by Tey Holden
“Addy, you know me better than that! I won’t say that I’m not surprised or shocked, but I love to see that you are happy. I want to know how this happened and, why? You have to admit that it’s kind of out of the blue, no?”
“Yes, you are right. It is. Karen and I have known each other for a long time. You saw her at my house many times. We became good friends, and for a couple of years we had a great friendship. Laurie was home and life was different then. Remember when we talked about how things had changed with Luke? Well, when Laurie was gone, everything was different. That’s when things changed with Karen too. I would go out with her, and you see how she is. I love everything about her. Then I would come home and find you know exactly what. I couldn’t take it anymore. That’s when I asked him for the divorce. Tania, he brought about what happened. Karen had nothing to do with it.”
“I know. Just like me and Pete. Look how we ended.”
“Let’s go inside, it’s getting a little windy out here.” They picked up their plates and cups and went inside. “I was lucky to find Karen. She fills my life, Tania, I’ve never been happier.” Suddenly, the pot on the stove began to make some sounds and Addy turned to look at it. Tania was sitting in the dining room, away from the main view.
At that very same moment Karen walked in, unaware that Tania was in the room across from the kitchen. She had been feeling bad all morning about the previous night’s conversation, and her early departure without stopping to tell Addy that she was heading out. She concluded that she acted childish and that her fears were unfounded. She knew Addy loved her and that no matter what Tania thought, it would not change how Addy felt about her. The treatment for her paranoia had apparently worked and she was resolved to make peace the moment she walked in the house. She had to. She couldn’t bear the thought of Addy and her being in disagreement over something.
When Karen came in, she saw Addy standing in front of the stove. She approached her from the back. “Hi, baby, listen I’m sorry about last night and about leaving early this morning. I went to see those horses they want to sell us. I didn’t like them.” As she spoke, she stepped close to Addy caressed her thigh, hugged her from the back and gave her a long heart felt kiss on the cheek. Karen noticed that Addy stiffened. “What’s wrong?” Addy turned around biting her lip and looked towards Tania. Karen followed her eyes and when she saw Tania she gasped.
Addy put an arm around her for support. “It’s alright, babe, she knows. I just told her.” Karen was wide eyed looking at Addy. She didn’t dare look in Tania’s direction.
“Ker, she’s okay. At least she hasn’t run yet. She’s kind of quiet, though.” That was a hint for Tania to say something. Tania obviously was aware of Karen’s embarrassment, but what could she say?
“I think you guys are great, Karen. I haven’t seen Addy so happy in years.”
Karen smiled slightly more frightened than happy, then she looked at Addy, and Addy squeezed her. “Tania, this lovely woman, is shaking to the core right now.” Karen looked down and turned to face Addy.
“She was afraid that you would not accept us. Not everyone knows. We don’t know how people are going to react, and we decided to let things take their own course. I’m happy, Tania, the happiest I’ve ever been.” She caressed Karen’s back as she spoke. “This is the real thing.” She pulled Karen in when she spoke her last words. Karen grinned, her fears slowly dissipating when she realized that Addy would stand up for their relationship to anyone. Addy continued to talk. “You are my best friend, and I wanted you to know.”
Tania looked at them. “I’m honored with your trust. As far as I’m concerned, you are a grown woman and what you do with your life is your business. I’m happy that you are happy. Shit! I wish I could find someone who would make me as happy!”
Karen was still shaky, but she turned and looked up. “Thanks, it means a lot to us.” Karen was very sincere in her comment.
“So, can I stay here at the cottage with you now that I know?”
“I think that your room at the inn is much nicer than our room here, but if that is what you want, it’s fine with us.” Addy said looking at Karen who still looked somewhat uneasy.
However, Karen wanting to be cordial agreed. “No problem.” Addy smiled at Karen knowing how she truly felt.
“So, how long have you been together? Does anyone else know?”
“Laurie knows. We’ve been together since after the divorce.”
