Paying the Price

by C Davis

“Of my brother?”

  “Yes.” I said, my cheeks heating up.

  “Oh, I’m sorry about being nosy, but I just—you know what, it’s nothing. I’m so stupid.”

  “What?”

  “Me and my brother has always been distant. I just wanted to see a different side of him. I understand—it’s private.”

  “Chloe, maybe one day I can let you read some. Just not the more private things.”

  “Really?” Chloe asked as her eyes lit up with excitement.

  “I’m going to go to my room.” I said, gesturing to the book.

  I sat on the bed and traced the cover of the notebook. So many memories were in here. I opened the notebook and smiled down to the first entry.

  June 3, 2017

  Colton came over tonight. He brought pizza and beer and I provided Netflix. As soon as I opened the door, he rushed inside. He set the food and beer down in the kitchen and buried his face in my chest. He acted like it would be the last time he was going to hold me in his arms. Colton kissed me like there was no tomorrow. I asked him what was wrong, but he assured me everything was fine. I know it’s not. He just didn’t want me to worry. He’s my best friend, and I feel powerless when he acts like this. Maybe something happened.

  We’ve been messing around for weeks and I only fall deeper and deeper in love with him. I can’t tell him I love him, because it would only drive him away. We’re only best friends with benefits. Nothing more. So, no, I can never tell him the truth, because he’s my only friend. It would ruin us.

  I closed the book and sighed. That was the day I realized I had fallen for him. Colton told me he was protecting me from his father after he was arrested.

  Is that why he acted like that on June 3rd?

  “Maybe this notebook has all the answers I need to uncover the truth—his truth.” I whispered to myself as I opened the notebook back up.

  June 15, 2017

  Colton came over again, but this time he wasn’t worried. He was angry—raging mad. There weren’t any words spoken when he entered my house. Just him taking me to the bedroom. This time when he fucked me, it was rough. Dominating, hardcore sex. What happened to him to act this way. Maybe it was the alcohol I tasted on his breath making him go overboard. Or, maybe he was upset with his father. He didn’t think I knew about how his father treats him, but I do. I know every time he comes over with a fresh bruise on his face or a black eye. I just wish he would trust me enough to confide in me.

  I slammed the book shut and realization washed over me. This whole time I knew—I could’ve stopped it. Could’ve stopped all the madness. It was right in front of my eyes the entire time, and I was too dumb to see—all because I was too wrapped up in Colton.

  “Oh, no, how did I not see it before?” I whispered, wiping my tears.

  “Jenna, are you okay?” Benjamin said, knocking on the door.

  “I—I’m—” I tried my best to mask the pain, but it was no use. Instantly, burst into tears.

  “Jenna!” Benjamin burst through the door and frowned.

  “I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry. If I had—” I cried out.

  “What are you talking about?” Benjamin furrowed his eyebrows.

  “It’s all my fault. I could’ve—could’ve stopped this and I didn’t. Don’t you fucking see?!”

  “Jenna none of this is your fault. Why would you think that?”

  “Because I had my suspicions and did nothing. Not a fucking thing!” I said, throwing the notebook across the room.

  “Jenna, listen to me. None of this is your fault. None. Of. It. This would’ve happened regardless.”

  “Oh no, Chloe must hate me. I’m the worst friend in the world. You must hate me.” I cried, falling back on the bed. “Everyone must hate me.”

  “Let me just go get Amber or Chloe. I’ll be right back.”

  I covered my mouth and rushed to the trashcan, throwing up. This time, it wasn’t the morning sickness. It was because I felt so much guilt. Chloe wrapped her arms around me and whispered, “What’s wrong? Is it the baby?”

  “No,” I whispered, “I’m the worst friend. I knew, Chloe. I knew and I didn’t even know it, because I was too blinded by love.”

  “Shh, you’re just upset. Remember, Dr. Alvarez said no stress.”

  “How do you and Benjamin not hate me?”

  “Because you were innocent in this, too. Please, don’t cry—Colton wouldn’t want to see you this way.”

  “I’m a mess, Chloe. I’m sorry about breaking down. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  “Pregnancy hormones are a real bitch. Come on, get into bed and I’ll bring you a ginger ale to settle your stomach.”

  “Thank you for being a friend. You know what?”

  “What?”

  “Colton was my only friend.”

  “And now you have more. You’ve got me, Benjamin, Amber, and Jeff. You don’t have to be alone anymore.” She said as she hugged me.

  “Thank you, for that. I really needed that.”

  I don’t have to be alone.

  Not now.

  Not ever.

  Letters to Colton

  ________________

  Dear Colton,

  I wanted you so bad. I didn’t realize it until you commanded me like you used to. After our visit, I went home. Wet. Horny. Needing to feel your touch. I laid back on my bed and touched myself. First, I let my hands roam my body and closed my eyes. I imagined you were here with me. Undressing me as your lips kissed my neck. Getting me ready for you. Then, I let my hand travel south to my pussy. I circled my clit and moaned out your name. I moaned out to you as you explored my body. I silently cried out, “Please, Colton. Take me now.”

