by D E Boske
Darian would most likely win and he hated Shaz. So there was nothing for him there. On the other hand, Kyler was not fond of him right now either. So where did that leave him?
He could always leave them behind. He did not think they would go out of their way to find him. They would probably be happy to be rid of him.
He watched Nephraete’s alluring shape as she walked with Calisha and Tynuviel. He
would be willing to pay a fair amount of gold for one night with her. No sooner had he thought it, then Calisha gave him a steely, vengeful look. Shaz just shrugged his shoulders as if to say what? Then right before his eyes, Calisha’s face changed into some horrible, grotesque thing.
If you touch her, you will face my wrath. I will kill you myself; the words were not
voiced aloud, but were heard only in his head. He looked around for who had spoken to him, but there was no one there. No one else seemed to see what was happening. The only one looking at him was Calisha.
He can read our thoughts? It just didn’t seem plausible. Nevertheless, there could be no doubt as Calisha stared at Shaz with open malice.
Alrighty then. So much for trying not to anger them. He made enemies like Nephraete made friends. He just did not understand. He was likable enough. He was so misunderstood. He blew an exasperated breath, as if he cared!
Darian walked alone, cowl pulled up. The medallion that hung from a heavy silver chain about his neck had a strange symbol engraved in it. One of the many new and different things the elves had noticed about him.
“How long will you two go on without speaking?” asked Nephraete as she walked up to the Mage.
“I’m sorry, did I ask for your company?” he asked sardonically.
“Say what you will Darian Brade, I do not think you mean it. I see the way you look at all of us talking amongst ourselves. No one likes to be ignored. If you like, I will walk with you.”
“I’m touched, really. Why are you here?” he asked flippantly.
“Why are you so angry? I just wanted to talk to you,” she continued calmly, undaunted by his harshness.
“Nephraete,” he began, but she could tell she was wearing him down. His body began to relax. “Nephraete,” he began again, his tone softening. “I do not like to be treated like a lap dog. We’re supposed to be such good friends, Kyler and I, but he disrespected me. He has not spoken two words to me and then expects me to help him, on his terms. Maybe he’s used to that kind of treatment, but he will never get it from me.”
“You’re right. What he did was wrong, but both of you have wronged each other. This is not the first time nor shall it be the last. That is the way it is when personalities clash. You two are friends. No, closer even. You must find a way to make this right.”
“I’m right here where I’ve always been. He is angry about what went on between Ty and me. I know she’s his sister, but he has no right to make demands of me. There is so much that he does not know about me. I keep it that way for many reasons. First and foremost, I am a Mage of The Order. Sometimes I think you all forget it. You have become so used to my presence
that you view me only as Darian and not the Mage that I am.
“I take orders from no one. No one present is even worthy to be called my peer. I tell you true, not to be boastful. Ask Lorin or Loganthar, they will tell you, for they give me a wide berth.” He spoke to her calmly now. As usual, her easy manner had the desired effect.
“Darian, I would like to be considered your friend. I respect you and your boundaries. I value your friendship and understand that it is not given lightly. I accept that there are things I will never know about you. I acknowledge that you will not confide in me even if you could, for your safety and for The Order’s. I accept you for who you are and love you in spite of it.”
“Nephraete, if Kyler was not my friend, I’d kiss you. You’re very appealing to me.”
“Darian! How can you say such things? What about Ty?”
“I can’t help it. I’m a man. To say anything less would taste a lie,” he said, smiling.
“No, but… Oh Darian be serious.” She said, pushing him playfully. He grabbed her hand, entwining their fingers together.
“I am being serious. I am about to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone before. I offered a glimpse into my world, but you are the first to hear the complete truth. Tynuviel and I are forbidden to be together. According to The Order, a Mage must never fall in love. They must remain apart. We cannot spread our seed to any but the Breeders. To do so will bring about punishment. The punishment is death for the offending woman and for the Mage, well at best he will be beaten.
“So you see, how can I make it right with Ty? To do so means to accept her death and that is something I will never be prepared to do.”
“What about Gayla? Why are you with her then?” She tried to keep the shock off her face, but she was failing.
“The Order provides certain female companionship.”
“But, isn’t that defying their own rule?”
“Ah, but you see, the women they provide cannot carry the child of a Mage.”
“How can you be so sure?” she asked, not liking what he was telling her.
“The Order has seen to it,” he replied obliquely.
“I don’t understand.”
“When the girls are first brought in, some of their organs are removed.”
She caught on to what he had been implying. “How can The Order make such rules and enforce them? It does not seem fair.”
“That is the way it’s always been.”
“That doesn’t make it right.”
“Well there you go,” he said softly, releasing her hand. She struggled to digest what he
had told her. But she wasn’t sure she would succeed. She saw that Kyler had been watching them, for how long, she had no idea. She got a peek into Darian’s dark past and felt she could now sympathize with him. She understood so much better now.
“Who or what are the Breeders?” she asked, linking her arm in his.
“When a very powerful Mage emerges, The Order sends him to the Breeders. In this way, our power structure is safe. Only the Breeders may bear the child of a Mage.”