Tania asked. “Does he know?”
“I don’t think so. Tania, I was going to leave him. I didn’t leave him because of Karen.” She looked at Karen. “There had been nothing between him and me for years. We just grew apart and there was nothing there. We weren’t happy. After the divorce, I moved in with Karen and then when this move to Scotland presented itself, we took it, and here we are!” Addy paused and then continued speaking. “Unbelievable, huh? Tania, love is an amazing thing. I’m in love with this person.” She put her arm around Karen’s waist making Karen blush. She didn’t want to get carried away showing too much emotion in front of Tania, not knowing how she would react, but she couldn’t help showing affection for the woman she adored.
Tania smiled and nodded. “Like I said, Addy, you are a grown woman. You can do whatever you want. I’m really glad that you are happy, but I will also tell you that not everyone will be happy about this. You know how people are.”
“I really don’t care about what people think, Tania. At the end of the day, this is my life, and I’m happy. We are just thrilled that Laurie accepted us. She loves Karen and wants me to be happy. So, that is all that matters.”
“Now, can I ask, what’s going on with the horses?” Tania asked in an attempt to change the subject and relax Karen, who was still speechless.
Karen welcomed the change of subject and took over the conversation to explain the deal with the horses. “Actually, would you like to see the stables?”
“Sure, let’s go.”
“Ker, do you want to eat something?”
“Yeah, I’ll just take a slice of quiche on a napkin, and if you can poor some Bellini in a paper cup we can walk to the stables.” She took a bite of the quiche. “Yum! This tastes great.”
As they walked to the stables, Karen explained why she didn’t buy the horses. Walking back to the inn, Tania asked them a few questions. “What happens after the three years are up? Now that the inn is doing so well?”
“I don’t know, Tania. We have been so happy, and busy with the present that we haven’t thought much about the future. Time has gone by quickly. It seems as if it was just yesterday that we got here. It feels as if the present and the future are one and the same. It’s just weird.” Addy replied.
“What about you, Karen, have you thought about what you are going to do after the three years are over?”
Karen smiled when she heard Addy’s reply. She’s happy! It was true. They had never talked about what would happen after the three-year term was over. They had stopped talking about selling the place a long time ago. “No, not really. I have to agree with Addy. Time has flown by quickly. I feel like we are living our lives so fully that I’ve never stopped to think of the future. I guess, I just expected the future to reveal itself as we went along. Who thinks about the future when you are actually living your dream in the present?” Karen didn’t realize how revealing her comment had been. Even Addy was surprised.
Both women looked at her, Addy adoringly, and Tania in complete amazement. Addy laced her arm through Karen’s and kissed her on the cheek with Karen blushing again.
“You two are incredible, I am envious! If there is a friend you might want to introduce me to, I might consider jumping the fence!” They laughed.
They were both satisfied with the answers they gave Tania regarding their future. Neither one would discuss in front of Tania matters that they had not discussed among themselves. So, Addy’s answer, with which Karen agreed, was actually perfect. Addy noticed that Karen remained quiet after
the conversation and glanced at her. Karen sensed the chocolate eyes on her, and returned the look with her laser greens. Addy immediately gave her the melting smile and quickly looked away. Karen knew that smile too well. They needed time alone, but that wouldn’t be possible until later that night in their bedroom. For now, Karen put her arm around Addy’s waist and pulled her closer.
Their initial plan was to return to Washington, D.C. at the end of the three years, but it was not until they finished the cottage and later the inn that they realized that they were truly happy in Scotland. For the longest time now, neither one ever mentioned going back anymore. Maybe the matter had not come up because they still saw it far away, or maybe it was a matter they didn’t think they had to deal with yet because it was still not necessary. But, hearing Tania’s question, they had just realized that the present and the future were coming together and the matter would soon have to be addressed.
