Ribbing and Runes

by Nancy Warren

  He lifted the lid, and an odd expression crossed his face.

  “What is it?” I leaned forward to look. Then pulled my head sharply back again. “Ugh. It looks like camel dung that’s been petrified.” That might sound like an odd thing to say, but I’d spent enough summers in Egypt that I knew what petrified camel dung looked like. Like a baked potato in its jacket left in the oven too long. “Why would Lochlan send us camel dung?”

  “I don’t think it is from Lochlan, and it’s not camel dung.”

  He put two fingers into the box and retrieved a note. “‘To Lucy, from an admirer,’” he read aloud. “And there are instructions. ‘Break off a little of this mixture, stir it into wine and drink it. To be repeated as needed. Excellent for a youthful complexion. No expiry date.’”

  It didn’t look like anything I wanted to put in my mouth. I leaned closer and sniffed it gingerly. There was a slightly familiar scent to it, like a memory I couldn’t quite catch. Until I did.

  “What do the runes say?” If he couldn’t read them, he was exactly the man to have the right research books to figure out the message. It was no surprise when he picked up the box and studied the runes. “It translates roughly into ‘As above, so below.’”

  “That’s an alchemical saying, isn’t it?”

  “Yes.”

  Rafe said, “Alchemy is about combining opposite elements to make something very special. As above, so below, male with female, light with darkness, day with night.”

  “You with me,” I said and he smiled.

  “The metaphor holds.”

  “Why would someone send a wedding gift that’s only for you?” William asked, looking puzzled. He’d stayed to see us open the present. He was like me and loved gifts. Though maybe not this one.

  “I think the part that’s for Rafe is if I drink this stuff, it’ll keep me looking young.” I hadn’t planned to tell them about the witch who seemed not to age, but someone had forced my hand. Now I told them about meeting the Wicked Witch of Wallingford.

  “Why would the witch give you her closely guarded secret recipe?” William wanted to know.

  I shook my head slowly. “I don’t know. The whole thing doesn’t make sense. She knows I’m getting married, but she didn’t seem the type to share her secrets. I don’t trust her.”

  Rafe pulled the box away from me. “Please don’t ingest any of this until I’ve had it tested.”

  What did he think I was, stupid? “I’m not eating that stuff.” I felt queasy just thinking about it.

  “How about coffee on the terrace?” William suggested. Oh, he was good. A change of scene and a coffee would definitely help settle me.

  “Olivia’s got some ideas for floral arrangements she wants to discuss with you. I’ll send her out to you, shall I?”

  “Perfect.”

  “I’ll join you out there in a moment,” Rafe said, picking up the rune box and taking it down the hall toward his study. Good.

  “William!” I called out Sunday afternoon. “William!”

  “What are you bellowing about?” Rafe asked from behind his newspaper. Rafe wasn’t one to grab his news from an iPhone app. He still had a broadsheet delivered every morning.

  “I need stuff.”

  “What stuff?”

  “Well, cardboard. Colored felt pens. Stuff like that.”

  He looked at me, fascinated. “Might one inquire why?”

  “Yes, one might. I want to make a sign with Jennifer’s name on it for when I get to the airport. I’m picking her up tomorrow.” I felt a sudden longing to see my childhood friend. “I can’t wait.”

  He looked at me as though I might be running a fever. “Did you not tell me that this woman has been your best friend your whole life? And yet you need to hold up a sign with her name on it so you recognize each other?”

  I rolled my eyes. “It’s a joke. A fun thing. I haven’t seen her for two years.” I turned to him. “You know how celebrities and important people always have a driver standing, waiting with a sign for them at Heathrow. I thought it would be fun to do it for Jennifer.”

  “I see.” And he retreated back behind his paper.

  There was a reason I hadn’t asked Rafe for help. I kept going toward the kitchen. “William.”

  I found William muttering to himself over tiny rounds of puff pastry. “Taste these, Lucy. I’m not at all sure. I’m experimenting. These would be passed around on trays during your wedding reception. I want everything to be perfect.” We’d decided on this style of food so it wouldn’t be obvious that the vampires weren’t eating, as it would if we had a sit-down meal. There would also be a buffet table set up with more hearty fare.

