* * *
Kyle’s stomach rumbled at the warm, homey smells coming from the other room. “Your lunch does smell delicious,” he admitted, heading for the door to the house.
Another meal of leftovers for him, though. At least the food in the Hesses’ full refrigerator was more appetizing than the usual take-out containers he pulled from the refrigerators in his temporary apartments. And Esther had told him to help himself to anything.
“Wait. Where are you going?” Leah stepped toward him. “I brought lunch for both of us.”
“You did what?” Kyle couldn’t keep incredulousness from creeping into his voice. She’d made him lunch yesterday, but feeding him every day wasn’t part of her volunteer duties. “You don’t need to do that.”
She hung her head as if he’d scolded her. Had his tone sounded that way?
“I just thought…well, you might be hungry.”
“You thought right, and I’m not upset with you. It’s just that you don’t have a responsibility to feed me.” Although deep inside, he was grateful—more than grateful—she had.
Leah headed for the records room, and he followed, his stomach growling. She opened the door and handed him a full plate and a bowl of soup. “The Bible says we’re to feed the hungry. A doctor who doesn’t eat breakfast probably qualifies.”
“How did you know I didn’t eat breakfast?” he demanded as he inhaled the rich chicken-scented broth and the vinegary tang of the pickled eggs.
Her cheeks darkened to deep cherry. “Well, when you came down this morning…” She waved in the direction of his hair, then lowered her eyes.
So she’d figured out he’d rushed down here straight from the shower when he saw her in the parking lot. At least she wasn’t looking at him, because the color of his face probably matched hers.
“I’m afraid the soup is probably cold by now.”
Kyle didn’t care. He’d eat it at any temperature. He set his plate down on a nearby shelf and tried a spoonful. “It’s the perfect temperature.” His spirits rose at her faint smile. “We can’t stand here to eat, though.” He almost invited her into the house but stopped the words before they left his lips. The two of them at the table in a house made for loving families…
“Maybe we could eat at our desks.”
No, he wanted to shout, although it would be the wisest course of action. “Why don’t we eat in Dr. Hess’s office?” Perhaps the solemnity of the mahogany-paneled room would dampen his desire to cup her face in his hands and thank her by pressing a kiss on her lips.
He motioned for her to precede him down the hall and then regretted it. Following her didn’t reduce the temptation to take her in his arms.
After he’d settled into the old-fashioned oak chair with rollers, Leah took the hard-backed chair nearby and set her plate on the edge of the desk. Somehow, the office that had seemed massive earlier today now shrank until it seemed claustrophobic, and he could barely draw in a breath.
Kyle forced himself to concentrate on each spoonful overflowing with carrots, celery, corn, chicken, and noodles that he lifted to his mouth. Hearty and tasty, and so much like his mother’s. “Delicious,” he murmured. He could have eaten several bowls of soup if he didn’t have a full plate waiting for him.
He took one bite of the sandwich and closed his eyes, letting the sweet and smoky tang of Lebanon bologna linger on his tongue.
“Are you all right?”
At the alarm in Leah’s voice, he forced his eyes open. “Just reminiscing. It’s been years since I had this.” He held up the potato roll stuffed with Lebanon bologna, cheese, and mustard. After he left Pennsylvania for college and med school, he had no place to buy his favorite lunch meat. “My mom used to make this for my school lunches.”
Leah’s smile invited him to confide more.
“Mom’s been gone since I was in high school, but I still miss her.” Kyle glanced toward the ceiling, but his eyes hardly registered the brass-and-glass light fixture overhead. Instead, he stood at the kitchen counter while his mom made and packed sandwiches for three lunches—one for him, one for his dad, and one for his brother, Caleb. If only he’d known that night would be the last one he’d ever spend with her…
Kyle’s throat tightened. He’d gobbled the two sandwiches from his brown paper lunch bag the next day. If only he’d known the news that would greet him after school, he would have savored every bite rather than scarfing them down.
“Kyle?” Leah’s soft question broke through the mist of pain.
“I’m sorry.” He swallowed hard. “The last sandwiches she made me were ones like this. I sat in the school cafeteria eating them, never realizing she’d be gone by the time I got home from school.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories.”
Kyle shook his head. “You had no idea. And I still love the taste.” Even if the memories accompanying it were bitter. “I just wish I could go back and relive the night before. She’d forced me to sit in the kitchen to do my homework so she could keep an eye on me while she prepared our lunches for the next day. I fumed and complained. If only I’d known”—he choked back the lump in his throat—“I would have told her I loved her.”
“Oh, Kyle…”
“When she lay unconscious in the hospital hooked up to a ventilator, I told her again and again. But could she hear?”
If only I’d known…
Those words had followed him every day since then.
If only he’d known the destruction his careless driving would cause…
If only he’d known how much pain he’d go through because he dated an Amish girl…
Leah leaned forward and placed a hand on his arm. The warmth of her touch spread down through the tips of his fingers. The images of his past slowly faded until they were replaced by her caring expression. It hit Kyle with a jolt—he’d fallen for her. And fallen hard. But this time there’d be no if onlys.
