by Bianca Cole
“What the fuck were you thinking?”
Her eyes snap open, and she worries her bottom lip with her teeth. She shakes her head. “I was escaping.” Her eyes harden. “After what you did…”
Shame floods me at the mention of earlier, and I draw a long breath. She wanted to get away from me. Escape the beast I am. “I’m sorry,” I mutter, shaking my head.
There’s nothing more I can say to excuse my behavior.
“I can’t sit around waiting for you to snap and go too far,” she says, tears filling her eyes as she says it. “Next time, you might go through with it.”
I grit my teeth together and try to think of something to say. How can I win back Milana’s trust? “There won’t be next time,” I mutter.
“No, there won’t be. I don’t want any part in whatever this is between us anymore.” She glances away from me, and my heart breaks.
It’s what I expected. It’s what I deserve. Despite that, I can’t just let this girl go, not without a fight.
“Milana, look at me,” I say.
She ignores me initially.
“Now,” I command, keeping my voice soft.
Her jaw clenches, and then she turns her head, glaring at me with such ferocity. “Don’t order me about.”
My stomach clenches at her boldness. She’s always been so gutsy, despite her situation with me. It’s one of the things I love about her. “Please don’t do this,” I say.
Her eyes widen. “Are you begging me?”
A part of me recoils against the suggestion. Milana should be the only one who begs in this relationship, but right now, I’m desperate.
I’m on the cusp of losing the best thing that has happened to me in years. “Yes, because I can’t lose you.” I shake my head. “My rage is a problem. I know that. I’m sorry I lost it with you.” I swallow hard. “I promise I won’t do it again.”
Her eyes narrow, and she sinks deeper into the water.
I wait for her response, wishing beyond anything I could turn back the clock and act differently. Life in the bratva has made my rage worse. It’s fed the anger and given me an outlet to express it in the wrong way. I’ve never dealt with the grief and the shame I harbor deep inside of me, scared to face it.
“How can I believe you?” she asks.
I shake my head. “I don’t know, but I know I need to face up to my demons.”
She looks into my eyes properly for the first time since I snapped at her. “I want to believe you,” she mutters.
My heart flutters in my chest with hope. I hope that somehow we’ll be able to get through this. “Then believe me.” I thread my fingers into her hair and pull her lips to mine, kissing her softer than I ever have.
When I break away, she mutters words that cut me to the core, “I don’t know how this can continue.”
I don’t know how it can either, but it has to. Life without Milana is no longer an option. She’s everything to me.
“It has to continue,” I mutter, splashing warm water over her hair. I grab a bottle of shampoo and squirt some into my hand. “I’m going to wash your hair,” I say, before rubbing the shampoo into her tangled, messy strands.
She sighs as I massage her scalp.
Milana has become my world in a short period. Ever since the death of my fiance, I’ve never even given one moment thought to love again. I don’t believe I deserve it, but I want it with Milana.
Once I’ve washed the shampoo from her hair, I ring it out and then run my hand down her neck to her full breasts.
She groans at my attention, clamping her thighs together. I’ve been hard as a rock ever since I started washing her hair. It’s time for me to show her how much she means to me.
“I need you,” I breathe, playing with her hard nipples.
She meets my gaze and licks her lips, eyes full of fire. I seem to have broken down her doubts—for now, at least.
I let my hand tease down her stomach until I reach her legs. She parts her thighs for me, allowing me access to her perfect pussy. I’ve never craved a woman the way I crave Milana. It’s an addiction—she’s addictive.
My finger slips inside of her, and she makes the most delicious sound. She’s soaking wet for me already. I work my finger in and out of her, making her cheeks turn a deep pink. I tease her clit between my finger and thumb, making her moan loud.
“Lyov,” she calls my name, making me even harder.
Her pussy tightens around my finger, and I quickly add another, fucking her to orgasm so damn fast. She shudders in the water as she comes undone. Her eyes clamp shut. Her lips part on a moan.
