by Rona Halsall
He turned to look at Chloe then, pain etched on his face. ‘Honestly, it was nothing, I wasn’t even flirting with her or anything, but he’d got the wrong end of the stick.’ He drew in a deep breath, shook his head. ‘I tried to tell him, tried to say I just happened to be stood next to her at the bar, nothing more than that. But the more I spoke, the angrier he got. Anyway, he backed me against a wall and I just knew he was going to hit me, so I hit him first. He wasn’t expecting it, went hurtling backwards, sort of bounced off the edge of a picnic bench and smacked onto the concrete.’ He heaved in a huge breath, letting it out in a long sigh before he spoke again. ‘I could tell by the noise when his head hit the floor.’ He closed his eyes as if he was still looking at the scene. ‘I knew he was dead.’
Chloe let the breath she’d been holding trickle out of her nose, not wanting him to realise how relieved she was. Yes, he might have killed someone, but it wasn’t a cold-blooded murder.
‘That sounds like an accident to me,’ she said, softly.
Dan was looking at the floor, his shoulders drooping.
‘Look at me, Dan.’ He didn’t move, and she saw that his shoulders were shaking. Slowly he turned to her, his eyes red, his cheeks tear-stained, and her heart went out to him. What a terrible thing to have on your conscience. ‘It was self-defence. You didn’t mean for that to happen.’
‘Wrap it up however you like.’ His voice was laced with regret. ‘I punched a guy and he died. In my book, that means I killed him. And I’ll always feel guilty that I took his life away.’
‘But you didn’t mean to kill him, did you?’
He didn’t answer for a moment, then his voice was a whisper. ‘I hit him so hard. Way, way harder than I needed to. I was so angry with him and it all came out in that punch, all my weight behind it. It wasn’t just self-defence, I wanted to hurt him for being such a tosser, ruining the evening.’
They sat in silence for a while, both of them lost in the horror of the situation until Chloe said, ‘But you weren’t charged with murder. You didn’t go to prison.’ She said it as a statement, wanting it to be true, but she didn’t know, did she? And as soon as the words were out of her mouth, she wondered if that’s why he’d run away.
She thought she saw fear in his eyes.
Had he been escaping the justice system?
Is he a fugitive?
Thirty-Four
It was a long moment, a deathly silence, before either of them spoke.
‘You’re shaking,’ Dan said, his arm snaking round her shoulders as he pulled her close to him. ‘You need to get warmed up.’
Chloe tensed. It wasn’t the cold that was making her shake. It was the idea that she was holed up with a killer who was determined that she should stay. An accident, she reminded herself. But he obviously lost it, another voice in her head replied. Excessive force. He said as much himself. What if I make him cross? What if he lashes out?
He pulled her closer, but she pushed away, giving him a fleeting smile, unable to catch his eye. ‘You’re right. How about you make us a cup of tea while I sort out my hair?’ She went over to the wardrobe and opened the door, her back to him as she pulled out the hairdryer. ‘It’ll only take a few minutes, then I’ll be down.’
She busied herself with her hairbrush, smoothing out the tangles. The bed creaked as he got to his feet and she listened, waiting for his footsteps to head downstairs, hoping that he’d be distracted and leave her valuables on the bed. If she could reclaim them, then wait for her moment before he noticed
And then what? There was a silence in her head because she didn’t have the answer, no plan as yet. But at least if she had her passport, money and phone, she’d have options. Without them she was stuck.
But he didn’t move. His voice cut into her thoughts. ‘There’s more that I need to tell you.’
She stopped for a moment, a weight settling in her stomach as she realised that her opportunity was not going to materialise. Not yet, anyway. She switched off the hairdryer and turned to look at him while she steeled herself for whatever was going to come next.
A frown clouded his face. ‘Don’t look so worried, babe. Nothing’s changed. Honestly. I’m still the person you loved when we got married.’
She chewed her lip, worried now about angering him, causing a flare of temper.