“So, you surely must have been to the Breeders. I am no Mage, but I feel your strength. Your power is great.” A strange look came over him.
“What’s wrong? Did I say something…?”
“Nothing… It’s nothing.” He put his arm around her slender waist and held her tightly against him. For a split second, she felt a rush of emotion surge through him before he blocked it off. Was it inner turmoil? She couldn’t say. She wondered why he held her. Surely, he was joking earlier about kissing her. Wasn’t he?
“Nephraete,” he said softly. He sounded strange, not angry or sad but… Her eyes widened in understanding.
“Darian, Takasha!”
“What? What’d I do?”
“I think you know,” she said, but she couldn’t help laughing with him. “A man indeed,” she said.
“What was it like in Kaleika Bay for you?”
“My father is very strict and he was trying to marry me off. I am T Ama’ Ro and generally, we take our Crebellan as our lover. He knows this, but it was about power with him. Without even asking me, he gave my hand to Kryndale.”
“Did you know him?”
“Yes, we were friends but I certainly was not in love with him. It became clear that I must leave my home. It was the only way I’d ever truly be free.”
“We’re a lot alike that way. I left Mogan Dar… Well…”
“Darian, why did you leave?”
“It’s a long story and one I do not like to speak of,” he said softly. Nephraete put her small hand in his, holding him tightly.
“Sometimes, it helps to talk of these things. I will tell no one if you wish it. I am good at keeping secrets. Besides, that is what friends do. They listen to each other and confide in one another.”
“Nephraete, y
ou walk a dangerous road. I have never confided in anyone. A Mage cannot afford to do so. It could be his death. In Mogan Dar, a Mage has no friends. It is every Mage for
himself. The ultimate prize being a Mage’s secrets and his spellbook.”
“You always refer to a Mage as he, there are no female Mages?”
“No. The Order believes that women belong on their backs or their knees. They do not respect women and a lot of them do not treat them right.”
“This angers you.” It was a statement, not a question.
“Yes. There is no reason to treat a woman badly, to beat her and humiliate her. A woman will give you anything if you show her respect and treat her with kindness.” He stopped and looked into her eyes. She pulled his hood back so she could see him. He whispered something she could not understand and pulled her to him. His lips found hers in a tender kiss that lasted breathless long moments.
“Why did you do that Darian?” she asked shakily.
“I wanted to know what it was like. I’m a man and I love beautiful women.”
“What about Kyler?”
“He’s not my type.”
“Seriously Darian.”
“I won’t tell if you don’t,” he whispered in her ear as he kissed her cheek. He took her hand and began walking again. He canceled the invisibility spell with a word and a gesture.
“You never answered my question. Why did you leave Mogan Dar?” she asked, trying to forget the kiss and failing miserably.
“The strongest Mages are sent to the Breeders to conceive a child. I was to go but never went through with it. The idea frightens me. It is wrong and I find it abhorrent. I much prefer the idea of falling in love and conceiving a child this way.”
“You sound hopelessly romantic, every woman’s dream,” she said.
“A lot of good it does me.”
“So who or what are the Breeders?”
“They are the female offspring of a Mage.”
“That is abhorrent. Who makes these rules?” she asked disgustedly.
“It has always been this way,” he replied quietly.
“That’s ridiculous. Someone must have come up with the idea. But why?”
“It is for the good of The Order. It is how we maintain our power structure.”
“You don’t honestly believe that?” she asked, horrified.
“It does not matter what I believe. I am a Mage of The Order and I must obey the rules and laws no matter how ridiculous they are.”
“But you’re stronger than they, change the rules.”
“It is not that easy. I do not wish to be in power, chained to a desk. The Order has many
orders, factions if you will, and each has a Mage at its Head. Aganor is the Head of my order. He must stay in Mogan Dar and see over the daily affairs. I find this to be inescapably boring.”
“Can’t he do something then?” she asked, caught up in the horrific tale.
“No. They all must agree and this seems unlikely. Most do not like change and they support the ways of The Order.”
“Darian, it seems you are at odds with The Order. Why do you remain a Mage then? Why not give it up and move on?” at her suggestion, he laughed. She did not see what was so funny.
“I am a Shivvendar. I was born to be a Mage of The Order. It is in my blood, my bones. It is what I was meant to be. I cannot just walk away. One does not wake up one day and decide they are not a Mage anymore. The Order would never let me go. They would kill me first.”
“They would kill you? But… I do not understand.
“They would rather kill me than let me go. They cannot afford to lose any one of us. We would never be allowed to wander freely…”
“Are you determined to find a way to be with Ty?” she asked, changing the subject.
“Yes. I love her. I need her and I feel weak because of it.”
“How can you say that? You think love is weakness?”
“It is forbidden to me. It is foolish to think The Order would let us be together, but I cannot abandon all hope. I must find a way, though she may not want the same things anymore. I hurt her deeply.” He sighed in resignation.
“She still loves you, Darian. I think given a chance, she would choose you. It’s always been you.”
“Thank you for the chat. I accept your sensuous offer of friendship.” He began to fade from sight, and then he was gone.
