Cole's Mistake (Haven, Texas Book 8)

by Laylah Roberts

  He waited, holding his breath until she nodded, and it whooshed out of him.

  “Yeah. I think it might make me feel safer to have some more boundaries in place in the rest of my life.”

  All the women in Haven had restrictions to keep them safe. They were enforced by their guardians. He was yet to give Keira any. He hadn’t wanted to push her, hadn’t felt like either of them were at that place. Besides, they spent all their time together anyway.

  “Good. We’ll think about what we both need and decide what rules we need. We should have had this talk earlier.”

  “Yeah, maybe Cole should have appeared a few weeks ago,” she attempted to joke.

  “This has nothing to do with him.”

  He regretted snapping at her as soon as the words were out. That small smile fell from her lips.

  “I don’t think he’s a bad guy, Julian.”

  “Even after what he did to us? To Joel?”

  She just nodded, unable to look at him. Shit. He was such an asshole. Keira was a sweetheart. And if she didn’t want to hold onto any anger, he shouldn’t be trying to force her to. He’d make certain that bastard never had the power to hurt her again.

  “Look at me, Keira.” He waited until her eyes rose to meet his. “It’s okay if you don’t hate him.”

  “I’m not saying I forgive him or anything. I just, I already have so much anger towards Vincento, I don’t think I can be mad at Cole too. After what we went through, I just don’t want to hate him. I can’t.”

  “And that’s fine, baby. Because that’s who you are. My sweetheart subbie.”

  She snorted at that. “You’re not mad at me?”

  “No, Keira. Never that. I’m proud of you.”

  “Proud of me?”

  “It’s easier to hold onto hate than let it go. You always were stronger than me.”

  “Hardly.” But she relaxed in his arms.

  “You are, sugar lips,” he told her, smiling as she snorted at the ridiculous endearment. “You’re the best part of us. Don’t ever forget it.”

  “Are you worried about what bringing in another Dom will mean? I mean, what sort of rules might he make? What do you think he’ll want us to do?”

  “I don’t know, kitten. But remember, whatever he wants, we don’t have to do it. Any of it. And, the truth is, with me taking more of a dominant role outside the bedroom, maybe we don’t need anyone else.”

  That would be the most ideal outcome, in his opinion. Even if his gut told him it wouldn’t quite go that way. That there was still a long way for him to go, and he was going to need some help along the way.

  12

  He saw her startle at the knock on the door and had to bite back his growl of anger.

  He hated what that bastard had reduced them to. That Keira jumped at loud sounds. Even now, Renard had to whisper-yell or she’d freeze up. Here, in their space, she should have felt safe.

  Only it’s not your space, is it? You’re here because of Joel. But you can’t stay here forever. You have to man up.

  Fuck. That was the thing his father most loved to say to him. Man up, Julian. Take it like a man. Be more of a man.

  But he needed to figure out a plan for helping them both move forward. Starting with trying this plan of Joel’s. Because, at the moment, they were merely hamsters on a wheel, too terrified to jump off, too frightened to stop.

  “I’ll get it, Keira. You stay here.”

  She nodded, smiling, but, as usual, it didn’t reach her eyes.

  Yeah, he fucking hated that too.

  So, he opened the door a little more forcefully than he’d intended. On the other side stood Joel, who raised an eyebrow at him but otherwise showed no reaction. Next to him was Jardin. He had on a pair of jeans that probably cost more than Julian’s entire wardrobe and a button-down shirt. He had a feeling it was as relaxed as the other man got.

  And he was suddenly reminded of another man who wore expensive clothes and looked like he’d stepped off the pages of GQ. Shit. The last thing he needed was for Jardin to remind him of Cole.

  They were very different, he reminded himself. Jardin actually cared about other people besides himself.

  Cole did too. He just didn’t care about anyone more than himself. He also couldn’t see past his own bigoted opinions.

