Ruined: An MC Romance Novel (Ruined Series Book 1)

by T. O. Smith

  Jesup had informed me of the decision the doctor had put into his hands. I hated that Jesup was now putting it into mine. I would never be able to pull the plug on Tristan. I was selfish enough that I would keep him in that hospital bed – unresponsive – for the rest of my life if it’s what kept him here on Earth with me.

  I looked up at River through my tears to already find him looking down at me with his understanding, blue eyes, but they were also clouded with the pain of seeing me falling apart. “You really think he’ll pull through?” I asked him, my voice breaking.

  River nodded as he reached up and gently wiped my tears off of my cheeks. “Tristan is still madly in love with you, Adelaide.” River quietly reminded me. “He’ll pull through this no matter how long it takes him. He hasn’t given up on the idea of you and him yet, and that may be what saves his life this time. Even if it takes him a long time, I have a pretty damn good feeling that he’ll make it through this.”

  I rested my forehead against his chest. “Why are you such a good man?” I asked him quietly. He put up with so much with me. I knew he wanted me all to himself, though he would never admit it. What man didn’t? No man wanted to be with a woman knowing she could never let go of the other men in her life.

  “I’m not a good man, Darlin’.” River told me bluntly as he ran his calloused hands up and down my arm. “I just want to be decent enough for you because I love you, and I hate seeing you like this. I want you to have everything you need – that’s all.” He said softly as he leaned down and brushed his lips to my forehead.

  A knock sounded on the door, and River and I both looked up to see Tristan’s doctor stepping into the room. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but it’s time for Tristan’s MRI.” He told us, a silent cue for us to leave the room.

  I nodded in understanding and turned around to face Tristan. I grabbed his hand in mine, squeezing gently. “Please pull through,” I whispered. “I need you here with me, no matter how much you hurt me,” I said so quietly that I wasn’t even sure if River could hear me.

  Giving Tristan’s hand one last, gentle squeeze, I walked out of the hospital room.

  ■ ■ ■

  RIVER

  I leaned against the doorjamb of Adelaide’s old room, my eyes on her sleeping figure. Axel was passed out in the pack ‘n’ play next to the bed, and Adelaide was sprawled out under the blankets, her lips slightly parted as she softly snored, the exhaustion of the past forty-eight hours easily knocking her out into a deep sleep.

  “How is she holding up?” Sam asked as he came to a stop next to me, peering into the room.

  I shrugged. “By a thread, I imagine,” I answered gruffly, not drawing my eyes away from her.

  “Seeing her this torn up over another man doesn’t bother you, River?” Sam bluntly asked me.

  I clenched my jaw. “Of course, it fucking bothers me, Sam,” I growled. “But at the end of the day, I know who Adelaide will choose. She’s known Tristan most of her life, so even if she had never been romantically involved with him, this shit would still tear her up inside.” I shrugged, my eyes never leaving her. “Besides, she knows the pain of losing someone. She lost her best friend – Tristan’s twin – to cancer, and about a year and a half ago, she thought that she had lost Joey, too – not to mention the fact that she found out she was pregnant with his kid right after that, too.”

  “Holy fuck.” Sam breathed, staring at Adelaide in an entirely different light. “Where’s that kid now?”

  I shrugged. “She miscarried it,” I said quietly. That night flashed to my mind. There had been so much blood – both from her stomach and from between her legs. A chill raced down my spine. Adelaide would never know it, but that night, I had been absolutely terrified that she wasn’t going to make it.

  Adelaide whimpered in her sleep, her eyebrows pulling together. I instantly walked towards the bed as she whimpered out a ‘no’, her hands closing into fists on the bed beside her head. I pulled her into my arms, gently coaxing her awake from her nightmare.

  When she finally did, tears slowly trickled down her cheeks as she buried her face against my chest. I cradled the back of her head, my other arm wrapping tightly around her body.

  I fucking hated that she was going through this shit.

  “River, the hospital just called. Tristan is fucking awake.” Jesup rushed out from his position at the doorway, making both Adelaide and I jerk our heads up to look at him. “No one knows how, but he’s fucking awake, and he’s asking for Adelaide.”

  Adelaide slid off of my lap, and she closed the room door, shrugging out of her plaid pajama pants and into a pair of her stretchy jeans and a tank top. I picked Axel up out of his pack ‘n’ play. “Tell Sam I said to head to the hospital with you,” I instructed her. “I’ll get Axel’s shit together and meet you guys there.”

  Her wide, dark eyes met mine. “Are you sure?” She asked me, her eyes showing how nervous and unsure she was about going to see Tristan without me.

  I nodded, leaning down to press a hard kiss to her lips. “Go,” I ordered.

  She needed to be with him. I may not like how much she seemed to lean on him, but I understood it.

  ■ ■ ■

  ADELAIDE

  I stepped into Tristan’s hospital room, my heart beating rapidly in my chest, so fucking happy that he was awake, yet, at the same time, I was a little bit nervous to face him without River by my side.

