He lets out a low whistle, and I laugh a little through my tears.
“But it was more than that,” he goes on. “I actually felt as if I knew you. We’d known each other such a short time, and yet I felt so close to you.”
“I felt the same way,” I whisper.
“I left because I thought that if I tried to make it work out, I’d tear myself apart,” he says. “How could I go back to Avaran and leave my heart with you? Not knowing when we’d next be able to be together?
“I was afraid, Erica. I was a coward, I admit it, but I was afraid it would hurt me too much to try. I believed that if I left you behind, I’d be able to move on. I believed we both would, and that it would hurt us less in the end.”
“I haven’t moved on,” I tell him. “I haven’t been able to leave you behind.”
“Neither have I,” he says.
I shift closer to him.
“And I think this baby is a sign,” he says. “It’s a sign that I went about the whole thing all wrong. I should never have left. I should have been stronger. Bolder, like you.”
“Like me?”
“You were bold enough to walk into the palace and demand to see me, after all.” He shakes his head admiringly. “And we’re both lucky you were. Because I think you and I are meant to be together.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. My hands are shaking, and I find myself gripping the edge of the rock I’m perched on, trying to keep steady.
“Is that really how you feel?” I ask.
“All this time,” he says, “I’ve been kicking myself for failing to get your phone number. I spent weeks trying to put you out of my head, Erica. When the final episode of Royal Blue aired, I couldn’t watch it. I couldn’t even bear to look up the plot online, because even reading about Princess Aeryn would have forced me to think of you.”
“You should have tried turning to other girls,” I say, chuckling a little.
“It would have been monstrously cruel to them if I had,” he says, shaking his head. “When all I could think of was you? I couldn’t use people that way, as distractions. And no one else could possibly have distracted me anyway. It would be like…” He pauses, searching for an apt comparison.
“Like being distracted from gravity,” I supply.
“Exactly!” he says, slapping his hand against the rock. “No matter what you turn your attention to, gravity will continue to exert its force.”
“That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling,” I say.
“And I can only beg your forgiveness,” Alex says. “It was wrong of me to leave the way I did—it might have been the biggest mistake of my life. And thank God you decided to come and find me. I don’t deserve this second chance. But I’m asking for it anyway.”
“God,” I say. “Alex. Of course. You don’t have to ask. Of course.”
He catches me up in his arms at that, and I feel as if I might drown in my relief and gratitude. So long I’ve worried about what would happen when I found him again, when I told him the truth. But this couldn’t have gone any better. He’s not just accepting me and our baby. He wants me. He’s glad about it. And he’s put to rest all my fears about his government rejecting him because of me.
Sitting in his arms on this rock, looking out at the waves, I feel safe and secure for the first time in a long time. I know everything’s going to be okay. Better than okay. It’s going to be wonderful. Alex and I are really going to be together.
And I don’t know what that means exactly. I don’t know what it’s going to look like. Alex is royalty, and that’s going to make things complicated. I’m sure there will be things expected of me, and of my unborn child. But right now those worries feel far away, unable to touch us. I feel just as distant from the concerns that once plagued me about how we would balance our lives. I have Royal Blue to think of, and he has his country, and neither one of us can just walk away to be with the other.
And I can’t make myself care about that at all. Not now.
All I care about are his hands, now turning me to face him, now tipping my chin up to him. All I care about are his lips as they find mine.
The salty air swirls around us, lifting my hair off my shoulders. Alex’s hands slip beneath the hem of my shirt and up my back as he pulls me to him. I feel that I’m at the edge of the world, where it no longer matters who’s a prince and who isn’t, who’s from Avaran and who’s from Ohio. All that matters are our bodies finally finding each other, despite all the factors that have conspired to pull us apart.
I’m crying as we’re kissing, overcome by a mess of emotions that will probably take days to sort out. Alex strokes my hair and murmurs things I don’t understand. I don’t need to understand. I have no doubts left. Everything he’s feeling is exactly what I’m feeling, and everything he wants is exactly what I want. I can feel the joy and the relief in his touch, the giddy excitement in his kiss.
For the first time since we parted, the future looks bright, and suddenly it’s almost too bright to look at.
If this is going to be my life—a family, just like I’ve been wanting, with Alex by my side and a baby of our own—then I can die happy, because what else is there in the world? What more could I possibly want?
Chapter 13
I’m expecting Alex to pull away and wait for me to gather myself, because I’m sure there isn’t anything attractive about watching me go to pieces like this, but to my surprise, his kisses don’t stop. They trail away instead, down the length of my jaw, allowing me space to breathe. But he doesn’t want any distance between us any more than I do.
At some point my tears dry. It’s hard to say when, exactly, because my breathing never levels out. I’m still taking in air in great gasps as he finds sensitive spots along my shoulder, in the crook of my neck, behind my ear.
Every other man I’ve been with seems to have had the belief that all women’s bodies are exactly the same, leading them to spend hours doing things to me that their past partners liked but that do nothing for me. But Alex is different. He’s attuned to my responses. Every time my breathing quickens or a tiny moan escapes me, he knows he’s found something and focuses his attention on it.
