The Troll-Human War

by Leah R. Cutter

  While Christine had learned how to be sneaky because she’d been raised as a human, most trolls didn’t have that level of guile.

  Humans were the sneakiest of all the races, after the demons.

  Unfortunately, humans were the most vulnerable to the corruption crystals.

  Christine felt as though she constantly fought battles on two fronts: one with the demons, and the other with the humans, to keep them from getting completely corrupted and turning against the kith and kin, those who were trying to protect them.

  And Christine was growing tired, herself. Discouraged. It wasn’t because of some damned magical crystal, but due to the reality of the situation.

  Tomorrow would bring more battle. More killing. More death.

  She had to get off this treadmill without getting herself killed or losing the war. She had to get ahead of Lars somehow.

  She just wished she knew how.

  Chapter Two

  Lars sat behind his big desk in his office facing three of his generals, the ones responsible for the latest defeat. The office was on the human plane. Lars wore his human guise, bad-boy blond hair falling over his forehead, ice-cold blue eyes, sharp nose and noble chin. His massive desk held important folders and reports, not that he’d actually bothered to read them—he had minions who read them and summed them into bullet points for him. But they looked important.

  Maps covered the walls, most of them now gloriously covered in red, where the demons had attacked and won. Lars had a few trophies hanging up as well, heads of various kith and kin races that the demons had wiped out.

  The place of honor just behind him was still empty. That spot was reserved for that damned princess troll, Christine.

  Lars had plans for her. A trap that he’d spring. Soon.

  His chair floated half an inch off the floor. No one could see that, however. He kept the fact that he never actually set foot on the human plane hidden from most of the demons: they wouldn’t understand that he was being hunted, and that if he set one foot on the ground he’d be captured and imprisoned again. No, if the demons realized that Lars floated above the earth, they’d think he was weak.

  Then again, over the last few weeks, Lars had come to appreciate that most demons were, in fact, stupid.

  Like the three generals standing in front of his desk.

  Lars had given them human names, explaining that it was impossible for his human throat to pronounce Xmghre’klpghyop and the other names accurately.

  He didn’t bother explaining the significance of Larry, Moe, and Curly, the three stooges.

  Larry appeared to be the brightest of the three, though that wasn’t saying much. He was related to the horse-faced demons who generally did menial labor, like the two guards who’d watched Lars when he’d been in prison. Larry had risen so high in rank because he actually had some talent, as he didn’t have the proper family connections to smooth out those sorts of things for him.

  Out of respect for Lars, all three demons had shrunk down to be merely tall humans instead of towering demons. So while Larry would normally be twelve or fourteen feet tall, he was just over six feet tall. His skin was bright red. Lars would bet that he oiled it just for this occasion, so that it glistened. Larry’s head was in the shape of a horse, while his body was that of a muscular human, with four arms. Lars had seen Larry in battle. Lars had to admit that Larry had some moves.

  Moe was the shortest of the three, pudgy and soft looking. Pimples, warts, and boils covered his head and chest, the one on his left cheek nearly the size of his nose, with three long hairs growing out of it. Lars couldn’t imagine how Moe’s wife endured looking at such a face; however, Moe had supposedly fathered over a dozen offspring. His skin was a pasty gray color and kept flaking off whenever Moe scratched himself, which was far too often for Lars’ taste. (He was going to have to use a serious cleaning spell when these three left.)

  Curly was bald, of course. She had spiked wings with red feathers that she kept politely folded against her back, a long snout with wicked fangs, and glowing golden eyes. The scales that covered her face and back were a polluted white color. Her belly was a dull blue. A short tail dropped gracefully from the end of her spine, armed with sharpened gray-metal spikes.

  Lars might have found Curly attractive, that was, until she opened her mouth. In battle, she spewed an icy miasma, very unusual for a demon. In conversation, she had an incredibly nasal tone that was worse than human laughter, making Lars feel as though three inch nails were being drilled into his spine.

  He really hadn’t wanted to bring her into his office and have a conversation with her. Or the others. But the three of them really needed to be called on the carpet at this point, as it were.

  “So, can one of you explain to me what the hell you thought you were doing by going and attacking the Sonicasmer?”

  They were one of the races of the kith and kin. They had practically no magical abilities, and instead were ferocious physical fighters, despite the fact that the tallest of them barely reached three feet tall. They looked like hedgehogs, covered in blue fur with a small snout filled with sharp teeth. They were fiercely competitive, and downright vicious when cornered.

  Larry spoke up. “Well, someone suggested that since they were just the next plane over, and we’d finished cleaning up the Jungalonions early, that we might as well just go and strike there next.”

  Lars rolled his eyes. “Did you think you could just go and attack the Sonicasmer? That they’d roll over and die easily?”

  The three generals all shuffled their feet, almost in unison, as if it were a dance that they’d practiced together.

  “The boys needed to let off some steam,” Moe said. “The Sonicasmer should have been a soft target.”

  “Why would you ever think that the Sonicasmer would be easy?” Lars asked, honestly confused.

  The three of them shuffled their feet again.

  Really, was he going to have to break out some dance music for them?