  Tristan was sitting up, texting on his phone. He looked up as I entered. “That was pretty fucking fast.” He noted, breaking the silence as I let the door fall shut behind me.

  I shrugged at him. “River brought me to town as soon as Jesup called him and told him you had been shot.”

  Tristan shook his head, a scowl on his features. I bristled. “I’ll never understand River.” He quietly admitted.

  I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my leather jacket. “River is secure in the knowledge that I’ll never leave him or cheat on him with another man,” I informed him. Tristan scoffed. That familiar guilt surged within me. “And he knows that despite mine and your past, I do still care a lot about you, and I worry about you.”

  Tristan leaned his head back against the bed, seeming to drop that specific topic of conversation. “Dumb of him to let you come here by yourself considering the mother fucker that shot me is still running around,” Tristan grumbled.

  I scowled, defensively crossing my arms over my chest. “For your information, River had Sam bring me up here since he had to get Axel’s shit together.” I snapped.

  “Who the fuck is Axel?” Tristan demanded, his eyes flickering to my stomach only to see that I was still very much pregnant.

  “My nephew.” River spoke up as he strode into the room, holding Axel’s car seat in one hand with the small diaper bag in his other hand. He set Axel and the diaper bag down and pressed a light kiss to the top of my head, relaxing me.

  I knelt and unhooked Axel from his car seat, lifting him and cradling him in my arms as he opened his beautiful, blue eyes and looked up at me. I smiled down at him as I rubbed my fingers over his chubby cheek. He gurgled as he reached up to put his hands on my face.

  “Kid looks a hell of a lot like you, River,” Tristan admitted as he looked at Axel.

  River shrugged. “Red didn’t want him, so Adelaide told him she would take him. We’re parents a bit earlier than expected.” But River smiled at me – that smile that told me everything was okay – that everything would continue to be okay.

  I looked at Tristan. “So, Jesup said that Frederick was doing some shit on the side, and when you confronted him, he shot you,” I said, spiking up that conversation. I wanted to know what the fuck was going on.

  Tristan shrugged. “Something like that.” He said gruffly – evasively.

  Fuck, I hated it when he did this shit. He didn’t like anyone outside of the members that sat at his table knowing anything, and he liked even less when women tried getting in the middle of things.


  “Spill.” I snapped at him.

  Tristan scowled at me. “You’re in no fucking position to be making fucking demands, Addy.” He snarled. “You’re a club woman. Remember your fucking place.”

  I glared at him, opening my mouth to snap back at him, but River beat me to it. “Watch your fucking tone with her.” River warned coolly. “What exactly happened, Grim?” River demanded to know. “And don’t you dare fucking hold back information just because she’s in the fucking room. She’s my old lady. I determine what she knows and doesn’t know. She deserves to know this.”

  Tristan glared at him for a moment. River’s expression didn’t change. He just looked at Tristan with cool eyes, waiting on Tristan to begin explaining what the fuck had happened.

  Finally, Tristan grunted in displeasure. “Some fucking how, he got wind of Adelaide’s pregnancy, and he was under the pretense that it was my kid.” I tensed, and I felt River step closer to me on instinct, his hands settling over my hips. “I confronted him to tell him to keep his mouth shut about it – that no one else was supposed to know. Frederick is being paid by someone to get his hands on Adelaide because they know I would go to extreme lengths to make sure that she’s safe and protected.” Tristan clenched his jaw. “I don’t know what they want from me, but Adelaide isn’t safe – especially not here.”

  River stepped around me, his glare fixed on Tristan. The door opened behind me, and Joey stepped in. He flashed me a warm smile that made my heart flutter in my chest before he focused his attention on the scene in front of him. “You should have fucking called me the second someone got wind of her being pregnant!” River barked at Tristan.

  “Woah; what the fuck is going on?” Joey demanded as he stepped to my other side, his muscular arms crossing over his chest.

  River released a humorless laugh. I swallowed thickly. River angry and pissed at Tristan? I could handle it. I knew he wouldn’t hurt Tristan because River loved me too much.

  Joey, though? He may love me, may have changed for me, but putting my life in danger drew the line for Joey. He would drop bodies regardless of the pain it caused me.

  “Fucking dimwit here decided that instead of informing me that someone is after Adelaide to get to him, he would take care of shit himself. Now, the mother fucker – the only person we know that holds the answers we need – is fucking MIA, and Tristan got himself shot trying to talk to the fucker instead of getting the answers he needed and putting a goddamn bullet through the traitor’s skull.”

  Joey moved to lurch forward, but River intercepted him despite the pure rage simmering in his gaze. “You hurt him, you’re fucking hurting her.” River growled at Joey.

  Joey’s eyes flashed dangerously. I shifted Axel to one arm and settled my hand over Joey’s bicep. His jaw flexed as he turned to look down at me.

  “I’m holding you with me,” I whispered, willing him to stay with me and to not hurt Tristan, silently begging him not to.