Chapter Fifteen
Lunch was so intimate Leah struggled to eat. Maybe making meals for him had been a mistake. No, that part was fine. Where she’d made her mistake was sitting in the office with him. He was much too close for comfort. And after hearing his heartbreaking story, the urge to comfort him had been strong. She never should have touched his arm. Her only goal had been to ease his distress, but the jolt that went through her…
She should have insisted on sitting at the reception desk. That’s what she’d do tomorrow. Or better yet, she wouldn’t come in tomorrow. That would be wiser. But how would Kyle handle the desk and the patients alone? She shouldn’t leave him without any office support. For the next few days, she’d be professional and helpful but keep her distance. As much as she enjoyed his company, she’d avoid being alone with him in the future.
The minute she finished her meal, she stood. “I’ll take the dishes to the kitchen.”
Kyle removed the plate from her hand. “No. In this house, the doctor washes the dishes. I plan to follow his example.”
“You have patients coming,” Leah protested.
“Won’t take long to rinse them and load them in the dishwasher. Although Martin and Esther enjoy washing them together.” His face flushed. “I didn’t mean you had to help.” He gathered the plates and fled.
She must make him as flustered as he made her. Maybe he’d sensed her attraction, and it made him ill at ease around her.
To keep from focusing on him, she prepped the files for the afternoon appointments and made a note about the diet handout before she filed Mr. Garcia’s thick folder. The afternoon became a blur of answering phone calls, greeting patients, taking them to the exam rooms, filing records, and assisting Kyle.
Most of the time she managed to scurry into and out of exam rooms without running into him. And when she had to speak to him, she did her best not to look at him but couldn’t help sneaking peeks while he was occupied. His height and broad shoulders could be intimidating, but his gentle, reassuring touches calmed each patien
t, and he always squatted to talk to the children. He patiently explained his diagnosis in words they could understand and made sure they knew what the medicine would do. The more she assisted him, the more she admired him.
She only hoped Esther would be able to come back soon. Very soon. Before her feelings for Kyle spiraled out of control.
During a late afternoon lull, Leah hurried into the house to prepare the oven-fried chicken and slip it into the stove along with potatoes. She’d turn the chicken for its final browning once the office closed.
When she returned to the waiting room, two new patients had arrived. She smoothed her hair and apron before going over to greet them. After checking them in and answering questions about Dr. Hess, Leah finished the rest of her afternoon duties. While Kyle saw the final patient, she rushed into the house to finish cooking the meal. She opened the canning jars she’d brought and put green beans on to simmer while she slid a peach half onto the plate with some coleslaw and buttered several slices of homemade bread. Then she turned off the burner and the oven. The food would stay warm until Kyle was ready to eat.
The door to the house opened, and Kyle entered. He stopped short when he spied her by the stove. “Leah? What are you doing here?”
“Fixing you dinner.” She motioned toward the plate on the table. “Everything’s ready.”
A confused look on his face, Kyle stared at her. “I thought you went home. I took care of the payment and locked up.”
Had she been in the kitchen that long? “I’m sorry. I intended to get back in time to take care of the billing and files. I just wanted to be sure dinner was ready by the time you finished.”
His disbelieving look softened into gratitude. Then tenderness. “You made dinner for us?”
Not us. You. But as she gazed into his eyes, she couldn’t form the words.
“You have such a kind heart. Eating here alone last night—” He broke their connection to stare off into the distance. “I should be used to solitary meals, but last night the loneliness was overwhelming.”
And he’d be here alone tonight. “I, um…” How could she tell him she had no intention of staying?
“You don’t know what this means to me. No one’s taken care of me like this, not since Mom…” Kyle’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. “Caleb tried, but my brother and I had very little experience in the kitchen. Most meals were a disaster.”
Leah’s heart went out to him. To lose both their parents and have to fend for themselves.
“If it weren’t for Esther, we would have eaten peanut butter sandwiches for every meal. By the time Caleb learned to cook well, I’d headed off to college, and then it was cafeteria food or takeout.”
Oh, Kyle.
“And that’s pretty much all I’ve eaten since. Except for now.” He gestured toward the single plate on the table. “You did plan on staying, didn’t you?”
After what he’d just said, how could she leave him here alone? “I’ll call Joel and ask him to come later.”
* * *
Joel. The name hit Kyle in the gut. Of course—she had a boyfriend who’d be expecting her company. The fantasy he’d constructed of the two of them sharing a meal crashed down around him. He’d allowed the sentimental side of him to take control.
While he’d been busy sorting out his thoughts, Leah had already called Joel. “Yes, if you could pick me up at—” She glanced over at Kyle.
“I’d be happy to run you home,” he said.
Her brilliant smile and mouthed thank you sent his spirits soaring. Already he was planning ways to keep her here after dinner to fill the lonely evening hours.
“What can I do to help?” he asked when she got off the phone.
“Nothing. It’s all ready.” She opened a few drawers until she found two potholders. “Why don’t you sit down?” She slid a pan of crisp chicken and two baked potatoes on the table. Then she set a small, round casserole dish in the hot oven.