  I kept circling my clit as my free hand took my nipple between my thumb and index finger. My breaths became shallow as I bring myself closer. I arched my back, curling my toes, feeling the excitement of my release right there, but still so far away. I remembered how you used to tell me to bring myself close to the edge, but hold it in. I imagined you whispering in my ear, “Don’t come until I tell you to, Princess.”

  The moment I opened my eyes, I felt my stomach tighten and lost all control. I came all over my hand, knowing you would be pleased to know that I thought of you. The next time I come to visit you, I want you to command me like you did. Tell me to spread my legs for you. Make me slide my hand between my legs. Slip my finger inside and fuck myself. Maybe, next time, tell me to keep going. Watch me come all over my finger and when I’m done… lick the juices off my finger and taste me. Feel me.

  Love,

  Jenna

  P.S.

  I forgive you, and yes—I still love you. More than ever.

  Chapter 13

  __________

  Colton

  “Here, this came for you.” The guard said, sliding an envelope across the table.

  Was this the…

  Fuck.

  Of course, it was.

  I hurried back to my cell and sucked in a breath. I tore it open and began to read. My cock hardened just reading how Jenna touched herself thinking of me. I sucked in a breath and whispered harshly, “Fuck me.”

  I lowered myself down on my bed and laid back. Not once had I jacked off since I’d been locked up. Just after seeing Jenna and sucking the juices off her finger made me want to. So damn bad. Now that I’m reading this, it’s making me want to stroke my cock to her words. Some men in here have porn to get themselves off to, but me—I have a special porn. I’ve got word porn from the woman I love.

  I opened up the letter again and continued to read. Fuck me, she wants me to command her to touch herself and watch her writhe as she brings herself to orgasm. Right in front of everyone. I don’t like other people watching, especially other men. Prisoners to be exact. A part of me wants to deny her, but another part of me wants to see her silently moan my name.

  After our visit, I went home. Wet. Horny. Needing to feel your touch. I laid back on my bed and touched mysel
f. First, I let my hands roam my body and closed my eyes. I imagined you were here with me. Undressing me as your lips kissed my neck. Getting me ready for you. Then, I let my hand travel south to my pussy. I circled my clit and moaned out your name. I moaned out to you as you explored my body. I silently cried out, “Please, Colton. Take me now.”

  I glanced down to my lap and bit my lip. I was hard—throbbing as I re-read her words. I set the letter down and took a deep breath. I didn’t need to read it again to remember what it said. I already knew it by heart.

  I slipped off my shirt and laid it next to me as I got comfortable. Tugging my pants down, my cock stood glaring at me. It was angrily begging me to wrap my hand around it and stroke it. I glanced over to make sure nobody was around and wrapped my fingers around my length. I closed my eyes and imagined it was Jenna. She would gently stroke me as she ran her tongue around the head. Teasing me. Making me so hard it hurt. Then, she would take me fully into her mouth and suck me. Suck me until I couldn’t take it anymore.

  “Fuck, Jenna.” I hissed, stroking myself as more of the letter rang through my head.

  I kept circling my clit as my free hand took my nipple between my thumb and index finger. My breaths became shallow as I bring myself closer. I arched my back, curling my toes, feeling the excitement of my release right there, but still so far away. I remembered how you used to tell me to bring myself close to the edge, but hold it in. I imagined you whispering in my ear, “Don’t come until I tell you to, Princess.”

  I vigorously pumped my cock, bucking my hips as I imagined her bent over the altar in the church. She would sound like she was praying, but I knew better. She would be backing her ass up against my cock as I teased her needy cunt. She would scream out as I slammed into her, pushing her closer to the edge. Making her want to come for me, but knew better. I would lean down and whisper, “Come for me, Princess. Scream my name as you squeeze my cock.”

  I thrust my hips and threw my head back, pretending it was her pussy clenching down on me. My breaths became hard, more labored as I pumped harder and came on my chest. When I opened my eyes, my chest heaved up and down. I relaxed my muscles and whispered to myself, “Fuck that felt so good. Needed that.”

  I quickly cleaned myself up and changed into a clean pair of pants and shirt. I took the letter and tucked it underneath my pillow before anyone could walk by. Or worse, Javier comes back from his session with the therapist.

  I laughed, “He’s probably got that woman over her own desk, plowing into her from behind.”

  A few hours later, Javier stepped in and grinned. “That was such an intense session. That woman—oh fuck me, she’s amazing.”

  “Is that what we’re calling sex now? Sessions?”

  He whispered in my ear, “Call it what you want, but you know I’ve got to be careful. You never know who could be listening. And, I also don’t want the pretty little thing to lose her job.”