  Enough about Cole. Fuck, he had Julian rattled since he’d turned up two days ago. Yesterday, he and Keira had spent the whole day together, making love and with him gently dominating her. Taking a dominant role had helped him. That spanking hadn’t just eased some of her demons, it had given him a sense of control he’d been searching for but had been unable to find.

  “Joel. Jardin.” He grimaced at how cold and stiff his voice sounded. He couldn’t help it. A territorial possessiveness had come over him.

  “Julian? Is it all right if we come in?” Joel asked gently.

  Shit. Fuck. Christ.

  He shook his head, and the two men exchanged worried glances.

  “Sorry. Of course. I was just thinking about stuff.” He winced. He appreciated that even though Joel owned the guest house they lived in the other man always knocked, even if he did let someone sneak in to fill up their fridge every week.

  He’d tried having a word with him about that but Joel always denied having anything to do with it.

  “Please, come in.”

  He felt Keira slide up behind him, placing her arm around his waist in support. He appreciated that she wanted to care for him, however, she’d just disobeyed him.

  “Keira, where did I tell you to wait?”

  She shot him a glance filled with apology. “Sorry. When I heard it was Joel, I figured it was okay to come forward.”

  He leaned in and whispered in her ear. “It wasn’t, kitten. And, later, we’ll deal with the consequences of your actions.”

  For a moment he worried about her reaction. He didn’t want her to fear him, ever.

  But she simply nodded. She didn’t show an ounce of fear. In fact, all of yesterday and today she’d seemed more relaxed.

  As though she’d been waiting for him to take the reins. Fuck, he was going to have to catch on quicker than he was.

  Maybe that was where Jardin came in. Maybe he could be more of an advisor than an actual Dom to them both. Because, he was pretty certain he couldn’t submit to him, in any capacity. He wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to do that again. Something inside him mourned that.

  “Sorry, Sir,” she whispered to him.

  He was aware of Joel and Jardin watching him closely and he stepped back, letting them in. He had to check the urge to step in front of Keira. It wasn’t Joel bringing that out in him, he trusted him. It was Jardin. And this wouldn’t work if he couldn’t ease up on that protectiveness.

  Easy, this is just the start.

  “Have a seat,” Keira told both men with a smile. She moved from foot to foot as they sat. “What can I get you to drink? Sweet tea? Coffee? Soda?”

  Joel gave her a smile. “Coffee would be great, sweetheart.”

  “For me too, please,” Jardin added.

  She smiled wide and it almost looked genuine before she turned and walked over to the kitchen.

  Julian sat on the sofa. Both men were in armchairs facing the corner sofa.

  “The two of you all right?” Joel asked.

  All right? Uh, no.

  “She’s nervous. When she’s nervous she can’t really stay still. I call her kitten because she’s always reminded me of one. Sometimes, she’s playful and a little cheeky, other times she’ll curl up so peacefully in my lap.”

  “Have you ever done any pet play with her?” Jardin asked carefully.

  “Once.”

  He saw Keira struggle with the tray, which held the coffee, creamer and sugar and jumped up to help her before it could tip and go everywhere.

  “Sit down,” he told her gently. “I have this.”

  She was obviously reluctant to sit but didn’t have an excuse not to. He laid t
he tray down on the coffee table and she immediately jumped up to her feet. “Let me fix it for you.” She made his and Joel’s then turned to Jardin.

  He gave her a gentle smile, probably noting the way her hands shook. She made his coffee how he asked for it then nearly sloshed it over the side of the mug as she handed it to him.

  “Easy, sweetheart,” he told her in a low voice, taking the cup. She jolted at his words, and the coffee spilled.

  “Oh, God! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry.”

  The fear in her voice made Julian’s heart ache and his pain immediately turned to anger, which he turned on Jardin. He scowled at the other man. If he dared scold her, he’d make the other man’s life a living hell.

  “Keira, did you burn yourself?” Jardin stood, reaching out a hand, but she shied back.

  Julian stood, grabbing hold of her and pushing her behind him.

  “Hey, easy,” Jardin said soothingly to both of them. “I’m not angry. It was an accident. I just wanted to make sure Keira didn’t hurt herself.”

