Payback (Summer Rush #6)

by Cheryl Douglas

  ***

  Bella was enjoying a rare lunch alone with her bestie while her mom babysat for Grace.

  “So fill me in,” Grace said, popping a bite of grilled calamari wrapped in spinach into her mouth. “What’s been happening with you and Loran?”

  “What makes you think anything’s happening?” He had been honoring her wish to take things slow, which was making her a little crazy. They’d had three meetings to discuss his house plans and had been out to dinner twice in the past two weeks. Both dates had ended with a kiss on her front porch… even after she invited him in for a night cap.

  Grace gave her the stink eye. “You’re really going to hold out on me? I know you’re designing his new house. You can’t tell me nothing’s happening.”

  “We’ve been out together a couple of times,” she conceded. “Outside of work.”

  “And I’m just hearing about this now?” Grace looked genuinely hurt. “I thought we told each other everything. I know you think I’m busy with Ethan and the kids now, but I’ll always have time for you. You know that, don’t you?”

  “Of course I know that.” Bella covered her friend’s hand with hers. “And I love you for caring so much, but I know you.” She sat back, wagging a finger at Grace. “If I told you I was seeing Loran you’d be pressuring me about taking it to the next level and I don’t know if we’re ready for that yet.”

  Grace’s jaw dropped as she held her hand up. “Wait a minute.” She shook her head. “Let me see if I got this right. You guys are dating but you’re not sleeping together?”

  Bella gave her a dirty look when the waiter returned to re-fill their water glasses. “Will you keep your voice down? I don’t need the whole restaurant to know I’m not getting any.”

  Grace laughed, then covered her hand with her mouth. “You and Loran… two of the most sexually active people I know… have taken a vow of celibacy? You’re joking.”

  “Not a vow of celibacy.” Though it felt like that sometimes when she watched him walk back to his truck. “We’re just taking it slow. It’s different with him.”

  “Different how?” Grace asked, wide-eyed. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? That you’re in love with him?”

  “No! God no!” And why did that question make her heart race. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s only been a couple of weeks. Besides, you know I don’t throw the L word around.”

  Grace looked sad when she said, “I hate that you’ve never been in love.”

  “It’s no big deal,” Bella lied. “It’ll happen when or if the time is right. If it doesn’t, I’m okay with that too. I love my life just the way it is. I sure as hell don’t need a man to make me happy.”

  “You think that because you’ve never found the right one,” Grace said, gently. “Or maybe you have but you’ve been determined to keep him at arm’s length.”

  “Hey.”

  Bella jumped when her brother put his arm around her and gave her a kiss on the cheek before planting one on his wife.

  “Sorry to interrupt your lunch, but Mama called and said she couldn’t find the drops for Emma’s ears and she was getting kind of fussy. She didn’t want to bother you with it, but—”

  “Oh shoot,” Grace said, holding up a small plastic bottle she’d retrieved from her purse. “I have them right here.”

  “I’ll drop them off,” Ethan said, reaching for the bottle.

  Grace gave Bella a look that begged forgiveness and understanding at the same time. “Would you mind if we cut our lunch short? I don’t want your mama to be pulling her hair out by the time I get back.”

  “Of course I don’t mind,” Bella said, waving off her concern. “Go. Lunch is on me.”

  “You’re the best,” Grace said, kissing her cheek before blowing one across the table to her husband. “But we’ll pick this up later. Promise?”

  “Sure.” When Grace left Bella asked her brother, “Have you eaten? We can ask the waiter to bring a menu.”

  “I just had a sandwich a while ago, I’m good.” He folded his arms as he watched her eat. “So, you and Loran, huh?”

  “Did he say something?” she asked, stabbing one of the strawberries in her salad with unnecessary force. She didn’t ask Loran to keep their relationships under wraps, but she assumed that would go without saying.

  “No, he shuts down whenever I mention it.” Looking amused, he added, “Kind of like you’re doing now.”

  She reached for her water glass while clearing her throat. “That’s probably because there’s not much to tell. I’m working on the plans for his new house, which I’m sure you already know, and we’ve had a couple of dinners together, but that’s about it.”

  “Mama mentioned you’re not seeing the engineer anymore. Is that because of Loran?”

  Yes. “No. It’s because I didn’t want to waste any more of his time. We wanted different things, that’s all. You know I don’t do commitment. That’s what he was after.”

  “You don’t do commitment,” he repeated slowly. “Have you told Loran that? ‘Cause I happen to know he’s not big on sharing.”

  She rolled her eyes. “How many women has he been with in the past year, E? Seriously.” Not that she really wanted to know.

  “A few,” he confirmed, watching her carefully, “and I can tell that bothers you.”

  “It does not,” she snapped. “Why would it? It’s not like we were together. Besides, I knew what he was like even before we slept together. That’s why I never expected anything to come of it.”

  “Don’t you mean that’s why you wouldn’t allow anything to come of it?”

  Now he was blaming her for what went down with Loran? So much for family loyalty. “I seem to recall you warning me to stay away from him because he was a player. Now you’re defending him?”