He pulls me astride his lap. I’ve never been so glad to be wearing a skirt in all my life. It would be a simple matter to reach down and shift my panties aside, but before I can do that, he catches both my wrists and holds them, gently but firmly, in one massive hand.
I whine a little and grind my hips forward. The rocks are hard under my knees in this position, but I don’t care. I want more.
Alex chuckles lightly, his face still nestled against my neck, and I’m infuriated. I want him to feel just as strung out and desperate as I do. I want him to need me as badly as I need him. But with his hand on my wrists, there’s nothing I can do. He’s in full control of the situation.
My only recourse is to keep pressing my hips into his, but that’s driving me just as crazy as it is him, and I’ve had a head start.
“Take it easy now,” he murmurs in my ear, and wow, that does not help.
“Take me back to your cottage,” I growl back at him.
“You don’t like it here on the rocks?”
Damn it, he’s toying with me. How dare he?
I lean forward, elbows out, hoping to catch him in the chest and knock him onto his back, but he’s so much stronger than me that it has absolutely no effect. I might as well be attacking a brick wall.
A thrill of excitement courses through me. I’ve never been in a situation like this, where everything is completely out of my control.
It’s a stunning thing to realize, and as I acknowledge the fact that whatever happens next is in his hands, I cease struggling to knock him over or get closer to him. Whatever’s going to happen will come when it does, and there’s nothing for me to do but wait.
“Let’s go back to the cottage,” I say one last time, but I’m not growling now, not demanding. I’m begging. I want a bed and pillows and Alex, miles
of clean sheets and hot skin and nothing else in the world.
He turns me in his arms so I’m facing out to the sea.
“Look,” he says quietly. “Just look at the water.”
I look out, watching the waves chop their way toward us. Alex’s arms encircle me, one wrapping my torso from hip to shoulder, the other tight around my waist, and then he lifts me from the rock and stands me on my feet. He takes my hands again and places them, palms down, on the gritty surface of the rock, so I’m still staring out at the sea.
He wraps his body over mine. “I want you,” he whispers. “I want you right here.”
He can have me anywhere.
“Take me, then.”
I feel the rush of sea air as he lifts my skirt and slides my panties down to my ankles. I don’t bother to step out of them, and he doesn’t bother with the rest of my clothes. We’ve been waiting too long for this moment, and now I feel like it was bound to happen, like nothing on earth could have kept us apart.
And I understand, now, why he wanted to be here, as he moves in time with the crashing of the waves. It’s as if the chemistry between us is as natural and organic as the ocean itself, and as powerful, too. Everything feels big and strong, desperate and crashing, and the sounds of the sea swallow my cries of pleasure.
I lose track of time, standing there on the edge of the world, Alex and I wrapped around each other and moving as one. It feels like we’re a fixture, a feature of this beach. Maybe this is where we belong. Maybe this is where we’ll always be.
My head is cloudy with lust and exhaustion, and I don’t want him to stop. I hope he never stops, but my knees are weak, and my legs are shaking, and it’s all just been too much, too good—
He stops.
I moan softly. “No…”
“Come here.” His voice is suddenly gentle, much more gentle than it’s been since we began. He slips his arms under my shoulders and lifts me upright, turning me to face him. “Erica.”
“Why did you stop?”
“I didn’t want to.” He rests his fingers on my upper arm, and I’m surprised to find that it hurts. “You must have scratched it on the rock,” he says, looking pained. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I don’t mind it.”
He scoops me off my feet and into his arms. “Let’s go inside,” he says, striding off toward the cottage.
“I didn’t want to stop, though,” I protest.
“Oh, believe me, I’m not done with you yet.”
“Is that a promise?”
His only answer is a feral grin.
Alex is as good as his word. When we get back to the cottage, he insists on washing my cut, arguing that it could get infected. No sooner has he applied a Band-Aid, he’s stripping out of his pants.
I can see immediately that I don’t have to worry about him neglecting me. His self-control is positively masterful, but he’s as wildly turned on as I am, and there’s no way our lovemaking is done.
The bed is laid with the softest sheets I’ve ever felt in my life. Alex lays me down and moves on top of me, his warm brown eyes roving over my body.
“You’re perfect,” he whispers, lifting a hand to trace from my shoulder over my torso and down to my hip. He pauses for a moment on my stomach, feeling the flat expanse that we both know will swell soon enough. “Perfect,” he says again, shaking his head in what looks like wonder.
Our lovemaking is much slower now, blissfully, agonizingly slow, and again I curse Alex’s otherworldly self-control, because I just want to wrap my legs around him and pull him as close as possible.
His eyes hold mine the entire time. I feel so close to him, as if we can understand each other’s thoughts, and I know we’re both thinking the same thing: Thank God. Thank God we found each other again. This will be our life now—beautiful nights filled with each other, and days spent raising and nurturing the child we’ll soon have.