  Julian took a breath, trying to tamp down the raging beast inside him. He knew he wasn’t helping anyone, least of all Keira, by overreacting.

  “Did you get burned?” he managed to ask in a calm voice.

  “I’m fine,” Jardin replied, in a voice that was both soft and firm. Fuck, for the first time he wished he was attracted to the other man. He had an innate dominance, like Joel. They were both confident and in command, yet not complete assholes about it.

  He couldn’t say the same about a lot of other Doms he’d met.

  “I’m more worried about Keira right now. Keira, can you please come out from behind Julian and look at me. Julian is here. Joel is here. There’s nothing to fear.”

  Again, his voice was a mix of understanding and firmness. He wasn’t going to force her to do anything, but he was still letting her know what he expected.

  “I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to burn you. I was just so nervous.” She stepped to Julian’s side, but no further. He checked both of her hands, but they were unharmed. He could feel her shaking and wrapped his arm around her.

  “Look, obviously this isn’t going to work,” Julian said to Saxon and Jardin. “She’s terrified of him. Maybe it would just be best if you both left.”

  And then where would they be? Back at square one? For some reason his mind shot to Cole. If he were here, she wouldn’t be afraid.

  If he were here, you’d probably have your hands wrapped around his throat. Wouldn’t that be fun?

  “How about we just give this a bit more of a chance,” Saxon said easily, still sitting there, seemingly relaxed.

  “Sweetheart, I’m not angry at you,” Jardin told her kindly. “We all make mistakes. And we all get nervous. First time I entered a BDSM club, I was so nervous about plugging the sub I was playing with I put way too much lube on the plug and her ass. When I went to pick it up, it flew out of my hand and hit another Dom in the face. He was not impressed.”

  There were a few seconds of silence then Keira burst into laughter. Julian gave her a surprised look then found his tension easing at the sound of her giggles. He glanced over at Jardin with gratitude.

  The other man sent him a wink. Okay, that was more playful than he’d imagined the lawyer to be.

  “That didn’t happen,” Keira said after she’d tamed her giggles.

  “I assure you, it did.”

  “Good Lord, I’m glad you got more practice in before joining my club,” Saxon said, sounding appalled.

  Jardin pointed at all three of them. “This stays between us. There’s a code of silence, understand? Because if my cousins ever hear that, I’m going to be finding lubed up plugs everywhere.” He gave a shudder. “Those assholes are ruthless.”

  Keira let out another giggle.

  “Feeling better, sweetheart?” Jardin asked kindly.

  “Yes. Thank you.”

  “Good. Can I please see your hand to make certain you didn’t burn yourself?” He held out his hand. Julian stiffened. He didn’t want the other man to touch her.

  Mine.

  Jardin shot him an assessing look, but kept his arm stretched out.

  “I didn’t,” she replied quickly. “And Julian checked.”

  “I know, but I’d still like to check myself.” He kept his arm out. Julian admired his confidence. And calm. Eventually, Keira caved in. Her hand shook slightly, and she stuck close to him, but she let Jardin take her hand and check it over before he let it go.

  “Good. Thank you for letting me do that, sweetheart. I’d never have been able to leave until I made sure.”

  “Oh. Sure.” Keira looked up at Julian in confusion. He knew what she was thinking. The only Dom they’d spent any length of time with was Vincento. And he’d never thanked them for anything. Of course, he’d never have concerned himself with whether Keira had a slight burn. And that was even before he’d showed his true face. His greatest care had always been for himself.

  Cole, well, he wasn’t a Dom. And it was hard to know what his reaction would have been. He was definitely protective, though.

  “W-what about you?” Keira managed to ask. “Did you hurt yourself?”

  Jardin held out his hand, waiting patiently for her to take it. She reached for it, as though waiting for it to strike, but Jardin just held still. She had a look at the red spot. “Oh, no, I have some burn cream in the first aid kit if you’d like.”

  “That would be wonderful, thank you.”