  “I’m not defending him.” Ethan leaned in. “And you’re right, I did warn you to stay away from him. But that was before I realized you were different.”

  She scoffed. “You just told me he’s been chasing everything in a skirt since—”

  “That’s not what I said.” He held a finger up to silence her. “Don’t put words in my mouth. You asked if he’d been with other women and I confirmed what you already knew. That he had. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t thinking about you or—”

  “Spare me.” She didn’t even know why she was getting so angry. It’s not like he’d told her anything she didn’t already know about his friend. “I don’t need to sit here and listen to you defend him. I can form my own opinions about the man, thank you very much.”

  “I just don’t want your opinion to be colored by the things I said about him when you guys were getting to know each other.” He sighed. “You’re my kid sister. I was just looking out for you. But I can see now that I was wrong to interfere.”

  Bella suddenly felt bad for giving her brother a hard time. Curling her hand around his forearm, she said, “Relax. The fact that things didn’t work out between us had nothing to do with you.”

  “You sure about that?”

  “Loran has a temper. You know that. We’ve all seen it on the field when a call doesn’t go his way and he heads back to the dugout to smash a baseball bat to smithereens.” And it was that temper, not to mention his jealous streak that still made her a little nervous. As tough as she pretended to be, she knew she was no match for a guy like Loran… or her ex.

  Ethan narrowed his eyes and Bella realized she’d said too much.

  “You don’t really think he’d unleash on you, do you?”

  “No, of course not!” She lowered her voice when the waiter shot her a curious look. “But I guess that’s why I went for Jeff. I was looking for someone a little more… passive, after my experience with Loran.”

  “I’ve always wondered about that,” Ethan said, tossing his cell phone on the table. “Your taste in men. It doesn’t add up. You’re a strong woman, yet you seem to choose weak men, with the exception of Loran. Why is that?”

&n
bsp; Because they’re less likely to hurt me.

  She laughed lightly, trying to play it off as she continued eating. “I didn’t realize I had a type. I think you’re overanalyzing.”

  “I always assumed it was because you didn’t want to get serious so you went for guys you weren’t really into, so there was no risk of you getting in too deep.”

  “Seems logical.” If only he would let it go at that.

  “But there’s more to it, isn’t there?” When she didn’t respond, he said, “Loran is the first guy you’ve been into… maybe forever. He’s antitheses of the kind of man you usually go for—”

  “Thanks for the psychoanalysis, big brother. It’s been fun.” She reached into her wallet and extracted a few bills so she wouldn’t have to wait for the waiter to bring the credit card machine. “But I really have to run. I have a meeting across town in twenty minutes.”

  Ethan grabbed her wrist before she could get away. “Give him a chance, sis.” His eyes locked with hers. “Forget everything I ever said about him and hear this: he cares about you. Don’t be afraid to care about him too.”

  Too late. She already cared about him. Maybe too much.

  Chapter Five

  Loran was sitting across from the most beautiful woman he’d ever met and he couldn’t think of a damn thing to say that didn’t involve sex. He was dying to end their third official date at his place or hers, but things had been going so well with Bella he was afraid to ruin it with the suggestion of sex.

  “So, uh, how was your day?” He chastised himself for resorting to small talk instead of manning up and talking to her about what was really on his mind: their relationship.

  “It was good.” She smiled as she spread the white linen napkin in her lap before reaching for her wine glass. “How about yours?”

  “Can’t complain. Did a bit of volunteer work.”

  “Oh yeah?” She sipped her chardonnay before asking, “Like what?”

  “Signed a bunch of autographs.” He shook out of his stiff hand for effect. “For some charity events my agent has me attending, visited the children’s hospital.” He cleared his throat when her eyes softened. “Passed by the local hospice, then hit the gym.”

  He chuckled. “A day in the life of a professional athlete during the off-season.”

  “I know a lot of athletes,” she said, leaning in. “And that’s not how most of them spend their off-season. Most are in a warm climate, lying by the pool or playing golf.”

  “My golf game sucks and the heat and humidity wears on me after a while.” He tipped his beer back. Even though they were in an upscale restaurant, he still ordered beer over wine. “Besides, if I can give back, why wouldn’t I, right?”

  “Your mother raised a good man.” She smiled, raising her glass to his.

  “Yeah, that’s what my brother keeps telling me. Seriously, my mother works in social services. She’s always tried to get us to help out when and where we can. It only seems right.” He reached for a piece of bread, though he rarely ate carbs, just to have something to do with his hands.

  Opening up had never come easily to him and he didn’t want Bella to think he was trying too hard to impress her. He was just trying to be real with her about the kind of man he was and what she could expect if she got more involved with him.

  “I was blessed with the ability to play ball. I make a stupid amount of money because of that skill. Why wouldn’t I share the wealth a little, right?”

  “So you donate not only your time, but also your money?” she asked. “Now I’m really intrigued. To what kind of causes?”

  He didn’t like talking about his charity work, but he promised himself he would always be honest with Bella if she asked him a direct question about his life. “Local homeless shelters, children’s hospital and hospice mostly. That’s where I spend most of my free time too.”

  She gaped at him. “You spend your free time at a homeless shelter?”

