Dreams of the Fae: Transcendence

by Anna Patrick Paige

  “FUCK!” He expelled a fitful roar, digging his nails into his scalp. “Damn it, Aya. You’re not concentrating on anything!” The boom of his frantic, stentorian voice scared me. “I can’t train you properly if you refuse to remember the first thing about physical combat when a man comes close to you. Are you truly going to allow your defenses to fall if someone tries to kiss you?”

  “What?” Confounded, I tried to stand, but my legs had yet to recover.

  “I don’t care what lascivious thoughts are going through your head. If someone is trying to kill you, yielding to an attraction isn’t going to keep you alive.” His chest vibrated when his shoulders reached a new level of tension.

  “That was training? Are you kidding me?” I shrieked, slamming my fists into the ground. It couldn’t be possible. What kind of monster could fake emotion like that? The ardency in his breath. The massaging of his lips on my skin. It had felt real. Was I that naive? “How dare you!” I reached an unpleasant octave. “You’re supposed to be instructing me, not seducing me!”

  “Intriguing to find out what happens to you, Aya, when you’re aroused by the person who is attempting to kill you.” He ripped his hair as he tore his hands from his head. “As it turns out, you aren’t that difficult to seduce.”

  I screeched and stumbled to my feet, only to stomp like a child throwing a tantrum. “I would never be attracted to someone who is trying to kill me.”

  “Oh no?” He took a menacing step in my direction. “Then explain what’s going on with you and me.”

  My legs recommenced their quivering. “You are so insane! What are you talking about?”

  “Do you think I don’t know about the lustful effect I have on you?” His shoulders bunched, as if the words had been extremely difficult for him to say.

  My jaw fell. All my efforts to hide the way my body betrayed me around him had not gone unnoticed, but whether Darric was acting on something he personally felt or training me, neither was acceptable. I covered my mouth, trying to control the rising inferno of rage and humiliation.

  “This is your second warning,” he threatened in a blander tone.

  My blood turned molten. “Go to hell, Darric!”

  I had to get away from him. I had to get out of this forest. I headed for the exit, my feet stumbling over piles of fallen petals, but once I reached the layered crag, I stopped dead.

  I couldn’t leave.

  If I left, it was over.

  My training would come to an abrupt and immediate end.

  No abandoning a lesson due to emotion or exhaustion.

  Contracted to endure anything and everything Darric Ursygh decided was conducive to my training.

  I took a step back from the crag and screamed, forcing the anger and frustration from my chest. After the violent howl faded, I gulped in a sharp breath and tried to extinguish the urge to march back to Darric and punch him.

  As much as I wanted to berate him for kissing my neck, I couldn’t. Not because I feared punishment or losing my training but because I was furious at myself for loving it. I hadn’t stopped him. I hadn’t fought back. I had pressed into him and dug my fingers into his hair to pull him closer. I had turned my head expecting to feel his lips cover mine, and in that moment, I had wanted nothing else.

  “We’ll be alone?” I had asked.

  “Against my better judgment, yes.” His statement made more sense now.

  My legs gave out, and I crumbled to the forest floor. Tears flooded my eyes. I tilted my head back to prevent them from falling, but they spilled over and dripped down my temples.

  I heard the crunching of footsteps, then Darric let out a heavy sigh. “I thought you were about to walk out of here.” His knees raked against my spine as he knelt down behind me.

  I curled into a tiny ball. “Me too.”

  “Thank you for not leaving,” he whispered. The trembling in his body transferred into my back.

  My watery eyes darted around the colorful blooms. “I can’t leave. We made an agreement. If I walk out, it breaks the contract.”

  “You care that much about learning to fight that you would allow me to subjugate you? There’s something profoundly disturbing about that.”

  “You told me I had to endure anything you decided was constructive. You said your methods were unorthodox. I accept that.” I buried my head in my knees, muffling my voice. “I’m sorry. I’ve never been touched like that before.”

