Evvie at Sixteen

by Susan Beth Pfeffer

  “So you would know what to expect,” Mrs. Chambers said. “It can be very lonely for these children, even those who live right here in Briarton. Oh! We have the sweetest little girl here right now, being treated for leukemia. We all love her. Her mother works, so she can only spend limited amounts of time with her daughter, and it would make all of us feel so much better if this little girl had a volunteer friend. We call them Friendly Visitors. You’d almost be a big sister to her. You’d visit with her a couple of times a week, talk about the sorts of things girls love to talk about, not about illness or family problems, but happier things. Do you think you might be interested in helping us that way, Thea? Would you like to be a Friendly Visitor?”

  Thea knew she didn’t dare say no. Anyone as noble and dedicated as she was, had to say yes, even if she then thought about it over the weekend and changed her mind. Not that she was sure she would change her mind. Being a Friendly Visitor didn’t sound any worse than fluffing up some old person’s pillow or making change for some doctor in a hurry. “It sounds really interesting,” she said. “Can I come in on Monday and learn all the details?”

  “Oh, Thea, you are as nice as I thought you’d be,” Mrs. Chambers declared. “What time shall I expect you on Monday?”

  “I’ll come straight from school,” Thea said. “Three-fifteen, three-thirty? Is that all right?”

  “I’m putting you right down in my calendar,” Mrs. Chambers said. “I can’t wait to meet you, Thea. And spend the weekend thinking about being a Friendly Visitor. The pluses are enormous, the gratification is beyond your wildest fantasies. But it can be hard as well, depressing when the treatment isn’t going well. So I won’t hold you to your yes.”

  “Thank you,” Thea said. “I’ll see you on Monday, then.”

  “Thank you,” Mrs. Chambers said. “Have a nice weekend.”

  Thea hung up the phone and wondered what she’d gotten herself into. Mrs. Chambers was about to nominate her for sainthood when all she’d done was what Nicky had told her to do. She wished the idea had been hers to begin with. It felt uncomfortable getting credit for something that had been imposed on her.

  Nicky wasn’t even in the living room as she walked out, so she went back to the kitchen, poured herself a glass of milk, and cut a slice of the zucchini bread Megs had baked the day before, and carried them up to her bedroom. Evvie was lying on her bed, ignoring the dozens of half-packed boxes that surrounded them both.

  “I’m sorry,” Thea said as she sat down on her bed, balancing the milk and bread carefully.

  “Sorry about what?” Evvie asked. “Boy that looks good. I’m going to miss Megs’s cooking when I go away.”

  “Sorry that I made you and Nicky fight,” Thea replied. “Would you like some?”

  “Thea, if I want any bread, I’m perfectly capable of getting it for myself,” Evvie said. “You don’t have to offer me sacrifices.”

  “I didn’t mean to,” Thea said. “It’s just that it’s a big piece and I thought you might like some. That’s all.”

  “Oh, Thea,” Evvie said with a sigh. “I’m the one who’s sorry. You have nothing to apologize for.”

  “I know you think you have to protect me sometimes,” Thea said. “I guess I like it that you do. Sometimes I envy Sybil because she has all of us to protect her. You don’t have anybody. I mean, I’ll protect you, but it’s not the same as having a big sister.”

  “I don’t need protecting,” Evvie said. “And you don’t, either, Thea. I stepped in because Nicky drives me crazy sometimes, the way he orders all of us around. He even tries it with Claire, and Claire never does what you order her to do, so he’s crazy to approach her that way. But that’s how Nicky is sometimes. Crazy.”

  “I wish you wouldn’t talk that way about him,” Thea said. She took a large bite of bread, and washed it down with milk. “Nicky isn’t at all crazy. And you have to admit he loves us.”

  “Oh, yeah,” Evvie said. “I admit that, all right.”

  “Then why do you sound that way?” Thea asked. “Like you know Nicky loves us but you don’t really believe it.”

  “Because things aren’t as easy as you want them to be,” Evvie replied. “Thea, I love you, but the only person I’ve ever heard you say anything bad about is Claire, and Claire drives you so crazy it’s amazing you haven’t tried to murder her.”