‘Can we talk downstairs?’ She hugged herself. ‘I really do need a hot drink or something to warm me up.’
She turned and walked towards the door, hoping that he’d follow and forget about her stuff on the bed, then she’d sneak up later and put it somewhere safe. She skittered down the stairs before he could reply and was leaning against the kitchen worktop waiting for the kettle to boil when he came down. He looked deflated. A haunted expression in his eyes that made him appear older.
‘I should have told you sooner, I know I should. But I didn’t think you needed to know about the past. I mean, it’s gone, and there’s nothing I can do to change it however much I may want to.’
Chloe looked at the floor, his words triggering feelings of guilt about her mother’s death. That’s how I feel about Mum’s death now, since I talked to Gran. But Dan was directly responsible for this man’s death, whereas she was only responsible by neglect. Did that make their situations any different? She thought so. Especially when it was Dan’s anger that had let him down.
That could happen again, couldn’t it?
‘What about afterwards, Dan? I need to know the whole story. Why did you change your name and run away?’
He sighed and sat at the table while she made the tea and brought it over, sitting opposite him.
‘I think I was in shock at the time. I just stood there while his girlfriend ran over to him. Someone else rang for an ambulance. I felt numb, weird, like I wasn’t really there. My mates tried to get me to leave, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. There was a chance that he was okay, you see. And I was clinging onto that. But once the paramedics came, it was obvious that he was dead.’ He sighed again, his voice weary. ‘Then the police arrived, and we all got interviewed.’
He took a sip of tea, his eyes on his mug rather than Chloe.
What’s he hiding?
‘And were you charged with anything?’
He shook his head slowly, cradling his mug in both hands. ‘Nope.’
Do I believe that? Her mind filled with frantic questions. How long would you get for ABH or GBH or manslaughter? Would he be out of prison by now? Has he really been working in Spain?
She began to doubt everything he’d ever told her about the past few years and her heart started to race. It could all be lies, couldn’t it? Then she remembered his baby in the village. So, he had been in Spain; that, at least, had been true. She clung onto the fact, telling herself it was evidence that the rest of it was the truth as well.
His eyes met hers and she wondered if he could tell what she was thinking. Could he see the doubts in her eyes, in her body language? She leant back in her chair, making a conscious effort to look relaxed, waiting for him to carry on.
‘There were a lot of people to interview. A lot of drunk people. And there were so many conflicting stories of what had happened. Well, the police decided at the end of it all that it was an accident.’
‘So, what? You just walked away?’
A twisted smile flashed across his face, his voice tainted with sarcasm. ‘Yep. That’s exactly what happened.’ He grimaced. ‘Except the truth is, you don’t just walk away from something like that. It stays with you forever. Eats away at you. And people react in different ways.’ His finger traced patterns in the wet ring that his mug had left on the table, eyes downcast. ‘I went to see his parents. Apologised. And they were really lovely about it. Accepted that it was an accident. We were both drunk, a misunderstanding gone wrong – that’s what his dad said anyway.’
‘So, why did you change your name? Why run away?’
You don’t do that unless you have something to hide, do you?
&n
bsp; He sighed. ‘Everyone has an opinion when something like that happens. Social media was buzzing with it. So many hateful comments I stopped all my accounts. But it wasn’t just me it affected. Mum had problems too. People threw eggs at the house, stuffed shit through the letterbox, daubed things on the wall. Broke windows. All sorts of horrible things. It was a terrible time.’
‘Couldn’t the police help?’
He snorted, looked up at her at last. ‘Oh, I think the police would have liked to charge me with something really, but the CPS said there wasn’t enough evidence. Too many conflicting opinions to make a case in court. Six of one and half a dozen of the other. In their eyes, Jason and I were equally to blame for what happened.’ He picked up the teaspoon and spun it in circles, lost in his thoughts for a moment. ‘The police said all the right things about the harassment, took reports each time, but nothing happened. Nobody was caught, and we still don’t know exactly who was behind it all.’ He shrugged. ‘Truth is, the whole of his rugby team had it in for me. It could have been any of them. Or all of them working together.’