  A crestfallen growl rumbled in his throat. “And you still shouldn’t have been. I don’t want you to think sexual gratification is part of your training.” He paused for a moment, the rustling of wind through the branches and the distant chirp of birds seemed amplified by his silence. “You asked me . . . and I never answered you. Actually, I avoided answering you.” He pulled my hair away from my face so the locks tumbled down my back, then leaned next to my ear. My shoulders shivered when his breath hit my skin. “Aya, you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. You push the limits of my self-control to the very edge of breaking. And, to add insult to injury, you have this captivating and tenacious little personality that is making me damn near insane.”

  I swallowed hard. The lump in my throat didn’t move.

  “What just happened should not have occurred. I caved. I was not expecting your reaction. I thought you’d be angry—fight harder. And instead of apologizing for my actions, I twisted it and tried to blame you.”

  Finding my courage, I turned to face him. He was so close I was sitting between his legs. “But you weren’t wrong about what you said. The lustful effect you have on me.” I leaned back to see him in his entirety.

  “I know.” His eyes fell. “I was hoping you’d realize it’s the same for me. Being in this forest alone with you has been challenging, to say the least.”

  Speechless, my lips parted. How could Darric feel anything towards me except the hatred he openly displayed?

  “I am your instructor. I had a weak moment. It won’t happen again. If I don’t swear this to you, I’m not sure that us coming out here together will be able to continue.”

  My heart missed a beat as I listened to him vow never to touch me again. The thought cut deeper than I expected. “If I asked you to end today’s lessons, would you allow it?”

  “You want to go back to the Hovel?” he confirmed.

  I nodded, brushing tears from my temples.

  He hesitated, revealing the enormity of his want to force me back into compromising positions under him. Finally conceding, he held out his hand to help me from the ground. “We’re done for today.”

  I revisited the strange events in my mind the entire walk back to the Hovel. Analyzing every word Darric had said. Reliving every disorienting touch. Imagining what his lips might have felt like against my mouth.

  “Aya?” He finally spoke in the last seconds before we reached the cavern. “Where and how did you obtain a Medial Hell Squad dagger?”

  I agonized for a moment, wishing for the first time he knew I was Divine. “I can’t tell you.”

  He scoffed bitterly. “Of course not.”

  The fire was blazing as the cavern came into view, the bear meat tripod replaced with a steaming cauldron.

  Darric tensed when he spotted Bromly moving around the fire. “Shit,” he drawled.

  “Where have you two been?” Bromly pried, eyeing the reddish bruise along Darric’s cheekbone. “What happened to you?”

  “Is Flint awake?” Darric deflected.

  “Lucky for you, no.” Bromly forced a wavering smile. “Good afternoon, Aya.” He scratched his beard, observing the conspicuous tension between us, and cleared his throat. “Both bear pelts are drying and most of the meat has been smoked. Flint and I are ready for another kill. We should be able to process one more before Burge. Just nab a male this time.”

  “It’s still early. There should be a few by the river.” Darric left to rouse his younger brother.

  “Aya.” Bromly tapped his cheekbone, pushing into the
chubby skin under his eye. “I don’t know what happened or how you did it, but thanks. He’s deserved it lately.”

  Flint stumbled through the front door, catching his leg in the pelt and barely managing to maintain his footing. “I’m half-asleep,” he hollered. “I haven’t stretched.”

  Irritated, Darric shoved the fur aside, Flint’s bow in hand. He tossed the weapon at his brother, hitting him in the chest.

  “You foul jackass.” Flint rubbed his fists into his eyes to remove the crusted sleep in the corners.

  Darric pulled the hood of his cloak over his head and left the cavern.

  Flint snatched his bow with a mumbled half yawn, then frowned at my comfortable seat by the fire. “Aya, you’re comin’ too, right?”

  “Flint!” Darric called impatiently.

  I raked the tip of my shoe against the stone floor. “I’m going to stay behind.” I did not want to witness another kill of that magnitude, and I had a permanent reminder of the first chaotic experience marring my hand. “Bromly could use some help around the Hovel. You two go without me.”

  “Bromly’ll be fine,” Flint griped.