  “I don’t understand,” Thea said. “What’s wrong with not saying bad things?”

  “Nothing,” Evvie said. “But weren’t you angry at Nicky just now? He did force you into something you didn’t want to do.”

  “I know it seems that way,” Thea replied. “But he’s right about the family and how we all have to help out. And he’s right about you, too. You never used to talk to him the way you did today. But ever since you met Sam, you’ve had a different attitude about Nicky. Claire and Sybil have noticed it, too, and frankly, I don’t think it sets that great an example for them. Especially Claire. What is it about Sam that made you change the way you feel about Nicky?”

  “It has nothing to do with Sam,” Evvie said. “At least not the way you think it does. But I’m not going into gory details now.”

  “I don’t know what I think,” Thea said, gulping down the rest of the bread and milk. “And I don’t know what you mean. Except I liked it better when you didn’t pick fights with Nicky. And that’s just what you did today, Evvie. You picked a fight with him for no reason whatsoever.”

  “I thought there was a reason,” Evvie said. “He was bossing you around and I didn’t like it.”

  “So you bossed me around instead,” Thea declared. “You acted like I couldn’t be trusted to handle myself with him.”

  “Well, you can’t,” Evvie replied. “You always give in, Thea. You always do exactly what Nicky tells you to do. Sometimes I think it would be better if you were more like Claire.”

  “I never want to be like her,” Thea said, surprised at how angry Evvie was making her. “The only person Claire loves is herself. I love everybody in this family.”

  “That’s not true about Claire, and anyway, it’s beside the point,” Evvie said. “I worry sometimes that you don’t give yourself a chance to be happy, especially when you think that what you want might upset Nicky. Megs, too, for that matter. Or even me, offering me that damn slice of bread when it was obvious how hungry you were. Thea, you’re never going to get what you want out of life if you keep giving things up to make everybody else happy. That’s all. I want you to be happy. I want you to eat your own stupid slice of bread. I want you to stand up to Nicky if he volunteers you for something you don’t want to do, and then gets angry at you for not doing what he volunteered you for in the first place.”

  “Fine,” Thea said. “I promise you I’ll do everything to make me happy, even if it breaks everybody else’s heart. When you come home from college, you’ll find a second Claire in this house. We’ll see how much you like it then.”

  “One Claire is enough,” Evvie said. “As is one happy Thea.”

  But I am happy, Thea protested silently. How can I not be happy when I come from a family I love so much? Only there was no point in telling Evvie that. She was leaving the family. Or maybe she had already left it, left it the day she fell in love with Sam.

  No matter what changes happen in my life, Thea promised herself, I’ll keep on loving Nicky and Megs, and Evvie, and Sybil, and even Claire. Her heart was big enough for all of them, and she was going to do whatever she could to see to it that they were always happy. That would make her happy, so they were all even.

  CHAPTER THREE

  “Come in, Thea. What a beautiful girl you are.”

  Thea entered Mrs. Chambers’s office and was amused to see that Mrs. Chambers actually looked like Glinda the Good. She smiled and sat down on a chair next to Mrs. Chambers’s desk.

  “You must look like your mother,” Mrs. Chambers declared. “Your father’s coloring is so dark.”

  “I do,” Thea replied. “My
sister Claire is the only one who really looks like my father.”

  “Four daughters,” Mrs. Chambers said. “I always wanted to have a sister. I have two brothers, both older than me. I never lacked for protection, but there was no one to share secrets with.”

  Thea thought about Evvie, who’d been gone for just over twenty-four hours and who she already fiercely missed.

  “My oldest sister, Evvie, started college yesterday,” Thea said. “We shared everything. She’s at Harvard.”

  “Harvard,” Mrs. Chambers said. “Well, isn’t that impressive. Your family must be bright as well as beautiful.”

  “Evvie certainly is,” Thea replied. “I’m going to miss her so much. That’s one reason why the Friendly Visitor program sounded so interesting to me. It’s a chance for me to do something so I won’t think of Evvie quite so much.”

  “Then you are still interested,” Mrs. Chambers said. “Oh, I am delighted. And I’m sure you’ll love Gina, the little girl I told you about last week. We all just love doing things for her. Would you like to meet her?”

