,” Dori says.

  “Do they really?” Juno asks. “There’s a lot of hurt there.”

  “There’s a lot of hurt here.” Dori signals between Juno and me. “But you two were able to work it out and screw like rabbits.”

  I stare blankly at Juno because what the hell am I supposed to say to that?

  “Tell me you don’t have a nanny cam in my house, Dori.” I look into my family room, finding a vase I don’t remember ever buying.

  “Stop being silly,” Dori says, again waving me off like a toddler who won’t stop asking annoying questions.

  But my parents don’t even have a key to my house. The only person who does is…

  “Juno, do you still have my key?” I ask.

  “Colton Stone.” Dori turns to me. “Forget the key thing. I don’t have cameras on you. You’re not that interesting of a person.”

  My mouth opens.

  Juno laughs.

  Ethel pats my arm, giving me a look that says she finds me interesting.

  “Do you have her number?” Dori asks Juno.

  Juno’s gaze scatters along the countertops—trying to locate her phone, I think. “No.” But she purses her lips. Her telltale sign that she’s lying.

  “You’re lying,” Dori says.

  “No, I’m not,” Juno says and again purses her lips. She might as well give up the fight.

  “Well, ladies, I have to get Juno home to shower and change. Thanks for the donuts and juice,” I say, trying to save her.

  Juno’s smile says she’ll be thanking me later. I love these new perks.

  “You’re welcome,” Ethel says, her eyes skimming down my body again.

  I tuck my chair farther under the table.

  “Juno, I just want to talk to her,” Dori says.

  “Grandma, she’s not ready, okay? The last thing we need is Kingston to find out she’s back before Stella can face him. You know how weak he is when it comes to her.” Juno’s tone and words change
Dori’s behavior.

  Dori stares at her cup of coffee for a moment then nods. “Okay, you’re right. I think I’m just a little upset that I didn’t get a hand in getting you two together. I mean, I’ve been waiting months for this moment.” Dori glances between Juno and me.

  “Sorry, Grandma, but you did. I mean…” Juno tries to see where maybe she had something to do with getting us together, but the truth is she didn’t.

  “No, I didn’t, but that’s okay. I’m sure you’ll need me down the road.” She stands and sips her coffee, grabbing her purse. “Ethel, stop making googly eyes at Colton and let’s go.”

  “What do you mean down the road?” Juno asks, getting up and hugging her grandma and Ethel.

  “You guys have a lot more to go through. Did you really think you just admit your feelings, and everything is hunky-dory?” She laughs. “God, I love that saying.”

  Juno’s eyebrows crinkle and she searches me out. I shake my head. This is Dori. She likes to be the matchmaker for her grandchildren, to feel as though they wouldn’t have found their way without her.

  “Kids are so naive,” she tells Ethel, who nods. “They think everything is easy-peasy.”

  Both women walk down the hall, and I put my arm around Juno.

  “The key, Dori?” I try one more time.

  “See you kids later.” She opens the door for Ethel, and they leave, shutting the door behind them.

  “You’re getting that key back,” I say to Juno.

  She laughs. “You’re so paranoid.”

  “Because she has a key to my house and her friend looks at me like I’m a piece of meat.”

  “Ethel’s a vegetarian,” Juno says, still laughing.

  I tickle her ribs until she’s squirming and begging for mercy. I swallow her laughter with a kiss.

  Dori’s wrong—Juno and I have this in the bag. Nothing is gonna go wrong now that we’re finally a couple.