  “Everything will be perfect, William.” However, I wasn’t above grabbing the small savory just to check and see. I popped it in my mouth, chewed and closed my eyes in bliss. “William, that is fantastic.”

  “You’re sure, Lucy? The mushroom flavor’s not too strong?”

  “The mushroom flavor is spectacular. Honestly, you’ll get tension headaches or an ulcer or something if you don’t relax.”

  “I want everything to be perfect. For both of you.”

  I had one of those all too frequent washes of emotion that misted my eyes. I threw my arms around William from the back and rested my cheek between his shoulder blades. “Thank you. I know it’s not going to be easy, but the future will be so much better knowing that you’re part of it.”

  He turned, and I caught a worried expression on his face. “Are you sure, Lucy? I know you’re not accustomed to managing servants. Olivia and I will do everything we can to make your lives run smoothly, but if it’s too much, perhaps—.”

  “You’re not servants. Not to me. I feel like we’re family. A team.”

  He brightened up at that. “That’s a very nice way to put it. Thank you.”

  I said, “And as part of that team, could you find me some cardboard and colored markers? Sparkles? Sequins? Fake jewels if you have them?”

  He blinked at me. “Are you planning to star in a burlesque show?”

  Oh, very funny. “No.” Again I explained my plan. Unlike Rafe, William had a chuckle and thought Jennifer would enjoy being met by somebody holding a welcome sign. By digging through drawers and raiding Rafe’s office, but most especially going through all William’s catering supplies, we found all kinds of fun things. He even helped me. “This is all left over from a child’s birthday party I catered,” he said, dragging down a plastic tub. “And this is from a golden wedding.” He dragged down another.

  As I glued plastic balloons from the kids’ party onto a big piece of pasteboard I’d covered in bright pink fabric, I said, “If I’d had time, I’d have asked Theodore to make this. But it’s more fun if I do it myself.” I pulled out a plastic tiara covered in jewels. “What do you think? Stick the tiara on top? Or pull off the jewels and stick them on separately?”

  He picked up the tiara and set it on top of my sign. “I’d attach it to the sign, and when she joins you, make her wear it out of the airport.”

  I burst out laughing. “Brilliant.”

  He pulled out a second tiara and set it on my head. “You’d best wear one yourself, too.”

  It didn’t take us too long and we had a beautiful sign. Jennifer’s name sparkled with sequins, and the sign was dotted with rhinestones, and Olivia found me a stick that we stapled the sign to so that I could hold it up. Very professional. I was practically jumping up and down on Monday morning when it was time to leave for the airport.

  Rafe said, “Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you, Lucy?”

  I shook my head firmly. “I’ll be fine.” The truth was I didn’t love driving in England, and I’d never actually navigated my way in and out of Heathrow, but how hard could it be? Besides, Jennifer and I needed some alone time. Some catching-up girl time. To that end, I’d told Violet that I was going to be late arriving at the shop. She’d heaved a huge sigh of discontent, but I was getting used to those. />
  I slipped into a pretty spring sweater in pale blue that Alfred had knit for me and wore it over cream trousers. Then I set out for Heathrow with Rafe reminding me yet again to call immediately if I had any problems.

  I walked over and kissed him. “What will you do while I’m gone?”

  “I’m still trying to make head or tail of that alchemy book. Something about it is bothering me.”

  “Probably the spell. Look, when I get some time, I’ll take a look at it too. Between us, maybe we’ll figure out what to do with it. Or who it belongs to.”

  I think that was my biggest worry. What if some witch/alchemist had misplaced this and needed it back? I knew how I’d feel if my grimoire went missing. Maybe I didn’t study it as diligently as I should, but it was always there. If I needed a spell, I knew where to go. It was part of my bloodline. Part of my heritage. I wondered if this was the heritage of someone else and they were frantically searching. It had come to Rafe in a mysterious fashion, after all. The New Zealand collector claimed not to have sold it to him. So who had? And why?