  Thea nodded. “What should I know about her first?” she asked.

  “Oh, not that much,” Mrs. Chambers said. “She has leukemia, which used to be fatal in just about every case, but lately there have been some real breakthroughs in treatment, and there’s a sixty-percent survival rate in its childhood form nowadays. This isn’t Gina’s first stay at the hospital, so she’s an old pro, but there’s nothing tough or hard about her. Her family is from Briarton, so her mother and her brother visit daily.”

  “Why is she getting a Friendly Visitor, then?” Thea asked. “I’d think you’d use them more for kids who live further away.”

  “That’s how we usually place them,” Mrs. Chambers said. “But Gina is a special child, and the days here in the hospital are very long. I’ll tell you what. Why don’t I introduce you, and if the chemistry is right, then you can be her Friendly Visitor. If one or the other of you has reservations, which I just can’t see happening, then we’ll find another child for you to visit with. All right?”

  “Fine,” Thea said, getting up. Mrs. Chambers smiled at her, but didn’t offer her any ruby slippers to click. Instead they walked through several hospital corridors, leaving Thea lost and confused. She’d need a Friendly Visitor herself to guide her through the hospital maze.

  “It seems confusing now,” Mrs. Chambers said, “but after a couple of times here, you’ll know your way around. All hospitals are like that, confusing at first, and then you feel at home.”

  Thea wasn’t sure she wanted to feel at home in a hospital. She hadn’t had much experience with them except on TV shows.

  “This is the wing we want,” Mrs. Chambers said. “And Gina’s ward is right through this door.” She opened it, and Thea was relieved to see it didn’t look much worse than a dormitory. Not that she’d had much experience with dorms, either.

  There were six beds in the room, and four of them were occupied. The room was large and sunlit, and there were toys casually scattered in one corner. Each bed had its own table, and the pictures on the walls were of teddy bears and rainbows, the sorts of things grown-ups often figured kids would like. Two of the kids were sleeping, one was crying, and one was reading. Thea was relieved when they walked over to the bed of the girl who was reading.

  “Gina Dozier, I’d like you to meet Thea Sebastian,” Mrs. Chambers said. “Thea, this is Gina, whom I’ve told you so much about.”

  “Only good things,” Thea assured Gina, checking her out as casually as she could manage. She was surprised to see how old Gina was, eleven or twelve was her guess. Somehow she’d pictured a much younger girl, five or six, cuddling with a doll. Instead Gina was reading TV Dreamstars magazine. Thea had read it herself at that age.

  “Gina, you know about our Friendly Visitor program,” Mrs. Chambers said. “Bucky and Marie both have Friendly Visitors who come to see them. Well, Thea would like to be your Friendly Visitor. What do you think about that?”

  Gina stared at Thea, who blushed.

  “Only if you like me,” Thea said. “If you don’t like me then I don’t have to be your Friendly Visitor.”

  Gina smiled then, and Thea started to understand why Mrs. Chambers thought Gina was so special. It was a beautiful smile. Gina was too thin to be pretty, but her smile lit up the room. Thea smiled right back at her.

  “Why don’t I leave you girls alone for a bit,” Mrs. Chambers said. “You’ll have a chance to get to know each other. Thea, after you and Gina are through, come back to my office, and we can discuss matters. Ask anyone for directions. Gina, dear, I’ll see you later.”

  Thea watched as Mrs. Chambers deserted her. She didn’t know what to do or say, until Gina pointed out a chair by her bed. Thea sat down in it and smiled some more.

  “Do you get paid for being a Friendly Visitor?” Gina asked.

  Thea shook her head. “It’s volunteer work,” she replied. “Why?”

  “I was just wondering,” Gina said. “I’ve seen them visit Bucky and Marie, and I always wondered if they got paid to. Bucky’s getting radiation treatment now. That’s Marie in that bed there, crying. She cries all the time.”

  “I guess having a Friendly Visitor isn’t the answer to all your problems, then,” Thea said. “Unless she’s crying because of her Friendly Visitor.”