  “You’re in love with her.” I stated.

  “It’s just a fuck.”

  “No. You’re in love. I should know, because that look in your eyes—that’s how I look when I think about Jenna.”

  “Fuck. This is bad.”

  “No, maybe it’s a good thing.”

  “No.” Javier narrowed his eyes, “She can never fall for me and I can never fall for her.”

  “Why?”

  “Because—her brother is the one who got me locked up.”

  “You mean—”

  “I’m not using her, if that’s what you think. It’s the other way around. She’s using me as a revenge to her brother. She came to me and I agreed. I would never turn down a sexy lady like that.”

  “What is it she wants?”

  “She wants me to give her a baby.”

  “That’s fucking insane. How is she going to take care of he or she?”

  “She has always wanted a baby, but also wanted revenge on what he did to her.”

  “And what did he do?”

  “He killed his best friend after finding out he was fucking his sister. Then, kicked her in the stomach—killing her child.”

  “And, this fucker isn’t behind bars like us?”

  “Corruption, Colton. You have no idea how many corrupt people there are in law enforcement, politicians, even the government. Hell, even your old high school teacher could be dirty.”

  “Ain’t you preaching to the choir. My father was a preacher and her was the most crooked son of a bitch you would ever meet.”

  Chapter 14

  __________

  Jenna

  I stood in front of the mirror and studied my placed my hand over my stomach. I was gong to be a mother. Holy shit. I was going to have a baby. I turned on the faucet and splashed water on my face. I reached for the towel only to realize it wasn’t there. I quickly opened my eyes and sighed in relief when Amber stood there holding out the green towel for me.

  “Christ, you scared me.”

  “Sorry, but it’s important I talk to you. Something happened.”

  I wiped my face with the towel and asked. “What is it?”

  “When I went to open the shop, it was already unlocked. Jenna, when I entered—the place had been trashed.”

  “Tommy.” I whispered.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your fault. Was anything taken?”

  “No, but there’s a message for you. It’s more like a fucked-up love note if you ask me.”

  Benjamin and Jeff stood in the door, eyes narrowed. The muscles in Benjamin’s jaw clenched as he zeroed in on the note Amber was holding. Jeff closed his fists as Amber turned around and hold out her arm. Benjamin snatched the paper from her and read. His eyes widened, his jaw slack from whatever message is scrawled on the paper.

  “What the fuck is this shit, Amber?!” Benjamin growled.

  Jeff snatched the note from Benjamin and had the same reaction Jeff did. “Yes, what the fuck is this?!”

  “Like I told Jenna, when I went to open the shop, it was already unlocked. Jenna, when I entered—the place had been trashed. Then, I found the note on her desk in the office. I didn’t—”

  “Why didn’t you tell someone?” Jeff said, his anger rising.

  Amber shoved Jeff to the wall and hissed, “This is me telling you! You want to be an asshole. Fine. By. Me. You know what, I’m out of here.” Amber said, storming out the door.

  “Don’t even think about it, Amber. You aren’t going anywhere—not when Mr. Crazypants is still out there.” Jeff yelled, running out after her.

  I wrapped my arms around my waist and whispered. “Why, Benjamin? Why is Tommy doing this to me?”

  He sighed and shook his head. “I don’t know. I wish I could tell you it will be okay, but then I would be lying. I won’t lie to you. Colton’s crazy.”

  “Well yeah, everyone knows how he is.”

  “No,” Benjamin placed his hands on my shoulders and looked directly into my eyes. “Colton is certified crazy. Psycho. Looney. Tommy’s cheese slid off his cracker. He’s as crazy as it gets.”

  “Oh, God.” My body trembled as a cold chill went down my back.

  “Shh, don’t worry. I’ll call Tilly to see if she can bring over the paperwork for the restraining order.”

  “I’m scared.” My voice trembled, fear and dread in the pit of my stomach.

  “Why don’t you go downstairs with Chloe? I’ll make sure the property is secure.” Benjamin wrapped his arm around my shoulders, leading me into the kitchen.

  “Ben, can you tell me something?”

  “I’m not going to tell you what the note said.”

  “Please, I need to know.”

  “Just know I’m going to take care of this. I won’t let him hurt my family.”

  “Family?”

  “Like we said before, you’re family. You, me, Chloe, and Colton. We protect our own.”

  “I—I need Colton.” I buried my hands in my face and silently sobbed.

  Benjamin cursed
under his breath and held me close. “Shh, it’s okay. Don’t cry, Jenna. I hate when women cry.

  “I want Colton—need him to tell me everything is going to be okay.”

  “Dammit, Colton.” Benjamin cursed under his breath, “Why did you have to get yourself locked-up?”

  Chloe rushed to my side as Benjamin helped me into the kitchen. I just can’t handle it anymore. I let all the emotions I’ve kept buried inside out. So much anger. Heartbreak. And now, fear and dread washed through my body.