  As she left, Jardin sat. Julian realized he was the only one standing and forced himself to sit.

  “I don’t think this will work,” Julian said.

  Saxon leaned forward. “You have to give it some time. You’re both going to be wary of anyone trying to get close to you after what you’ve been through. Trust takes time.”

  Jardin gave him a smile. “I like you, Julian. And Keira. I once had two people that I . . . that I loved. I lost them both. I’m not looking for a romantic relationship. But I would like to help you both.”

  A knot eased inside him.

  “What happened to them?” Keira asked, stepping into the room. “The two people you lost, are they all right?”

  “I don’t know, sweetheart. They refuse to see me.” He took the burn cream she held out. “I can’t help them. But I can help the two of you. If you’ll let me.”

  Keira sat beside Julian again and took his hand in her smaller one. She squeezed it tightly.

  “I don’t want a Dom,” Julian told him. “I’m not certain I’ll ever want or be able to submit again.”

  Jardin just nodded.

  “But Keira and I have been talking. We think it would help to take back that part of ourselves. We thought it might be forever gone to us. BDSM is what brought Vincento into our lives, and ever since, I’ve been angry at that part of me that needed him, wanted him.”

  “And I’ve been scared of it,” Keira admitted.

  Julian stared down at her. “But the other night, after Cole returned, we played a little and we both found . . .” he trailed off. It was hard to talk about this with other people. He wasn’t used to showing his emotions or needs to anyone but Keira.

  “It made us feel better. More in control,” Keira told them. “I had some rules and boundaries because Julian was in charge. I’m having trouble trusting my judgment.”

  “And me because I could control something. I’ve been desperately trying, but failing, to keep control of everything, because I’m scared of Keira getting hurt again.” Fuck. Okay, that wasn’t so hard to admit, and he guessed they already knew that since all of Haven had seen how close he stuck by her.

  “Saxon is worried about the two of you and I am too.”

  “You don’t know us that well,” Julian couldn’t stop himself from pointing out. He felt Keira stiffen next to him. She slipped her hand into his. He knew she was trying to calm him down.

  “I know I don’t. But that doesn’t mean I can’t care.”

  “Th
e whole town is worried about you,” Joel told them.

  Julian frowned. He’d lived in a small town where no one had given a shit about anyone else. Keira had too. This wasn’t something they were used to. People looking out for their neighbors. Sometimes he still wondered when the other shoe was going to drop with Joel. He didn’t understand how all the help he’d given them didn’t come with strings.

  But maybe it did, they were just different strings. Those strings meant people gave a crap. That he and Keira had to do what they could to put people’s minds at ease.

  “Joel suggested I collar you both,” Jardin told them. “I want to know how you feel about that.”

  Keira looked to him, biting at her lip.

  “I can’t do that,” Julian said bluntly.

  Fuck this was so hard. He hated needing anyone else. Asking them for help. Keira leaned into him, giving him more of her strength. He kissed the top of her head, breathing in her scent. He would do anything for her. To help her. Protect her. But he couldn’t see himself doing that.

  He waited for Joel and Jardin’s disappointment, braced himself for angry words. He could handle them. It was the way he’d grown up, after all.

  Jardin simply nodded.

  Saxon, surprisingly, stayed silent. Usually he was all for interfering in other people’s business, but he seemed willing to let Jardin take the lead.

  “I know I haven’t been dealing with things very well,” Julian admitted. “Maybe you could work with me. Help us figure out our roles.”

  “Like a mentor,” Saxon said thoughtfully. He looked pensive. “Not quite what I had in mind.”

  “It could work.” Jardin and Saxon shared a look.

  Saxon still didn’t look happy but he gave a short nod.

  “I can certainly give some advice.” Jardin smiled at them both. “Why don’t we get to know each other and work out from there what you need from me? We can start off with me being a mentor and if you need more, we can negotiate that. How does that sound?”

  Julian looked down at Keira. She gave him a trusting look. His gut churned. He loved that she trusted him. He just worried he’d make the wrong choice and damn them both.