by Rula Sinara
“Hold it in? You hold it in! You think I can control this? Are all you men—”
Whoa. And he thought he could curse.
“What am I supposed to do?” he asked.
Her face started to twist out of shape again and his gut churned as if it was following her lead. She howled and groaned like a hyena then started to do those panting breaths women in labor were taught.
Get in control. Suck it up, man. Show her she can count on you.
“Lexi, talk to me. Tell me how to help you.”
“Chad, I can’t do this alone. The contractions are already too close.” She flopped her head back against the seat. “Of all the times a long labor would have been nice. Oh...oh, oh. I think another is coming on. Chad, hold my hand.”
Dammit. He couldn’t. Not while driving. Maybe they’d make it to the clinic. On second thought, the road was turning into a mud bath. Up ahead there was a dip in the road where it ran around a small hill. That dip was probably already filled with water.
Lexi all-out screamed this time and his throat closed up.
“Okay. Okay. It’s going to be okay, Lex. I’m going to pull over near that outcropping.”
If he parked under the rocks, they’d be protected from the rain and he could radio the clinic and hope they’d be able to hear him. That meant this was really happening. Lexi was in labor. She was about to have Tony’s child. Reality smacked him in the face. God help them both.
They were stuck in the middle of nowhere and she was having a baby.
* * *
LEXI HAD NEVER felt anything remotely close to this level of pain. She often asked patients to rate their pain on a scale of one to ten, with ten being the worst possible pain on the face of the earth. That last contraction was a fifty.
Chad pulled to a stop and immediately reached over and held her hand.
“I’m honestly afraid you’ll take this the wrong way and slap me, but you can do this, Lex. And if slapping or punching or cussing at me helps the pain, do it. I can take it,” he said.
“You’d let me hit you?” That had come out as a whimper. What was wrong with her voice?
Chad’s face softened and he looked right in her eyes and nodded.
“Anything for you, Lex.”
Oh my God, she was in love. He was so sweet.
“You’re too nice. I don’t want to hit you. Ahhhhyyye!”
The pain crashed down on her. Everything blurred. She totally wanted to hit him. But wait, this wasn’t his fault. She couldn’t think straight. She tried breathing. It was too hard to breathe.
Breathe. You have to. You know how this works. You read up on it. You’ve seen others do it.
She moaned and tried not to push. It didn’t work. Those books didn’t pop humans out when their pages were opened. Men didn’t pop humans out, either. She tried to catch her breath. Chad looked terrible and so good all at once. He was so handsome. She really was losing it.
“We need to push the seat back or something so I can get into a better position. I don’t think I can get into the rear seat without going outside first. Maybe I can turn sideways a little.”
“I’ll try the seat.”
He reached his body over hers so that he could get to the lever. She put her hand on his waist as he lowered the seat just slightly. His face was so close. She was so confused. He wasn’t Tony, but she needed him. She wanted to feel Chad holding her. She wanted to kiss him. He turned his face to hers...and kissed her forehead. Her sweaty, likely stinky forehead.
“You can do this. See if you can shift to your left and maybe hold on to the back of the seat. Wait.” He reached over and locked the door as a precaution. She tried not to picture herself falling out.
She started to move and the next contraction came full-force. She grabbed his hand and held on tight. She caught her breath as the contraction subsided.
Chad reached into the back and opened one of the clinic storage boxes, grabbing a general emergency pack. He unfolded a plastic tarp and nudged it underneath her, covering the seat and gears, then pulled out several of the blue disposable drapes she usually used for putting under surgical supplies for minor procedures like stitches. He then grabbed disinfectant gel and rubbed some on his hand.
“These blue things are the closest thing to clean towels we have,” he said.
“It’ll work,” she panted.
“I’m not cutting anything.”
Did he mean the cord?
“You don’t have to. It’s actually healthier for the baby, and safer considering where we are, to leave the umbilical cord attached.”
He looked relieved but only momentarily.
“Maybe you can reach down and catch the baby when it’s coming out. I’ll help guide you,” he said.
“No, I push. You catch.” She was feeling seriously irritated. Pain did that to a person. She knew this was a first for him, but it was a first for her, too, and she was the one doing the pushing, for crying out loud.
Chad looked pale.
“Lexi, I’m here to do what’s needed, but I don’t want to drop the baby. What if I can’t hold him and I injure him somehow? Newborns are supposed to be as slippery as fish.”
“Chad, look at me. You’ve played football, right?”
“With two hands and no slime!”
She squeezed her eyes and tried to sift through the pain for an ounce of patience and encouragement.
Could she have done this on her own? Maybe. She’d read plenty of stories about women squatting and giving birth by themselves...in the woods...in history books. But it was safer with help, with someone who could see what was happening down there. She took a deep breath. She didn’t want to do this alone. She needed Chad to be there for her. Tony should have been the one to see her through this, but right now, the only person she wanted with her was Chad. She released her breath slowly and reached to cover his hand with hers.