That evening the thought of the uncertain future lingered on Karen’s mind. She wished she could talk about it with Addy now and get it over with, but the possible answers frightened her. In the bottom of her heart, and ironically because she had never wanted to return to Scotland, she now wished they could stay there forever, happy as they were. She decided it was best to postpone addressing the matter, until it was absolutely necessary. She hoped that, as it had always been the case with their other affairs, time would take care of resolving the issue.
After dinner the trio settled to watch a movie. Tania sat in one of the recliners, Addy sat on the sofa as Karen was fidgeting with the DVD player. When she sat on the sofa, she noticed that Addy was gone. “Where are you, I’m going to start the movie! She always does this, disappears when everything is finally ready.”
“Well you take so long getting the thing ready that I thought I could go pee now and not have to interrupt later. What are we watching, anyway?”
“Secretariat, you said you wanted to watch it, so I ordered it.”
“Nice, play it.” Karen started the DVD and sat back on the sofa next to Addy. A little while later, Tania noticed how Addy’s head was resting against Karen’s collarbone and her hand was on Karen’s leg, and how Karen had her arm over Addy. They looked cute and loving together. Tania still couldn’t understand how Addy had changed, but she was glad to see her friend happy. Karen was really a fantastic person and Tania thought that, in truth, Addy was fortunate to have someone so loving and caring in her life, man or woman. Tania stayed with them for a couple of nights at the cottage before she left.
***
The night Tania left, in the quiet of their bedroom, Addy talked to Karen, as she walked about the room. Karen was reclined against the headboard of the bed, with her legs covered by the bed sheet, reading. “Are you relaxed now? I told you everything would be fine. I don’t know what got into that head of yours to make you think otherwise. Nothing will ever come between us, baby. I love you too much.” She smacked Karen with a kiss as she went into the bathroom to brush her teeth leaving the door open.
Karen grinned. “Can’t help it. It’s like trying to take a floatie away from a kid at the pool, I guess.”
“Don’t be silly.” Karen could hear Addy brushing her teeth, and when she finished. “You know? I’ve been thinking about what Tania asked the other day.”
Oh shit, here it comes . . . .
“We’ve never talked about what we are going to do after the three year term is over. Have you thought about it?”
Karen’s heart sunk thinking that maybe her friend’s visit had moved Addy to maybe want to return to the USA. “Not really. I think time has crept on us, hasn’t it?”
“Yeah, especially with the inn doing so well, but baby, it’s your place, and we’ll do whatever you decide to do with it.”
“Addy, it’s our place, and we’ll both decide what we are going to do come the day.” Addy noticed that Karen got a bit anxious.
“I just want to say, for whatever it’s worth, that I have been very happy and actually love it here. So, if we decide to stay, it’s fine by me.” Karen looked up from her book shocked by the comment and feeling strangely satisfied.
Karen put down her book. “You wouldn’t mind staying?”
“Nope.”
Karen just looked at her in amazement. “Really? I didn’t think you would. I don’t even know what to say.”
Addy crawled onto the bed between Karen’s legs and sat on her calves. “Why are you surprised that I want to stay? We’ve done very well here, and I love everything from Scotland.” She leaned forward and planted a kiss on Karen’s cheek. “Everything.” Karen grinned looking inside Addy’s T-shirt as she leaned forward. Addy smiled when Karen pulled her in. “And I can see that you are very pleased with what you’ve found here.” Addy kissed her and stretched out on the bed with her torso over Karen’s.
“Very much. Perhaps it’s time for me to explore my findings.” Karen’s arms were already engulfing Addy.
“Perhaps you should.” They kissed as hands began to roam, T-shirts came off, and bed sheet was thrown aside. Logical conversation stopped for a while and the only sounds heard were moans, whispers of directions, and requests, which continued until they were both satisfied with the exploration of their findings.
“Remember that song ‘All I need is the air that I breath and to love you?’”
“Yes.” Addy replied.
“I totally get it after moments like this.” Karen whispered and kissed her on the head.
