Garden of Hope

by Daphne Bloom

  “I’m so glad you are safe,” he says. “Your sisters have every man in the county looking for you.”

  I take a step back and look up at him. “How did you know to find me here?”

  “You’re Lily,” he says. “Of course you’d be in your garden.”

  My heart swells at how well he knows me.

  “Well, I knew you’d be in a garden,” he clarifies. “I thought I would check here first, then travel from house to house inspecting every garden until I found you.”

  I can’t help but laugh at that. “But why are you here at all?”

  His face turns serious and I’m almost afraid of what he has come to tell me. But what could it possibly be? He surely wouldn’t come all this way to tell me he’s engaged to someone else.

  He takes both my hands in his and I notice that he is not leaning on his cane. He carries it with him, but he is not leaning on it as heavily as before.

  “Lily, will you marry me?”

  Surprise is the first thing I feel. I never believed he would ask me. I thought it was just a foolish dream to imagine such a thing. Then happiness washes over me. It’s a dream come true. A dream I never even had before I met Henry. I never thought any man could truly love me.

  But then fear sinks into my stomach as I recall Albert’s words calling me stupid. Am I being foolish now? Can a fine man like Henry ever truly love a girl like me?

  “Have…have I misread things?” he asks, and I see concern on his face. “I’m sorry. I thought…I thought that we had a connection. That…that you…I’m sorry. I must have been mistaken—”

  “No,” I say, and his face falls. “I mean, no, you aren’t mistaken, not ‘no’ to your proposal.”

  “Oh.” He lets out a sigh of relief. “So…does that mean your answer is yes?”

  “I don’t know,” I say. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

  “Of course!” he says. “Lily, I love you.”

  “But I’m so…strange,” I say. “I’m not like other girls. I’m not witty or funny. I’m terrible at conversation. I’m terribly disheveled. I’d be a terrible countess. And…I fear I’d be an even worse mother.” My eyes water at that as I realize that if I marry Henry, just as if I marry Albert, children will come. What will I do then? How can I possibly take care of a child?

  “If you tend your children even half as well as you tend your plants,” Henry says, “they will be spoiled, indeed!”

  I give a chuckle and half-smile, but it is no laughing matter. He seems to sense my unease and caresses my cheek.

  “It will be all right,” he says. “I promise. We will do whatever we must to make sure they are taken care of. We will hire a whole fleet of nannies if we must. We will hardly be in want of money.”

  The mention of money reminds me that I’m destitute. “My father is dead,” I say.

  “I know,” he says. “And I’m so very sorry for that.”

  “He didn’t leave me my dowry,” I say. “Everything goes to Albert. I’m completely destitute.”

  “That doesn’t matter to me,” he says. “Father already promised that he wouldn’t disown me for marrying you, so my inheritance will be enough. I plan to hold him to that.”

  “Will your family accept me?” I ask. “I don’t want to cause any problems between you and them.”

  “They know I came here to propose to you,” he says. “I expect their full support.”

  It all sounds too good to be true. Have I truly found someone to love me? Someone kind and patient? Someone marrying me and not my dowry?

  “What is wrong?” Henry asks. “Have I offended you in some way? Done something to make you doubt my affection?”

  “No,” I say, twisting my fingers into a knot. “You’ve done nothing wrong, and that is what scares me. Am I being a fool for believing you? Are you truly as perfect as I think you are?”

  He laughs. “I’m not perfect, Lily. Believe me. In fact, I should be telling you not to marry me.”

  “Why?” I ask, worried that I must have overlooked something.

  He runs his hand through his hair. “I…I don’t know if I can have children. I don’t know if I can…be a proper husband to you. Honestly, I’m sorry, Lily. I’ve been very selfish. I shouldn’t be asking you to marry me. You deserve better.”

  He starts to turn away, as though to leave, but I lay my hand on his arm.

  “Stay,” I say, and a relieved smile crosses his face. He then moves toward me quickly, taking my face in his hands and placing his lips on mine. I’m startled at first. I’ve never been kissed before. But a new, pleasurable sensation runs from my lips down my spine to the small of my back. I relax and return the kiss. His lips are as soft as rose petals and he smells of gardenias. I wonder if he’s been using the gardenia oil I sent him.

  He pulls away suddenly, his breathing intense. “Marry me, Lily.”

  “Yes,” I say, and he kisses me again. It’s almost as pleasurable as gardening.

  Almost.

  Epilogue

  Lily

  “Master Austin has been asking for you, my lady.”