  “There may have been a bet involved,” Larry finally admitted.

  Moe looked down, scratching at the back of his neck, before he then ran the nails across his teeth, collecting and eating whatever it was that had been trapped there.

  Ewww.

  “And possibly some alcohol,” Curly added after a few moments.

  Damn. Maybe Lars should get a recording of that voice to use it as a new torture device for humans. He made himself take a deep breath, trying to settle his shoulders back down.

  “I want you to realize it isn’t so much that you lost that’s the problem,” Lars said. These three needed to understand the full implications of their actions. “You didn’t follow the plan.”

  The three generals looked at each other, then shrugged. “We was going to get to them later, though, right?” Larry asked. “They’re on the list.”

  Lars couldn’t contain his sigh. “No, you idiot. They are not on the list of those who are going to be attacked.”

  Moe blinked bleary eyes at Lars as he picked his nose thoughtfully. “I coulda sworn, boss, that they was on a list.”

  “Yes,” Lars said. He shook his head. This was the problem with trying to keep his generals and commanders informed of his plans. They’d go ahead and make stupid mistakes like this. “They were on the list of kith and kin to be turned into allies later.”

  “Oh,” the three generals said in unison.

  At least the other two voices masked some of the nail-driving aspects of Curly’s voice.

  “Maybe we could still turn them,” Larry said optimistically.

  “No, we can’t. You three fucked up any chance of that by killing off most of their king’s children, yet failing to kill the king himself.” Lars let more anger creep into his voice. “What you’ve done is to drive the Sonicasmer, who as you will all admit are fearsome fighters, into the arms of the enemy. If you’d bothered to follow the plan, we could have swept them up as allies. Now, we’re going to have to fight them. Again.” />
  “Sorry, boss.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Sorry.”

  Lars growled at them, still pissed off. “Now, you three are some of my best generals. Do you think you could find it within yourselves to actually do what you’re told next time?”

  Larry and the others visibly relaxed. “Of course, boss,” Larry said easily. “We can do that.”

  Lars didn’t like the casual tone Larry used.

  “Good,” Lars said. “Now, you need to go and report to Misalmorth.”

  Huh. He hadn’t realized that a bright red, horse-headed demon could grow that pale. Almost pastel colored.

  “Who?” Moe asked, glancing between his two compatriots.

  “The head of reporting,” Larry said through gritted teeth, as though he was trying to maintain some sort of pleasant expression on his face.

  Both Moe and Curly gulped.

  “Once you’ve actually read through and compiled all the reports currently on Misalmorth’s desk, you can return to active duty,” Lars purred.

  “Yes, boss,” Larry said, nodding. He glanced over at the other two and gave them a curt nod.

  “Yes, boss,” Moe and Curly both responded.

  Interesting. The three of them had formed an alliance, as Lars had suspected. Were they thinking that they could overthrow Lars at some critical moment?

  Probably.

  And if Lars were an ordinary demon, they might be able to.

  But Lars was different. Extraordinary.

  He had plans. As they would all learn soon enough.

  If he could just get the other demons to follow them…

  “Dismissed,” Lars said sharply.

  The three of them looked around, as if surprised that was it.

  Lars rolled his eyes. On the one bare wall of the office, a portal suddenly appeared.

  “Thanks, boss!” Curly chirped as she tromped through the opening, the others following.

  Lars took a deep sigh, then immediately regretted it, as Moe seemed to have released all the gas that had been trapped inside him as he left. A quick human cleansing spell took care of that before Lars’ eyes started watering and he started choking and coughing.

  He’d have to watch those three. That they’d shown some initiative going after the Sonicasmer was actually a good thing. He needed generals who could think for themselves.

  However, he couldn’t give them too long of a leash, or they’d turn and bite him.

  Lars turned his thoughts to the Sonicasmer. Was it possible to twist this to his advantage? Or had he just handed his enemy one more plum?

  He floated and thought, going deep inside himself, to an introspective place that few demons had ever reached.

  When he came out, he still didn’t have a plan for the Sonicasmer. But he’d watch and see if maybe they could be incorporated later, possibly into his final trap for Christine.

  Plans within plans. Wheels in wheels.

  Chapter Three

  “But I don’t want to move back in with my parents!” Tina complained. “You, of all beings, should understand that.”

  “I do,” Christine said, nodding. “But you’re not doing very well on your own.”

  “Am too,” Tina said. She realized that their postures mirrored one another identically, chin stuck out stubbornly, arms crossed over chest, legs in a wide stance.

  But that was where the similarities ended, today. Tina had blonde hair and blue eyes and was full of light. Or at least, she used to be. Christine’s human face still bore a superficial resemblance to Tina’s, with the same nose, thin lips, and round cheeks. However, Christine had a hard edge to her now, her eyes lit with a fire that Tina could only long for.

  Christine sighed and used her right hand to indicate Tina’s bedroom, where they both stood. “You’re not doing that well. Look at this place. Really look at it, if you can.”

  “All right, so it’s a little messy,” Tina admitted.

  Christine cocked a single eyebrow at her.