  He leaned down and brushed his lips to my forehead. My heart squeezed in my chest. “I’m stepping out. River, I’ll catch up with you in a bit. I need to cool the fuck off, or I’ll be eliminating one dumb fuck from your woman’s life.” He growled.

  I frowned after Joey as he stormed out of the room.

  “I was trying to do fucking damage control without worrying Adelaide.” Tristan snapped at River, drawing River’s attention back to him. “I knew the second I told you, you would tell Adelaide because you just can’t keep your fucking woman out of club shit. Adelaide is too unpredictable – can’t fucking trust her to not take shit into her own hands. This is club shit.”

  “This club shit involves her!” River roared at him, stepping back from me as he started losing his cool.

  I reached out to River, gripping his cut. He swung his burning, blue eyes to me. “Stay with me,” I whispered.

  He drew in a deep breath, nodding once at me before he turned his attention back to Tristan.

  “Fucking hell, Tristan, I tell Adelaide shit because if she knows, then she can take necessary measures on her part to keep herself safe, and she won’t feel fucking trapped when I do what I have to do so that she’s protected.” River growled, but he wasn’t shouting anymore. “You still haven’t grasped that fucking concept when it comes to her. Keeping her in the dark about shit will only get her stuck in the same fucking position she got herself into a year ago, or it’ll send her back into that same fucking hole she got into with Joey.”

  “River,” I called softly, knowing his words were cutting me, no matter how true they were. I was doing my damnest to not be that woman anymore, and he knew that.

  River shook his head at me, his blue eyes blazing with rage. I swallowed thickly. “Nah, Darlin’, he needs to hear this shit. You and everyone else has sugar-coated this shit way too much. Yes, you made some dumb ass decisions on your part, but Tristan played a fucking hand, too. I don’t give a fucking shit how close you two are. I will never trust him to keep you safe because he just can’t seem to fucking understand how to do it.”

  Axel began crying in my arms, and I bounced him gently, quieting his cries. “Watch yourself, River,” I warned him softly, my guard going up hard against him to protect myself.

  River stepped up close to me, his hands clamping down on my hips as I moved to take a step back from him. His grip held me in place. “Remember what I told you?” He asked me gently. “I will never lash out at you, Adelaide. But you and Tristan are extremely toxic for each other. I promised you that I would never make you choose between me and someone else, and I’m not going to, but I will step in when it’s necessary to make sure that you, Axel, and our unborn baby are safe, and right now, Tristan needs to understand that this was a dumb ass fucking decision on his part. He put you in grave danger. It’s not just you that all of us have to worry about anymore. You’re pregnant, and you’re Axel’s mom. He should have been thinking clearer instead of being prideful and deciding to not reach out for help.”

  He pressed his lips to my forehead for a moment, and he didn’t move back until he felt me relax some. “There you go.” He whispered. He gently pressed his lips to mine before he turned to face Tristan again. “I want to know how anyone found out about Adelaide being pregnant in the first place.” River ordered. “She fucking lives with me, Grim, and not a fucking person besides Sam knows she’s pregnant, so how the fuck did the news get out in your fucking club and Adelaide isn’t even fucking here with you?”

  Tristan fisted his hands on his lap, and I knew he was restraining himself from destroying something. He wasn’t used to people talking to him like this, but he knew River was a force to be reckoned with. It was one of the reasons he had always trusted River with me over anyone else, even his own VP.

  His only mistake was that River had betrayed him by sleeping with me because River’s loyalty to me ran a hell of a lot deeper than it did to his president.

  “Frederick has to have people in his pocket.” Tristan finally told him. “I don’t know how the fuck he found out, but he knows, River, and Adelaide is in danger. He had no idea she was with you, so that may work in your favor.”

  A smirk twisted River’s lips as he looked over at me. I already knew what he was thinking before he even spoke.

  “You want to finally let people know that I’m with you and that the baby is yours,” I stated more than asked.

  River nodded in agreement. “It’s time to let everyone know that you’re mine, Darlin’, and any mother fucker that tries to fuck with you has another thing coming for them because everyone knows that I’m not the one to be fucked with.”

  Joey stepped back into the room, looking a lot calmer this time. I honestly hadn’t expected him to come back to the hospital at all. He said he wouldn’t get back with River until later.

  “Include me in that,” Joey said, looking to River. River nodded once. “Someone wants to be stupid enough to fuck with her, they fuck with my entire club.” He growled.

  Joey looked at me, his dark
eyes clashing with mine.

  He was letting me keep him with me.

  I let a small smile touch my lips. He nodded once at me, his lips twitching, but he didn’t smile. “Always, pretty girl.” He promised.

  My heart swelled in my chest.

  Tristan looked between the three of us with confusion in his eyes, but River only slid his hand along the back of my neck, drawing my lips up to his for a soft, slow kiss.

  “Hold him with you.” He whispered against my lips.

  TWENTY-FOUR

  RIVER

  Three weeks.

  It had been three weeks since Tristan had gotten shot and since I had made it known that Adelaide was my woman – not Tristan’s.