21
They stopped to set up camp. The Logan Plains were vast and there would be no protection for them. They would find no cover here. Several of them had seen a big grey wolf trailing them. It never got too close, but it never strayed too far, either.
Loganthar and Lorin set the protective wards. Nephraete sat by the fire that Chamlen had built, lost in thought. She was still thinking over what Darian told her. She felt sorry for him. What a life he had. She did not envy him. Not allowed to fall in love? How can anyone demand such a thing? She began to wonder what would happen if Ty bore Darian’s child. Would that be such a bad thing? Would it be any different from the Breeders? She touched her lips where he’d kissed her. He was a good kisser. She wondered why she hadn’t stopped him. What did he mean her sensuous offer of friendship? She did not want anything from him but friendship.
“May I sit with you?” Kyler asked.
“Of course,” she said, smiling up at him. He handed her a cup of tea as he sat.
“Thank you,” she said. In response, he kissed her softly, urgently as he held her tight. She felt good in his arms. He wanted her, needed her, and he cared about nothing else.
“Kyler… Kyler, please stop. Remember what we agreed? I’m sorry, I just don’t feel ready yet.”
“Sorry,” he whispered, embarrassed. “When I’m with you, it just feels right. I’ll try to control myself.”
“Kyler… please don’t be angry with me.”
“Why would I be angry?” he asked, clasping her hand. In response, she smiled, kissing his cheek.
“I began to have the visions a year before I left Kaleika Bay. I fell in love with you. It sounds silly voiced aloud, but I knew I had to find you. Calisha helped me a great deal. If it wasn’t for him, I never would have made it.”
“You two seem close, nigh inseparable,” he said, feeling a bit jealous.
“We were bonded soon after my birth. He’s always been with me.”
“What were you and Darian talking about earlier?” he asked, suddenly remembering.
“You’ll have to ask him. He should be the one to tell you. Kyler please, talk to him soon, he needs you. Just imagine how you’d feel if your positions were reversed. How would you feel if you were in love with me, but we could never be together? What if we could never make love for fear of angering The Order?”
“Nephraete, I do love you. I would do everything in my power to keep you safe. I would stop at nothing until I found a way for us to be together.” Suddenly, he understood how his friend must feel and he felt ashamed for the way he’d treated him.
“Darian is in deep turmoil. He loves Ty and wants to be with her, but he cannot for fear of The Order finding out. Stop this foolishness and talk to him. It’s tearing the company apart. They do not know what to do.”
“Alright, I will talk to him tomorrow. It’s gone on long enough. I miss him and it’s time to make things right. With you by my side, I can do anything.” He kissed her, holding her tight.
Kryndale could not concentrate on what the elves were saying. His eyes always returned to Nephraete. They were so into each other. The rest of them may as well not have existed. The elves from Kiri A’ Nouell were fiercely loyal to Kyler and would do anything to protect him. They were happy to see him and Nephraete together and ensured that they would be left alone.
Shaz had been on his best behavior. He remained quiet and out of the way. The elves began to speak common once more and he really enjoyed their stories. He had to admit if only to himself, he had missed the conversation. It had been quite boring being by himself all those
long days.
Chamlen sat with Kiel, Tireniel, and Tynuviel, his eyes watchful. Tireniel watched Tynuviel constantly and the tracker suspected there was more to the relationship than they let on. Since Kyler and Nephraete returned from Limmin, Kyler had not been himself. Nephraete brought the best out of everyone. Kyler needed her and their relationship might help to heal the
Niri Ku’ Yamma.
Tryndil sat with his arm around Tryllia, as he told the story of the battle in Blavven Krill. Tynuviel was so into the story, she gasped aloud. Tireniel put his arm around her, holding her tight. All she knew of Blavven Krill was that it was a dark place full of creatures used to frighten children. She could not imagine how they made it through alive.
Not much was known of the Gor Li’ Khan of course. She knew they were assassins. Their name told her as much. She wondered what kind of ruler Thelarki was and if he would send more elves after Nephraete. She hoped not, she really liked her and they had become close. What would she do if they took the T Ama’ Ro away? What would Kyler do? Surely, he would never allow it. She was happy for her brother, she was, but a hollow ache in her chest demanded attention. Tireniel sat next to her and in a way, lent her strength. They had been friends for a long time. The light of the fire set his hair ablaze, making his blue eyes sparkle. He was so handsome. If she were not so caught up in Darian, she might go for him.
The Gor Li’ Khan had told her a Mage of The Order was not allowed to fall in love. This explained so much! No wonder Darian always behaved so strangely around her. He did love her! She wished that he were here right now. But she knew that even if he were, he would tell her the same things he always told her. Takasha! Love could be so cruel. Oh Shenna! Why bring him to me if I can never be with him? He told her when this was all over, that maybe they could be together, but… how? She really wanted to ask him. Maybe tomorrow, she would gather her courage and see if he would speak to her. She must try.
Despite his almost confession of Gayla, she still loved him. She could not just stop. If it were that easy… If it were that easy, would she choose to forget him? After all she’d been through, who could blame her? He was the only one she had ever loved. She must admit it to herself.