‘So, you moved away?’
‘Mum’s sister was living in Brighton, so she moved in with her. I was going to tough it out, but then I lost my job. I was an infant teacher at the time, and the governors decided they didn’t want a guy who’d been involved in someone’s death in a drunken brawl teaching little children.’ He laughed, a harsh bark of a sound. ‘You can’t blame them for that, can you?’
‘So, you went to Spain to start again?’
He nodded. ‘I’d studied languages at uni, had done work experience in Spain and still had some contacts over there. I went for a holiday to start with, just to work out what I wanted to do. Then my friend Sofia, who was living in a house share with me at the time, said they needed TEFL teachers at the college where she worked, and I realised there was an opportunity.’ He shrugged. ‘I thought it would all blow over if I moved away.’
‘So why come back?’
‘Well, you know that part of the story. Mum had the fall and needed looking after. Her sister has dementia and is in care now, so Mum was on her own. I had no choice really. I wasn’t going to stay long, though. Just till she was better.’ His eyes met Chloe’s again. ‘Then I met you and my life changed.’
His hand reached for hers across the table. ‘I think about Jason every single day and that’s the price I pay for that moment of anger.’ He shook his head. ‘It won’t ever happen again. I stopped drinking after that. And I saw a therapist for six months to help me with anger management. I promise you that’s a lesson that I have well and truly learnt.’
She understood now why he was so anti-alcohol, and his explanation sounded very genuine. Can I believe him? Or has he made it up to make me stay here, to give up everything in my old life?
‘I wish you’d told me before. I mean, withholding something that huge I feel like I feel like there’s a massive part of you that you’ve kept hidden. Deliberately.’ She gazed at him, saw the earnest expression on his face, felt his hand clasping hers – not tightly, but with that familiar gentle grip, his thumb caressing the back of her hand. ‘I feel like I married someone I don’t really know.’
‘But you do, babe. You do know me. It’s my past you don’t know.’
‘There’s more, though, isn’t there? There’s still something you’re not telling me. The move here. Telling me we can’t go back, wanting to keep me safe. Is that to do with Jason’s death?’
Dan closed his eyes for a moment. ‘I’m in the process of sorting it out. But if I’d told you about it, then I would have had to tell you that I’d killed someone and then’ He sighed. ‘Well, who’d want to marry a killer?’ He gazed at her. ‘And I didn’t want to frighten you.’
‘But you did that just by being weird.’ She could hear frustration sharpening her words and she wondered if he was playing on her sympathy, taking advantage of the caring side to her nature. She knew she was gullible like that, had been told many a time that she was a sucker for a sob story and needed to wise up. ‘If you’d told me all this earlier, there wouldn’t have been a problem. Our whole honeymoon has been It’s been a mess because you didn’t trust me enough to tell me what was going on.’ She glared at him, snatched her hand away from his. ‘You still haven’t told me everything, have you?’
He held up his hands in surrender. ‘Okay, okay. I don’t want to fight with you.’ His voice was soft, laced with regret. ‘I’m really sorry I’ve messed everything up.’ His eyes glistened. ‘I just thought you wouldn’t want to know me if you knew the truth about my past. I wanted to put that behind me once and for all. Make a proper new start.’
Despite her better judgement, her heart went out to him and she wanted to hold him in her arms, make his pain go away. Give him some hope.
‘But we can’t, can we?’ she found herself saying. ‘Tell me what’s happened. Come on. Or this relationship is going nowhere.’
She crossed her arms over her chest and waited, her leg jigging up and down under the table as a mass of emotions swirled in her chest. What do I believe? She really didn’t know. He sounded so genuine, his story believable. She watched him carefully as he spoke, looking for tells that might give her reassurance or cause for concern.