  Gina smiled. “She’s crying because her parents are getting a divorce and she feels like she’s responsible. Because she’s sick. If she hadn’t gotten sick, she figures they wouldn’t be getting divorced. Are your parents divorced?”

  “No,” Thea said. “They love each other a lot.”

  “My parents are divorced,” Gina declared. “Sometimes I think it’s because of me.”

  “I’m sure it isn’t,” Thea said. “People get divorced all the time whether their kids are sick or not. Lots of times they get divorced and they don’t even have kids. I wouldn’t worry about it, if I were you.”

  “I don’t,” Gina said. “Not like Marie. Besides, my parents have been divorced for ages. I haven’t even seen my father in four years. Kip says he could even be dead. Dani says she hopes he is.”

  “Who are Kip and Dani?” Thea asked.

  “My brother and sister,” Gina replied. “They’re both older than me. I’m twelve. How old are you?”

  “Sixteen,” Thea said. “And I have a sister who’s just your age. Sybil. And another sister, Claire, who’s fourteen, and another sister, Evvie, who’s eighteen. No brothers, though.”

  “Kip is eighteen,” Gina said. “Dani is fifteen. That’s short for Danielle. Is Thea short for something?”

  “Just Thea,” Thea replied. “Is Gina short for something?”

  “Just Gina,” Gina said. “I’m the youngest. I’m in sixth grade. What grade is Sybil in?”

  “Seventh,” Thea said. “She just started.”

  “I’ve missed lots of school,” Gina said. “This is my fourth time in the hospital. Have you ever been in a hospital?”

  Thea shook her head.

  “You’re lucky,” Gina said. “They take your blood all the time, and they give you medicines that make you throw up and your hair falls out and after a while your friends don’t come and visit anymore. They think leukemia is catching, or maybe they just don’t like watching me puke. This is my own hair, though. Bucky’s bald and Marie’s hair is falling out. Those two kids sleeping are new here. I don’t really know them. I like Bucky. He’s ten, but he’s smart for his age. Marie’s okay when she isn’t crying.”

  “I’d cry, too, if my hair was falling out and my parents were getting a divorce,” Thea said. “Don’t you ever cry?”

  “Sure, sometimes,” Gina said. “Not as much as I used to, though. The first time all my hair fell out I thought it was kind of funny. I was real little then. The second time, I cried. By the second time my dad was gone.”

  “Did you miss him?” Thea asked.

  “I missed my hair more,” Gina replied. �
�What’s Sybil like?”

  “She’s funny,” Thea said. “She saves all her money, and she’s always figuring out ways to get some more. She loves to read, we all do, but she never buys any books. She takes them out of the library instead, because they’re free. And she does wonderful things with her hands. She can fix things and strip down old furniture and paint really delicate things. She had a doll-repair shop last year. Kids would bring in their broken dolls and she would fix them, even paint their fingernails and toenails. She does very well in school, too.”

  “Does she have lots of friends?” Gina asked.

  “She has enough,” Thea replied. “We move around a lot. It’s hard having friends when you move around.”

  “We move, too,” Gina said. “The place we’re living in now is really bad, it’s so small. Dani and Mom share a bedroom and Kip sleeps in the living room. Kip should be here soon. Mom visits me every afternoon, but then she leaves about three, because she has to go home and make something for supper for Dani and Kip and then she goes to work. And then Kip comes a little after four and he stays until they serve me supper. Kip graduated from high school in June. I went, and when they called his name I clapped even though you weren’t supposed to. Did your sister graduate from high school?”

  “Evvie?” Thea said. “In June. I went to her graduation, too, but I didn’t clap.”

  “Did she graduate from Briarton?” Gina asked. “Maybe she knows Kip.”

  Thea shook her head. “We just moved here a month or so ago,” she said. “Evvie went to high school in Harrison.”

  “I’ve never been there,” Gina said. “I went to Washington, D.C., once. And I’d like to go to Disneyland. Have you ever been to Disneyland?”

  “No,” Thea said.

  “They have special programs for kids with cancer,” Gina said. “The kid makes a wish and then they grant the wish. Mom applied for me a couple of times, but I never got to go to Disneyland. Does Sybil want to go to Disneyland?”