Ruined: An MC Romance Novel (Ruined Series Book 1)

by T. O. Smith

  She may live for me, but he taught her how to breathe when she felt like her only option was dying.

  ■ ■ ■

  ADELAIDE

  Joey ran his eyes over my face, a smile on his lips. I sobbed as I reached up to trace his jawline with my fingers. He grabbed my wrist and pressed a tender kiss to my palm.

  “I held you with me.” I choked out.

  “I told you I’d find you again.” He soothed. “I’ve never broken a promise to you, pretty girl.”

  A sob ripped from my throat. “It was so hard not to come crawling back to you,” I admitted. “But I wanted to show you that I was strong enough to let him take care of me.”

  Joey kissed a tear off of my cheek as it rolled down. “I’m proud of you, pretty girl. You’re glowing, and it’s all because of him. He sees you, Adelaide – he sees every part of you, even the parts of you that you’ve given to me and Tristan. He sees them all, and he loves every single piece.”

  “It doesn’t hurt so much to let you go anymore,” I whispered, my voice breaking.

  He brushed his nose with mine. “Just hold me with you. It’ll make the pain a bit more bearable. We were toxic as fuck together, pretty girl, and I had my own hand in breaking you down, but I’m trying to be better for you, even if you’re not mine anymore.”

  I gave him a broken smile. “I don’t care if you move on, Joey; a piece of you will always be mine.”

  He brushed his thumb over my cheek. “Where did it all go wrong, pretty girl?” He quietly asked.

  I shrugged. “From the very beginning,” I admitted on a weak laugh. “We fought from day one, but you made me come alive. Some days, it was all I could do to just breathe. But you saw a broken, eighteen-year-old girl who just needed a purpose, and you gave me a purpose. So, no matter how much we destroyed each other, I’ll always love you.”

  “God, he’s so fucking good for you, Adelaide.” Joey breathed. “Before him, you did your damnest to ignore every emotion you could.”

  “He’s showing me it’s okay,” I told him. My bottom lip trembled. “He told me that it was okay to still love you both just as long as I lived for him.”

  Joey smiled, and there was no pain in his eyes as he looked at me – just happiness. “Then live for him, pretty girl.”

  I swiped at my cheeks with a half-hearted laugh. “I don’t know when I got so fucking emotional.” I choked out.

  Joey hugged me to him, brushing his cheek with mine. I sighed in contentment. “You’re living, Adelaide. This – this is what it feels like to live.”

  ■ ■ ■

  RIVER

  Adelaide walked over to me, Joey following behind her. She looked up at me, a wide smile on her face. I could tell she had been crying, but the fact that she came back to me with a beautiful smile on her lips meant that she was okay.

  And as long as she continued to keep him with her, she would be. “Thank you.” She breathed.

  I reached out and ran my thumb over her cheek. “Anything for you, Darlin’,” I told her honestly.

  She wrapped her arms around me. I didn’t waste a second and securely wound my arms around her smaller frame, burying my face in her hair, breathing her in. We stayed like that for a good minute as Joey spoke to Sam.

  Axel began crying, and Adelaide quickly moved away from me and went around the bar, lifting Axel from the pack ‘n play, cradling him against her chest.

  “Fuck.” Joey said, his voice sounding strangled as he stared at her, pain flashing in his eyes for a moment before he smothered it. I remembered she had been pregnant with his baby before she had left that day that caused her to disappear for an entire year. “That’s a sight that will warm any man’s cold heart,” Joey commented, his eyes locked on Adelaide as she cooed to Axel.

  Oh, he had no fucking idea.

  “Being a mother is an easy feat for her,” I informed him. “She does it so effortlessly.”

  “Always knew she would.” He said. “She’s got a love that’s fucking unconditional.” He nodded in Axel’s direction. “Your kid?” He asked me.

  I shook my head, and he nodded in understanding. He knew that I wouldn’t talk about it in here, not with so many ears listening. That was another thing I liked about Joey. One, he respected privacy, and two, he actually fucking listened. He was remembering me telling him about my inside problem.

  “Hey, my fucking beer is empty.” One of my men snarled as he stepped up to the bar.

  Reina paled at his aggressiveness. “I’m sorry, I -”

  “Don’t apologize to cock suckers like him,” Adelaide told her as she reached over and grabbed a beer out of the fridge, still holding Axel in her arms. She slammed it down in front of Holden, her eyes flashing at him dangerously. My dick twitched in my jeans. Christ, she was a sexy as sin spitfire. “Talk to her like that again, and I’ll let her bust the next bottle over your fucking head.” She snarled at him.

  He held his hands up in a defensive gesture, muttering a sorry under his breath as he quickly walked away from the bar. I smirked at Adelaide as she scowled at Holden’s back.

  “You’re turning my men into pussies, Darlin’,” I told her, only teasing, though. My men were already beginning to worship the ground she walked on, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before they respected her more than they respected me.

  She snorted. “Treating women like shit makes them pussies, River.” Joey barked out a laugh. “Fucking pisses me off when I see them treating women like dirt.”

  “Going to straighten ‘em out like you did my men, pretty girl?” Joey asked her with a grin.