The sun dips below the horizon outside. I know we must have been at it for hours. I feel utterly pliable—Alex could do whatever he wanted right now, and I’d welcome it—and I can tell his control is finally starting to slip. He’s increasing the pace, his fingers digging into my hips, pulling me to him with every thrust, and yet we haven’t broken eye contact. At some point, my hands found their way to his upper arms, and I’m gripping his biceps.
Alex cries out, his voice sudden and loud, his body spasming forward. Just the sound of his cry is enough to cue another spike of pleasure in me, and I gasp and throw my head back, exposing my neck. Right on cue, his mouth finds that sensitive place and I feel like I’m about to explode.
And now I do wrap my legs around him, and my arms too, keeping him close, holding him against me until he’s finished, until we’re both finished. My fingers stroke slowly up and down his spine as our ragged breathing slows and steadies, until we can no longer feel the wild pounding of each other’s hearts.
He rolls away slowly, but pulls me with him, bringing me to rest my head on his shoulder. I curl my leg over his.
Neither of us says anything for a long time. It’s enough to be here, in the moment, together. It’s enough to know that the future will belong to us as a pair now.
Chapter 14
This time, the night seems to pass in the blink of an eye. The next thing I’m aware of is the sun, coming in bright off the water and through the bedroom window. I roll away from it and bury my face in Alex’s shoulder, and he stirs, his arm tightening around me.
“Good morning.”
“Hi,” he says, his voice thick with sleep.
He sits up and kicks off the blanket, stretching, highlighting all the magnificent muscles in his back. I take in the sight.
“So you’re a morning person,” I say as he gets to his feet.
“Not at all, actually,” he says with a grin. “I just find myself with an uncommon amount of energy this particular morning.”
I have to admit, I’m in the same state. I sit up and draw my knees up to my chest.
“I think I left my panties out on the beach.”
He bursts out laughing. “No objections here!”
“Yeah, well, that’s fine for you, but I only brought a dress, and if a gust of wind comes along, Avaran is going to get a free show. Can you take me back to my hotel?”
“Do you want to go right now?” he asks.
“No, of course I don’t,” I say. “I don’t want to go ever, Alex. But…” I study my fingers. “I came out here to tell you about the baby, and now that I’ve done that, I have to get back home.”
I can’t look at him for a long moment. When I do, he’s staring at me as if I’ve sucker punched him.
“You’re going home?” he says. “Already? You just got here. I thought you’d want to see the city. I was going to introduce you to my family. And don’t you want to take a tour of the palace? This is the country your child is going to rule, Erica.”
There’s a thought I can’t quite get my head around yet.
“I know that,” I say. “I get it. But I’m in the middle of a film shoot right now. They’re waiting for me. And once it comes out that I’m pregnant, I’m not going to be able to get any more work for a while. Not until after the baby comes, not until after I get my figure back.”
“What about Royal Blue?” Alex asks.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’ll have to talk to the producers. But my responsibility right now is to finish the project I’m on, so I have to go back to LA.”
“I can’t believe it,” he says quietly. “I never thought I would lose you again so soon.”
I stand up and cross the room, embracing him, letting myself be held.
“We’re not losing each other,” I say. “We’ll see each other again soon. And it won’t be like before, either.” I grab his phone off the nightstand and punch in my number. “There. Now you can call me. We can talk to each other every night if we want to. It won’t be like it was before.”
“It won’t be like seeing you every
day, either,” Alex says, his voice filled with regret. “It won’t be like having you in my arms, and in my bed.”
“Soon,” I breathe. I close my eyes and press my forehead to the hard heat of his chest. “Soon it will be like that all the time.”
“I’ll drive you back to your hotel,” he says. “And the airport after that?”
“No,” I tell him. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you like that, half in and half out of a car on the side of the road with everyone around us honking and baggage handlers giving us dirty looks. We’ll say goodbye at the hotel, where we can do it in private. Besides, we don’t want to be photographed together until you’ve had a chance to talk to your family and your parliament. We should be the ones to share our news, not some tabloid journalist.”
He nods “You’re right. That makes sense. But…that means I have to ask you to do something difficult.”
“I expected it,” I assure him.
“I have to ask you to keep the pregnancy a secret,” he says. “Just for now. Just until the time is right for us to go public.”
“I completely understand that,” I say. “I’m a public figure, too. I’ll have to discuss with my agent what the best way to go public is. But I’ll include you in that discussion. We’ll decide together.”
“You can keep it quiet?” he asks.
“It won’t be a problem,” I say. “Trust me. I have a lot of experience with protecting my private life from the public eye.”
“I can believe that,” he agrees. “All right. But before we go, will you at least allow me to make you some breakfast?”
“I think I can allow that,” I say with a grin.
Alex makes crepes and brings them to me in bed. Before he joins me, he throws open the curtains so that I can look out at the beach and the ocean waves rolling in beyond.
Baby Surprises 7 Book Box Set Page 99