“I need to be inside of you.” I groan.
She stands from the water and shivers instantly. I grab some towels and quickly dry her with one of them. Once she’s dry, I wrap her in another and lift her into my arms.
Milana wraps her arms around my neck as I carry her into the bedroom. She’s quick to get under the sheets, shivering slightly — nothing better to warm her up than some hot and heavy sex.
I get under them with her, covering her body with mine. My hands roam every inch of her curves, worshipping them as she writhes beneath me. The need to be inside her claws at me. Usually, I take my time, but I almost lost her.
She could have died out there, and it was my fault. I kiss her lips hard, slipping my tongue into her mouth and searching with desperation. I need her to know how much I regret the way I treated her. I need her to know how much she means to me.
I let my hand tease between our bodies, finding her soaking wet center. She’s more than ready for me. “Fuck me, sir,” she moans.
I groan, not needing to be asked twice. My cock slips deep inside of her tight heat, filling her to the hilt. For a moment, I remain still. She bucks beneath me, trying to get me to move, but I hold her tight. The need to savor this moment out wins the need to fuck her.
“Please, Lyov,” she breathes.
I grunt and begin to move in and out of her. Initially, I’m slow, but it’s not long until I’m fucking her hard and rough. Her body is taking everything I give. My cock aches as her pussy muscles clamp down on me so hard. She’s coming already, and I’ve barely fucking started.
I grunt, flipping her over onto her hands and knees. She arches her back as I fuck her through her first orgasm, spanking her ass at the same time.
I drive in harder and faster as she keeps her back arched. It’s as if she is challenging me to become the beast I am. I can’t lose control with her. My tendency to be rough can scare me at times.
“Harder,” Milana moans.
It snaps my resolve. The last hold on my control slips through my fingers. My cock aches as I pick up the tempo. I fuck Milana so hard I might break her in two. Unlike most women who’ve goaded me to this point, she moans and arches her back more.
How can she love this so much?
I spank her ass. My cock slides as deep as possible inside her with each thrust.
A crazy, wild notion slides through my mind every time I’m inside of her. The need to shoot my seed into her belly rules me — a need to breed her. I’ve got no idea if she’s on birth control, but I fucking hope she’s not.
It would give me full possession over her if she were carrying my child. We’ve fucked every day for the past week, multiple times. I want to make her pregnant. I want that ultimate mark on her to ensure no man ever goes near her again.
The image of Milana’s tummy growing big with my child makes me want to explode. Instead, I hold out, clenching my jaw tightly. She needs to come again first. I want to feel her tighten around me.
I stop fucking her and pull out, making her whimper in protest. My arms snake around her waist, and I lift her to me, flipping her onto her back. She looks perfect—cheeks flushed and chest heaving. My mouth waters as I suck on each of her hardened nipples.
I grab her ankles, pushing them up and sinking every inch back inside of her. She moans, parting her pouty, thick lips. “Fuck, just like that,” she breathes, clamp
ing her eyes shut and letting her head fall back against the pillow.
My cock is so deep inside of her, as I pound into her tight, wet heat with abandon. It feels like we’re the only two people in this world — all reasoning and questioning of what I’m doing vanishes from my mind when we come together. I shouldn’t be doing this, but I don’t care.
“Oh my God,” she cries out as her pussy tightens around me.
I grunt, trying to hold out as she milks me for all I’ve got. The need to make this moment last driving me, but she’s too fucking tight. I explode as deep as possible inside of her, spilling my seed and marking her.
Milana is mine. I knew it when I saw her on that dance floor, and I know it now more than ever. No matter what my pakhan says. No matter what anyone says.
Andrei won’t be getting those photos. I’m never letting her go. I’ll go to the ends of the earth to keep her with me—whatever it takes.
14
Milana
Lyov holds me so tightly; it almost hurts. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice distant.