  She smirked at him. Her eyes hadn’t lost their shine yet, and I longed to see it stay there. She shined with me, but when she had Joey with her, too, she shined even brighter. “Trying my damnest.” She told him. He snorted.

  She walked around the bar and handed me Axel. “I need to make his bottle.” She informed me. “It’s almost time for him to eat. After he eats, I’ll take him to our room and change him.”

  I stood up and leaned down to softly kiss her. “I’ll go ahead and change him,” I assured her. “Go make his bottle, and I’ll feed him.”

  She chewed on her bottom lip, instantly making me hard. “You sure?” She asked me.

  I tugged her bottom lip from between her teeth. “He’s mine, too, Darlin’.” I gently reminded her. “And grab me a beer while you’re at it. I’m going to need it if you keep biting your lip like that.” I told her.

  She laughed, her eyes beaming beautifully at me. Letting Joey come here had been a damn good decision on my part. Tristan had ripped her apart. She needed Tristan, but he just couldn’t get his shit together with her.

  But Joey? He could, and he had.

  She walked behind the bar and into the kitchen, leaving me to stare after her curvaceous figure with longing in my eyes.

  Fuck, tonight couldn’t come soon enough.

  I was ready to have her beneath me, crying out my name as I made her come over and over again.

  TWENTY-ONE

  ADELAIDE

  I released a tired yawn as I gently set a sleeping Axel in his crib, being extra careful not to wake him up. River was currently working to shut down the party so that people around here could actually catch some sleep – people like me. I was sleeping more and more lately, the pregnancy slowly but surely draining me as the baby grew.

  I pressed two of my fingers to my lips before I pressed them to Axel’s forehead. His little nose scrunched up, and at that moment, he looked exactly like River. I smiled to myself at the thought of my man.

  He was an incredibly good man.

  He had allowed Joey to come to visit me all while knowing my history with him, and instead of being all territorial and possessive like Tristan had always been, River invited him here to see me, and he just trusted solely in the fact that I wouldn’t fuck around on him.

  He’d let Joey and I have our moment together, and there had been nothing but understanding in his eyes when I’d f
inally come back to him. He really did understand that I would never be able to let Joey go, and he was okay with that.

  And Joey – fuck. He had changed so much – changed for me. He wanted to be better for me, and I loved him so much for that. We may not be together, but he was trying his damnest to prove to me that he was worthy of remaining a part of my life.

  It was why he always reminded me to keep him with me.

  “What’s got you smiling like that?” River quietly asked as he stepped into our room, softly shutting the door behind him.

  I turned to look at him. “You.” I honestly answered as he strode towards me.

  He quirked an eyebrow at me. God, he was so perfect. How was it possible that a man so rugged could still be so fucking gorgeous? “Me?” He asked as he drew me into his muscular arms.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck. “You,” I repeated, nodding my head as I smiled up at him. The corners of his lips twitched with a smile. “You’re incredibly good to me, River,” I told him honestly. “I don’t deserve you – not after all of the shit that I’ve done in my life.” I brushed my fingers over the stubble on his jaw, letting it tickle my fingertips. “Thank you for staying with me.”

  He reached up and gently cupped my jaw. “Always had a soft spot for you, Darlin’.” He huskily admitted. “You stole the breath from my lungs the moment you aimed those beautiful, brown eyes at me. I had a soft spot for you even when Tristan dragged you to the clubhouse from Joey’s. You were so fucking angry at the world, and yet, I thought you were the most breathtaking fighter I’d ever laid my eyes on. You didn’t give up – didn’t give in to him.”

  “How come you never made a move before?” I asked him, honestly curious. If he had, it might have saved me so much heartache. I might have been able to save Tristan from hurting so much, too.

  “I had to wait for the right time, Darlin’. I needed you to come to me first.” I frowned. He leaned down and lightly brushed his lips over mine. “I knew the moment you came to me first, Tristan would be the least of your concerns. Because I knew when I got a taste of you, it wasn’t going to be enough. I was going to want you a hell of a lot more afterward. I was going to want you to be mine in every way possible.”

  My heart warmed in my chest at his words. “I wish I had made the decision a hell of a lot sooner,” I told him honestly.

  River’s lips tipped up at the corners the slightest bit. I bit my lip at the sight of his beautiful smile lighting up his features. “Everything happens on its own time, and I knew that as long as I stayed patient and waited for you, I would have you here with me where you’ve always belonged.”

  Then, River’s lips met mine, and I moaned softly as I pressed myself harder against him, allowing him to drag me over to the bed. He quickly yanked my shirt over my head, and he placed hot, open-mouthed kisses all over my skin until he reached the edge of my black bra. With skillful fingers, he undid the clasp and tossed it somewhere across the room.

  I moaned softly, digging my fingers into his hair as he let his lips meet mine again as he eased me backward on the bed, his strong, muscular body coming down with me.

  ■ ■ ■

  I groaned in protest when I heard Axel crying, dragging me from my peaceful sleep. I blinked at the alarm clock beside me, only to see that it was just 3:02 in the morning. “I’ve got him.” River whispered before he leaned over to press a kiss to my forehead. He slid out of bed and yanked on a pair of sweats.