“I trust you more than anyone. You can do this. We can do this. I’ll try to help if I can, but no guarantees. And if I yell at you, ignore me and do whatever you have to do to make this okay. And don’t get shocked when I pass the placenta after the baby.” It was best to warn him. She’d seen the bravest, biggest men pass out from the tiniest things in hospitals. The elephant-mouse syndrome.
He nodded but a bead of sweat trickled down his temple.
“Okay. Okay,” he said again with resolve. He tilted his head and wiped his temple on his shoulder. “But we’ve got to, um, uncover you, so the baby can get out. I’m assuming you’re okay with that?”
Heaven help her. Had she been subconsciously avoiding that part? She wanted to cry.
“Do what you have to do,” she said as the next wave of pain wiped out any sense of modesty or embarrassment. Oh God, this hurt.
He was quick. Professional. He’d been trained for all sorts of emergencies, no doubt, but clearly not this.
Damn. Another contraction was building already. What in the name of—Forget Pain Level Fifty. This was at least a seventy. Someone was swearing. She wasn’t sure if it was Chad or her. She didn’t care.
“Oh my God, I see the head. Lexi, I see the head. We’re having a baby!”
“Just get it out of me!”
“Push again!”
Push! We... We’re having...
She strained. Panic set in. What if the umbilical cord was knotted or looped around the neck? What if it was a shoulder dystocia delivery? What if—
Just breathe. Remember your training. Chances are you wouldn’t be progressing so fast if there was a problem. Push again.
She hugged the back of her seat tighter and pushed. Her abdomen suddenly lost pressure, like air swooshing out of a balloon.
“I got him! Quick, lean back so I can lay him on your chest,” Chad said.
Lexi slumped against the door and reached out
to help Chad as he brought the baby to her chest. Him. A boy.
“He’s not crying,” Chad said.
She wiped her fingers down the baby’s nose to clear the fluid and they both rubbed at his tiny body. The best, sweetest, wail filled the jeep.
Tears brimmed in her eyes. She could see Chad’s Adam’s apple rise and fall as he sniffed and cleared his throat.
“It’s a boy. A little Tony,” he said.
“Little Tony,” she whispered. Her chin quivered and she bit her lip. “He’s going to be named Reth, after his grandfather. Tony would want that. And Tony can be his middle name. Reth Tony Galen.”
“Reth. I think that’s Swahili for king or ruler.” Chad held a tiny foot between his fingers. “Just incredible. Now I understand why they call it a miracle.”
“He’s pretty amazing and beautiful, if I say so myself.”
“He is.” The corner of Chad’s mouth lifted as he turned his attention to her. “You’re amazing and beautiful, too.”
* * *
FOR A MOMENT Chad wasn’t sure if he’d said too much or if he’d gone too far. This was supposed to be his best friend’s moment. Fatherhood.
But Chad couldn’t seem to hold back the emotions that had taken hold of him any more than Lexi could have stopped her contractions from happening. Nothing mattered anymore. Nothing but Lexi and the baby. They were suddenly his world, even if he didn’t have a right to them.
He’d never understood exactly what Tony had been feeling when he’d said he’d fallen in love, but right now, this very second, Chad couldn’t help but wonder if this was it. If the swelling in his chest and the buzzing energy that seemed to race through every cell in his body and rewire his brain...was love. All he knew was that the rain and thunder seemed to disappear when he looked at her. All he could feel was an overwhelming, desperate need to hold them both.
Lexi didn’t say anything. She simply wove her fingers through his and didn’t let go. Something undefinable swirled in his chest. He wanted to protect them. Not because of a promise, but because of a visceral longing to do so. He had to make sure they’d be safe.
He just hoped he could. With the roads washed out and the rains coming down too hard for anyone to come and get them by air—and his gut telling him that whoever was working with the poachers was out there—right now, they were sitting ducks.
* * *
IT RAINED NONSTOP for almost two hours—more than the parched ground could drink up all at once. The road ahead turned out to be a dry creek bed. It wasn’t so dry anymore. All they could do was sit tight until the help Chad had radioed for arrived.
Lexi knew there’d be more rain, even if it had finally stopped fifteen minutes ago. Afternoon storms would be the norm for the next couple of months. She’d heard about how long and persistent the rainy season was once it finally started, but it was a good omen. She’d heard that, too. All life here counted on rain returning to the lands. Rain brought fertility and hope from the Masai Mara and Kenya’s Serengeti region to Amboseli and Tsavo in the south. It also brought death, of course. Life was about balance, not extremes.
Maybe her baby was meant to bring balance back into her life. Not in a way that would burden him. Just in terms of having someone to give all the love she’d been holding in since Tony’s death. She gave through her work, yes, but it wasn’t the same deep-seated, aching love she was experiencing right now. The connection between a mother and child. A connection she’d never had, at least not at an age where she’d have remembered it.
She kissed the top of her baby’s head as he nursed. Chad rubbed the pad of his thumb against the back of her hand. She looked at him and something stirred in her. Love. Was she falling in love with Chad? Was he also meant to bring balance into her life? Or perhaps they were meant to bring it into each other’s lives. Or was she simply overwhelmed with emotion at the moment?
