Heart's Darkness

by H D A Roberts

  Gabrielle reeled back, her hand going to her cheek in shock.

  "You know what he did for you, what he gave for you, and willingly. And you'd do this?" Rose hissed.

  "Don't you play the high and mighty with me!" Gabrielle snarled back, her form flickering with black fire, "I've seen you, I've heard you whisper in his ear, and it's not all on the approved script, now, is it?!"

  "I have discretion to speak to my charge as I see fit!" Rose replied, her form glowing with energy as her wings and halo flashed into being.

  "Hey!" I shouted, both women jumped before turning to look at me a little sheepishly, "Would someone kindly explain to me what's going on? Because I'm not cleaning up the collateral damage if you two face off in the middle of a crowd!"

  The Angel and the Demon looked at each other and seemed to silently agree to settle down.

  "Simply put," Rose said, "When the Fae tore those chunks of soul out of you, it did a colossal amount of damage. Because there's a piece of her inside of you, your natural inclinations are more easily swayed towards... darker impulses as a result. So I try to use my influence to... shift the balance back, when I can."

  "Which is just as interfering as what I'm doing, if not worse, because he doesn't have the chance to resist you, does he, Feathers?!"

  "Oh shut up, will you?!" Rose practically screeched. She really was having a day... Angels weren't supposed to screech.

  "And it doesn't work, does it? He's just getting darker! He was going to peel that kid open!"

  "No I wasn't, just for the record," I chimed in.

  "You're right," Rose whispered.

  "And another- what?" Gabrielle said.

  "You're right. And I have to fix this." Rose said, her eyes turning hard.

  "What?" Gabrielle replied, "I was just being facetious, don't you bloody da-"

  The Demon froze too.

  "You can do that to her?" I asked.

  "Sure," Rose replied, "Time doesn't discriminate."

  She walked closer to me, taking my hands in hers.

  "She is right, your actions brought a piece of her, a piece of Hell into you. Surely you've felt it by now? Especially since you woke up from the coma? It's harder to rest, easier to get angry, to lose control. Easier to lash out."

  I nodded, reluctantly.

  "I can't actually fix this, Mathew. It's not in my power to remove something from you, or repair the damage to your soul. But I can offer a little... peace. Think about those you care about, all those people you can't live without. Picture them, feel them in your heart."

  She put her arms around my neck and leant her head on my shoulder.

  I did as I was told, and she planted a little kiss on my cheek.

  And, oh my...

  You might say it was a revelation. If Gabrielle's touch had made me feel wanted, needed and masculine, Rose's made me feel loved, adored even, simply and wonderfully. I instant broke out in tears and she held me as I cried, whispering soothingly in my ear as I let myself grieve properly, at long last. For Des, Jocelyn, Cathy; for Gwendolyn and Evelina, for myself... for the things I'd lost and the pain I suffered.

  Finally I felt the darker parts of me settle, just a little bit. They hadn't gone, they were still a part of me, but they weren't grating against me anymore. It was like some parts of me had been out of alignment, and now they were once again part of the whole, the ragged edges smoothed out. I felt more like me again. I was still angry, but it was just that bit easier to bear, enough that I could control myself properly.

  "Oh, thank you," I gasped.

  "That's alright, Mathew," she said, taking my hand, "it was the least I could do. I was the reason she got her hooks into you, after all."

  "How did you fix me?"

  "You know I can't tell you much, and nor could I do that much. I was able to do just enough to counter what she did. I balanced things out, only. No more, no less. You would have gotten there on your own eventually, as the part that is her integrated with you more fully, but you're vulnerable right now, and I wanted to make sure that you weren't unduly influenced."

  "You're not going to explain that, are you?" I asked with a smile.

  She smiled back.

  "I figured," I said, and then gestured at Gabrielle, "Why was she carping on like that? It's like she wanted you to lash out at her."

  "You're not the only one she likes to tempt. Technically speaking, she won today. Though she may see it differently; she liked having an open goal in your soul."