  I look up from my gardening as Nanny Rogers leads my son toward me. At two years old, he’s still a bit clumsy, but a more affable child I never did meet. I smile as Austin, named after his father’s deceased uncle, lets go of Nanny’s hand and runs to me, squealing with delight. I sit back on my heels and open my arms to him. He nearly knocks me over. I forget how unsteady I become during my last months of pregnancy.

  “You must be careful with your mama,” Nanny Rogers says as she helps me to my feet. “She’s working hard growing your little brother or sister.”

  “Thank you, Nanny,” I say as I stretch my back. I never thought I would enjoy childbearing, but it is so very like tending a garden, I have found it rather soothing at times. I must rest and eat well and be careful how I walk and what I do. It is like tending to the most delicate of flowers.

  “Come, sit and rest a moment, my lady,” Nanny Rogers says as she leads me to a wrought iron bench beneath an old-growth tree at the edge of the property.

  I lean back against the tree and look at the beautiful home I live in with my husband and son. It’s not a large house, but bigger than I ever thought I would need for myself. My sisters and Henry’s family were horrified when we bought it, but it was just right for us. A two-story brown brick house with a terracotta roof, the house was quite plain seven years ago. But now, bright green ivy creeps up the sides, covering one wall entirely. And all around it is a rainbow of flowers, yellow, red, purple, and white. And, of course, plenty of green.

  For five years, the house was a bit empty, four extra bedrooms holding nothing but furniture for guests, which we hosted infrequently. We had nearly given up hope that a child would come when I fell pregnant with Austin. And now the poor dear is spoiled terribly by his relatives. Henry’s father, who was always rather cool toward me, has become the mostly kindly father-in-law I could ask for. When I fell pregnant again, I thought I must be dreaming. I hope it is a girl. Austin has shown little interest in plants. He hates to get his hands dirty. If I have a girl this time, I do pray she will be a little more like me.

  “Papa!” Austin runs across the yard when he sees Henry. Henry no longer requires the constant use a cane, but he still has a limp and must be careful how he moves. He pats our son on the head but cannot lift him up. I notice that Elise’s husband is with Henry when he picks Austin up.

  Elise is not far behind, holding the hands of both of her daughters. It took a long time for her to come back to her normal self. It took many months of rest and coddling. There were times when she feared she could never love the little girl who should have been a boy. But eventually she came around, and a more loving mother would be hard to find. I stand up and waddle over to them.

  Henry kisses my cheek. “Are you sure you should be out in the sun?”

  “I was just about to go inside and rest. But I see we have company.”

  “I know
we were not invited,” Elise says, “but we have news.” She tries to look stern, but I can see laughter hiding behind her eyes.

  “What’s happened?”

  “Albert is dead!” she says, and she barely tries to stifle a laugh. I’m not sad that the man is dead, but neither do I relish it.

  “A carriage accident, I’m afraid,” Henry says.

  “Oh,” I say. “How very tragic.” We are all quiet for a moment. There simply isn’t much more to say about it than that. I haven’t even seen Albert since the day Henry proposed.

  “Will you be staying for tea?” I ask Elise.

  “Lily,” Elise says, “don’t you realize what this means?”

  “No. I’ve barely spared a thought for him all these years.”

  “His insipid wife only had two daughters,” she says. “The estate falls to his nearest male relative.”

  “But wouldn’t that be…” I look over to see Austin playing with his cousins under the watchful eye of Nanny Rogers. Realization falls over me. “You mean Austin is now the Earl of Derby?”

  “Yes!” she says, grabbing my hands and nearly dancing in excitement. “Isn’t it wonderful! Things worked out all right in the end. If only Father had lived long enough to see it.”

  I’m rather bowled over by this information. I look around at my garden and my little house, the life we’ve built, and I clutch my stomach protectively.

  “But I don’t want to go back to Derby Hall. Can’t we just pass it all off to someone else? I can’t be the Countess of Derby until Austin comes of age!”

  “No, no, no, darling,” Henry says in the voice he uses to soothe me when I start to get overwhelmed. “We don’t have to leave. I know how happy you are here.”

  “I have already offered Lady Derby a compromise on your behalf,” Elise’s husband says. “We knew you would not want to take up the mantle of countess. Lady Derby and her daughters will be allowed to stay at the estate until the girls marry, and each girl is to be given a generous dowry. After they have married, they will live with their husbands of course, at which time Lady Derby will be allowed to live in a smaller house of her choosing, then Austin will take over the estate. Unless the girls don’t marry by age twenty, then they will all have to find new lodgings, but they will receive their dowries in their own names, so they will do all right I think.”

  “I knew that you would not want the girls left destitute,” Elise says, “no matter how rude their mother is.”