Kyle sank into a chair and inhaled the aroma wafting from the pan. Sitting in a room warmed by home cooking and Leah’s presence was the closest to heaven he’d been in a long time.
After she’d set out a plate for herself and served both of them, she slid into a seat across from him. Then she bowed her head, and Kyle’s gut clenched.
He’d done his best to block every detail of his time with Emma from his mind, but when they ate together, she’d always insisted on praying silently before each meal. Kyle had respected her wishes and bowed his head the way he’d been taught to do as a child.
But look how that ended. Once again, he was risking getting entangled with another Amish girl. He couldn’t repeat that devastating mistake.
* * *
Leah lifted her head to find Kyle staring at her with a strange expression on his face. Had her prayer offended him? She hadn’t meant to upset him, but she couldn’t eat without thanking God first.
When he noticed her looking, Kyle turned his attention to his plate. “Everything looks delicious.” His words sounded stilted, as if he were forcing them out.
What had happened? A few minutes ago, he’d been confiding about his life and asking her to stay for dinner. Or had she misunderstood his invitation? Maybe he’d asked her out of politeness because she’d made the meal?
His shuttered expression and refusal to look in her direction made her long to leave, but she couldn’t. He’d be taking her home.
A sharp, stabbing pain in her abdomen made her draw in a breath. Not now. It hadn’t even been a month. Often those twinges served as an early warning sign.
“What’s wrong?” Kyle switched on his caring doctor expression, the one he used when he was seeing patients.
The pain subsided, and Leah waved away his concern. “I’m fine.” But she might not be tomorrow or later this week. She picked up her fork and knife to cut a bite of chicken.
He appeared unconvinced, but he followed her lead and began eating. Only the scraping of forks, sawing of knives, and faint sounds of crunching broke the silence between them, punctuated by an occasional murmur of delight from Kyle.
Leah racked her brain for something to say. They’d been having such a good conversation, but now he was acting cold and distant. He’d indicated he wanted company, but he might as well be dining alone. Did he regret confiding in her? How could she get things back to a friendly footing?
She plunged in. “I was surprised to see you back here so soon. Dr. Hess said you were working at another hospital.”
Without looking at her, Kyle answered, “I was. I finished up a few days ago.” He forked a bite of potato into his mouth.
“It was perfect timing, then.”
Kyle frowned. “I wouldn’t say that.” He dug the tines of his fork into the chicken and concentrated on slicing off a piece.
“Why not?”
“I’d been planning to take a vacation for several weeks. Since I finished my residency and passed my boards, I’ve been taking positions as a covering physician.”
It was almost as if he were speaking a foreign language. Leah disliked interrupting him, but she wanted to understand. “What does that mean?”
“It means I’ve been filling in temporarily for doctors at different hospitals. It’s a good way to see what their programs are like, meet people, and see if I’m well suited for the work there. It’s helped me decide where to apply for my fellowship.”
When she shot him a questioning glance, he explained, “The fellowship will provide additional training in the specialty I chose—rare diseases. Applications have to be in by the end of this month, so I planned to use these next few weeks to work on that.”
“I see. But if you’re going for more training, you won’t be able to help Dr. Hess. He and Esther must be so disappointed.” And so was she.
Kyle didn’t meet her eyes. “I haven’t told them yet.”
“Oh no. They’re counting on you.”
“I know. That makes it so hard, especially when they’ve been so good to me, but I
have dreams. I want to make important medical contributions.”
“And you can’t do that here?”
“I don’t see how.”
Leah’s spirits plunged. She tried to tell herself it was because of the burden it put on the Hesses, but deep inside a small whisper contradicted that.
After staring into space for a few moments, Kyle asked, “What about you? You said your brother is running the store now?”
“Yes, Daed and Joel reconciled.”
“Joel?” Kyle’s voice held an odd note.
* * *
Kyle sat there dumbfounded. “Joel’s your brother?”
“Yes.” Her eyes questioned him.
How could he answer? He shrugged and tried to make light of it. “I don’t know. I just assumed you were, you know, dating him.” How lame was that?
“You thought I was dating an Englischer?”
The shock in her voice indicated she’d never consider doing anything like that. Which was just as well. It prevented him from acting like a fool.
He tried to get the conversation headed in a different direction. “With your brother running the store, you’ll have more time for your training.”
“Yes. Once Esther is back, I’ll be spending as much time as I can with Sharon and studying.”
“That’s good.” Maybe with more medical training, she’d be less inclined to rely on herbal treatments. “You’d make a good nurse. Have you ever considered that?”
Her faint smile faded. “I really enjoy the work here and wish I could help you more.” A blush spread across her face. “I mean, I wish I could learn more about medicine. Reading books and becoming a noncertified midwife is as close as I’ll get to that, though.”
“Why? You have the time. Why not pursue your interests? If money’s the problem, you could get scholarships and loans.”
Leah shook her head. “We don’t do that.”
“By we, I’m guessing you mean the Amish.”
She nodded. “I finished my education.”
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