  Book collecting wasn’t particularly secretive, but the intermediary seller had disappeared when Rafe tried to contact them.

  I couldn’t worry about that now. I had my best friend to pick up at the airport. My best friend and bridesmaid. Sometimes I’d catch myself glancing at my engagement ring just to see it sitting there on my finger announcing my news to all the world.

  I got in my little red car, then got out again, as Henri the peacock had waddled up and stood behind my car, clearly waiting to be fed. I got out and scolded him while simultaneously giving him a treat. The bird didn’t seem to notice the mixed messaging. He was clearly only receiving the message that had the treat in it. Then he waddled off quite happily, and I got back in the car one more time.

  In good traffic, it was about an hour and a quarter to the airport. I gave myself two hours to account for traffic and any wrong turns I might make. I headed down on the A40, played Billie Eilish, and tried to control my excitement. Now that almost everyone was here, this wedding was getting real.

  Maybe it was the rhythmic driving or the music taking up one part of my brain and leaving some other part of it free, but I started to think about that spellbound alchemy book. I wondered if I was right and the reason Rafe wasn’t getting anywhere was because he wasn’t a witch. The New Zealand collection had been amazing, if you went in for old books, but there were no grimoires, no alchemy texts. I believed the collector when she said that alchemy book hadn’t come from her. Where, then, had it come from?

  And what about that strange gift in the rune box? Sylvia had said she might go back and try to get Karmen to sell her the secret formula to her youthful appearance. Had she? And if so, why hadn’t she signed her name to the note? That must have been a very expensive gift, and Sylvia wasn’t one to hide her good deeds.

  By concentrating hard, I managed to get to the right terminal and breathed a sigh of relief when I parked the car. I grabbed my homemade sign and tiara, ignored the surprised glances that people shot me as they saw my garish placard, and made my way into the terminal. I went up near the big exit doors where Jennifer would come out and took up my position.

  I wasn’t the only person standing there holding a sign with someone’s name on it, but I was definitely the only one that had prettied up their sign. Among the dark-suited, serious drivers holding papers and cardboard up with person or persons’ names in black felt pen, I felt that my limousine service was head and shoulders above theirs in the wow factor. No one else was greeting their ride customer while wearing a tiara.

  The plane was on time, but even so, it was probably half an hour before Jennifer came out.

  I caught sight of her before she saw me. Her dark hair had grown longer. Otherwise, she looked the same as always. Her brown eyes lit up when she saw me, and she threw back her head and laughed. It was the kind of laugh, big and brimming with personality, that made other people turn and stare. She pushed her cart loaded with luggage towards me, and when she got around the barrier, I ran to her and threw my arms around her, squealing.

  “Jen!” I cried. “It’s so good to see you.”

  “And to think I was worried I wouldn’t recognize you,” she said, hugging me back. “Two years. I haven’t seen you for two years.”

  “I know. We have so much to catch up on.”

  Before she did anything else, she grabbed my hand and stared at the engagement ring. “That is beautiful,” she said. “I can’t wait to see the groom. I’m still mad at you that you never sent me any pictures of him.”

  “He hates cameras. It’s a weird personality thing. Otherwise, he’s semi-normal.”

  As I settled her plastic tiara on her head she said, “If he’s marrying you, he can’t be very normal.”

  I chuckled. She was right there.

  We pushed her trolley to the car park and unloaded the bags into my car. “Are you moving to the UK?” I asked. There were some heavy suitcases here.

  “I wasn’t sure what I’d need. Everyone says the weather in England can be unpredictable this time of year, so I pretty much brought my whole wardrobe. My best girl’s getting married. I’m taking a vacation.”

  “I think that’s a great idea.”

  She naturally walked towards the driver’s side, as every North American does, and then giggled and re-routed herself to the passenger side.

  I told her I couldn’t talk until I’d navigated my way out of Heathrow. She yawned and obligingly kept her mouth shut until I’d managed to get all the way out of Heathrow and headed in the correct direction back towards Oxford. Then I said, “Okay, tell me everything.”