  “Fine. So maybe it’s a lot messy. What’s that got to do with anything?” Tina asked. Sure, there were books piled everywhere. Christine could appreciate that, right?

  But maybe Christine was complaining about the dirty dishes stacked on the floor next to the bed. And the sheets that, okay, could really use washing. Or the piles of both clean clothes that Tina couldn’t be bothered putting away, as well as the all the dirty ones strewn across the carpet.

  Christine waved her hand again, indicating Tina herself. She looked down. “Fine. I should probably change this shirt.” She’d slept in it one, no, maybe three nights. A long white streak of toothpaste went down one side, though it wasn’t that noticeable as the shirt had been white at one point. Now, it seemed a yellowish gray. Why was that?

  Tina took a deep breath. Wow, that was rank. Was that her? Tina pinched the front of her shirt and brought it up to her nose. Yup. She needed a shower.

  What was wrong with her?

  For a moment, the desolation of Tina’s room hit her. It was a mess. She was a mess. She didn’t used to be like this. She remembered when there had been light and air in her room. The shades were all drawn, and given the piles of dishes and junk sitting on the window sill, she hadn’t raised them in a while. The windows themselves were locked tight. She remembered doing that now, as if in a dream, locking and hiding herself away.

  “What’s happening to me?” Tina asked Christine.

  “You’re not doing well here,” Christine said. “We need to move you.”

  “I can clean it up,” Tina said. “I can take better care of myself. I promise,” she said.

  The thought of leaving her apartment, of going outside, terrified her.

  “It’s nice and sunny out,” Christine promised. “No rain.”

  “Ugh, it’s too hot,” Tina countered immediately. The news—she’d watched the news recently, right? Mainly because it was all so bad and depressing and it fit her mood. “We’ve been having such a heatwave. Maybe we could wait until the weekend when it’s cooler.”

  “No,” Christine said. “Because by then, you’ll have come up with another excuse. And another. And another. I need to get you out of here. Now.”

  “What if I don’t want to?” Tina said. “I’ll just turn around and leave and come back here no matter where you take me,” she warned.

  “We’ve talked about this,” Christine said slowly.

  Had they? Tina couldn’t remember.

  “It’s why you’re going to your parents’ house. So that you’ll be protected,” Christine said.

  “Imprisoned,” Tina said. “You know how they’ll treat me. They’ll lock me up.”

  “You’ve already done that to yourself,” Christine pointed out.

  Tina opened her mouth to protest, but then closed it again without saying anything.

  She was in her own townhouse. And she had done it to herself. “But why?” Tina asked. “Why can’t I take care of myself?”

  “Because you’re sick,” Christine told her. “And I’m going to take you someplace where you can hopefully get better.”

  “Fine,” Tina said, suddenly angry. She’d show Christine, this troll, just what she was made out of.

  Tina readied herself to escape, to run. Even though the thought of leaving her room terrified her, being taken away and locked up someplace else scared her more.

  However, Christine didn’t open the door. Instead, she sketched a portal immediately in front of it.

  “How did you do that?” Tina asked. She felt her eyes bugging out of her face. “I can’t do any magic in this room. No one can.”

  Christine gave Tina brittle laugh. It went along with the hard shell that Christine now wore. “Only half of that statement is true. You can’t do magic in this room. But,” Christine paused for a moment, making Tina look at her closely, “I’m going to take you to someplace where you may be able to get your magic back.”

  “Really?” Tina asked, taking a step forward, towar
d the open portal. “You can get my magic back? You promise?”

  Christine shook her head. “I cannot guarantee that you’ll get all your magic back,” she said honestly.

  Tina rolled her eyes. Of course, Christine wouldn’t lie to her. Or make a promise that she might not be able to keep.

  “Then why should I go?” Tina asked. “If I can’t have my magic?” It was one of the things that had kept her paralyzed in her room.

  If her magic was truly gone, what was there left for her?

  The darkest parts of her soul had even started talking about how it might be better for everyone if Tina was just…no longer there. Since her magic had left. Why shouldn’t she just depart as well?

  Facing that fear…being mundane…no. It was much better to just stay here.

  Christine seemed to realize just how close Tina stood to the edge of that precipice.

  “I cannot promise that you’ll get your magic back at this place,” Christine said. “What I will promise is that I will stick with you, that we will keep trying. If this doesn’t work, we’ll try something else. I won’t give up on you. I promise.”

  Tina shivered at the words. Though she couldn’t hear the bell-like tones that accompanied them, not like she once could when she’d had magic, she still felt them, somehow, at the core of her soul.

  When a troll, and in particular, a royal troll like Christine, made a promise, they were bound to keep it. Records of those vows were held deep in the earth and could be called up by the Host as well as others.

  Tina felt herself deflate.

  While she now knew that Christine wouldn’t give up on her, she knew that she’d already given up on herself.

  But Tina could play along. For now.

  “Let’s go then,” Tina said, pasting a bright smile on her face. It hurt to make that expression. Had it been that long since she’d smiled?

  “Good,” Christine said, sounding relieved.

  Tina glanced around her room. “What should I take with me?”