  “It wasn’t a pleasant experience, and I—”

  “A fiasco,” Darric interrupted. “It’s not happening again. She is staying here from now on.”

  “No, we need her.” Flint took my wrist, intent on pulling me to my feet.

  I held my ground and stayed seated. “Please don’t make this a problem.”

  Flint sneered at Darric and dropped my hand.

  “This is my decision,” I added, but Flint’s pale skin had already gained the fiery color he turned when angry.

  “It’s not right.” He plucked his quiver from the side of the house and trudged outside.

  “So eager to get her killed,” Darric provoked, and the sounds of an ensuing argument faded into the distance.

  “Are they going to be all right on their own?”

  “Black eyes are usually the worst of it.” Bromly snickered, handing me a potato and carving knife. “So, spending some quality time with Darric this morning?”

  I avoided looking at him and shaved a long brown curl away from the spud. “Darric isn’t as callous as Flint makes him out to be.”

  He grinned in the same derisive manner I’d often seen on Darric. “I know that. And yet you decided to give him what looks like a damn good right hook.”

  “That was because of . . . something else.” I rotated the knife in my hand. “An extenuating circumstance.”

  “It’s okay by me.” He laughed. “It’s about time someone decked him. I’m just surprised he let you do it.”

  “It’s a little like hitting a stone wall.”

  “Don’t I know it.” He tugged at the hanging bear pelts, and the skins dimpled in his hand, having dried into supple blankets. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with him.”

  I abruptly stopped peeling my potato. “I don’t know what you mean.” You are a terrible liar.

  His forehead wrinkled. “I’m not getting involved with any of it, but don’t think things go unnoticed around here by everyone.”

  I nodded, refocusing on the spud. Thankfully, he dropped the subject.

  Within an hour, the quiet afternoon was interrupted by a long, deafening whistle, followed by a flaming arrow rising high above the tree line. It left a trail of gray smoke in the cloudless blue sky.

  “Time to go.” Bromly had already loaded his belt with a variety of hunting knives. He tossed a coil of rope over his shoulder and grabbed the shovel. “Are you going to be all right by yourself? You can come with me.”

  I gathered my hair and tied the mess of curls into a braid. “No, I’ll finish the stew for you.”

  “I’m starting to like having you around.” He chortled and turned his husky frame towards the smoke signal.

  The cat plopped onto the log and stretched. Where have you been? She cocked her head with a snide whiskered grin.

  “What?” I said defensively and rubbed my neck where I could still feel Darric’s mouth. “I know you saw everything that happened this morning.”

  As the afternoon progressed, a steady delivery of new bear pieces came to the cavern until I was greeted by the familiar sight of all three Hovel brothers walking across the horizon.

  Flint let the shovel hit the floor and inhaled the smell of stew. “Aya, your cooking always smells amazing.”

  Still irked that he had lied about my earlier attempts, I frowned and shoved a steaming bowl into his hands. I provided Bromly with his supper next, then offered a bowl to Darric, who declined, and Flint plucked his portion from my grasp.

  “How did the hunt go?” I asked.

  “Great,” Flint said with his mouth full. Tan liquid dribbled down his chin. “As always, Darric was a perfect shot.” Jealousy edged his tone.

  “No distractions,” Darric quipped and stole one of Bromly’s cloths from the stack. He ripped the fabric in two, creating a long strip.

  Flint slurped from the side of his bowl, and Bromly elbowed him in the ribcage, trying to give him a spoon. It was the last thing I saw before Darric lowered the fabric over my eyes and tied a hard knot on the back of my head.

  “Are you serious?” I shrieked.

  “Describe it to me,” he instructed.

  This was going to be his way of telling his brothers about my training? Blatantly shoving the lessons in their faces? “I already know how the cavern looks,” I said in annoyed disbelief.

  “Even the most memorable places can become foreign when you are blinded to them. If you know the Hovel so well, this shouldn’t be difficult.”