  "She still does," I confessed, "The crack in my defences is still there, I can feel her when she's close. You too, now that I think about it."

  "Don't worry about it too much. You have shown a remarkable ability to Will your way past temptation."

  "Really? I live with two of the women who've tempted me, love them both and would chop my own arm off if either of them asked. Well, providing they had a good enough reason."

  Rose snorted, "That's not quite the same. That Tethys of yours set out to make you her foot soldier, her muscle. And now she belongs to you. She'd burn this world down to the ground for you. Cassandra too, by the way, all your immediate friends and family would. You have a way about you Mathew, something that draws people. It's a quiet thing, a gentle thing. You make people feel protected and valued. That's a rare gift."

  I waved off the compliment and blushed while Rose unfroze Gabrielle.

  "-are," Gabrielle finished. Her eyes narrowed almost immediately as she quickly realised that we weren't standing where we had been a few minutes ago. The Demon looked me over for a long moment and then she let out a stream of invective that made me blush even harder.

  "Oh, you bitch! He was perfect, and now look at him!" Gabrielle finally barked, glaring at Rose.

  "You practically dared me to," Rose said with a smirk.

  Gabrielle let out a most un-ladylike sound and vanished in a puff of smoke.

  "I'd better get after her, the last time you annoyed her this much, she went into a convent and converted everyone back to sin," she said.

  Yes, it's always my fault...

  Rose pulled me into a warm hug that made me feel terrific, putting me back into place next to Jocelyn.

  "Oh! I forgot. Keep an eye on things here. There are events in motion that could be... problematic for you. That's why I came."

  "You don't say?" I said ironically.

  She kissed my cheek and smiled.

  "Be good."

  "No promises."

  She vanished and time resumed its normal flow.

  I heard laughter and remembered that I still had an idiot to deal with. I'd been so angry before, so willing to do harm, but now... the sun was shining just that little bit more brightly, the grass was just that bit greener; Jocelyn was fuming, but her eyes sparkled, and my own eyes were drawn to the angry set of her beautiful face. Everything seemed much more amusing than it had when this all started.

  I smiled, then chuckled, and Gerald's eyes narrow dangerously. Jocelyn looked at me with a frown on her face, no doubt confused by the sudden change of atmosphere.

  "Oh, sorry, something funny I saw on TV last night," I lied, stretching my back, "Now, what was your problem again?"

  "Are you insane?" he asked.

  "Little bit. Shadow Magic, you know, makes you a bit crazy," I said with wide and staring eyes (doubly sinister when taking into account what mine looked like).

  "Come on Jocelyn, get away from this nut-job," he said, reaching for her.

  I crafted a little memory enhancer and released it gently into his head. He blinked, froze... and simply started laughing; blasting out great guffaws and big, bellowing belly-laughs, his face wide in a happy grin. He laughed so hard he fell on his backside and squealed, almost like a hyena.

  "What the hell?" Jocelyn asked.

  "He's just remembering all his favourite jokes," I said with a smile, gesturing for her to move onwards.

  "Not what I was expecting from you," she said cautiously.

  "I've
mellowed."

  "Evidently," she said with a smile.

  "Hold it right there!"

  Oh, now what?

  Two men in light blue uniforms were approaching, both wore Spelleater amulets; both were a little on the heavy side, but neither looked weak. They carried batons in their hands and had tasers on their belts.

  "Hello," I said cheerfully.

  "Did you just use Magic on that kid?" the taller one asked, glaring at me.

  "No, of course not," I lied glibly.

  One pulled a crystal from his pocket and it glowed faintly, flaring to form a dim line of white light between Gerald and I. Gerald had stopped laughing by this point and was lying on the ground with a big smile on his face. Not really the sort of thing that should have drawn a pair of uniformed types... I smelt skulduggery (or, more likely, Aldwich).

  "I think you're going to have to come with us," the one with the crystal said, brandishing his baton.

  "Are you police?" I asked.

  "What?" the shorter one said, "No."

  "Then no," I said.