“Sorry for what?” I ask, glancing up at him. Is he apologizing again for the way he treated me? Part of me feels weak for believing him. He is troubled. I shouldn’t sleep with a man who held a knife against my throat.
He shakes his head. “Everything.” He glances down at me. “And, I know I can be rough during sex.”
I laugh. “I like it rough, couldn’t you tell?”
He shakes his head and swallows. “I shouldn’t have snapped at you the way I did before.”
I sigh heavily and squeeze his hand gently. “No, you shouldn’t have.” I gaze up at him and notice a stray tear rolling down his cheek. It shocks me to see a man like Lyov cry. I shift out of his grip and sit on his lap, wiping it from his cheek. “What’s wrong?”
His jaw clenches and conflict rages in his brilliant blue eyes. “Nothing.”
“Tell me, Lyov.”
His jaw clenches, and he stares into my eyes. “My past is complicated and I…” he trails off, averting my gaze.
I cup his chin in my hand. “An ex?” I ask.
He squeezes my hand in return. “Sort of.” He swallows hard. “Ten years ago, my fiance died.”
I stare at him, stunned for a moment, mainly that he told me so freely. “I’m so sorry.” A small silence passes between us. “Was she killed by the bratva?” I ask, knowing that so many men lose family and lovers in the crossfire of brotherhood wars.
He shakes his head. “I killed her.” His jaw clenches tighter, and the guilt in his eyes is unmistakable.
It takes me aback to think Lyov would kill his fiancé. I wait for him to say more. “Why?” I ask when he says nothing.
He shakes his head. “Car accident, but I had been drinking. We both had.” He pauses a moment, staring into the distance as he remembers the painful memories. “Liliana died, and I lived.”
“I’m so sorry,” I say, squeezing his hand.
He tenses. “Don’t pity me,” he snaps, shaking his head. “I killed her. It was my fault for drinking too much.” The rage I’d seen earlier resurfacing makes me recoil backward.
His demeanor shifts so quickly it’s enough to give me whiplash. Suddenly, his rage starts to make some sense. He’s hurting from his past still, and it’s his only way to deal. I shift away from him and sit on the edge of the bed, resting my head in my hands. Even so, it’s no reason for him to take it out on me.
I can’t even begin to imagine how guilty he must feel for what happened. It makes this whole situation even more fucked up. What have we done?
Lyov is troubled and broken, but this situation isn’t good for him. We’re enemies by association. Sure, I dislike my dad and have no allegiance to him, but we are from opposing sides.
We shouldn’t be together, but my heart longs for him. I think I knew my heart was at risk the moment our eyes met across that dance floor. It’s not going to be easy, and there are so many things stacked against us, but being with him feels as natural as breathing.
Two large, rough hands grab my shoulders, pulling me backward. “I’m sorry, Milana. It’s hard for me to speak about.” I let him lift me into his lap, kissing my cheek gently. “You’re the first person I’ve told about it since.”
I swallow hard, gazing into those beautiful eyes that hold so much pain and conflict. He has carried the weight of his mistakes for ten years. It’s clear as day when I look at him. It’s why he’s so angry all the time. Perhaps I can help heal those wounds. “I understand.”
He smiles at me, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Thank you.” He shifts out of bed to sit on the edge. “I want to take a shower.” He glances back at me, and the wicked look in his eyes almost melts me.
I lick my lips, feeling the heat pooling between my thighs at the mere memory of what we just did. We’ve just fucked, and I should be sore—I was sore when we finished, but the moment Lyov looks at me like that, I’m aching for another reason.
Lyov is a damn God.
I get out of bed and dash after him into the bathroom.
He captures me with his arms around my waist, lifting me against the wall. “Where do you think you are going?” He raises an eyebrow.
I lick my bottom lip. “Shower.” I nod my head toward it.
He smirks at me. “Yes, you are very dirty.” His voice is a husky rumble that sends shivers down my spine. He sets me back on the floor and spanks my ass playfully. “Get in.”