“Me too.”
“About our previous conversation, Addy, I don’t think we need to decide just yet. We have time.” Then she became quiet. She knew that Addy was happy, but wondered whether it was fair to keep her so far away from her family any more than the necessary. They weren’t getting any younger and family was, after all, the only thing that really mattered. She thought she didn’t have one, but Addy did. So, in the end, just as Laurie predicted, she would let Addy have the final word.
“Ker?
“Huh?”
“Are you asleep?”
“Nope, what is it?” How could I possibly sleep with so much on my mind?
“I want to make changes in the office room?”
Karen, who had been facing the ceiling while Addy rested her head on her shoulder, looked over to face her, even though the room was dark. “What kind of changes?”
“I want to get rid of the double bed and get a day bed and make it look like a couch. We never use the double bed, and it takes too much room. A day bed would gain us some room and would serve as a bed, if we ever need to put up someone for the night. Normally we can use it as a sofa to sit, or lay down to read. Besides, I see no point in pretending that it’s another bedroom when it’s not.”
“Well, we only had it for appearances.”
“I don’t want to keep appearances anymore. I don’t think we need to. I think that anyone who comes to our house knows us well enough. We don’t need to pretend to be what we are not. We are a couple, and whoever doesn’t like it, can stop visiting us.”
Karen smiled in the dark. “Are you sure about this?”
“Yes, very sure.”
Karen couldn’t help the feeling of satisfaction this conversation brought. It clearly meant that Addy was throwing out the last vestige of what would have given the appearance that they were anything other than a couple. It was an official declaration, albeit small, that it didn’t matter what people thought. The world was just going to have to accept their relationship for what it was. This was Addy’s new rule, and so it was written. Karen cuddled into her and held her tight. “I love you, Addypooh.”
Addy chuckled as she held her tight and kissed her under her chin. “I know.” Addy knew that her words meant the world to Karen. She needed to remove from their lives any sign of ambivalence on her part, and the pretend bedroom, and the bed were the first step. Addy had a plan.
***
Since her car accident and later with Tania’s visit, Addy was very much aware of Karen�
�s insecurity regarding their relationship and was determined to do something about it. She felt the need to let Karen know, once and for all, that their relationship was for good, for long and forever. Recently, while browsing the Internet, she had come across a beautiful set of wedding bands, and thought that it was about time that their commitment carried its weight in gold. Wanting to keep the matter private, she ordered the rings through a jeweler in Edinburgh.
When fall arrived, under the subterfuge of running errands in preparation for the fall events at the inn, Addy went shopping to Edinburgh. As a way to escape the shopping spree, which she hated, Karen stayed behind making a few repairs needed at the inn. The main reason for Addy’s trip was to pick up the rings she had ordered.
When she came back from Edinburgh, she went directly to the inn. “Hi, JP, have you seen Karen?” JP walked her to the kitchen and pointed to the sink. “I swear sometimes I think your blonde has gone mad.”
Addy chuckled when she saw Karen on the floor with part of her body inside the cabinet under the sink. “Anything good under there?”
Karen grinned under the sink when she heard the lovely familiar voice. “Nope, I can think of a better hood to look under.” Karen pulled herself out of the cabinet and started to get up.
“My virgin ears didn’t hear any of this, I’m leaving.” JP turned and left the room leaving the two women smiling.
Karen was wearing faded jeans, an old burgundy flannel shirt with a white T-shirt underneath, her hiking boots, and her hair was fastened in a ponytail. Addy gave her a very lascivious appraising twice over look. “I like the butch look.” She leaned into her and kissed her on the lips. Karen’s eyes immediately acquired the playful knowing crinkle. Addy had concluded, a long time ago, that Karen would look sexy no matter what she wore, but this outfit was a total turn on. “Any chance you might have some time to look under another hood?” She played with Karen’s shirt lapel as she spoke, and gave her the sexy look. The butch look always worked for Karen.