It had to be her imagination and hormones. Chad was being caring. He understood pain. He understood being vulnerable and had just been there for her in the most vulnerable moment of her life, next to the day she’d learned of Tony’s death. That didn’t mean that Chad felt any more for her than she felt for him. She considered him a friend. He was looking out for his best friend’s family. That’s all.
Family. Tony had been the first real family she’d had, and they’d barely had the chance to live and experience marriage like the average person because he’d been in Afghanistan. She’d met his parents a couple of times—they’d each moved to a different city since their divorce when he was a teen—and they were good, loving people. But she hadn’t spent enough time around either of them to form a bond or to feel like she was part of something.
That’s why coming here had been so important to her. She and Tony were going to build a legacy that was more important than either of them. He had roots here and, through him and through their child, she would have roots, too. Even without Tony, she felt at home here. Being on the Masai Mara mattered on so many levels.
But what she hadn’t expected was to be drawn into the love and open arms of Chad’s family. His parents, his siblings, cousins and extended family and friends had all treated her as one of their own. She’d been welcomed into their circle, and she wanted to be a part of it, even if she wasn’t sure she had a right to be.
She heard the sound of a helicopter approaching and Chad slipped his hand away from hers.
“Finally,” he said, opening his door and sloshing through the mud to make his way around to her door.
He sounded relieved this was over. And here, she’d been cherishing the moment. Could she blame him? Most guys got pretty grossed out by childbirth. There was nothing attractive about her at the moment.
She pressed her lips to Baby Reth’s head again and let his calming baby scent envelope her. Everything would turn out the way it was meant to. All that mattered was this tiny, fragile infant and his future. Her baby. She’d give her life for him.
“They’re circling. Probably trying to spot a place they can land,” he said. “Stay seated until my mom gets here and makes sure you’re okay.”
“I’m fine. Thank you. For everything.” She hated the way her tone made it sound like an ending. Like something had escaped and would never be captured again.
But that was the cycle of life. All endings brought new life...new beginnings. And all things eventually came to an end.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
HOPE CRADLED BABY RETH against her shoulder and rubbed gentle circles on his back. Chad hadn’t seen that look of bliss on her face since his youngest brother, Philip, had been born. He’d been too young to notice that sort of thing when Hope had first come to America to help his dad with Maddie, him and Ryan, who’d been a newborn at the time. Hope and Ben didn’t have Philip until after they’d all settled down as a family in Nairobi. And Chad hadn’t been around when Maddie and Haki had their first baby.
A burp came out of Reth and he immediately fell asleep against Hope’s shoulder. Lexi was getting a little rest of her own in her room, under doctor’s orders. Chad was beginning to think his mom was happy to give those orders so that she could have some baby time to herself.
He carried a bowl of stew over to the wooden table where Taj and Jacey were already eating. Mac had left as soon as he’d delivered them to the clinic. He didn’t want to get grounded in another downpour, though he said he’d return tomorrow, weather permitting.
In the meantime, everything had been moved indoors. It was pretty cramped inside the bungalow, and Chad found himself imagining building a small cottage like the one his sister and Haki had erected adjacent to the vet clinic. Only, there hadn’t been recent reports of poaching activity down where they lived.
He’d told Mac about the print, which was undoubtedly washed away by now, and he’d called his dad about it, too. According to Ben, he’d checked in with his contacts at KWS and a small group of poachers had
just been caught when their vehicle got trapped in mud during the storm. They were pretty sure that group and the print were related, given their proximity. They’d had some men check out the village but found no evidence of ivory or a weapons stash. The track might have been left by a poacher stalking the area at night, when the Masai were within the fenced area.
That meant the clinic was safe for now. Or at least as safe as any of the places his family lived, from his sister and Haki’s lodge to Busara to the cottage home Pippa and her family lived in close to the rural school she’d established. Even Camp Jamba-Walker, where Mac’s family lived, was as deep into Kenya’s wilderness as possible. Yet they’d all lived in these remote places for years without incident. If this group of poachers had been caught, that meant this clinic was safe, didn’t it? He set down his spoon. Worry had a way of stealing one’s appetite.
“Honestly, is there anything better than babies? I know I’m not really his grandmother, but I feel like I was just blessed with another grandchild,” Hope said, nuzzling the crook of his neck. “If only they could bottle baby scent.”
“Did you not smell what came out of him thirty minutes ago?” Chad asked.
“Ditto what he just pointed out,” Jacey added. “It’s unreal that it came out of a cute thing his size. Kind of mind-blowing.”
“Keep your voices down. You’ll wake him and Lexi up,” Hope said.
“You were all babies once,” Taj pointed out.
“I still remember the first diaper I ever changed. It was your brother Ryan’s, and a complete disaster. Pee sprayed everywhere and your father had to step in and rescue the situation,” Hope said. A laugh escaped her and she covered her mouth when the baby almost woke.
“See. This is why I don’t understand anyone wanting kids. They have a way of making grown-up conversations go downhill,” Jacey said.
“Every bit worth it,” Taj said. “Besides, in medical school, even single, childless grown-ups talk about things you’d never imagine, usually concerning bodily functions. Baby poop is nothing compared to that.”