  The cavern went silent for an eternity, then someone’s spoon clanked hard against their bowl. “You’re teachin’ her to fight?” Flint screeched, his voice echoing off the stone. His bowl smashed onto the floor, and the fire sizzled where the stew splattered into the coals.

  I tore the blindfold from my head. Darric stood beside me, a statue of strength ready for the onslaught.

  “For years I’ve begged ya to teach me to fight! Years!” The whites of Flint’s eyes quickly became bloodshot, and he stomped on the crushed remnants of his bowl. “Ya won’t teach anyone, yet ya teach her? Some girl ya find in the woods?”

  Bromly set his half-full bowl down beside him, apparently having lost his appetite.

  “Some girl?” Darric questioned. “This doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

  “Like hell it don’t!” Flint’s hysteria grew with every word. “I’m your brother! But I’m always gonna be useless to ya. Your promises are fuckin’ worthless. Why do I ever trust ya?”

  “Instructing Aya in combat does not break the promise I made to you,” Darric stated earnestly.

  “That’s bullshit!” Flint kicked the nearest seating log, but Bromly’s weight kept it from moving, and he stumbled backwards. “You’ve broken every rule you’ve forced us to live by. Ya bring a stranger to the Hovel, threaten disgustin’ things, an’ now you’ll betray me.”

  “For reasons beyond your comprehension, she needs to know how to defend herself. That should elate you. She lives protected, and I’m one step closer to leaving.”

  “Fine! She can learn, but not taught by ya.”

  “Who then?” Darric retorted. “You? We know how that turned out.”

  “Ya swore to me,” Flint hissed.

  “She’s gifted in weaponry. She has the potential to be as deadly as I am. Would you dare hold her back for your own depraved interests?”

  “You’re a damn liar!” Flint balled his hands into fists as water welled in his eyes. “What’s she givin’ ya in exchange for lessons with a sword? How often is she liftin’ her skirt for ya?”

  I flew from my seat, ready to land my newly learned right hook on Flint’s jaw, but Darric snatched my arm and forced me behind him. I dug my nails into his shoulder, trying to quell the rage.

  “Flint, it would be wise of you to never utter anything like that again,” Darric warned. “If she do
esn’t break every damn tooth in your mouth, I will.”

  “Darric wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t have a good reason, Flint.” Bromly’s calm voice seemed misplaced among his brothers’ yelling.

  “You!” The heat in Flint’s face pulsed like the veins in his neck. “Ya knew, didn’t ya?”

  “I . . . I saw them, just once . . . this morning,” Bromly stuttered.

  “Ya didn’t tell me?” Flint closed in, about to let his fury overflow onto the wrong brother. “You’re always tryin’ to play dumb.”

  “I didn’t know,” Bromly mumbled.

  “Don’t blame him for your unbalanced sense of reality,” Darric ridiculed.

  Flint dragged his nails down his cheeks, leaving pink streaks on his face. “This is fuckin’ unbelievable.” He jumped over the seating log and kicked the empty water bucket. The canister flew high into the air before tumbling down to smack his head. The impact further infuriated him, and he ran from the cavern.

  A wicked grin spread across Darric’s face. “That could have gone better.”

  My jaw dropped. I shoved his arm, completely astonished by his lack of remorse. “You didn’t have to tell them like this!”

  I stormed into the Hovel, the cat following at my heels.

  Flint refused to speak to any of us for a week. Bromly tried to reason with him by reiterating that he had no idea Darric was instructing me, but it didn’t make any difference.

  Though the secrecy premise had been Darric’s decision, I still felt responsible. We had unintentionally put Bromly in the middle; it pained him to see Flint so inconsolable.

  By the end of the week, the raging tantrum had lessened. Bromly’s persistence paid off, and Flint began acknowledging him.

  Witnessing Flint hold a grudge was everything Darric had described. After begging for years to learn a skill his brother willingly taught to a strange little woman with no history, he had a right to be angry. But as the days of ignoring our presence at the Hovel continued, I began to find Flint’s attitude childish. In the end, Darric had to take his brother’s place in processing the new bear kill while Flint sulked in his room.