I walk into the large walk-in shower, turning on the faucet. I jump back as the cold water hits me, bashing straight into Lyov’s hard, naked chest. His arms wrap around me, and he kisses my shoulder.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs into my ear, pushing me under the warm water.
I sigh as the warm water, and Lyov’s warm body encase me. We’re like rabbits ever since we first fucked. It’s impossible to resist the urge to throw myself at him.
He spanks my ass as I attempt to turn around. “Back to me,” he orders. He parts my ass cheeks, and suddenly, his tongue probes at my forbidden hole. It sends a new thrill through me as his finger slips into my dripping heat.
“Have you ever been fucked here?” he asks, pressing his finger against my tight ring of muscles.
I shake my head. “No,” I squeak. The thought of him fucking my ass both scares and excites me.
He growls lowly. “Do you want me to?”
I shrug, unable to find the words to reply.
He spanks my ass. “Wait right here.”
I stand still, keeping my hands pressed against the shower wall as the warm water cascades over me.
He returns, holding a bottle of clear lube. I hear him squirt some into his hand, and then I feel his finger against my hole. “Relax,” he purrs, making my pussy ache. The thought of anything inside of my ass makes me hot.
Slowly, he works his fingers into my virgin hole. “Lyov,” I breathe, half in shock and half in pleasure. It feels unbelievably good and so forbidden. I can feel the wetness pooling between my thighs and the ache deepening as he moves his finger in and out.
“Do you like that?” he breathes, nibbling on my ear lobe.
I groan as he kisses my neck, making me needy for anything he gives me.
“Answer me.”
“Yes, sir,” I say.
He adds another lubed finger into my ass, slowly moving it in and out of me. It blows my mind and sets me alight. I moan as he continues to finger my ass, stretching my hole for the first time.
I never imagined how good this could be. The only thing that had held me back was the thought of how much it would hurt, but it doesn’t. Lyov adds even more lube and continues to stretch my hole with three fingers.
The hard, hot swell of his cock rests against my ass cheek. It pulses against my skin, making me want him more. I feel dizzy with the need he’s igniting inside of me. “Fuck me,” I breathe.
His fingers still inside of my forbidden, and he nips my ear. “Where?”
I bite my bottom lip
, wondering whether I can fit his huge size in there. “My ass,” I breathe, despite the uncertainty racking me. A part of me longs to try it with him.
He groans and presses the thick length of his cock against my aching, stretched hole. A shudder runs from the top of my head right down my spine. “Are you sure?”
I bite my bottom lip and nod my head before I can change my mind.
He gets more lube and works it into my hole, before spreading it all over his thick, throbbing cock. I gasp as he wraps his arm around my waist and lifts me out of the shower, carrying me back toward the bedroom.
He sets me down in the center of the bed and smiles, no doubt at my questioning gaze. “You can’t have your first anal sex stood up.” He pushes my legs up and tilts my ass toward him, letting the heaviness of his cock rest against my hole.
I hold my breath, waiting to feel him push.
“Relax and breathe, baby,” he purrs, pressing forward and stretching me around him. Initially, it hurts a little, and Lyov has to add more lube, pulling back and rubbing it all over the length of him.
The sight of him touching himself builds the deep ache inside of me. He is a god in his own right. I can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have captured his attention in this way. I groan as he slides two fingers back into my ass, making sure I’m ready for him.
Lyov presses his thick, swollen head against my stretched hole, forcing himself inside. I groan, feeling uncomfortable initially because of how huge he is. It doesn’t hurt as such, but it feels so unusual.
“Relax,” he purrs, pressing his lips to mine.
I groan as he pushes in even deeper, keeping my legs stretched. His tongue darts out into my mouth, teasing against my tongue as his cock sinks into a place I’ve never been touched before.
It’s surprisingly intimate and pleasurable—beyond anything I’ve ever experienced before. I shut my eyes, giving myself over to the sensations. Lyov’s tongue delves deep inside of my mouth, exploring and searching with need.