  “Yeah.” He shifted, feeling more uncomfortable by the minute. “Why is that so strange? What else would you suggest I do… sit around and count my money? Work on my six pack? Calculate my macros?” He didn’t realize he was scowling until after he’d taken a deep swallow of his beer. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to be an ass. I’m just used to people thinking I’m shallow and I guess by now I’d hoped you’d know me better than that.”

  “How could I know?” she asked, softly. “You’ve never told me.”

  She had him there. “I just didn’t want you to think I was trying to impress you. I’m not. I’m trying to be real with you.”

  “Then try being real with me about why you do it.”

  He swallowed, staring at her. Trying to think of any excuse to break his promise to always tell her the truth. This was personal, deeply personal. Kind of like the secret she shared with you.

  “Shortly after I signed my first big league contract my old man hit me up for a loan. I hadn’t heard from him in years so I told him to go to hell.”

  “That’s understandable.”

  Bella smiled when the waiter placed their orders in front of them. Pasta in a rose for her and chicken and steamed veggies for him.

  “He abandoned you so why should you want to help him.”

  “That’s what I thought too.” He stared at his plate, wondering how he was supposed to eat when his gut was churning. “It wasn’t until after he died that I found out he’d been evicted from his apartment after he lost his job. He ended up homeless.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said, quietly, “but you had no way of knowing that.”

  “He told me, but I thought he was lying. He’d lied to me about so many things.” He could have ended the story there. He’d told her the truth, but there was more, and he suddenly wanted to share the burden with someone who mattered to him. Someone who might understand. “It wasn’t until his doctor called to tell me he’d died that I finally got his story. He lost his job because he was sick. Stage four liver cancer. He couldn’t work anymore. So he ended up in a government funded hospice when it got too cold out on the streets.”

  Her eyes filled with tears when she looked up from her plate. “It all makes sense now, why you do what you do.”

  “I was mad as hell at him for leaving us,” he said between clenched teeth. “But he was still my father. I should have helped him—”

  “Don’t blame yourself.” She touched his hand. “There’s no way you could have known he was sick.”

  “You know how many people in those places are sick and forgotten? Nobody gives a damn about them.”

  She grimaced. “It must be terrible.”

  “It’s not bad enough they’re dying. They have to do it alone.”

  “Is there anything I can do?”

  She couldn’t have surprised him more if she told him she was in love with him. “You’d really want to help?”

  “Of course. What can I do?”

  That question just reinforced his feelings for her. He’d never met anyone like Bella and knew he never would again. That’s why he had to figure out how to make her his. Because he couldn’t imagine living the rest of his life without her… and didn’t want to.

  “There’s always looking for visitors at the hospice where I volunteer.”

  “What does a visitor do?” she asked, digging into her pasta.

  “You just talk to them, read to them, watch TV with them. Some are well enough to put a puzzle together or do a crossword. It just depends.”

  “When do you plan to go again? Could I come with you? Or would I have to go through a background check and interview with someone at the hospice?”

  “Usually, but I could vouch for you, if you’re serious?”

  “Of course I’m serious. I really want to do this!”

  He could see the enthusiasm in her eyes and it made him fall a little deeper. She cared about other people enough to take time out of her busy schedule to help a stranger who was desperate for a little kindness and understanding.

&nb
sp; “Then I’ll make the call in the morning. When are you free?”

  She reached into her purse and scanned her phone. “Um, I could probably leave the office by 6:00 tomorrow. Would that be too late?”

  “No, I sometimes pass by in the evening. Say about 7:00?”

  “That’s perfect. Thanks for letting me do this, Loran.”

  “Don’t thank me. I love that you want to do this with me.”

  “I love…” She let the word hang in the air so long he could have sworn he stopped breathing. “That you’re the kind of man who does this sort of thing.” She smiled. “I never expected this, but I think hanging out with you just might make me a better person.”

  ***

  They were standing on her front porch and Bella was ready to scream in frustration when Loran once again declined her offer of a night cap.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked, finally. “Did we somehow end up in the friend zone here?”

  He threw his head back and laughed. “You’re kidding, right? After that kiss you honestly think I’ve friend-zoned you?”

  “How else can you explain the fact that you don’t want to be alone with me?”

  He rested his hand on the door frame, pressing her body into the raised panels. “Maybe I don’t trust myself to be alone with you. Ever thought of that?”

  “This is our third date.” She licked her lips when he groaned. He was clearly aroused, but still wasn’t doing anything about it, for reasons she couldn’t understand. “And it’s not like we’ve never been together before.”

  “You were the one who wanted to take it slow. I’m just trying to respect that.”

  “By making me question whether you’re even attracted to me?”

  He hung his head, his breathing becoming harsher, almost broken. “You’ve got to be kidding. It’s killing me not to open that door right now, throw you over my shoulder and drag you up to your bedroom.”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck, and arched her back so their bodies were practically joined. “What the hell are you waiting for?”

  He curled his hand around her cheek and looked into her eyes. “The green light.”

  She blinked, hoping her green eyes flashing ‘Go’ would be the only encouragement he needed.