  I nod. I only met Julia, Lady Derby, once in London. I don’t know why she looked down her nose at me. She was a countess and I lived a hundred miles away in Cornwall. But I don’t pretend to understand most people. Still, Elise is right. I would never want another girl to suffer the threat of poverty as I once did if I could prevent it.

  “Are you not pleased?” Elise asks. “You are awfully quiet. Did we overstep the mark? I’m sorry we did not consult you, but I thought it would be better not to burden you with the details before things were settled.”

  “Oh, I’m pleased,” I say. “It all worked out rather well, didn’t it? I suppose I only wish Papa had lived to see his grandson become the heir he always wanted.”

  Elise wraps her around my shoulder. “I understand. But I can’t help wondering if he had a hand in it somehow. I know he would be so glad to have Austin as his heir.”

  I nod, still feeling a bit melancholy for some reason.

  “Why don’t we head inside out of the sun,” Henry offers. Elise nods and calls her daughters to her as she heads into the house. Austin runs up to Nanny Rogers, who lifts the little boy into the air and kisses his cheek. Henry kept his promise to me in hiring Nanny Rogers. I never have to worry about Austin as long as she is around to help me. As we walk toward the house, Henry puts his arm around my shoulder.

  “I know you are scared of things changing,” he says, “but you don’t have to worry. We will stay right here, I promise.”

  At his words, my heart feels a little lighter. Henry always knows the right thing to say, just how to calm my racing thoughts.

  “I’m just so happy,” I say. “Happier than I ever thought I could be. I would hate to lose everything we’ve built here.”

  Henry turns me to face him. “I can’t promise things will never change. The world is an uncertain place. But I will always do my best to keep you safe and happy.” He leans down and gives me a light kiss.

  “Besides,” he says, placing his hands on my belly, “you can’t stop all change. I’m sure this little one will change our lives in all the best ways.”

  “My father only ever dreamed of having a boy,” I say. “And your father, even though he had a grandson, he still pressured you to have another one. Am I betraying them by hoping I have a girl this time?”

  “Certainly not!” Henry says. “Even if Austin had been a girl I’d love him…her all the same. I won’t make the same mistakes as your father and leave our daughters out of their rightful inheritance.”

  “Thank you,” I say. I exhale and shake my arms, determined to dispel the gloom that is hanging around me. As we round the garden to the front of the cottage, there on the porch, I see a basket of new flowers in need of planting. I rush over to it as quickly as I can in my condition. Roses, lilies, orchids. Plants that are all familiar to me.

  “Henry! Where did you get these?” I ask, certain that the lilies are the ones my father once gave to me.

  “Well, I may have paid a certain gardener to steal them for you.”

  “Mr. Wright?” I ask as I remember my old friend. He must have stayed on at the estate after I left.

  “One and the same,” a voice says. I look up as a familiar face, though a little more lined with age, comes up the walk.

  “I may have also stolen the gardener,” Henry says. “With yet another baby on the way, I thought you might have less time for gardening and didn’t want you to stress about your plants not being taken care of.”

  I’m so touched I can hardly speak. Our marriage has not been perfect. We have had some very trying moments. Both of us have our failings. But Henry’s patience has been a gift that I am so grateful for.

  I think love might be the most beautiful flower of all.

  * * *

  The End

  Letter from the Author

  My daughter is on the autism spectrum, and I hope it was clear in this story that Lily is too even though the word was never used. As a lover of history and historical fiction, I sometimes think about how different my daughter’s life would have been had she been born in a time before we understood the mind as we do today. Often, it is a scary thought. People with mental disabilities in the past were often disregarded as “idiots,” “insane,” or “hysterical.” But sometimes, with the support of family, people like Lily were able to live as normal a life as possible.

  * * *

  If you would like to learn more about the history of autism, even before the word existed, I recommend the article “The Early History of Autism in America” by John Donvan and Caren Zucker in Smithsonian Magazine, available free online.

  Thank You For Reading!

  I hope you enjoyed Garden of Hope! If you did, please consider joining my mailing list so you never mis s a new release!

  http://DaphneBloom.com/

  Also by Daphne Bloom

  Garden of Love Series

  Garden of Hope

  Garden of Dreams

  Garden of Temptation

  Garden of Joy

  Garden of Delight

  About the Author

  Daphne Bloom is an author of romances and cozy mysteries. She lives in a quaint Southern town with her family that lets her imagination run free. When she's not watching the latest historical drama on TV, she's usually curled up with her dog and a good book. You can jointer newsletter on her website, DaphneBloom.com or follow her on social media.

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