  I watched him through sleepy eyes as he strode over to the crib and picked Axel up, cradling him in his arms as he strode out of our room.

  If he was like this with his nephew, my heart was going to melt at my feet to see him with his very own kid. I knew River was going to shoot Red down that day, but I’m so glad that I stepped in. I knew River would never deny me something that big.

  Turns out, it was one of the best decisions I made. Not only was Axel now going to have a warm and loving family, but River had a piece of his brother that would never be tainted by the shit that occurred in their past. And I think he needed that more than he realized.

  Our baby suddenly made its appearance by creating a small flutter in my belly. My eyes widened in shock as I stared down at my stomach, unable to believe that had happened. I was barely fifteen weeks now. This wasn’t possible.

  But then again, the doctor had told me that it may very well be possible that I feel the baby move earlier than usual since I was so small to begin with when I got pregnant.

  Then, I felt another flutter. It was unmistakable. Before long, I would actually be able to feel the baby kicking and hitting my belly.

  Tears of joy trickled down my cheeks as I quickly flicked on the lamp on my side of the bed and placed my hands on my very slightly rounded belly, laughing softly. I sniffled as River stepped back into the room carrying Axel who was greedily drinking from his bottle.

  “Woah, Darlin’, what’s wrong?” River demanded to know as he quickly strode over to me.

  “The baby moved,” I told him with a smile. “It was like a flutter – kind of like when I was a little girl, and I would get butterflies in my belly, but the baby is definitely active,” I told him. “I’ll be feeling the baby kick in no time.”

  River grinned – an actual full-on smile that melted my heart and soul – and he sat beside me on the bed as he transferred Axel to one arm, adjusting the bottle so it rested against his chest. With his free hand, he rested his hand between mine where I was still cradling my small belly.

  “Fuck, I can’t wait until I can feel our baby move.” He admitted. “I never imagined myself as a dad before you, Darlin’.” He admitted, letting those blue eyes that I loved so much meet mine.

  “You do incredibly well with Axel,” I noted.

  “Not even going to lie, Darlin’, I probably never would have taken care of him had you not been here to give me the push that I needed.” I knew that whether he realized it, though. “I never wanted kids until I found your ultrasound pictures. That day, I suddenly realized that with you, I wanted it all.”

  I leaned my head on his shoulder tiredly. “I still don’t understand how you didn’t lose your shit when you found out,” I told him. Any normal man would have flipped the fuck out.

  River lightly shrugged since my head was on his shoulder. “I told you, Adelaide; I’m not Tristan nor Joey. I could never be angry with you like that, and if I ever got that angry, I would walk away and calm down before I ever exploded at you like that. I made a promise to myself that I would be better than them for you. I’ll never raise my voice at you, and I’ll do my damnest to always be reasonable with you.”

  “Guess that explains why you didn’t lose your shit about the garage either,” I commented.

  He released a quiet laugh. “Honestly, Darlin’, I was more worried about you and what was going on in that pretty little head of yours than I was about some money I may have had to spend to fix some damages you may have caused.” He told me. “For you to lose your shit like that, I knew something had happened – knew you were hurting. I just wanted to help you.”

  Oh, my heart. “I’m surprised Tristan didn’t at least leave here sporting a black eye,” I said quietly.

  River snorted as he shook his head, clenching his jaw before he forced it to relax. “Trust me, Darlin’, I wanted to do more than black his eye, but I restrained myself from hitting him at all. You were hurting enough, and I knew hitting him would only hurt you more.” Why in the hell was River so fucking perfect? “Instead, I threatened to put a bullet through his skull if he ever made you that upset again.” River told me honestly.

  I tensed up, hating that I still felt protective over Tristan after everything that had happened between us. But it was my fault that he was hurting this much, why he felt the need to come to me in the kitchen in the first place. River sighed softly as he looked down at me, understanding in his gaze.

  “I know that you don’t ever want anything to happen to him, Darlin’. I hate it, but I under
stand it.” He admitted. I swallowed thickly. “Tristan has never tried with you, so it bugs the fuck out of me that you’re so protective of him.” I frowned. “However, if someone ever does something to hurt you again – emotionally or physically – I won’t be held back, no matter how much they mean to you. And if Tristan ever makes you that upset again, he may not live to see the light of another day.” He warned me, his blue eyes flashing dangerously. “You’ve been hurt enough.”

  “River, you know that I’ve got history with him -” I started, but he cut me off.

  River shook his head, clenching his jaw. “Adelaide, I wouldn’t give a shit if he was currently the father of the kid that you’re carrying inside of you. He’s known you almost his entire life, and he knows how to get under your skin. What he did the other day – he fucking did that shit on purpose whether you want to admit it to yourself or not. He knew he could get to you. He knows you still feel something for him, and he’s going to keep bringing it up to the surface as much as he can. I promise you, he doesn’t give the slightest shit how much he hurts you while he does it. Tristan is a selfish son of a bitch, and he will go to whatever means is necessary to take you back home with him.”