  "That wasn't a request," the taller one said.

  "Oh please," I said, "Please make me."

  Okay, so my anger wasn't completely gone. And neither was my contempt for overbearing authority.

  They sneered and came forwards. I raised my hand and their Spelleaters darted away from their necks in a shower of steel links, landing in my palm, where I crushed them with my Will. Spelleaters were powered by their user's Living Energy. No host, no function.

  They paled and stared for a long moment before good sense got the better of them, and they nearly fell over each other running away.

  "They were something official, weren't they?" I asked, dropping the mangled amulets.

  "Campus security, I think," Jocelyn said with a giggle.

  "Oh, then who cares?" I said, letting her lead the way.

  "I didn't know you could do that," she said, eyeing up the Spelleaters with an amused eye.

  "I'm versatile."

  That encounter did have ramifications, as it turned out, but nothing a little bribery couldn't fix. A little enquiry revealed that it had indeed been Aldwich who'd 'mentioned' me to Campus Security (and well in advance of that first lecture, too). Unfortunately for him, he didn't have the budget for a sustained campaign against me, whereas my 'peace and quiet fund' more than stretched to the long-term greasing of the Security Chief's palm.

  That actually ended up working out pretty well for me. Having Security in my pocket made my occasional... problems much easier to sweep under the rug.

  We eventually ended up at a small cafe near the Great Hall. It was student run and, judging by the truly hideous artwork on the wall, student decorated as well. It had a cheerful atmosphere and smiling staff who served tiny artisanal drinks made from things that I wouldn't willingly allow past my lips, but which seemed to be rather popular, somehow.

  Jocelyn and I picked a table near the window and sat across from one another while her bodyguard leaned against the far wall and glared at me. The small crowd of patrons largely ignored us once it became obvious that the red-eyed monster wasn't going to do anything interesting.

  I sipped at a hot chocolate while Jocelyn drank one of those designer monstrosities; they'd called it coffee, but somehow, they'd made it purple.

  The silence stretched a little awkwardly.

  "So," she said, "You seeing anyone?"

  Wow, right to the hard stuff...

  "I was," I said, looking down, "It didn't end well."

  "Oh. Sorry."

  "You?"

  "A couple of dates. Like I said, they mostly come for Faust, not Jocelyn."

  "Sorry to hear that."

  Damn, this was just painful...

  "I heard about the attack," she said, touching her cheek as she looked at mine, "I wanted to gut those people."

  "I beat you to that," I said a little icily, it wasn't a pleasant memory.

  "Good."

  "So, what are you studying?" I asked, desperate to steer the conversation into more pleasant areas.

  Her course was much like mine, half Magic, half 'normal', though she was studying law with an eye towards business, and her Magic classes were at the introductory level. She was still living in the Faust ancestral home, which was only four streets over from Blackhold (too close for my comfort), and was otherwise enjoying herself since she got out from under her grandfather's thumb.

  She filled me in on some news from her extended family and glanced at the clock as time went on, looking a little agitated.

  "Somewhere to be?" I asked.

  "I'm a bit concerned, actually. My grandfather had some legal stuff happening today. I was waiting for news."

  I winced. I was not a fan of the elder Faust.

  She noticed, "It's okay, I'm glad he's gone. He's been controlling my life ever since my parents died. The only good parts of my childhood were the ones when he was away."

  "He's not getting out, or anything?"

  "God no. They threw away the key."

  I smiled at that and took a sip of my drink. This was actually nice. Jocelyn was good company, even if there was tension. She was easy with a smile and quite beautiful; lovely enough that even my jaded heart started to beat a bit faster.

  But people outside the cafe started shrieking, and the moment ended. I turned quickly to see a Portal open outside the coffee shop, out of which sprang Cassandra and Demise, surprising me no end, I can tell you. They looked around and I stood, waving to them. They darted in, scattering students.

  "Mathew, where have you been? We've been calling and texting for an hour!" Cassandra said.