‘After it happened, my rugby team kicked me out. Then my friends sort of drifted away. There were all sorts of split loyalties, and it even got to the stage where I couldn’t go into any of the local pubs. Not that I was drinking, but if I wanted to go out with my mates, there was always someone wanting to call me out. So, my social life came to an end. Then there was all the trouble at the house.’ Dan ran a hand over his hair. ‘It was scary for Mum. That’s why we left. But even in Brighton, there were problems. Whoever was doing it was following me. That’s why I went to Spain.’
Now she was starting to understand.
‘So, you think when you came back to Brighton to look after your mum, they knew somehow and started making life difficult again?’
Dan nodded. ‘As soon as I met you, I started getting weird messages, saying I didn’t deserve to be happy and I’d sealed my fate. Stuff like that.’ His jaw clenched. ‘And that’s why I wanted us to come here. I thought we’d be safe while I worked out who was doing it. I thought I could protect you.’
Chloe frowned. ‘So, these messages they were threats?’ Her heart skipped. He’d been right all along. She really was in danger and she hadn’t believed him. Christ! It was a moment before she could gather her thoughts enough to speak. ‘Who do you think could be doing it? Can you narrow it down?’
He shook his head.
‘Well, we should stop messing about.’ She tapped the table with her finger as she spoke. ‘Let’s go to the police.’
Dan laughed. ‘It won’t work. I tried that before. The police haven’t got time to sort out petty crimes.’
‘But this isn’t petty!’
Dan shrugged. ‘There’s no evidence.’
‘But the threats we could show them those, couldn’t we?’
Dan grimaced. ‘No, because they were on my email and social media accounts. And I’ve deleted them now. I had to get rid of your phone, so you couldn’t be traced. I did the same with mine. Nobody knows where we are, so we’re safe here. As long as we don’t leave a trail, we’ll be fine.’
Chloe leant back in her chair, disbelief filling her brain, muffling the world around her. Dan really had been trying to protect her. But that thought was quickly contradicted by another. If he hadn’t wanted them to get married so quickly, then she wouldn’t have been in danger in the first place. He should have stayed away if his presence in her life put her at risk, not pull her closer. Selfish. She could hear her teeth grinding.
Am I still in danger? She remembered the man she thought had been spying on her in Brighton. But there was nobody there, she reassured herself, uncertain now if that was true.
They sat in silence, Dan fiddling with the teaspoon, caught up in his own thoughts, Chloe feeling dazed b
y his revelations.
As long as I’m with Dan, will I always be looking over my shoulder? Living in fear?
And then the voice in her head asked a different question.
Do I believe him?
Thirty-Five
When Dan finally looked at her, Chloe could tell by the tremor of his chin that he was fighting back tears. There was no pretence here; his anguish was very real.
She sighed. ‘It’s a lot to take in.’
He stayed silent, gazing at her with red-rimmed eyes. His pain was palpable, souring the air in the room. Still, she was unsure whether to believe his version of events and longed for some time on her own, some space to get her thoughts straight. Do something, she told herself, unable to sit in the uncomfortable atmosphere any longer.
‘I’m so tired,’ she said, as she pushed back her chair. ‘It’s crazy to think it’s affecting me already, but I honestly think this pregnancy is hammering my energy levels. I’m just I’m going to have a bit of a nap, then we can talk some more, okay?’
He nodded, eyes following her every move.
She grabbed the rucksack that she’d taken to Brighton with her and turned, feeling a need to explain her actions. ‘I’ve got some toiletries in here. My teeth feel disgusting.’
He made no move to stop her but watched her go, and she climbed the stairs hardly daring to breathe. She closed the bedroom door and looked at the bed, hoping that her stuff would still be there, but no, that had been wishful thinking; he’d obviously stashed it somewhere. She chewed her lip, considering where he might have hidden everything, aware that she didn’t have time to look now. She found her jeans, where she’d left them on the floor earlier, her body sagging with relief when she felt the weight of her phone, still in the back pocket. Yes! At least she had a way to check out his story and to message for help should she need it.