  “Well, everybody sends their best wishes and is super jealous that I got invited to your wedding and they didn’t.”

  I winced slightly. “We’re trying to keep the wedding small. Besides, I didn’t want people to have to pay a lot of money to come and see me get married.”

  “That’s okay. Everybody understands.” She leaned towards me until our shoulders bumped. “I saw the Toad.”

  I did a theatrical grimace and shudder combination. My cheating ex, Todd, would forever be the Toad to Jen and me. “I hope you told him I was getting married.” I might not care about him anymore, but I wanted to rub his nose in my happiness on principle.

  “Babe, I’ve got your back. I not only told him you were getting married, I told him you were marrying a guy with a title and a castle.”

  I burst out laughing. The crazy thing was, it was true. Rafe never used his title, but William had shown me the documents. He was Sir Rafe Crosyer, knighted by Queen Elizabeth herself. The first one.

  “And what’s the Toad doing?” I asked. I didn’t really care, but I could tell she wanted to share.

  “Well, he got downsized from his job. Because he’s an idiot. Monica and he got back together, but that’ll never last. Basically, he’s the same.”

  “Did he send me a message or anything?”

  “You know Todd. He said, ‘Some chicks get all the breaks.’”

  Then we talked more about mutual friends, though I could see those friendships already fading after two years. She said, “When are you coming home? Even just for a visit?”

  “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m sure I’ll take Rafe back to show him where I grew up, but I like it here. My life is here now. I can’t wait for you to see my little shop. I’m learning to knit.”

  “So you keep saying. Are you any good?”

  “Absolutely terrible.”

  She burst out laughing. “I learned to knit.”

  “No way.”

  “I did. When we were all stuck staying home anyway, I learned it by watching videos online.”

  “Are you any good?”

  “Not bad. I knitted a few scarves, and then I tried socks. Socks are harder than you’d think.”

  If Jen could successfully knit socks, she was way ahead of me.

  “When are your parents arriving?”

&
nbsp; “They’re already here. They’re very excited to see you.”

  “Wow. It seems ages.” She turned to me. “Do you know we’re going to be thirty this year?”

  “I had noticed that. Yes.”

  I would be first, on the twenty-first of June. Jennifer was a September baby. She said, “I sort of thought I’d be married by now or at least know what I was doing.”

  “You’re doing great.”

  “No. I’m really not.” A lorry, aka a truck, overtook me and then cut in front of me. I was in the slow lane, but apparently going at the speed limit was too slow for some drivers. Jen took off her tiara and played with it in her lap. “I quit my job.”

  Okay, this was a surprise. “You did?”

  “I was bored and not going anywhere. Well, you remember what it’s like working in a cubicle all day?”

  I nodded, so happy I never had to go back. Working in a knitting shop wasn’t always ideal, but it suited me much better than a corporate career. “But you got that promotion.” I remembered how excited she’d been.

  “I did. I think that was the beginning of the end. Working in the medical insurance field isn’t my dream job, and then I had to hire and motivate people, and I couldn’t do it anymore.” I felt the intensity of her stare, though I didn’t want to shift my eyes from the road even for a second. “We’re going to be thirty! I need to find my career before it’s too late.”

  “Okay,” I said. “You’re smart, personable. You’ll find the right thing.”

  “If only I knew what it was. I’ve always admired people who grow up knowing they want to be a doctor or astronaut or whatever. I still don’t know.”

  “We’ll figure it out. I’ll help you.”

  “Single, jobless, and thirty. Never saw that coming.”

  Why did I suddenly feel guilty? I was marrying the love of my life, loved my job, and so turning thirty wasn’t any more traumatic than knowing my youth was fading. I completely understood how Jen felt, though. “What happened with Brandon? You never said.”

  “Nothing happened with Brandon. We’d have drifted on forever if I hadn’t broken up with him. I checked the girlfriend box for him and he checked the boyfriend box for me, but it wasn’t going anywhere.” She shifted in her seat. “Maybe I’ll meet a great guy at your wedding.”