  I pulled out my phone, which was on, but it wasn't showing a signal, which was odd, Stonebridge's mobile cover was damn near perfect. A nasty thought came over me and I cast Mage Sight.

  It was a miniscule thing, very, very subtle. It's no wonder I didn't sense it, it was barely even a spark of Magic, below even my detection threshold. It was just enough to disrupt a tiny circuit in my phone. It would take someone with impressive skill to cast that spell and get it past me.

  I nearly swore as I remembered the one time my phone had been out of my hands that I could remember; that morning, in fact. Bloody Aldwich!

  "What's the matter?" I asked

  "Lord Faust, Matty," Cassandra said, "They just overturned his conviction."

  Chapter 7

  I turned slowly to look at Jocelyn. She went pale.

  Now, someone with my paranoid disposition might think that her being with me just as all this had happened was a little too convenient to be coincidence, but the look on Jocelyn's face... I knew this had nothing to do with her. That left Aldwich; was he working for Faust, or was this simple opportunistic spite?

  "No," Jocelyn whispered, distracting me from thoughts of lightning-related revenge. She looked down, tears in her eyes, a look of pure shock on her face, "Not again!"

  My heart went out to her. She was clearly more than a little horrified.

  "Jocelyn, don't worry, I'll go and have a word with a few people, see what I can do. It's going to be alright, I promise."

  "You don't know that!"

  I moved my chair next to hers and, against my better judgement, I took her hand, "Yes I do," I said firmly.

  She met my eyes and looked at them for quite a while before nodding and letting me go. I stood and turned to my Wardens.

  "Where?" I asked.

  "Houses of Justice," Cassandra said.

  "I don't know where that is, can you Portal me, Dee?"

  She nodded and led the way out of the cafe. I didn't look back, not wanting to see Jocelyn cry.

  This... wasn't terrific. Faust was dangerous not because he was especially powerful (though he was an exceptional, and very dangerous Telepath), but because he understood the value of information, and he was a master at gathering the right people into the right place at the correct time to do the most damage to the people he hated.

  By that rea
soning, alone, I probably should have anticipated his getting out of the Farm sooner than expected, but I'd trusted the justice system to be incorruptible; it usually was, damn it!

  I had to do something now, before he got any momentum going, because if he did... I knew where his first blow was going to land - right on my head.

  Faust and I had a very troubled history. The man was a minor megalomaniac who'd gathered an army of Shadow monsters called Shaadre. He'd been determined to add me to it, and that hadn't turned out well for him. I'd beaten him at his own game and in such a way that he ended up at the Farm, where I was assured he wasn't getting out for a very long time.

  "Mathew, we're too late," Cassandra said before we'd gotten too far, "They called for objections, and nobody was there. He's almost certainly gone by now."

  I slowed to a halt and just stood there, fuming for a long moment, thinking hard. Well, if the legal system couldn't be relied upon, it wasn't like I was without options... or resources.

  I took a breath. There was no use going off half-cocked. I needed information, and there really was only one good place for that.

  "Let's go home, Dee, you can tell me what happened," I said after another moment calming myself down.

  Cassandra blinked for a second and looked at me strangely while Demise concentrated on making another Portal.

  "What?" I asked.

  "You seem different," Cassandra replied, "a little calmer. More... you, I guess. You haven't been yourself lately; it was starting to worry me."

  "Sorry," I said with a yawn and a stretch.

  "Don't apologise to me, Mathew. You have every right to be angry after what's been happening these last few months."

  "Wait until you hear about this pile," I said, gesturing around me.

  "I can guess," she replied, looking at the hostile eyes and angry postures surrounding us, "Would you like me to stomp on one or two for you?"

  "Have at it, far better you than me, I might actually hurt someone," I said slyly.

  She turned to look at me and saw the evil grin on my face. She burst out laughing, which startled a couple of onlookers.

  "I hate you, you know that?" she said, punching my shoulder.

  "And yet you stay, do I detect a hint of masochism?" I replied, massaging the (now bruised) shoulder.